Inside your Mind
by MornMeril
Summary: when Riddle's diary finds it's way back to Harry, the three friends are shocked to discover it unharmed. is this another of Voldemort's plots? but why does the ink stay right where it is and there is no one answering...except in Harry's head...slash
1. Chapter 1

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: PG-13 (for now)

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: it actually astounds me how long it has taken for me to finally write a long HP story. i guess i just had my mind set elsewhere... but, hey, i thought 'why not?' and just tried it out. i really hope you like it. please review, because this will be my motvation to continue. the more people review, the quicker i can get myself to write another chapter :D! my mind works in very complicated ways ;)

for now

enjoy!

* * *

Harry slowly came back to awareness, fighting to get his hazy brain to cooperate again. 

He dared not yet move his head, because he feared that the intense pain this would cause, could find him losing consciousness again. The sick feeling in his stomach didn't help either.

For some time, all of Harry's concentration was focused on waiting for the ache to subside a bit. He felt strange and knew hat something must have changed. What he _didn't _know was, what the hell actually had happened.

He tried to remember something, but was not able to figure anything remotely interesting out. The last thing he remembered was that he had walked with Ron and Hermione to their next class, which had been Care of Magical Creatures. Vaguely he thought that Malfoy had come into the picture as well, but was not entirely sure.

Harry heard the sound of a door being opened softly and then shut again. Footsteps were heard and finally two whispered voices gave the visitors away.

"I swear to Merlin, if that git did anything serious to Harry, I'm gonna kill him with a rusty Muggle spoon!"

"Ron, please, this doesn't help Harry in the slightest.", Hermione answered softly, "We have to find out what this was all about in the first place."

Harry could clearly imagine the absolute furious face of one Ron Weasely and Hermione Granger's reproachful look.

Trying very hard to gather the strength to move, Harry tried to slowly, very slowly open his eyes. When he discovered that someone had drawn the curtains closed, he was internally grateful. His entire skull hurt enough as it was, anyway. Had he hit his head or something?

Very carefully turning his face an inch to the side, Harry discovered that it might be a little too soon to move at all. His brain felt as if fireworks were exploding inside, but in an entirely bad way.

Having given up on the moving part, he tried to speak instead. It seemed to be the only thing he was able to do at the moment, although his voice did sound a little croaked.

"What-What happened?"

Immediately his vision was filled with the faces of his two best friends, both wearing concerned looks.

"Harry, how are you feeling?", Hermione asked worriedly, "do you want us to get Madame Pomfrey?"

Harry just blinked owlishly, his head still hurting like hell and being very confused indeed. His best friends obviously understood him without words, and just waited for him to regain his senses. At least some of them.

"What happened?", he croaked again, it being the most important issue flying in circles inside his brain.

It dawned on Harry that he had no idea how long he had been out of it.

"We don't know, Harry, and that's what worries me most.", Hermione said, worry lining her face, "What do you remember?"

Straining his aching head as little as possible, Harry though for a moment, only to come to the same conclusion that he came up with right after he had woken up.

"I remember that we were on our way to Care of Magical Creatures and then Malfoy was blocking our way with his cronies. And then…", Harry trailed off as he realised that he actually didn't remember anything more than that, even now that his head had somewhat come to a rest.

Ron's features darkened and one of the angriest scowls Harry had ever seen him make appeared on his face. His best friend looked almost murderous.

"This bloody disgusting _fucking_ git!"

Harry waited for Hermione's indignant exclaim of: 'Ron!' before speaking up again.

"So what does Malfoy have to do with any of it?", he was starting to get impatient.

Why couldn't they just spill it out?

Wordlessly Hermione drew something out of one of her robe-pockets and handed it to Harry. Even more confused, Harry took it and looked at it in bewilderment.

His blood froze as he recognized the small dark book almost immediately. Turning it over with shaky fingers, Harry instantly begged to Merlin that it wasn't what he thought it was.

To his utter shock, he found the one thing he had dreaded. Clearly and unmistakeable silver letters burned into his eyes as he read one name: Tom Marvolo Riddle.

"But-But…", Harry spluttered, his voice leaving him almost instantly again, "I-I _destroyed_ it!"

Ron's look darkened even more as he glared at the small book with utter fury.

"No kidding, mate.", he growled, "It had a bloody _hole_ in it."

Letting his gaze shift to his other best friend, Harry discovered an even deeper frown on the girl's face. He had never seen Hermione this worried. Probably because she had never been this clueless in her life before.

"Obviously Lucius Malfoy fixed it. What I haven't figured out is: _why_?", Hermione said thoughtfully, "The basilisk is dead and he can't possibly believe that we could fall for the same trick again. There is no way that Tom Riddle would be able to come out of the diary. Besides we haven't even tested if he is still in there."

"I don't think that even Malfoy senior would be powerful enough to recast a spell that You-Know-Who himself had developed.", Ron said doubtfully.

Hermione tipped her chin with her index finger, something she normally did with her quill.

"True, but maybe it wasn't Lucius Malfoy.", she said gravely, "Maybe it was You-Know-Who himself."

Ron paled considerably as if the thought had never occurred to him before.

Harry had been silent, thinking about what his friends had said. Only now did he voice his thoughts.

"I think that Voldemort gives me more credit than that.", Harry said slowly, "As Hermione said before: Why would we fall for the same trick again?"

Ron regained his usual colour back and shrugged, obviously relieved.

"Maybe he was just bluffing.", he said, "Maybe we are getting shaken up over nothing and he wants to use this as an advantage."

"No, definitely not.", Harry said firmly, "That is not the way Voldemort's mind works. He wouldn't go through all this trouble for nothing but a bluff."

"Yeah, maybe, but what's the point then?"

Sometimes Harry was still surprised by the simplicity of Ron's mind. Refraining from shaking his head in the last moment, Harry instead sat up as slow and careful as possible and opened the diary.

"Lend me you quill, Hermione."

Both friends stared at him as if he had grown another head.

"Harry, you can't!", Hermione cried, "This could be dangerous!"

Harry rolled his eyes. He really loved his friends, but sometimes they were just plain tiring.

"That's the way my life is, Herm.", he said exasperatedly, "So please just give me the quill."

Seeing that nothing could steer Harry away from his idea, Hermione reluctantly handed over her quill.

"I'm _not_ agreeing with this.", she huffed.

The green eyes Gryffindor said nothing, just took the quill and discovered that it was one of those which you just had to dip into ink once a week or so.

With a shaky hand, Harry wrote only one word onto the page.

"Hello?", Ron read from his position opposite from Harry, his voice sounding incredulous, "You're writing to You-Know-Who and all you can think of is: _'Hello'_?"

Harry felt his cheeks redden slightly and glared at his best friend.

"Shut up, Ron.", he gritted out between clenched teeth, "What the hell was I suppo-"

"Look!", Hermione interrupted their childish argument, pointing at the diary, "Didn't you say that the ink had been sucked in when you had written into it in the past?"

Turning his eyes to the diary in his hands, Harry stared at the page before him. He _had _said that, as it was what _had_ happened almost three years ago. What made Harry stare, was, that it hadn't happened _now_.

The 'Hello' he had written was very much still there, looking almost innocent. The ink had dried and it looked no more than it actually was: a written word on a piece of paper.

"I-I don't understand.", Harry said confusedly, "Why would anyone go through all the trouble of fixing it, when it was just a useless little book?"

_/Yes, why would they do that?/_

Harry nearly had a heart attack, the diary slipping from his hands and falling over the side of the bed, closely followed by the quill.

This voice, it couldn't be!

"Harry?", he heard Hermione ask, "Harry what's wrong?"

Or could it?

'_Tom Riddle!?'_

Harry felt ridiculous. This was silly.

_/Why, I always knew you had brains, Potter./_

The shock of the final realisation hit him so hard, that his breathing was cut short. His vision swam as Harry desperately tried to draw some oxygen into his lungs, but failed miserably and dry choking was all he could master. His chest began to hurt and he could feel the darkness that was about to swallow him.

Distantly he heard Hermione and Ron's panicked voices, even felt hands grabbing him, but all this was beyond his field of focus.

_/Breathe, you idiot!/_, Riddle hissed in his head.

Surprisingly, Riddle's command seemed to snap his panic-attack and finally all the choking brought some air back and he was able to master some ragged breaths before everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Inside your Mind 

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: PG-13 (for now)

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: thank you SOOO much for all the lovely reviews, guys, i loved them! i'm really, really glad you like it and hope that i don't disappoint you when the story progresses! as you motivated me so nicely, i wrote this whole chapter just tonight and post it the minute i have finished it: which was now :) .

i hope you like the progress of the storyline, although most of this is just a conversation/explanation which was very important for me to fit in, because it's the basis for the whole plot.

please review me again and tell me if i bored you outta your minds (no pun intended :D)

enjoy!

* * *

Once again Harry came back to awareness with a sick feeling to his stomach and a somewhat aching head, though it was nothing compared to the pain he had felt last time. More like a constant throbbing deep in his skull.

Feeling a slight sense of Déjà vu coming over him, Harry opened his eyes and discovered that the curtains were still drawn, therefore giving him no clue as to how long he had been unconscious or even when he had woken the last time.

Sitting up slowly, the Gryffindor ran a hand through his unruly hair and tried, once again, to remember what had happened. The memory came much quicker than last time and almost felt as if he had been hit by a bludger.

Tom Riddle was in his head!

Before even having time to panic again, Madame Pomfrey stepped into the room and for a moment Harry was distracted from his disturbing thoughts.

"Oh, Harry you are awake!", the Mediwhitch seemed truly relieved.

She had come to call Harry by his first name since last year, when he once again had spent an awfully long time in the Hospital Wing after the hole tragic incident in the Department of Mysteries.

In a heartbeat she was by his side and feeling his forehead. After a quick check-over with some spells, Madame Pomfrey seemed satisfied and smiled warmly at him.

"It looks as if everything is fine.", she said contently, before her face hardened back into a more serious expression, "Nevertheless I would like to keep you here another day. Just to make sure."

Harry fought down the urge to argue, knowing better, and used the moment to ask Madame Pomfrey the two questions that had burned on his mind since he had woken.

"What day is it? And where are Ron and Hermione?"

"It's the 10th of September.", the Mediwhitch replied with more patience than her usual self, "And I sent Mr Weasley and Miss Granger back to Gryffindor Tower, because you needed rest and it was getting late."

Harry frowned slightly. Had he been out for a whole night?

"What time is it?"

If Madame Pomfrey was annoyed by the questions then she didn't show it, instead she answered him directly.

"It's 10 o'clock in the morning and therefore time for you to eat something. You need to regain you strength, Harry.", she said firmly, "And no grumbling."

Harry had to smile despite himself and just nodded. He almost felt as if Madame Pomfrey was something like a grandmother, always fussing over him like this.

He ate everything the older witch brought him without comment and thanked her as she came to take the tray with her, ordering him to rest some more.

Leaning back into the pillows, Harry almost felt as if everything was back to normal, when something in his mind shifted slightly and a smooth voice spoke up in his head.

_/Recovered yet?/_

Harry stiffened in surprise and felt his cheeks flushing in anger. Now, that the first shock was behind him, fury was the most potent emotion inside of him.

'_Get the fuck out of my head, Riddle!'_, he snapped angrily.

The other boy laughed coldly, obviously amused by Harry's anger, which only led to make it burn even with more passion.

_/You don't really suppose I'm going to follow that order, do you?/_, Riddle drawled pleasantly, _/And although it might come as a shock to you: I couldn't if I wanted to, _Harry

His first name was used to make it sound even more mockingly, but Harry ignored this while the meaning of what Riddle had said sank in fully.

'_What the hell do you mean by that?'_, he countered heatedly.

_/My, my, Potter, such passion, I'm impressed./_, Riddle scoffed, still sounding highly amused.

The Gryffindor felt his cheeks flush with heat and didn't even know why this comment had embarrassed him so. Feeling himself slowly losing control, Harry balled his hands into fists in order to keep some sense of calmness.

'_Stop fucking around and answer my fucking question!'_, Harry nearly yelled in his mind.

_/Language, Potter /_, Riddle replied lazily, not at all affected by Harry's outburst, _/ How someone so dumb is seen as a threat to the Dark Lord is beyond me. I will, however, be so _nice_ as to explain some things to you, Potter. You see, I'm still the same memory from over three years ago. The whole foundation of the spell I used then, was to store something somewhere safe. A place were it could stay untouched by time, ever existing. So now, instead of being stored in the diary, I'm stored in _you_, which makes things much more comfortable for me, as it gives me back the ability to actually _live_, at least to some extent./_

Harry's head was reeling, the headache having increased again. Some part of him still refused to believe that all of this had actually happened. How was he supposed to defeat Voldemort with Tom Riddle inside his head? How was he supposed to _live_ with that?

'_B-But I _destroyed_ it!'_, Harry said, a desperate edge to his mental voice as the matching feeling flooded him, _'I destroyed _you_!'_

Riddle laughed again, a fact which led to Harry turning even more unnerved.

_/You didn't actually think that you could destroy me just by piercing a useless _book_ with some snake's tooth, did you?/_, the question was purely rhetorical, as Harry obviously, had done just that, _/Sad, Potter, really sad./_

Harry gritted his teeth and simultaneously embedded his fingernails deeply into his palms, forcing himself to calm down.

'_Who fixed the bloody diary?'_, Harry asked in a much more controlled way, _'How did you get into my head?'_

_/Lord Voldemort did, of course./_, Riddle seemed almost…eager with his answers, almost as if he was…happy to finally have someone to talk to again.

Shaking his head to clear it, Harry threw the thought from his mind angrily, listening to what the other boy was saying instead.

_/By fixing the diary, the Dark Lord fixed the place the memory, me, was stored in and so gave me another chance to regain some substance. He did not, however, chain me to the book as he did in the past, but gave me the possibility to transfer to someone that resembled me enough to be able to take me into their mind./_

'_Wait a minute.'_, Harry interrupted, a feeling of dread washing over him, _'Do you want to say that the spell Voldemort used worked only because we are…alike?'_

_/Precisely./_

Harry clutched his stomach reflexively, feeling as if he was going to be sick. This was just too much all at once, just too much…

'_B-But _why?_'_, Harry chocked out desperately, _'Why _me_? Why did he not take you back into his own mind? You _are him _after all.'_

_/Now, that is not exactly true, Harry./_, Riddles voice sounded awfully serious…normal, even, _/Voldemort is the future of the someone I once was, but not exactly _my_ future. As you can see I am still just sixteen and my future is _now_, whereas he has become exactly what you and I call him now: the Dark Lord Voldemort. I am still Tom Riddle./_

Here Riddle made a pause, giving Harry the opportunity to take all the complicated information in, which of course did not lead him to understanding everything just now.

_/As to why he didn't take me back, there are two reasons. The first one being, that he simply doesn't like his former self, his _past_. If he could, he would erase all of his memories from then, but of course that wouldn't be very wise, as most of his knowledge was gained here at Hogwarts./_, the Slytherin made another short pause before continuing, _/And the second, more important reason is: To weaken you. To take you over./_

Now Harry truly felt nauseous and the panicky feeling from yesterday once again threatened to overcome him. He could feel his breathing shorten to pants again and desperately sought for a way to calm himself.

_/Oh, for Salazar's sake, get a grip, Potter!/_, Riddle snapped coldly, _/What are you? A hysterical girl?/_

Once again Riddle's voice seemed to give the Gryffindor something to hold on to and his breathing evened out again. With this an odd sense of calmness ran through his body and he was able to lean back into the pillows and close his eyes. Panic was not the solution, it just made him more vulnerable. There were better ways for him to use his energy. For example a way to get Riddle back into the diary he came from.

_/Oh don't bother your pretty head over that, Harry./_, Riddle drawled, _/As I told you before: the diary is useless. You can rip is into shreds, I don't have the slightest interest in it anymore. I have _you_, remember?/_

Not having the strength to answer, Harry covered his face with his hands. For the first time in his life he felt truly and utterly helpless. Hopeless even. There was _nothing_ he could do.

_/That's right, Potter./_, the annoyingly smooth voice spoke up once again,_ /But trust me, you _will_ get used to me, I promise. If not on your own, then I'll simply _make_ you tolerate me./_


	3. Chapter 3

Inside your Mind 

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: PG-13 (for now)

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: THANKS SOOO MUCH for the REVIEWS! love you!!! please keep it up, 'cause that way you keep my story alive :) !

here i would also like to put in a note about the timeline. i'm sorry i didn't mention that (very important) fact sooner, but i have no doubt that you have already figured out that this story is supposed to play in Harry's 6th year, which has only just started.

of course i did read _Half Blood Prince_, but i must say that i totally did _not_ like it. maybe it's because of the fact that i adore Severus, but i can also say truly objectively that JKRowling threw some very important facts over board just to make the plot more interesting...this is just MY opinion, so please please don't take any offense. i'm sure that a lot of people liked _HBP_ just as it was and have very good reasons for that.

so, despite all that, i won't let any important facts from _Order of the Phoenix_ slip my attention. please also note that it has been a while since i read it and i hope you can forgive me if any errors do occur throughout my storyline.

thanks for making it through my rent, but i think this were some important things i felt i had to say :) .

enjoy!

**P.S.:** oh and before i forget: i tried to make this Chapter longer, and will keep trying not to let them be too short. but if they are longer, then it would take longer for me to post, so please let me know if you would prefer that? i personally like it better the way i'm doing it now. this way i'm also able to process your feedback better and you don't have to remember too much when giving me cunstructive critisism.

* * *

Harry woke with the familiar feeling of a throbbing head, something he was getting used to quite quickly. Carefully he checked for Riddle and to his surprise he discovered that he could very well feel his presence, but wasn't sure if he was actually aware of Harry's surroundings at the moment. 

Could it be that he was…sleeping? Was that even possible?

He felt ridiculous as he opened his eyes and set up with more care than he normally would have bothered with, but he didn't want to alert Riddle that he was awake. The longer the other boy kept quiet, the better.

For the first time in two days, Harry wondered where his glasses were. Looking around for them, he discovered that they weren't on the bedside table where they usually lay after being brought to the Hospital Wing.

Frowning Harry wondered if they had been broken.

When they suddenly appeared three inches from his face, Harry yelped and nearly fell off the bed. Taking a closer look, Harry saw that they were held by a pale, long fingered hand. A very old hand.

"I'm sorry, Harry, I didn't mean to startle you."

Harry felt himself relaxing almost immediately by the sound of Dumbledore's soft voice. Looking up he met a pair of twinkling blue eyes behind the usual half-moon spectacles.

An odd sense of relief flooded him.

"Headmaster.", Harry said stupidly.

His gaze fell down to his glasses again and he took them, putting them onto his nose and letting the world come back into focus. His gaze came to rest on Dumbledore's smiling face, who had set down on the edge of the bed.

"I take you are feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you, sir.", Harry said underlining the words with a slight nod.

"I'm pleased to hear that.", it sounded sincere, "Now, Harry, despite having come to check on you…Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"No.", the answer came too quick and too automatic and Harry had to turn his head away in shame.

Would it be really so bad to trust in Dumbledore? Every other time he hadn't, something terrible had happened in the end. Dumbledore had always wanted to help him, to support him.

_/And to restrain you./_, came the calm voice from inside his head.

Harry started, eyes widening. He had been so occupied with his thoughts, that he hadn't felt the shift in his mind.

'_How long have you been listening?'_, Harry's voice was harsh.

He simply hated that bastard!

_/You didn't think that I wouldn't be alerted by your shocked reaction as suddenly your glasses appeared in front of your face./_, it wasn't question.

Harry didn't answer Riddle, instead he raised his gaze back up to meet Dumbledore's determinedly.

"Yes.", he simply said.

A faint flicker of surprise sparked in the eyes of the ancient wizard, but was covered quickly by a gentle expression. The smile the headmaster had worn widened slightly.

"Well then, go on my boy.", Dumbledore said softly, "You know I'm always here for you. To give you advice, to help you."

_/To manipulate you…/_, Riddle scoffed coldly.

'_Shut up!'_, Harry snapped angrily, _'Dumbledore is one of the only persons who always wanted my best and didn't shy away from telling me the truth!'_

_/Are you so sure about that?/_, the reply was serious and the usual edge was absent.

Harry frowned. Why should Riddle say something like that? Did he know something he didn't?

Angry at himself, Harry shook his head to clear it. This was ridiculous. Why should he believe in one word coming out of Tom Riddle's mouth?

_/Because I never lied to you, Harry./_, Riddle said quietly, sounding honest,_ /Not even once./_

Harry blinked. It was actually true. Voldemort had never lied to him, never spared him of anything. Of course that had not always been pleasant, but if Harry was honest with himself, Voldemort was one of the most truthful persons he had ever talked with. Obviously this applied to Riddle as well.

Even Dumbledore had kept information from him before and although it had been in order to protect him, Harry had always been angered by it. He just hated dishonesty.

"Harry?"

Dumbledore's voice tore him out of his musings abruptly and his gaze came back into focus, as did Dumbledore's concerned light blue eyes.

"What happened?"

Harry was not so naïve as to believe that the headmaster had not already known that something was wrong. Probably from the moment Riddle had entered his mind.

"Voldemort has come up with another plan to weaken me.", Harry decided that the direct approach was the best.

Dumbledore's expression became serious and a slight frown wrinkled his forehead even more. A concerned look shone through his eyes as he leaned slightly closer to Harry, placing a soothing hand onto the teen's shoulder.

"Did you dream again, Harry?"

The Gryffindor shook his head wordlessly. How was he supposed to say this properly? Where should he start?

"No, it's nothing like that.", he paused trying to gather his thoughts before taking an entirely different route, "Do you remember Tom Riddle's diary from my second year?"

It was a stupid rhetorical question, but it helped Harry to steer the conversation into the right direction.

Dumbledore's frown deepened a bit more, but he just nodded and waited for the boy to sort through his thoughts and go on.

"As you will recall, I threw it back at Lucius Malfoy at the end of term. He kept it.", Harry said slowly, choosing his words carefully, "Voldemort fixed it and now sent it back to _me_. Though Draco Malfoy."

Dumbledore didn't loose his cool, but the frown deepened even more. Stroking his beard absentmindedly, he thought about what Harry had said.

"So Tom Riddle's diary is back in your hands?"

"Yes.", Harry said simple, before taking a deep breath and adding one of the most important details, "But it's useless now. Riddle isn't in it anymore. The diary was something like a storage facility, but now his memory is stored elsewhere."

Harry could practically see the wheels turning inside Dumbledore's head as he turned over every word the Gryffindor had said.

"And, no doubt, you know where that is?"

The green-eyes boy averted his gaze. This was it.

"He's in me.", it came out as a near whisper, "Tom Riddle is in my head."

Harry turned over in bed, curling up under the covers. The nights in the castle were getting chilly, especially in the towers and in the dungeons.

Madame Pomfrey had brought him an extra blanket, but somehow the cold was seeping into his bones anyway. Struggling to cuddle even deeper into the bed, Harry closed his eyes and let his mind relax.

His day had been surprisingly uneventful after Dumbledore had left. He knew that he had shocked the headmaster, but as assumed the old wizard had kept his calm and simply ordered for Harry to rest some more.

Dumbledore wanted to think everything over and said he would visit him again tomorrow night, until then he had to stay under Madame Pomfrey's care.

That was quite alright with him, because he had no idea how he should face his classmates' many questions with Riddle scoffing at them in his head.

Thinking of the other boy, he had been unnaturally quiet today, having not spoken a word since the Headmaster had left.

Harry had used the time for himself by thinking of a way to block Riddle, so the Slytherin wouldn't be able to read his thoughts so easily. After all, Riddle was able to do it. Harry hadn't received even one small _vibe_ of what the other was thinking.

If he was honest with himself, Harry had to admit that except for DADA, he was not overly interested in any other subject at Hogwarts. Other than that, Quidditch was his only hobby. When he had lived with the Dursleys he had no chance to get to try different things and decide what he liked to do. He had always been just glad when he had been left alone for a while. As soon as he was able to use a vacuum cleaner or hold a ladle, the Dursleys had always made him do most of the housework as well as the gardening.

How was he supposed to compete with a mind like Tom Riddle's, who was brilliant? At least he had heard that from everyone and slowly bit by bit he discovered that it was the absolute truth. Tom Riddle, or Voldemort, may be evil, but he was anything but stupid.

Absentmindedly rubbing over his scar, Harry wondered why he hadn't had any disturbing dreams lately. For the last month or so, he had had no nightmares. Sometimes his scar had stung a bit, but nothing more.

With a shudder Harry was reminded of his Occlumency lessons the past year. Thank Merlin, Dumbledore had not indicated that he would have to continue to spend time with Snape in his free time. The greasy git had not been able to teach him anything anyway…

Harry froze in mid-thought. Wasn't Occlumency supposed to save the mind from intrusion? Wouldn't _that_ be a way to block Riddle?

_/I really regret telling you this, Potter, but Occlumency is the protection of the mind from _outside_ penetration._/, Riddle drawled, startling Harry by his sudden appearance, _/I'm not intruding into your mind, exactly, and if you want to describe it like that, it surely isn't from the outside./_

Harry clenched his jaw in anger, before the familiar wave of helplessness washed over him once again. How the hell could the Slytherin shatter his hopes with just a few words? It just wasn't _fair_…

_/Oh, please spare me with your self-pity. That's pathetic./_, Riddle bit out, _/And what is even more pathetic is that your intelligence is utterly wasted. You could be much smarter if you only tried, Potter. A little less Quidditch and a bit more books would do wonders to your brain./_

Harry's eyes widened. Was that a compliment? From Tom Riddle?

_/Don't flatter yourself. I'm just telling the truth./_, the other boy said coldly, _/And who is that Snape who taught you? He surely didn't do a very good job at it./_

'_He didn't.'_, the answer was out before he could have stopped it.

At this moment he just didn't care. He would make the best out of this and the situation wouldn't get any better if he refused to talk to someone that was trapped inside his mind. Talking to Riddle didn't make him like him, did it? So there was no harm done, maybe he could even find out something useful in time.

'_His hatred constantly got in the way with his teaching. He gave me no background of either Occlumency or Legilimency.'_

There was a short pause, maybe Riddle was surprised that he had finally answered. Maybe he just thought about what Harry had said.

_/He just attacked you without teaching you any theoretical basics?/_, Harry wasn't sure, but it almost sounded as if the other boy sounded incredulous.

'_More or less, yes.'_

Now the Gryffindor was sure that Riddle was thinking about what he had told him. It surprised Harry how actively and seriously the Slytherin seemed to participate in any discussion they had had previously, including the present one.

_/Maybe that was a less stupid approach than I first believed./_, Riddle said slowly, _/It almost sounds to me as if he wanted to make you aware that life was no walk in the garden. He must respect you if he trusted you to be able to defend yourself when attacked so harshly./_

Harry snorted mentally, almost chocking on his own breath.

'_Snape? Respecting _me_?!'_, he spluttered, _'You clearly don't know that man…'_

_/Maybe _you_ don't know him, Harry./_, Riddle said seriously.

Harry wanted to protest immediately, but held back the last second. Disbelieve flooded him as he had to admit that Riddle was actually right. He _didn't_ know Snape. Not even a little. From the first moment he had laid eyes on the man he had been blinded by his own dislike for the Potion's Master.

When thinking back now, Harry had to admit that from Snape's point of view their actions were not always as justified as he had once believed. And maybe Riddle had also a point by saying that Snape treated them harshly because he wanted to make them see that not everything was as easy as they wanted it to be.

From what Harry had gathered, Snape's life had not been very pleasant.

'_You're…you're right.'_

The Gryffindor could practically feel the other's smirk, but it lacked the usual venom.

_/Now, that didn't hurt that much, did it./_

No, it hadn't. Maybe he didn't know anything about Tom Riddle as well. Maybe _no one_ had really known Tom Riddle and that had made him break someday.

It reminded Harry disturbingly much of himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Inside your Mind 

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: PG-13 (for now)

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: THANKS once again to ALL of my reviewers! i love you!

this chapter is longer again. i'm trying to keep them in this lengh. school is starting again tomorrow, so plaese don't be angry if i'm not able to post as quickly as in the last few days, because i will have much work. i will try to be as quick as possible!

oh and no worries, i'm not giving this story up, but it will surely take some time to finish this. i can see myself writing a long long time on this one, as the plot is about to get even more complex. after all the developing relationship of Tom and Harry is the one thing i'm focused on and is a challenge in itself :) .

hope you keep R&R, i would hate to lose any of you guys!

enjoy!

ps.: _/T/'H' _indicates a scene-change

* * *

"WHAT?!" 

Harry rubbed over his scar absentmindedly, having foreseen Ron's outburst. His two best friends had come to visit him as soon as Madame Pomfrey had let them into the Hospital Wing. He had known as soon as he had seen them that he couldn't keep Riddle's presence in his mind from them any longer.

Harry's gaze wandered to Hermione's pale face. The girl had clutched Ron's right hand tightly, her wide eyes not leaving Harry's calm expression.

"B-But this is terrible!", she whispered.

Sighing, the green eyed Gryffindor patted the girl's arm. He knew that despite popular believe, Hermione was actually quite soft hearted.

"Look, it's not as if he could do much in there.", Harry tried to reassure them, "It's really nothing more than a pain in the ass."

"Harry!", Hermione seemed even more shocked, "How can you say that? Maybe he wants to drain you off your life-force! Or maybe he wants to possess you!"

Harry frowned. He hadn't really thought about that…But Riddle had no control whatsoever. He was just the place where the other boy's memory was stored. On the other hand, he _did_ have control over the diary as long as he had been in it, hadn't he?

_/Getting worried there, Potter?/_

Harry stiffened slightly. He was definitely not in the mood, even less so when having a private conversation with his best friends.

'_Shut up, Riddle.'_

The other boy just chuckled evilly, but didn't answer.

"Calm down, Hermione.", Ron said, though Harry could see that he had paled as well, "Maybe it's not as bad as we think. Didn't Riddle just get stronger after Ginny had willingly trusted in him?"

"Ron is right, Hermione.", Harry said sounding more convinced than he felt, "He doesn't have any power over me, because I won't let him."

Slowly natural colour seemed to return to the girl's white face and the grip on Ron's hand loosened slightly. Harry could practically watch as her cool logic returned to her.

Sometimes it shocked Harry how well he actually knew his friends.

"Right.", Ron said firmly, a grin lighting his features, "After all, Harry can even fight off the Imperius, so why should Riddle be a problem for him?"

Hermione shot the red head an angry look.

"You shouldn't be taking this so lightly. Both of you.", she bit out, looking back to Harry, "I will go straight to the library and look something up about mind control. Maybe we can find a way for you to block him, or even better, throw him back out."

Ron rolled his eyes as soon as he had heard the word 'library'. Sometimes Harry believed that the youngest Weasley-boy just couldn't accept that a girl was smarter than him.

"And maybe you just make too much of a fuss over it, Hermione, as always."

Leaning back into his pillows, Harry let his once again aching head rest against the wall behind him. He knew that Ron and Hermione were just about to get started with one of their little brawls.

"Ron! How can you say that!", as expected the brown haired girl was highly disgruntled, "Harry could be in real danger here!"

"Harry is _always_ in danger, Hermione!", Ron shot back angrily, as usual loosing his temper much too quickly.

The girl spluttered, not finding a quick enough retort and therefore getting even angrier.

"What?", Ron laid a hand over his heart in mock-shock, "Is Hermione Granger actually not able to shoot one of her overly smart answers at me?"

Snatching her hand back, Hermione stood up as if the chair she had been sitting on had burned her. Harry knew her well enough to be able to see the hurt that flashed in her brown eyes.

"I'm sorry, Harry, I'll see you later.", and then she was gone, having rushed from the room in high speed.

Ron rubbed over his face, obviously not at all pleased at himself.

"That's really not the way to do it , Ron.", Harry spoke up.

"What am I supposed to do, mate?", the other boy said as blue eyes rose to meet his own, "She's just so-so-so…"

"Lovely?"

"Yes!", Ron burst out impulsively, but then realising what he had said a deep flush spread over his cheeks, "No! That's not what I wanted to say!"

Harry actually grinned and it felt good. The muscles of his face felt as if he hadn't done that in a long time.

"Yeah, but you were thinking it.", he said amusement seeping through his voice, "C'mon, Ron, just admit it."

Ron blushed even more, but didn't deny it anymore. He looked kind of defeated all of a sudden.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. Ron must be really desperate to be asking him for love advice. After all the green eyes Gryffindor was not actually famous for his amorous victories. More of the opposite…

"Right now?", he asked and went on without waiting for an answer, "Go after her and apologize."

"But-"

"No 'but's, Ron.", he interrupted his best friend firmly, "You really hurt her. Try to be a bit more sensitive, alright? And now get lost and don't come back before you have made up with her."

Pleased with himself, Harry watched as Ron got up with a determined expression. Only a fleeting 'bye' later found the Boy-Who-Lived alone in the hospital wing once again.

Shaking his head, Harry relaxed into the pillows once more, happy to let his aching head rest a bit.

_/So you really believe that I'm completely helpless?/_

The green-eyed boy's spine stiffened reflexively, as it always happened when he felt the familiar shifting in his mind and Riddle's smooth voice flooding his mind. He was _really_ not in the mood. Couldn't he get one moment of privacy? Of peace?

'_There is nothing you _could_ do. I'm not Ginny, after all. And I know you, Riddle, I know the sick way your mind works.'_

A chilly feeling suddenly ran through his body and Harry could practically feel another wall being pulled up between them, shutting him nearly completely out. Instinctively Harry drew his blanket around him and clutched it with suddenly clammy fingers. He felt almost physically in pain and only now realised that he had been not _so_ clueless as to what Riddle had been feeling before. Maybe it was that he just hadn't cared enough to interpret the other's feelings correctly. Or more like, he hadn't cared at all, period.

_/You haven't got the slightest idea who I really am, Potter, just like everyone else who had ever made my acquaintance. No one ever _cared

Harry felt his chest tighten and his breath shorten, making him gasp softly as he curled into a ball.

'_Wh-What a-are you doing t-to me?'_

_/Nothing, Harry, I'm doing nothing to you. You are doing this to yourself./_, Riddle's voice had softened somewhat, but the wall was still firmly in place, _/You have got no idea about the way this bond works and as long as you put no effort in this, I won't either. You are just the source that's keeping me alive. I have no interest in making this any easer for you. It's all the same to me./_

Pressing his eyes shut tightly, Harry clutched the blanket even tighter. The anger seemed to only make the pain worse.

'_You bloody bastard.'_

_/Hurts, doesn't it./_, the drawling voice was cold, emotionless, _/Well, didn't you want to know what I was feeling so badly? This is it, Harry, this is exactly what I am feeling./_

Then the wall was suddenly gone and the pressure on Harry's chest vanished. Wiping cold sweat from his forehead, the Boy-Who-Lived panted heavily, the hand that had wiped over his face coming to rest in his own hair, trying to lessen the ache in his head.

A faint sense of presence was all that had remained of Riddle.

Trembling all over, Harry lay back and drew the covers over himself waiting for the warmth to slowly seep back into his bones.

What the hell had actually happened?

_/T/'H' _

When Harry woke up again, he was feeling a lot better. Darkness had already spread it's blanket around the castle and it's grounds. Having no idea what time it actually was, the Gryffindor sat up to grasp for his wand on the bedside table.

"_Tempus_."

The face of a clock appeared in front of him, made out of azure blue mist. It told him that it was half past seven. With a wave of his wand, the clock vanished again and Harry put the wand aside.

When Harry felt the familiar shift in his mind, he almost panicked, fearing that the pain from earlier would come back to him. He could still fell the echo of the crawling coldness.

_/You should call the mediwhitch and order food and some chocolate./_

To Harry's surprise, Riddle sounded almost normal. It almost was as if nothing had happened.

A sudden thought came to Harry's mind, making him shudder.

'_You said Voldemort sent you to weaken me.'_, Harry said slowly, _'This…thing…earlier…Is this how you want to do it?'_

Riddle was silent for so long that the Gryffindor thought that the other boy wouldn't answer him at all, therefore he started slightly when he actually did.

_/No. I thought I already told you what it was./_, changing the subject abruptly Riddle went on, _/I have much more effective ways to do that, but don't worry I won't have you killed./_

Harry frowned deeply, confusion flooding his mind.

'_But Voldemort wants me dead.'_

_/True./_, Riddle answered neutrally, _/But what he wants even more than that, it you on his side./_

'_I would _never_ change sides!'_

_/I thought you knew better by now then to divide everything into black and white, Harry./_, there was a short pause before the Slytherin went on, _/And be as it may, I want you alive as I already told you. I have no intention of dying and as long as I haven't found a way to get my own body, I won't let anything happen to you./_

'_You're such a selfish bastard.'_, Harry said disgustedly.

_/Only because they made me, Harry./_

Not knowing what to say to that, the Boy-Who-Lived ignored the comment as well as he could. Instead going back to questioning the other boy, who seemed almost eager for conversation once again. Tom Riddle would have never stricken Harry for a talk active person…

'_So, how do you want to protect me then?'_, the green eyed boy asked curiously, _/As you said, you don't even have a body of your own.'_

_/Gods, Potter, you can be so dense sometimes./_, Riddle said in a voice that would match a shaking head, _/Watch this./_

Even being used to magic by now, Harry nearly got a heart attack as he watched the water glass on his bed side table rising in the air, before coming to a hold one foot over the small table.

Only a moment later it sank back to where it had previously been. Almost immediately Harry felt the familiar feeling of having been drained of some of his energy. It was the same feeling he got after having performed really difficult spells that took a lot out of his magical power.

Unable to move, Harry just set there, still staring at the water glass. The fact that Riddle was able to do magic changed the whole situation drastically. Furthermore he used _wandless_ magic by using Harry's power none the less.

'_Wha-How-'_, swallowing, Harry tried again, _'You can do wandless magic?'_

There was no hesitation this time, almost as if Riddle had foreseen the question and already thought about his answer carefully.

_/Every decent wizard can do wandless magic, Potter, but because of their fear people with magical blood searched for a way to control it. They feared that undisciplined wizards or witches could cause great damage to society, therefore wands were created. With time they became dependant on them, every generation more than the one before them. Today there are not even a handful of wizards and witches that possess enough power do practice wandless magic. Furthermore the Ministry would demand to have a close eye on those who actually would be able to do it. So you can either practice it somewhat illegally or not at all./_

_/I think that this is ridiculous and it shames me that our kind has sunk so low, afraid every step of the way. No wonder Voldemort had been able to cause so much damage, if people were such cowards from the beginning./_

There was a long time where neither of them spoke. Harry was still dumbstruck, letting all the information slowly seep into his brain. No one had ever told him that, not one class in school had thought them that. And what shocked him even more, was that every word coming out of Riddle's mouth sounded so…_true_.

Had no one deemed it important enough? How many people actually knew?

Harry didn't know when he was able to speak again, but it must have been a very long time later.

'_But why did this little magic you did drain me to this point?'_, the old hunger to learn anything and everything resurfaced once again, _'You did use _"Wingardium Leviosa"_, right? So normally I wouldn't have felt anything by performing a simple charm like that.'_

Again the answered came almost immediately, and Harry was surprised at how patient Riddle sounded.

_/You are right in what you say, Harry, but you forget that a wand makes it much easier to perform a spell. By bundling the magic, it controls it and draws much less energy from you than when you have to do it alone./_

Frowning Harry paused only a moment before the next question shot threw his brain.

'_But how can you perform a strong spell without a wand if it drains all of your magical energy? What about _"Expecto Patronum"_ or the Unforgivables?'_

_/It's all a matter of practice, Harry, another reason why most wizards are so incompetent. To use a wand it requires nothing more than magical blood and the right words. When you use wandless magic you have to concentrate on your power in magic and also in your own will. No one who is not determined enough can do magic without a wand./_

'_So you actually don't need the words at all?'_

_/A very good question, but it is not answered easily, because I could answer it both with a yes and a no./_, riddle made a short pause, obviously searching for an easy way to make Harry understand everything he was saying.

Harry had known that Riddle was smart, but _that_ really surpassed all of his believes. Smart was a word that fitted Hermione. But this, this was really brilliant.

_/By learning the nature of a spell you learn how it is called. If spells wouldn't be given names, how would you be able to draw a difference? It helps you distinguish them. For example the structure of "Mobiliarbus" is completely different from "Wingardium Leviosa" or "Mobilicorpus" even, but you could practically achieve the same result when using them one after the other./_

'_So we actually just call the spell's name to help the mind wrap around it and the wand draws the needed power out of us?'_

_/I knew you had brains, Potter./_, Riddle smirked, _/Yes, that's exactly how it is done. But now enough for today. You already asked me more questions right now than all of the people I've met in all my life. Just eat and go to sleep. Don't forget the chocolate./_

With another small shift in his mind, Riddle had drawn back from the front of his thoughts, before Harry had been able to answer. Probably to rest as well.

Harry's head was still reeling and struggling to understand everything he had just learned.

As the Boy-Who-Lived rang for Madame Pomfrey, he didn't seem to get Riddle out of his thoughts, literally. For a moment he had actually forgotten that it was Riddle who he had been talking to. For a moment it had just been Tom.


	5. Chapter 5

Inside your Mind 

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: PG-13 (for now)

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: here i am once again! i'm REALLY sorry for the long wait, but as i told you school is keeping me busy. i'll try to post the next chapter quicker, but if i really have SO much work, i promise that i will at least post once a week.

again THANK YOU my reviewers, love you! pls keep it up! i hope i'm making it interesting enough to keep you with me ;) .

enjoy!

p.s.: every explanation given by Tom about magic is just the way i would explain it, so no offense to people who see it differently.

* * *

Harry fell onto his bed exhaustedly the mattress feathering under his weight. With arms spread wide, he just lay there without moving. Today had been one of the most straining days in his life. 

All day his friends and classmates had bombarded him with questions and if that hadn't been enough, every time he had seen Malfoy the other teen had sneered at him knowingly. Despite what Harry had been thinking, the other Slytherins obviously knew nothing about Malfoy's stunt, which made Harry thoughtful. How many did actually know about this? If it had been common knowledge in the circles of the Death Eaters, Snape would have informed them long before Harry had told Dumbledore.

Besides asking him about the incident 4 days ago, members of the DA kept asking him if Harry would continue his weekly lessons with them. The problem with this was, that even Harry himself didn't know about this yet. There was actually something else that he wanted to do, but therefore he had to ask for Riddle's help, something he very desperately had wanted to avoid. The more distance between them, the better.

To his surprise, Riddle had kept mostly to himself, a fact for which the Gryffindor was quite grateful, as his nerves had already been awfully strained.

He almost felt sick when he thought about how much homework he had to do. Not having the strength to get up fully from the bed, Harry just sat up and dragged his schoolbag over the edge of the bed.

Before retrieving his books, he took his time to look around his knew room. He had had no time to take a closer look at it till now.

Yesterday, just as Harry had finished his dinner (and chocolate) Dumbledore had come to visit. He remembered the headmaster's words and let them run through his mind once more. He had told Harry that he wanted him close, therefore the Boy-Who-Lived had found himself in a big room just one corridor away from the headmasters office, where his private quarters were situated as well. As it seemed Dumbledore feared that Riddle would do something to Harry or maybe even try to possess him in some way. So by moving Harry into private rooms, the headmaster ensured Harry's as well as the safety of his dorm-mates.

This of course, had led to even more questions, which Harry had trouble answering. In the end they decided to take his frequent nightmares as cover-story, but this of course, was not really believed by everyone. Especially not the Slytherins. They obviously thought that this was another special treat for the special Harry Potter.

Shaking his head, the Gryffindor tried to clear it and instead looked around the room once more. It was the biggest he had ever seen. Twice the size of the Dursley's living room. In order to make it more comfortable for him, the colours of his bed as well as the fabric of the big couch and armchairs in front of the fireplace, were red velvet with gold.

Said fireplace was as big as the one in the common room, helping to keep the room warm. Other than that there was only a big window with heavy drapes, where Harry had a beautiful view of the lake and a desk with his own bookshelf. Obviously Dumbledore wanted him to leave the room as little as possible.

As it was, Harry might just do that. At least for three days or so, seeing how the other students annoyed him with endless questioning and silly assumptions.

Ron, who had successfully made up with Hermione, had thrown a fit when he had heard that his best friend had to move to another room. After having seen it, the Weasley's mood had got even darker and Harry had an ugly feeling that some of Ron's jealousy had returned.

Looking back down to his schoolbag, Harry sighed as he spilled the contents on the bed. It would take some time for him to get used to this. The Gryffindor had always liked to feel the presence of his dorm mates and would miss hearing them moving around and joking with each other. Not to mention that he wasn't used to having so much space of his own.

Thinking back, Harry had to admit that it had taken him over a week to be able to fall asleep after having moved from his cupboard to the Dudley's second bedroom, which had even been small considered to the other rooms in the Dursley's house.

Absentmindedly rubbing over his scar, Harry thought about which homework he should do first and decided to start on Transfiguration, as he needed to concentrate a lot and probably wouldn't be able to in an hour from now.

Half an hour later found Harry lying on his stomach, chewing at the end of his quill. He reread the five sentences he had written for the hundredth time, still unable to add another one. He just couldn't understand the damn meaning of this silly exercise. How was he supposed to explain the transfiguration of a stone to a mouse on a whole roll of parchment?

_/Having problems, Potter?/_

Harry was too frustrated to snap at the other boy, therefore he just took the chance to blurt out his displeasure of the situation. Normally Ron was the one he did that with, which usually led to Hermione scolding them both and telling them the solution of the problem as complicated as any textbook would have done. They hardly ever understood what she was actually talking about.

'_What the fuck am I supposed to write about this?'_, Harry retorted, his mental voice highly annoyed, _'You wave your wand at the damn stone and if you've done it right, the damn thing changes to a mouse. End of story.'_

Riddle actually chuckled. _Chuckled._

'_What's so damn funny?'_, frustration was slowly turning into anger, which mostly was directed at himself.

_/Now, now Harry, no reason to get so worked up over this./_, Riddle mocked, sounding a lot like Dumbledore, before his voice changed sounding more serious, _/Your problem is, that you are not concentrating and therefore overlooking the things going on _under_ the surface./_

'_What the hell are you talking about?'_

_/Come on, Potter, use your witty brain just a bit more often./, _Riddle said in an annoyed voice, _/You don't really think that the structure of a mouse that had been transfigured from a stone is the same as a mouse that had been born as an animal?/_

Harry frowned. He had actually never thought about it like that. Riddle had a very good point, as always when he spoke up Harry realised.

'_So how does a mouse look from the inside, when she was a stone previously? Professor McGonagall told us that it has feelings, so it must be alive, right?'_

_/No./_, Riddle said simply.

This confused the Gryffindor even more than the other's previous words. What was the Slytherin getting at?

'_Why not? Isn't any individual that is able to feel a living being?'_

The answer followed immediately, indicating to Harry that Riddle had known he would ask that. What he didn't know if that was due mind reading or his extraordinary brilliance.

_/Not every feeling has a natural source, Harry. Think about induced thoughts or feelings. Think about the Imperius Curse. If you cast this curse on someone else, you are able to tell them exactly what to feel or not to feel, but that doesn't mean that deep in the other person's subconciousness he doesn't actually feel their own feelings. This particular curse is all about mind control and inducing feelings or thoughts that are covering the actual ones./_

'_But what does the Imperius have to do with Transfiguration? I'm not cursing the stone, I'm transforming it.'_

_/False, Harry, this is where you are wrong. You don't transform, you transfigure. By transfiguring the stone, you tell it to look and behave like something else. Everything the transfigured mouse is doing, was somehow programmed into her by the caster. Why do you think it is so important to keep your mind fixated on the thing you want to be transfiguring? When your mind is not set onto the outcome, it can't work. Let's keep the mouse and the stone as an example. When you aren't concentrating enough on a mouse when casting the spell, you are unable to transfer all the information into the stone, so in the end you do have a stone that looks like a mouse, but maybe is unable to move./_

'_But what about squeaking when you pinch it, for example? Isn't that a reaction, a feeling?'_

_/No, it's pure information. You told the stone to _act_ as if it were alive. "Alive" means to you that it is moving, squeaking and yes feeling. But in the end your magic is just doing to the stone what you told it to./_

'_And transformation?'_, as usual Harry's hunger for information was leaking through.

Never before had anyone so willingly answered to every question that had been on his mind, not had he ever felt so willing to actual ask everything going through his mind.

_/That is an entire different matter and much more difficult. In short transforming means that you change a thing from the inside out./_

'_Why start from the inside?'_

_/Because everything that happens to your body, happens from the inside. When you start with the act of Transformation you start with lifeless things and transform them into other lifeless things. Then you go on to transforming animals into other animals. The most advanced form of transformation is the transforming from lifeless things into animals. Before you ask, changing animals into something other than another animal is forbidden by law, as it means killing it./_

'_Why isn't that taught at Hogwarts as a subject?'_

_/Because no one would be able to master it. You have to have made your final examination in Transfiguration to be able to study Transformation. It's university level./_

'_But you mastered it?'_, Harry guessed, but already knew the answer.

_/Yes./_

'_How?'_

_/Now that is another story, for another day./_, Riddle told him, a slight smile in his voice, _/I think you have some work there, Potter, if you don't want to sit here all night, I guess you get on with it./_

_/T/'H' _

_Looking down at the small huddled figure before him, a disgusted shiver ran down his spine. Whatever had possessed him to keep this pathetic worm at his side._

_On the other hand, he had proved to his Lord that he was somewhat worthy of his position. Wormtail was, after all, the one who had helped him come back to his power at long last. _

_Now that he finally was reaching his former level, he had decided to keep that worthless little rat as a sort of repayment for his bravery…_

"_M-My L-Lord, s-she has a-arrived as you requested i-it.", Wormtail stuttered, trembling in fear and still only a small huddle of robes in front of his booted feet._

_Rolling his eyes, Lord Voldemort let himself sink back into his big soft armchair in front of the fireplace. Couldn't the damn worm get on with it?_

"_Don't bore me, Wormtail, or else I will find something to do with you that keeps me entertained.", he drawled lazily._

_Wormtail shrunk even more into himself, if that was even possible, and the trembling increased._

"_F-Forgive me, m-my Lord.", he stammered, "I-If you allow, I w-will bring her t-to y-you."_

_The Dark Lord just made a despotically gesture with his wand-hand, throwing the small man across the room at the same time. He was not a man to waste time, and as mentioned before, easily bored._

_After his long service, Wormtail was obviously able to read his master's moods, because he scrambled to his short legs and hurriedly opened the door to hastily give an order to someone standing outside._

_Soon the door was pushed open wider and a petite figure was led in by two massive Death Eaters, obviously Crabbe and Goyle senior. Wormtail stood aside to let them in, nearly stumbling over his own feet in the process._

_Lord Voldemort looked at the small figure, that was not taller than Wormtail, and immediately dismissed Crabbe and Goyle with a wave of his hand._

"_That would be all, Wormtail, you can go now. If need should arise, I will call you back."_

_He waited impatiently for the door to have closed behind his three Death Eaters, before turning his attention to the remaining figure that looked lost in the small room. Lord Voldemort could make out the tremors of fear that ran through the other's body._

"_Come to me, child, don't be afraid.", his voice was cold, but without the usual edge._

_He needed that small thing to get closer to his aim, which of course was to finally get to that damn Potter boy and kill him off nice and slowly. Forcing his concentration back to the person present, the Dark Lord focused his intense crimson gaze on the girl that had hesitantly started to move into his direction._

_It was obvious that she had no idea what to do, because she just came to a halt a foot away from his armchair, without kneeling down to kiss his robes._

_Though slightly aggravated by that, Voldemort decided to oversee this the first time. She was far too important to scare be scared off by him._

_Extending his hand to the girl, he willed her to move even closer. So close even, that he was able to grab her arm gently._

_Now feeling how much she actually trembled, Voldemort smirked mentally. He was going to enjoy dirtying this innocent little thing. He was going to enjoy it a lot._

"_Now, dear, calm yourself. There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. I'm not going to harm even one of the long beautiful tresses on your head.", he purred, "And as you are going to become a very important person to me, you are free to tell me where and when you want to receive your Mark."_

_Shifting uncomfortably, the girl tugged on her hood with her free hand, still not showing her face._

"_I-I would like to receive it in private.", she told him in a low, but firm voice, "And I would like to have it right now. I want to belong somewhere, want to be accepted for who I am and most of all I want to show it to the world that I am not just a little naïve girl living in her own world. They will all respect me. Everyone of them. And anyone who had mortified me in the past, shall bow to me now."_

_Slightly impressed by the girl's ambition, a slow smirk stretched Voldemort's thin lips. This girl was the key to his final victory over Harry Potter._

_Who could, after all, help him better than a traitor among his so called loyal classmates? Or even friends?_

"_Very well, my dear, I promise you the power to do just that.", he assured her, "Now please brace yourself, this will burn quite a bit."_

_The girl just nodded, her pale hands balling into fists, but not withdrawing her arm when the Dark Lord closed his wand-hand over the fragile forearm._

"Morsmordre_.", he hissed._

_The girl shook under his firm grasp and slowly blood fell onto his hand as she obviously bit her lips viciously in order to keep silent._

_A final whimper escaped the girl and Voldemort had even the curtsey to catch her as she fainted. He didn't want to hurt his new spy after all._

_Calling for Wormtail, Crabbe and Goyle he handed the girl over to them with some short orders._

_When the door fell shut once more, Voldemort relaxed back into his armchair feeling utterly pleased with himself._

_Looking down at the bloodstains on his pale hand, the Dark Lord brought it up to his lips to swipe them off with his tongue, before licking over his sneering lips._

_This time, Potter would not escape. Not when he attacked him from two different sides at once._

_A cold laugh tore from his throat as he let his head fall back to enjoy the feeling of ever growing power…_

_/T/'H' _

His own horse scream waking him, Harry shot up from the bed. Still not completely back to himself, he trashed wildly before the impact with the icy hard stone floor brought him back to reality.

Panting heavily he pressed a shaking hand to his throbbing scar before letting it run through his sweat-slicked tresses.

The cold feeling of loneliness crept into him and he felt his eyes sting. Why was it his fate to always be alone? Whatever had he done to deserve this suffocating feeling that always hunted him, only that at night it was even stronger?

_/For the love of Salazar get back into bed and sleep, Potter./_, Riddle's surprisingly soft voice spoke up in his mind, _/How the hell do you suppose you are going to face your classes tomorrow?/_

Warmth flooded him the moment the mental link had opened and Riddle's presence had moved to the front. Realisation hit him as Harry was slowly able to breathe again.

For the first time in his life he was not alone. And in this very moment, he cared nothing about this person with him being Tom Riddle.

Crawling back into his rumpled bed, Harry drew the covers around his still trembling body. When he drifted back to sleep, he unconsciously reached out mentally for the other's presence.

Had he not already been on the verge of sleep, Harry would have realised that Riddle was not pushing him away, but rather moving closer.


	6. Chapter 6

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: PG-13 (for now)

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: THANK YOU for the reviews, guys! i can't tell you often enough: love you all!

this chapter is a bit lame (and short, too i'm afraid), at least i think so . i promise the next one will be better, but at least we are finally moving forward!

as to the spy, well you'll just have to find out in time, right. and trust me you have a looong way to find out MUAHAHAHAAA. lol, but for now (hopefully):

enjoy!

* * *

"Potter!" - _/Potter./_

Harry started as Snape and Riddle called his name at the same time. He was so tired that he had nearly fallen asleep right in Potions class.

Snape's program was always the same. They had only double lessons in this subject and always one was used for theory and in the second they had to make the potion they had discussed on their own.

It just happened that today Harry was not at all able to listen to Snape's droning voice, not to mention understand what the git was actually saying.

He was either busy keeping awake or thinking about last night's dream. It seemed that over time, the connection to Voldemort was getting stronger, for he now could remember quite a bit of what had happened.

"Do I get an answer to the question I asked you, Potter, or do you rather want to prove me right by telling me that you have once again failed to pay attention.", Snape's lips were already stretching into a sneer, sure that he had been able to nail Harry.

/Before, because otherwise it would cause a reaction and the potion would explode./

'_What?!'_

_/Merlin, just repeat what I said, you moron./_

Highly confused, Harry didn't really think much about his decision, blindly following Riddle's command and parroting what the other boy had told him.

Instantly Snape's features darkened and the sneer vanished, leaving his thin lips in a tight line as black eyes glared at him intensely.

Harry gulped slightly, only now the thought coming to his mind that maybe he shouldn't have trusted Riddle that easily.

"And why would it explode?"

/Because the potion has to boil before adding the powder in order to degenerate it completely, therefore keeping it from coming into direct contact with the weed./

Looking at Snape's angry expression, Harry wasn't sure if he should repeat the answer, but then the desire to throw Snape off won and he recited Riddle's words once more.

The silence in the room was almost suffocating and Harry cringed as he watched Snape's pale cheeks flush in anger.

In this moment the bell rang signalising the end of the first lesson and saving Harry successfully.

"Pack up your books and prepare your workplace. In three minutes I want to see everyone of you beginning to brew.", the Potion's Master gritted out between clenched teeth, before turning around in a swish of robes and stalking back to his desk.

After the first surprise had vanished, a smile stretched Harry's lips. He felt good.

_/Move, Potter, I _do_ want to get out of here in time./_

'_Er, right.'_

_/T/'H'__  
_

"Merlin, Harry, that was SO fantastic!", Ron exclaimed enthusiastically, "Did you see his face?"

Despite himself, the green-eyed boy had to smile. It really had been a wonderful scene. Snape defeated with his own weapons…a sight to behold.

"You should be more careful, Harry.", Hermione chided, "You know how quickly you can lose points when it comes to Snape."

Ron rolled his eyes and in this moment Harry would have liked to vanish. They would get into each other's hair again, he just knew it. He swore he would go crazy if they wouldn't admit their feelings soon.

"Not even Snape could have taken points for right answers, you just-…", it was then that Harry drowned them out and looked for a free library table instead and almost immediately spotting one.

When he reached it, he saw that another bag was already there. Frowning, the Gryffindor looked around for the person it belonged to. Moments later the mystery was solved when he saw Ginny coming his way.

The youngest Weasley smiled when she saw him, flicking one strand of her long hair over her shoulder. Harry hadn't actually ever paid much attention to the girl's hair and was surprised at how long it actually had become.

"Harry! There you are.", she said brightly, "You know I wanted to talk to you for a while, but never got a hold of you. Where have you been? I've heard you got a room of your own?"

Harry smiled, pleased to see her well and happy. She was one of the few persons from whom he accepted being flooded with questions.

"Yeah, sorry, been kinda busy.", he said sheepishly, "You wanted something in particular?"

"Actually yes, I was wondering about the DA."

Harry rubbed over his scar absentmindedly. This was a question to which even he himself had not yet the answer to. Obviously it was something he should think about soon.

"I-I don't know.", he said, feeling stupid, "Maybe we should just call in a meeting of all members and discuss it in the group?"

Ginny, still smiling, leaned against the table her robe sliding over one of her shoulders, showing the white school blouse underneath. Titling her head slightly to the side, she regarded him with brown eyes.

Harry _really_ hadn't paid attention to how much Ginny had changed.

_/Well, she surely has grown up./, Riddle scoffed lightly._

_'Shut up.'_

It was not as harsh as he intended it to be, sounding more like a shared joke between them than an actual command. He could hear Riddle chuckle at his anger.

"That's a good idea.", his attention was drawn back to the girl in front of her, "You want help?"

"Ah, no that's fine. I can call them together with the coins.", Harry answered, "I don't think that they threw them away yet, so there shouldn't be a problem."

Ginny just nodded, before straightening herself and grabbing her bag in a casual gesture.

"Well, I have to be off.", she said, "Sorry to leave you standing there, I hope we'll see each other soon?"

"Yes, of course."

"Cool.", turning around, Ginny made a few steps before turning back towards him.

Harry, who had already sat down, looked up when the girl addressed him again.

"Oh, and Harry.", she said, "If you haven't already heard. Your Quidditch ban has been lifted. First practice is Wednesday in one week. See ya there."

Dumbfounded Harry stared after Ginny's retreating form. It took some time before the actual news sunk into his brain.

Jumping back up, Harry threw a fist in the air.

"Yes!", he exclaimed enthusiastically.

From somewhere to his left he could hear Madame Pince clear her throat pointedly, known as her first warning before striking.

A noise that was between a chuckle and a snort echoed through his mind.

_/You are just too pathetic, Potter./_, this time it was clearly not meant seriously.

'_Oh, shut it, Riddle.'_

_/T/'H'__  
_

_Lord Voldemort looked at the small figure before him. This one was a really promising child. If the girl kept up her ambition and, most of all, her hatred she was going to rise very quickly in the ranks of the Death Eaters._

_For now, he had decided it was better to keep his little spy a secret. One never knew how well his dump followers could keep their mouth shut._

"_Excellent work, Shadow.", he had decided on the nickname very spontaneously, but found it fit her, because of the position she took under his followers._

_She was his most important spy, she was the one closest to the Potter boy._

"_Of course he doesn't suspect anything?"_

"_No, my Lord, nothing.", she replied softly._

"_What about the meetings of this little group of his? Did he tell you anything about them?"_

_Lowering her head in a gesture of respect and regret._

"_He is unsure yet."_

_Rubbing his index finger over his lower lip in a thoughtful gesture, Voldemort leaned back in his armchair. The ever burning fire behind him made small crackling noises._

"_I understand.", he said finally, "I want you to give me your next report three days from now. If any other pressing matter should arise, I can always call you to me sooner."_

"_Yes, my Lord."_

"_Dismissed."_

_/T/'H'__  
_

Green eyes snapped open. Reaching a hand up to his forehead, Harry covered his burning scar as he tried to grasp the dream with his mind.

Shadow. Voldemort's spy at Hogwarts. But what had they talked about? As much as he tried, Harry could not remember. Angry at himself, Harry let go of his forehead to punch his pillow.

"Damn it!"

Breathing heavily, Harry closed his eyes. Everything was silent except for his thumbing heartbeat and the puffs of air escaping his lips. He hated this room! He hated being alone!

_/Calm down, Harry./_

'_Go away!'_

The least thing he wanted was for Riddle to mock him in his vulnerable state. When he got like this, Harry didn't want anyone to see him. He felt stupid and childish.

_/Look, I know you don't like me much, but at least you are not alone, you ungrateful fool./_, Riddle said scathingly, but then his tone softened slightly, _/Do you know what I would have given to have someone in my head when I was at the orphanage? You forget how similar we are, Harry, I know exactly what you are feeling, what you have been going through. Or do you think a room shared with ten other kids who hate your very presence is any better than a cupboard under the stairs?/_

Harry's chest tightened even more, but he realised that Riddle was right. As always. Would it really be that bad to actually try and get to know the other boy a bit better? Maybe it was the same with Riddle as it had always been with himself. No one actually knew the real Harry either and till now, Riddle has given him no reason not to give him one small chance. He didn't have to trust hum fully immediately…

'_What are you tying to tell me?'_

_/Before we take this further, I will tell you two important facts./_, Riddle said calmly,_ /First of all, I will not apologise for anything I have done to you. And secondly, you have to accept that I will never be a good person. This will not change, no matter what. It does not, however, mean that I am unable to have feelings. Can you live with that?/_

Harry was silent for a few moments, thinking about everything that had been said. If he took the wrong choice now he knew that he would regret it forever.

Finally the Gryffindor decided to once again trust his instinct and go with what it was telling him, had been telling him for quite some time now actually.

'_I can live with that.'_, Harry stated softly, _'I accept, even if it was not the most attractive proposal of friendship.'_

The green-eyes boy could feel the other boy's smirk and had to smile as well. Maybe this hadn't been such a wrong choice…

_/I'm naturally attractive, I don't need fluffy words to get what I want./_, the other boy said smoothly.

Harry couldn't suppress a chuckle. Yes he could just imagine that.


	7. Chapter 7

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: PG-13 (for now)

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: so, i got this done sooner than the weekend, i want exta worshipping! lol, no just kidding of course. i'm actually glad that i got it doen so quickly. it's the longest chapter so far and i like the way my stoy is progressing.

THANKS for the reviews i'm very very glad you liek it. as always,: pls keep it up!

the overall rating has changed, though nothing major happens in this chapter. i will rate every chapter seperatedly anyway, so you'll always be informed :) .

enjoy!

* * *

_"- that clear. I trust you will manage this, Shadow. This is a very important test. And make sure the idiot doesn't die.", Voldemort's eyes bored into the hidden ones of the girl._

_Shadow lowered her head and nodded slightly. It was obvious that she would do anything to make this little stunt work. Good._

"_Dismissed."_

_/T/'H'__  
_

As soon as Harry's eyes had opened, he cursed angrily and sat up. This was no damn use! For what was he actually going to bed?

Throwing the covers off him with a jerking motion of his hand, Harry got up, letting them fall to the ground. Stomping over them as if they were the reason for his lack of sleep, Harry made his way to the bathroom.

For three days now, everything had worked perfectly. He was getting at least _some_ sleep, because no visions of Voldemort had woken him repeatedly till tonight. He was slowly becoming used to his huge room and when he really found himself unable to fall asleep, he talked to Riddle.

It was almost scary how quickly he had fallen into routine and got used to their new arrangement. They shared each other's opinion constantly now, and Riddle helped him in class and with his homework. In only this short period of time, Harry's marks had improved a lot. Especially in potions, which led to an extremely foul mood on Snape's side.

Sighing, Harry entered the bathroom and shed his clothes absentmindedly. He hadn't even bothered to look at the time, it surely couldn't be that late, because it was still dark outside.

Turning on the hot water tab, Harry gratefully stepped under the spray and closed his eyes. He couldn't even remember the last time he had gotten a whole night of untroubled sleep.

Leaning against the tiles, Harry shivered when he felt how cold they were in contrast to the water. Nevertheless he didn't move away and just closed his eyes to relax for a moment. No wonder every muscle in his body was hurting, he was grateful that Quidditch practice was in a few days. A bit of sport would do him good. He was just too tense.

As the hot water kept cascading over his body, Harry became aware of another fact why he was so tense these days. Since Riddle had entered his mind over a week ago, the Gryffindor had not been able to find ways of…release.

Harry's eyes snapped open as he frantically checked for Riddle's presence. This was the last thing he wanted the other boy to hear him think! Relief flooded him as he discovered him somewhere in the back of his mind, probably resting and therefore completely unaware of Harry's surroundings.

But if Riddle was unaware he could…

No. No, no, no. Definitely not.

Pushing himself away from the tiles, Harry grabbed his shampoo with more force than would have been necessary. This was so _not_ going to happen.

The green-eyed boy successfully banned these thoughts from his mind as he washed his hair thoroughly. Unfortunately they came back as he had to wash his body. Running hands coated with slippery soap over himself didn't seem to be the proper way of forgetting about this.

As if on auto-pilot, his right hand slid downwards and Harry closed his eyes in pleasure. Only moments before it actually reached it's goal, he snatched it away and forced his eyes to reopen.

Fuck.

To this moment, Harry had never thought of himself as a hormone driven teenager. Now his opinion seemed to change rapidly as frustration bloomed inside of him.

Pressing the palm of his right hand to the wall, Harry let his left hand blindly find the tabs and turn off the hot water altogether, only to turn on the cold water tab forcefully. Even though having mentally prepared himself for it, the icy cold blast nearly made him scream.

_/My, my, Potter. A little frustrated over there? Don't you think you are being a little harsh on yourself?/_, Riddle's bemused voice suddenly spoke up in his mind.

Shit! Now he had woken the other boy.

Even though being utterly and completely cold, Harry felt his cheeks heating up. Damn him, to tease him at a time like this!

Angrily turning off the water, Harry got out of the shower and grabbed a big fluffy towel. Shivering he wrapped himself in it and let himself sink onto the just as fluffy mat between the shower stall and the bathtub, which he had not used yet.

'_You are an asshole, Riddle.'_, he said flatly.

/Why, Harry, you wound me./, he scoffed/And by the way, I never said I would mind if you would want to…relax./

The blush that had faded slightly came back full force. He couldn't remember ever having that much blood in his cheeks before.

Burying his burning face in his hands, he heard Riddle laugh. A quite pleasant sound, actually.

_/T/'H'_

Having fallen asleep when he had lain back down, Harry had nearly been late for his first class. If it hadn't been for Riddle, he would have probably had detention for a week, as his first lesson was Potions.

Throughout the day, Harry didn't talk all too much to Riddle, being still embarrassed about last night.

The other Slytherin didn't mention it and Harry was grateful that he wasn't going to tease him any more about it.

Ron and Hermione were once again bickering none-stop, so that he chose to sit with Luna in Transfiguration, which they had with the Ravenclaws this year.

Luna Lovegood was just as he remembered her. Pale with huge blue eyes and dirty blond hair that reached even past her waist this year. She was very pretty, one couldn't deny that, but her strange, dreamy way made her an outcast.

She didn't seem to have a problem with that. Luna didn't seem to care about much of what was going on outside her dream world, which made her seem even crazier to other people.

When Harry asked her if the seat was taken, he realised that he hadn't talked to her at all this year up till today, even though they've had had a few Transfiguration lessons and he even had seen her two or three times on the corridor.

As always, Luna just smiled at him and answered in her usual soft voice. When she answered him that the seat was never taken, Harry felt even guiltier.

She was the only member of the DA, that hadn't asked him if he would continue it this year and despite Harry's assumption that she would do so when he had sat with her in class, Luna had not said one word to him throughout McGonnagall's lecture.

When the bell had rung, Luna turned to him and smiled once more, telling him that she had been very happy that he had sat with her. Then she had just left.

Finding his way back to his two best friends, Harry was relieved that they had calmed and were all lovey-dovey with each other, so he accompanied them to lunch and afternoon classes and even to the library.

Having found a table, Harry watched Ron falling bonelessly into one of the uncomfortable library-chairs, letting his bookbag fall carelessly to the floor.

"Merlin, that was one hell of a day!", he said warily, "I thought McGonagall was going to kill me when I transfigured her quill instead of the button..."

"You weren't concentrating, Ron and you know it.", Hermione interjected sternly before shifting her attention to Harry, her expression brightening considerably, "Oh, and congratulations on your homework, Harry! It was as good as mine! Don't think I didn't notice your wonderful progress. Obviously you finally followed my advice and are studying more."

"Actually there is another reason for my grades getting better…", Harry said sheepishly.

Hermione frowned, placing her elbows on the table and looking up at him interestedly.

"And what is that?"

"Riddle is helping me quite a lot.", the green-eyed boy admitted, "He's…well he's really brilliant."

Both his best friends' expressions darkened and Harry realised that maybe he shouldn't have mentioned Riddle at all. Their friends would never understand their…relationship. Hell, he himself didn't understand it!

"Don't tell me you are actually talking to that git!", Ron exclaimed, disgust evident in his voice.

Almost automatically Harry felt himself shifting into a defensive posture, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"He's not that bad, you know."

"For fuck's sake, Harry, this is You-Know-Who we are talking about here!", blue eyes flashed at him as Ron's easy temper flared, triggered by his worry for Harry.

"He is not!", Harry said impulsively his voice rising a notch.

Hermione reached out to lie a hand onto his arm in a soothing gesture, squeezing slightly.

"He's right, Harry. Even though he may not be the dark Lord yet, you can't really think that Tom Riddle is a saint.", she said softly but firmly, "Don't you remember that he killed Myrtle?"

Ron straightened in his chair as if he was going to jump to his feet any second, he was nearly shouting.

"Fuck Myrtle! He almost killed my sister and even _you_!", the red-head's hand tightened to a fist that pressed down onto the tabletop, as if it helped him to bring his point better across, "What has he done to you? Is he possessing you?"

"No!", Harry said firmly, at least he tried to sound firm.

The mention of Myrtle and Ginny had reminded him once again that the boy in his mind, the boy he was actually coming to _like,_ was the one boy that would become the most devastatingly evil man of history.

Harry realised that he was forgetting that too easily, letting himself be charmed by Riddle. Maybe he really did want to possess him? Maybe this was all some kind of scheme against him, that Riddle and Voldemort had planned beforehand.

Hermione's hand tightened, the other one having landed on Ron's shoulder to will the youngest Weasley-boy to calm down.

"Look, Harry, we just want your best and you know that.", she said gently, "We are really worried about you, especially now that you are out of reach in your new room. We just want you to be careful. As you said, Riddle is brilliant, he has manipulated people with his charm all his life. And don't you forget that even though the Riddle in your head appears to be just sixteen, is much older than that and had a very long time to make plans."

"Maybe-", Harry swallowed, not knowing where the lump in his throat had come from, "Maybe you are right…"

It was with a heavy heart and a mind full of doubt that Harry opened his books.

_/T/'H'_

Walking through rows of bookshelves, Harry was deep in thought. He was still thinking about the conversation he'd had with his two best friends.

Ron still hadn't finished his homework and Hermione was trying to help him. When they had started arguing one minute and making eyes at each other the next, Harry had felt like a third wheel and decided to retreat to his room. There was just too much he wanted to think about.

A sudden noise made Harry stop in his tracks. Eyes narrowing he looked around. It was still early, so no students were in sight. Suddenly he had the feeling that he was not alone.

Another small rustling noise of robes, as if a wand had been drawn, and before Harry could reach for his own, a loud creaking noise made him realise what was actually about to happen.

A feeling of dread spreading through him, Harry's head snapped upwards and what he saw made his stomach lurch. The bookshelf was vibrating slightly and all of a sudden beginning to tilt into his direction.

Eyes widening, the Gryffindor realised that the bookshelf was going to crush him in only a few seconds. Realising that he could not move a panicky feeling seemed to grow in his chest, watching it coming closer and closer, almost as if in slow-motion. There was absolutely nothing he could do!

Closing his eyes, every muscle in his body tightened as he already braced himself for the powerful impact, but it never came.

A sudden wave of fear and protectiveness washed over him, both feelings strangely detached and Harry's eyes snapped open in time to see the bookshelf being stopped by a wall that only became visible the moment of the impact, shining with a bright azure blue light.

Almost immediately Harry recognized it as _Protego_. Able to move again, Harry relaxed slightly and watched in fascination as books rained down on the shield and finally, the azure light almost blinding him, the bookshelf itself broke in half and crashed to the floor around him, splinters of wood flying everywhere. Harry flinched, thinking about what would have happened without the protection spell.

After this everything was silent. Eerily so.

Seconds later Harry felt the shield vanishing and almost at the same time his vision swam and he had to search for something to hold on to. Blindly, his hand found some broken part of wood that stood out from under the mountains of books, like some sort of bizarre column, and held onto it shakily.

Only now did the meaning of what actually just had happened sink into his jumbled mind: Someone had just tried to kill him and if it hadn't been for the _Protego_, this someone would have managed it without anyone every finding out that it had been something else than an accident.

Wiping his sweaty forehead, Harry straightened, still panting heavily. Riddle had just saved his life.

A wave of guilt nearly crushed him under it's weight. They had become friends of some sorts, at least that's what Harry had thought and Riddle had not protested at the term and now the Gryffindor had just betrayed that by letting his best friends fill him with doubt about someone they didn't even know.

'_Th-Thank you.'_, Harry said cautiously.

A snort was heard before Riddle's voice answered him, sharp as a knife's edge.

_/Don't choke on it, Potter./_, he sneered,_ /I didn't do this for you. Did you forget that I would die as well if you do? Wake up, Potter, you mean nothing to me./_

Harry's hand found the same piece of wood again as his breath was knocked out of him by the force of these words. Why did this _hurt_ so damn much?

"Harry!"

The voice made him look up, torn from his thoughts. He saw Ginny running his way, followed by Ron and Hermione. All of them looked very pale and utterly worried.

Ginny reached him first, touching his face and clutching his shoulders.

"Harry, are you alright? What happened?", she said frantically.

Hermione was there a second later, also reaching out to him and checking for injuries. Her lips were trembling, her usual logic self having been blown away.

"Gods, you are shaking!", she exclaimed, her voice higher than normal, "Are you hurt?"

Not able to speak, Harry did the only thing he could think of. Driven by the shock and the hurt he just closed his burning eyes and leaned his head onto Hermione's shoulder. Ginny's hands fell away as his best friend's arms came up and around him. Harry felt like a small boy being comforted by his elder sister.

Ron's big hand landed on his shoulder as he stepped closer from behind, the other one reaching around to caress Hermione's back soothingly.

They had been right about Riddle, it was just as they had said.

_/T/'H'_

Totally exhausted and drained of all his energy, magically and physically, Harry fell into bed, only having enough strength to draw the covers over and around him.

He felt himself slipping into sleep, but just as he was about to finally succumb to it, Riddle shifted in his mind, bringing him back to awareness as he spoke up.

_/I didn't mean it./_

'_Wha-...?'_, Harry thought sleepily, unconsciously directing it towards the other boy.

_/I said: I didn't mean it, Harry./_

With a start he was awake. His green eyes snapped open and stared unseeing into the darkness of his room.

'_Why did you say it, then?'_

_/Because I was angry at you./_, Riddle stated calmly, sounding utterly honest, _/Because I was hurt./_

'_Hurt?'_, Harry hadn't meant to make it sound so disbelievingly, but he was far too surprised.

_/Yes, hurt./,_ the other boy said sharply, _/I told you that I was not going to apologize for anything, and I also told you that that didn't make me emotionless and you accepted it. Along with my friendship. Where was that when you let your friends fill you with doubt?/_

'_B-But-'_, Harry broke off, his voice leaving him, before continuing, _'Are you just letting me that you like me?'_

_/No./, _Riddle said and Harry's heart sank, _/I'm telling you that I care about you./_

The pressure in his chest was suddenly gone and Harry was able to breath easy, his heart feeling lighter than before. Despite all this, his mind was still not quite able to grasp this.

'_B-But why?'_, he stuttered stupidly.

_/Because you are the only one who has ever let me./_, the other boy said softly_/At least that's what I thought./_

This last sentence stung and he realised that he was hurting because he just _knew_ that Riddle was too. Everything fell into place just this moment. All the questions and all the doubt vanishing right this moment.

'_I will. I do.'_

_I want you to_, Harry thought desperately, not sure if the Slytherin had heard it.

The walls that had separated them seemed to weaken and some of the other's feelings were seeping through, so Harry could feel the warmness that had flooded not only him, but the other as well.

_/Good./_, he said simply.

It was with a smile on his lips that Harry closed his eyes again. Before letting himself fall asleep, however, he said the one thing that he wanted to get off his chest finally.

'_And, Tom?'_

There was absolute silence fore a moment before the other answered.

_/Yes, Harry?/_

'_I care about you, too.'_

There was no answer, just the feeling of Tom's presence shifting closer to him. Harry's smile widened, before finally slipping into deep, peaceful sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: PG-13 (for now)

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: first of all, i want to apologize for letting you wait this long! I'M REALLY SORRY! i had much much work in school and also a writer's block just at the beginning of Chapter 8 and i kinda don't like it still, but now it's done and i wrote Chapter 9 immediately after this one and Ch 9 turned out alright.

i hope you are still with me, guys, i really do! i'm posting both chapters right now to make somewhat up for the long wait.

THANKS to my reviewers, and pls don't worry i'm not giving this story up, even when it sometimes takes me longer to update. i promise that Ch 10 will be out sooner.

pls don't forget to review! love you all!

enjoy!

p.s.: i'm REALLY sorry for the Luna thing, pls just pretend Harry talked to her in the hallway or whatever. i don't know where my mind was when i wrote that...

oh and although i do mention it quite often in the story, mind that this chapter is set one week after the last one!

* * *

The sudden painful impact with the floor woke Harry abruptly and a hoarse gasp left his lips. Tangled in the sheets to the point where he was almost unable to move, the Gryffindor let his head fall back and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm himself as he felt his stomach lurching.

It was the third night in a row that this happened. Harry had no idea why the nightmares seemed to grow more and more intense, but what he did know was, that even though he was used to them, this was just too much. There was no way he could bear this for much longer.

Feeling his stomach practically turning over inside of him, he hastily scrambled to his feet only to fall to his knees in the bathroom and empty his stomach rather violently.

When the retching finally stopped, Harry weakly pushed the flush of the toilet and sank against the tiles. Pressing one of his palms against his burning scar, he felt the cold sweat there. Although Harry wrapped his arms around himself, he was shivering from the cold and the after-effects.

Too weak to stand up, he just closed his eyes right where he was.

Warmth suddenly spread through Harry from the inside as he felt Tom move to the front of his mind and mentally wrapping himself around the Gryffindor. Harry gratefully accepted his presence and moved closer as well.

Slowly the sick feeling lessened and Harry was able to think again. In this moment he was more grateful for Tom's presence than he had ever been.

Harry finally understood what Tom had meant when the Slytherin had told him to be grateful for not being alone a bit over a week ago.

_/You can't take this any longer and I won't let you./_, Tom spoke up, moving even closer.

'_What am I supposed to do? You know that I failed at Occlumancy. There is no way for me to block Voldemort. Our connection seems to grow stronger as he power grows.'_, Harry whispered tiredly, _'I'm not even sure if he hasn't found a way to let me forget important facts of the visions I'm seeing, like the location or names of the persons involved. It wouldn't be the first time he just wants me to suffer and feed me wrong information.'_

Tom was silent for some time, as it was in his character, obviously thinking over what Harry had told him.

Harry was content not to think about anything. His head was still throbbing and his scar felt as if someone had traced the lightening shape with a knife, at least then this burning feeling would have more of a reason to hurt this much.

_/There is a way./_, the Slytherin said finally, keeping his tone soft as not to further hurt Harry.

Dragging his tattered mind back into focus, Harry tried to concentrate on what the other boy was saying. He was ready to do nearly anything to finally escape his own dreams.

'_How?'_

Harry thought he could feel Tom shift nervously, but wasn't sure if it wasn't just his imagination. Where they really that close?

_/You would have to open up to me completely./_, Tom said softly, _/It would be the only way for me to get close enough to protect you. I could wrap myself around your mind and ward off any intrusions, by using Occlumancy./_

Harry frowned, but nevertheless forced his mind to think it over.

'_But what about the fact that you drain my magic? When you cast _Protego_ the last time, you weakened me quite a bit.'_

_/Yes, because I did it without permission. If you trust me and share not only your thoughts but _yourself_ with me, then it doesn't matter if it is me or you draining your magical energy./_, Tom said slowly, _/Besides Occlumancy doesn't require magical energy or power, only a strong mind./_

Harry didn't respond. He didn't know how. He hadn't lied when he told Tom that he cared about him a week ago, but he didn't know if he was ready to open up completely to the Slytherin. He was still afraid to trust him completely, but with everyday that passed he had to admit that his feelings deepened more and more.

Harry almost feared that they could deepen too much.

Since the night where Tom had told him that he cared for him, Harry had often thought about their complex relationship when he had lain awake at night to escape his nightmares.

This often had led him to the thought that he had never been in love before. It was the first time this had actually crossed his mind. Harry had never had the time to think about trivial things as these, most of the time being spent on remaining alive and the rest focused on his studies.

This turn of events complicated things even more. Of course, why should his life be easy only once?

'_I-I have to think about this.'_

_/I understand./_, was all Tom answered.

Harry was unable to guess his mood, he was still not very skilled in reading the other boy and other than that the Slytherin didn't exactly make it very easy for him to do so. Which brought another interesting thought to his mind.

'_Tom?'_, he sounded almost careful.

_/Yes?/_

'_Would…Would that mean that you'd have to open up to me as well?'_, well that had definitely been careful.

Silence spread out between them as Harry waited for an answer. He was used to the long pauses between their conversations by now. He found that they helped him think about Tom's as well as his own words and trained him to think before he spoke.

_/I already am./_

The reply was so quiet and Harry so deep in thought that he almost didn't hear it. When his brain finally grasped it, he frowned and realised that it was true. It was, nevertheless, something entirely different to hear it from the other directly than just noticing it for himself.

'_Can…Can I ask you something?'_, Harry asked hesitatingly, unsurely.

_/You can ask me anything, Harry, I thought you already knew that. You surely never worried about that before./_, this almost sounded slightly amused.

Harry felt his stomach lurching nervously, making him feel as if he would have to throw up again. He didn't share Tom's amusement in the least.

The other boy obviously felt this and it was gone almost immediately. Moving closer to Harry, Tom's voice was gentle when he continued to speak.

_/It's alright. Just tell me what troubles you, so I can ease them as good as I can./_

Taking a deep breath, Harry decided that it was now or never. He didn't think he would bring up enough courage at a later point.

'_What exactly is this…this thing between us?'_

_/What thing?/_

Harry immediately felt stupid, regretting his decision to talk to Tom about his thoughts on this subject. His face felt awfully hot and Harry knew that he was blushing.

'_Forget it.'_

An unusual uncomfortable silence stretched out between them. Despite the fact that the Gryffindor was sure that Tom was thinking about what had been said, Harry hoped that the other boy would not want to discuss this any further.

Fighting to get to his feet, Harry finally stood shakily. Holding onto anything and everything in his reach, the small boy made his way back to his bed. He pushed the still damp sheets away irritably and sank onto the naked mattress, curling into himself he felt coldness creeping back.

_/Harry talk to me./_

'_I'm tired, Tom.'_, Harry whispered exhausted, feeling an unfamiliar weight on his chest.

_/Don't shut me out now, please./_, it was the softest Harry had ever heard Tom's voice to be.

The use of the word 'please' was another indication that Tom obviously was quite worked up over this.

'_Can we just…talk about this tomorrow?'_

_/I won't forget this./_, was all the answer he got.

A moment later he heard the distant sound of the fireplace springing back to life, after that thick woollen cover from the foot of the bed had come up to cover him.

Tom's presence wrapped around him as close as possible and with this last content feeling, Harry drifted to deep dreamless sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Inside your Mind 

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: PG-13 (for now)

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

* * *

Harry felt like death warmed over and probably looked even worse. He stumbled through his morning routine and down to breakfast.

Tom had not said a word since last night and Harry wasn't sure if he was pleased with that or not. He had, after all, spoken out some really serious issues between them, which he was sure he would have never done had he not been in such a bad shape.

There was no denying the truth in all of this now, but Harry regretted having said anything nonetheless.

Things were complicate enough, even without this confusing feelings. Why did things like these always had to happen to him? Had he not enough on his back already?

While shovelling some scrambled eggs onto his plate, Harry came to the conclusion that drowning in self-pity would not actually bring him any further in anything. So, ignoring his still slightly lurching stomach, he concentrated on eating at least three mouths full of egg without being sick again.

"Morning.", a tired voice said from opposite him.

Harry looked up and his fork froze in front of his mouth when he saw the nearly ghost white face in front of him. He hadn't known that anyone could compete with his terrible state, but obviously the youngest Weasley could.

Ginny looked as if she hadn't slept for a week, judging by the circles under her eyes. Her face was drawn and her lips tight, as if she had been thinking and worrying a lot lately.

"Are you alright, Ginny?", Harry said, frowning and lowering his fork to his plate.

The redhead answered without looking up, pouring herself some coffee.

"Fine.", was the mumbled reply as she distractedly tugged at her left sleeve.

Deciding that this was neither the time nor the place for deep conversations, Harry just nodded and dropped the subject.

He pushed the still half full plate away, giving up on eating, and drowned his cup of hot tea instead. Getting up even before having placed the mug back onto the table, Harry took his schoolbag and was about to leave when Ron and Hermione suddenly appeared in front of him.

"Harry! It's so good to see you.", Hermione exclaimed happily before her face darkened in concern, "Are you alright? You look pale."

"Yeah Harry, you look like shit man.", Ron added.

"Thanks, Ron, I really appreciate it.", Harry replied rolling his eyes, "I'm alright, don't worry."

Lowering his voice, so that only his two best friends could hear him, Harry leaned a bit closer.

"I'm actually more worried about Ginny.", he said softly, "What's wrong with her?"

Ron's face darkened considerably and his forehead formed a frown like it always did when he was worried.

"Hell if we knew.", Ron said darkly, "She doesn't speak at all to us."

It was then that Ginny decided to walk past them, a fleeting greeting everything she uttered. Ron's thin patience obviously had worn down, Harry could clearly see that by the way Ron's eyes narrowed and his hands clenched into fists.

Quicker than one would have thought, the youngest Weasley-boy grabbed his sister's arm and stopped her.

Ginny paled even more and a painful gasp escaped her lips as he frantically tried to tear her arm out of the grasp.

Ron let go of her instantly, shocked by her reaction. Harry frowned. Ron surely hadn't wanted to hurt his sister and the grip hadn't been _that_ strong.

Cradling her arm to her chest, Ginny stared at his brother for a moment, before muttering a hasty excuse and nearly running from the hall.

"I-I-I didn't…didn't want to…", Ron looked utterly helpless.

Hermione placed her hand onto his shoulder, calming the redhead somewhat. When even the girl's other hand came up to grasp Ron's arm and they looked each other in the eyes, Harry wondered if he had missed something.

A somewhat stronger lurch in his stomach made him regret eating even on bite of those eggs. He had just realised that his friends were becoming strangers to him.

_Or maybe I'm becoming a stranger to them._

By moving out of Gryffindor Tower, he had made the first step in that direction and now that Harry thought about it, since then he had not once visited his friends, had hardly talked to them at breakfast or in between classes.

His whole world had revolved only around one thing for the last weeks: Tom Riddle. Positive or negative, everything had been about Tom.

The distance between Harry and his friends grew with every day that they didn't talk in the evenings, didn't play chess or cards, didn't laugh together or even just sit together in the library to do their homework.

What hurt him most at the moment was that even his best friends counted to those people. There was something going on between them that he hadn't known, hadn't realised before this morning. How could he? He had hardly seen them for a week.

What had happened? How could the people he knew for so long, the people he trusted become so distant to him?

"Harry? Harry, are you alright?"

Torn out of his thoughts, Harry looked up, finding his best friends looking worriedly at him.

"I-I…", somehow the right words didn't come and Harry swallowed his pitiful attempts to explain himself, "Yeah. I'm…I'm fine."

"You sure mate?", Ron asked, reaching out to touch him briefly, "You never talk to us lately, you know? Is it because of…you know- ah…you know?"

_Yes Ron, it's exactly about that. Everything is about that._

"Everything's alright, guys, don't worry.", Harry said softly, "I forgot something, I'll see you in class."

And Harry fled.

_/T/'H'_

Storming back into his room, Harry closed the door and leaned against it heavily. His heart pounded in his chest and his headache had returned.

_/Harry./_

The voice was as careful as the soft caress against his mind. Was he afraid that Harry would reject him? But then again, hadn't it been just last night that he had wanted to shut him out?

Closing his eyes tightly, Harry slid down until he was sitting on the ground. This was so fucked up.

'_Tom…'_, it was almost a sob.

Instantly he felt himself being wrapped into a warm mental embrace. Harry reached out in turn, wanting to get as close as possible.

'_I'm sorry.'_

The Slytherin drew him even closer, willing Harry to calm down and relax.

_/Don't worry about that./_, Tom said soothingly, _/You don't have to worry about anything. I am beside you, I'm with you. Never forget that./_

'_I-', _Harry swallowed, forcing the words out,_ 'I want to let you in, Tom. I want you with me, beside me. I don't know if I could deal with it if you would leave me now. I…I need you.'_

_/I won't leave you./_, Tom said softly,_ /You asked me something last night and the truth is that I just didn't know how to answer to your question. I've thought of nothing else since then and all I can tell you, is that I don't know either what this is between us. I can't give you any answers, because for the first time in my life I have the feeling that I cannot answer a question. You make me feel things that I have never felt before, never knew I could feel them. You confuse me and my cold, rational way of thinking is not as cold as it used to be. All I know is that I want to be close to you, that I want to protect you. You're the first person to ever let me, the first person that actually truly cared. And-And right now, I would really like to touch you./_

Harry was shocked into silence. Was this really Tom Riddle? The same Tom Riddle that had opened the Chamber of Secrets the first time and killed a girl? The same Tom Riddle that had manipulated Ginny and had been obsessed over killing him?

But maybe this was the train of thought that most people followed when they thought about him. People who didn't know him.

Harry didn't count himself to them anymore. He had a whole knew perspective about all of this, about Tom. It seemed like everyone had failed to notice the things that had made him to who he was/is. He had grown up without any love, without any real friends.

Harry couldn't deny any longer that they were very alike. He knew now that if it hadn't been for Ron and Hermione, hadn't been for the support from Dumbledore and McGonagall, then he would have become just like the Tom Riddle that everyone thought they knew. Harry would become a boy that just followed his own interests, his own success and would do anything for that. Because if everything in your life has failed you, if you stand alone against everyone else, everything that is left to matter to you is power.

You would want power over all of those people who had never bothered to listen to you, never bothered to look beyond your exterior. You would want to show them how good you could be and afterwards crush them with your little finger.

_/So you finally understand./ _

Green eyes opened, but they didn't look lost anymore. Harry wasn't lost anymore. He finally knew what he wanted and the answer was easy and hard all at once.

He wanted Tom. Full stop. What this meant and how much this changed everything he didn't want to think about at the moment. Now he just wanted to be with him.

'_Yes, I do.'_, Harry said, voice growing firmer as he continued, _'You don't have to trouble yourself any longer. You can open up to me in turn, I promise you that I won't hurt you. And be sure that I will protect you as well, because I know that you need it even though you would never admit it. We will go through all of it together. No walls, no shields, no hiding and no unsaid words.'_

Harry waited breathlessly for Tom to answer him. Had he overstepped the line?

_/Deal./_

Every weight that had made his breathing harder suddenly disappeared and he could breathe easy.

Harry felt the beginnings of a slow smile stretching his lips.

'_And Tom?'_

_/Yes Harry?/_

'_I'd really like that.',_ Harry paused only for effect,_ '…If you would touch me.'_


	10. Chapter 10

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: here i am again with a new chapter. as promised i didn't take so long this time and gasp it is actually over 8 pages long !

THANK YOU my absolutely great reviewers, without you i'd be nothing and this story wouldn't exist!

i'm not keeping you from reading and , as always, hope you like it. i tried really hard on this one

enjoy!

* * *

"Before I dismiss you for today, I want to tell you that I've looked at your assignments, which you handed in a week ago. I'm actually sorry for the delay, but in truth I would have liked to spare myself the torture of correcting them, as all of you have failed this simple task.", here McGonagall paused, eying each student with a stern look, "Except for Miss Granger"

Several students rolled their eyes, while Hermione's chest swelled with pride, as it always did in situations like these.

"and, surprisingly, Mr Potter."

Harry's head snapped up in surprise. Had McGonagall just congratulated him for his essay? McGonagall stepped in front of his table and placed his essay in front of him, while having the rest of the pile handing out itself.

"This was excellent work, Mr Potter. I am pleased to tell you as your Head of House that you are quickly becoming a very good student this year. At the last staff meeting I was surprised to hear that you are quickly rising to the top of almost every class rather quickly. Congratulations, and please keep up the good work.", her voice was not different from her usual strict tone, but in her eyes was a light that could only be described as pride.

Harry was utterly blown away and had no idea what to say to this. He had known that his grades were improving, which was no surprise to him as Tom was helping him with his homework as well as in class.

The Slytherin had a way of understanding him that no one else ever had. When Tom explained him something, he let him first think of his own before going into detail, spreading everything out before his mental eye and making him think through it step by step.

"Th-Thank you, Professor.", Harry said out loud while at the same time addressing Tom.

'_Thank you, Tom, without you I wouldn't have made it.'_

_/Don't be an idiot, Potter. Of course you could have, but the truth is you never tried./_

Harry very well could imagine Tom folding his arms in front of his chest and had to smile slightly.

'_So this is what I get when I want to be nice to you.', he teased gently._

_Tom snorted._

_/I have not much experience with 'nice', nor do I desire it./_

'_What do you desire?'_, the question was out before Harry had the time to think about what he was saying.

Why did it always have to happen like that? Had he no brain?

The silence in his mind was a different than usual. This was not Tom's usual 'I'm thinking over what you said' silence. It was definitely a very shocked 'did you really just say that?' silence.

And Harry was losing it by the minute.

The ringing of the bell was once again a proof for his unnatural luck and Harry could not get his things together fast enough, as if fleeing from the classroom meant fleeing from Tom as well, which was absolutely ridiculous, as he knew that was impossible.

"Congratulations, Harry! I'm so proud of you!", Hermione hugged him enthusiastically and Harry could have kissed her.

Ron stood behind her, a mock displeased look on his face.

"Gods, Harry, did ya have to do that? Now I have to deal with two 'brilliant' students.", he grumbled, but Harry could see the smile in his eyes.

Hermione immediately took the bait and could not suppress the urge to chide Ron once again.

"Maybe this will finally lead to you writing some decent marks as well! You could take Harry as an example! He's not the one always depending on me to get their homework right!"

Ron rolled his eyes, looking at Harry and sharing a grin with him.

"You never help me, anyway.", he grumbled.

Hermione huffed and folded her arms in front of her chest, eyes glinting irritably.

"I _do_ help you, but you don't want help, you want to copy my work!"

Harry drowned them out, while he walked with them to lunch and was about to address Tom when he was reminded of what he had said at the end of Transfiguration.

Thinking hard about what to say, Harry almost didn't hear it when Tom spoke before him.

_/Why would you want to know that, Harry?/_

So he wanted to play, did he? Trying to turn the tables on him, but Harry was not willing to lose to Tom this time.

Obviously the Slytherin wasn't about to forget what had been said and so Harry was determined to get an answer.

'_Why would you hesitate to tell me? It's not really like you, Tom.'_

Harry could have patted himself on the shoulder for that remark. He learned fast and he knew it.

_/My, my Potter, you seem to get better at this./_, Tom practically chuckled, _/So all of my hard work isn't for nothing./_

'_Shut up, Tom.'_

_/I thought you wanted an answer?/_

Harry felt like screaming. How did Tom do that? He could be such a bastard sometimes.

'_Yes, Tom, I do want an answer.'_

_/If you still want to know tonight, ask me again./_

With that Tom drew back from the front of his mind. Harry wanted to make him stay, but suppressed the urge. The other boy needed some rest after all and if he would ward off Voldemort for him tonight, then it would surely cost him enough energy. Harry's energy. Their energy.

Argh, this was still as confusing to him as the first day he had realised that Tom was inside of his mind. He decided that concentrating on the matter at hand would be best for now. The matter at hand being lunch, that is.

_/T/'H'_

The book bag hit the floor with a loud 'thumb' as Harry threw it off his bed, his finished homework following straight after. He had finished. Finally.

Stretching out on his freshly made bed, Harry looked up at the deep red curtains of his four poster bed. How could the teachers expect him to do all this homework every night? There was no time whatsoever for himself. The only positive thing was, that he was able to keep is weekends work-free, because he worked into the night everyday and made every homework the day he got them.

'_I feel like I can't get up anymore.'_

_/Of course you are. You haven't slept properly in a week. Just get up and change and then you should try to sleep. I won't let him into your dreams tonight./_, Tom's voice was soft.

Harry just smiled slightly and got up with much effort, groaning as he felt every muscle in his body aching.

It was ten minutes later that he got back into bed, this time under the sheets, and switched off the lights. His tired eyes closed, but somehow Harry didn't feel like sleeping.

He thought about what Tom had told him before lunch.

The truth was, that Harry wanted to know. Very much. In fact he had been thinking about it the whole day…

'_Tom?'_

_/Yes, Harry?/_

Harry swallowed. He felt blood rushing to his face even before uttering the question in the first place. Gods, he was so pathetic…

'_You said that if I wanted to know, I should ask you again tonight.'_

_/Ask me what?/_, Tom was playing dumb and Harry knew it.

He was going to make him spell it out, the cheeky bastard.

'_What-'_, somehow Harry's mental voice failed him and he took a deep breath before ending the sentence in quite a rush, _'What you desire.'_

_/So I see this was on your mind the whole day./_, Tom reasoned calmly.

'_Are you avoiding my question?'_

_/I might be./_

'_But why? You've never hesitated to answer me anything.'_

_/You never asked me about myself before./_

Harry had to admit that this was true. When he thought back to their many discussions, often stretching over hours, he realised that they had never even once got too close to personal topics.

It was not lack of interest, because Harry was very much interested and his interest grew with every day that passed. The closer he got to Tom, the more he wanted to know.

'_I didn't think you'd answer. Didn't think you'd want to.'_

_/You are right, I wouldn't have./_

Harry felt as if someone had painfully squeezed his heart in his chest. He had thought that they were beyond all that. Was he wrong?

_/But I would now./_, Tom continued softly, _/The only thing that holds me back is that I'm not sure if you really want to hear the truth./_

Harry let out the breath he had been holding and calmed his clenched heart back into a normal rhythm. Out of instinct he moved closer to Tom and felt the other boy hesitantly wrapping himself around Harry.

'_Of course I want to hear the truth.'_, Harry said gently, but firmly, _'I want to know everything about you.'_

_/This is a rather dangerous route you are walking. My _mind_ is a dangerous place to be./_

'_I don't care. I want to know you, really know you. Like no one else ever has.'_

Harry felt Tom sigh. It was deep and heartfelt and something he felt for the first time.

_/Merlin Harry, if you say things like that…/_

'_Then what?'_

_/It makes me feel all warm and pathetic. It makes me want to be closer to you./, _there was a short pause and when Tom spoke on his voice was low and made Harry shiver, _/It makes me want you./_

'_I-I don't think you can get any closer, Tom.'_, even his mental voice sounded breathy.

_/I could never get close enough./_

Harry wondered when this conversation had taken such a sensual tone. If he was honest with himself, then he would admit that the question itself had not exactly been innocent.

Shifting restlessly on the bed, Harry had the sudden urge to throw off the blankets. He was feeling hotter by the second.

'_Maybe…maybe we should just change the topic…'_, Harry offered lamely.

Tom smirked mentally, the Gryffindor could feel it.

_/Why? Is this conversation making you uncomfortable?/, _the Slytherin asked in a low, smooth voice, _/Or just making you feel a little too warm?/_

Harry felt his cheeks blazing, while the rest of his blood took another direction. His lips parted and it was becoming harder to breathe by the second.

'_Tom, please…'_, not even he himself knew if he was pleading the other boy to stop, or if he wanted him to continue.

_/Please what, Harry?/_

'_I don't-'_, Harry tried to force his breathing into a normal pace, but failed miserably, _'I don't know…'_

_/I want to touch you so badly, Harry./_, Tom said hotly, followed by a mental caress as he moved even closer, _/If I could, I would hold you close now. I'd have my hands all over you…/_

Harry almost writhed on the bed, his hands closing to fists and grabbing the covers in a clawing grip as he felt the searing heat pooling in his stomach.

_/And do you know what I would like even more then that?/_

Did Tom really think he could grasp ANY thought and answer this question intelligibly?

_/I want to kiss you./_

Oh God.

Harry didn't direct this thought at Tom, but didn't doubt that the other boy had heard him, close as they were.

_/Tell me you want me, Harry./_, Tom said huskily, _/Let me feel it./_

Harry shuddered, the grip on the sheets tightening even more. What was Tom doing to him?

_'I-I want you...',_ he almost panted, _'I want you to touch me...and I want you to kiss me.'_

_/Oh, I would kiss you. I would kiss you and wouldn't stop before I had you begging and writhing against me. Just as you are now./_

Harry was so aroused that he was sure a cold shower wouldn't do it for him this time, especially not with Tom whispering things like these inside his head.

How could he become so turned on by just his voice? Harry almost snorted when he thought about people claiming that Tom Riddle had a way with words.

_'I-I can't anymore...'_, Harry whimpered helplessly, _'Tom...'_

_/Shhh, it's alright, Harry, everything's alright, just give in./_, the other boy soothed him gently, _/Give in and touch yourself./_

Harry was so far gone, that embarrassment was all but forgotten. His right hand slid down his body and between his legs, a low moan escaping him in the process.

Immediately his teeth sank into his lower lip to keep any other sounds of pleasure inside. He had never been one to make much noise, not because he didn't want to, but because his environment did not allow it.

When Harry writhed slightly and pushed his hips upwards, the covers tangled even more around him, feeling suddenly rough against his hot skin and erect nipples. In all his 16 years Harry had never felt this aroused before.

His left hand clawed into the sheets as his right one squeezed the base of his cock before sliding upwards in a smooth motion. Harry could already feel the slickness of the tip and knew that he wouldn't last long.

He was trembling, his back arching and mentally reaching out for Tom, even though the other boy was already as close as possible.

_/Yes, that's it, love./_, the low voice echoed through his mind erotically, involuntarily making Harry's hand move faster.

It had been far too long since he'd last done this to be patient and Tom was turning him on too much.

It was all too much…

Everything was just heat and wet, hot flesh and frantically pushing hips and nails tearing at sheets and Tom's hot whispers in his mind urging him on, telling him yes yes, just like that and now come, come…

_/…come for me, Harry, come for me now…/_

And Harry did, hard and fast and hot so hot…too hot…he was burning, burning from the inside out and being silent had been forgotten, because his lips had parted, yes yes…

'…_yes, Tom, yes…!'_

_/T/'H'_

The room was dark and Harry's now calm breathe the only sound. It had only been a few minutes ago that Harry had recovered. He had found that Tom had cast a cleaning spell and willed the now clean blankets to cover him.

Turning to the side, Harry snuggled deeper into the sheets. He felt his face already beginning to heat up in embarrassment when his mind wandered back to what he had just done.

_/I think it's a bit late for second thoughts, don't you, Harry?/_

The Gryffindor jumped upon hearing Tom's slightly bemused voice. He shivered when he thought about what this very same voice had done to him not long ago.

'_Ah…hi, Tom…'_

Hi Tom? HI TOM? What the hell was that supposed to mean???

_/So, tell me Harry, did you enjoy it?/_, the smirk was evident.

'_I believed you were smarter than that, Riddle.'_, Harry was not about to let himself be teased.

_/Touché./_, Tom all but chuckled.

'_Two can play this game, Tom.'_

Harry felt self-conscious. He would not let the Slytherin have his way in this.

_/I'm sure that this is not that only game you want to play with me, Harry./_, this could only be defined as smug.

Damn him! How did he _do_ that? Was he never going to be able to get back at the other boy even once?

Harry decided that he'd had enough action for this night. His annoyance was already gone again and he snuggled into Tom instead. The older boy didn't say anything and moved closer as well.

Silence fell and Harry felt himself slowly drifting off to sleep. Nevertheless some small part of him kept on nagging that they hadn't talked about what had actually happened and how this would change their relationship.

_/Harry?/_

Said boy was startled out of his sleepy musings.

'_Yes?'_

Harry felt something akin to a quiver run through Tom. Concerned he shifted and moved closer still, as much as this was possible anyway.

_/I-I don't know anything about love, because I have never experienced it before. I have no idea what it feels like, I never _cared_ about any of that. I always thought it made you weak. I always thought that emotions are weakness, but I'm not so sure about that anymore…/_, Tom's voice was unusually soft and somewhat unsure.

Woah, were the hell had that come from?

'_What are you telling me, Tom?'_, Harry asked quizzically.

He wasn't so sure that he was up to this conversation at the moment. Nearly asleep and with a brain that had turned to mush it was not really easy.

Harry forced himself to concentrate.

_/I want to tell you that I finally understood that love is called love for a reason. That maybe all the fools having written poetry and books about it, did have a point./_, Tom paused shortly, obviously thinking over his next words, _/I may never have known love, but if I would have to give my feelings for you a name, then this is probably the term that would fit best. I want to find out what love is, Harry. I want to find it out with you./_

Warmth suddenly spread through him and Harry felt as if he would melt into a puddle just then and there. This was simply overwhelming. Never had Harry thought that Tom could ever have feelings like this, least of all for him.

'_Tom-'_, he wanted to say so much, wanted to ask him thousands of questions, but Tom interrupted him immediately.

_/No, please Harry, let me finish. I don't think that anything has ever been harder to say then this./_, the Slytherin took a deep breath, forcing his next words out before, it seemed, he lost his nerve,_ /I know that we are in a strange position and that this will surely complicate things all the more, but…but I really want to do this, Harry. Will you help me? Help me find out?/_

The warmth turned into an all right pleasant tingle. His heart beat faster and his lips stretched into a smile. Was this really how love felt like?

'_I want to find out too, Tom.'_, he whispered,_ 'We'll do this together. We're _in_ this together.'_

Closing his eyes finally, Harry wished for nothing more than for Tom to hold him. He ached for physical contact, especially after what had happened between them earlier.

Wasn't there any way for Tom to leave his mind? But then again, he didn't even want Tom out of his mind anymore. At the moment he felt as if he would never want him to leave again.

_/Stop thinking so much and go to sleep, Harry./_, Tom said gently,_ /I'm watching over you tonight. Be at ease./_

This was all it took for Harry to finally succumb to sleep. He needed rest so very badly that he was sure he would have collapsed the other day, if it would have been denied him for another night.

A way with words indeed…


	11. Chapter 11

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: PG -13

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: THANKS for all the reviews, guys, i'm so happy you like it, pls keep it up! honestly, i'm very very happy about ervery single one, as small as it may be!

i do have to say that i'm really unsatisfied with how this chapter turned out...i actually had another very bad writers block and deleted the whole previous Ch 11 to write it anew...well it is better then my last attempt, but still not very good, but i didn't want to keep you waiting any longer, so i just thought 'to hell with it' and am postng it now.

i promise that the next one will be better than this one! pls forgive me this once.

enjoy!

* * *

The first thing that Harry realised when he woke up, was that he had left the curtains open last night, which resulted in letting a stray beam of sunlight waking him from his deep slumber.

Turning over, he grumbled in annoyance. Finally Harry had gotten his long needed rest and felt better than he had in weeks.

The sudden heat that flared in his cheeks, however, had nothing to do with the sunlight, but with the remembrance of last night's events.

The Gryffindor instantly sought out Tom's presence, but discovered him asleep in the back of his mind.

Disappointment filled him, followed by the fierce need for the other boy.

Immediately Harry chided himself for his selfishness. If Tom had looked over him all night, he was surely beyond exhausted. He wondered if Voldemort had found out about it already.

Harry's mood immediately darkened when he thought about Voldemort's spy inside of Hogwarts. He could not imagine any of his friends falling for that psychopath.

Another reason more to continue the DA, not to mention that he could keep an eye on all of his friends that way.

Woah, where had that thought come from? Tom was obviously rubbing off on him. Since when had he started to distrust his friends?

On the other hand, life thought him that trust was something he had to be very careful with. How many times had he payed for putting trust in someone who had afterwards betrayed him?

Sighing, Harry opened his eyes and gave up falling back asleep. His mind was far too much awake for that, as it seemed.

He was about to make his way to the bathroom, when he heard a knock on his door. Frowning, Harry tried to smoothen his more-than-usual-rumpled hair and grabbed his glassed with the other.

Dragging his hand from his hair, the Gryffindor answered the door, coming face to face with the blurry form of his two best friends.

"Oh, hey guys.", he said while letting the world come into focus by sliding his glassed up his nose.

"Harry, we were worried!", Hermione said pushing past him into the room.

Ron followed her inside and let himself fall onto the big soft couch by the fireplace, with his feet over the side of the armrest.

"Yeah, mate, it's nearly afternoon.", the redhead said, obviously less concerned than his bushy companion.

"Really?", Harry asked stupidly, glancing outside his big window.

By the light outside, Harry had to admit that Ron had to be right. Rubbing over his scar absentmindedly, the raven-haired boy sat on the other sofa opposite of Ron.

Hermione followed suit, and placed something in front of him that he hadn't noticed before.

"I brought you some food.", Hermione answered his unasked question, "You must be starving."

The grumbling of his stomach was answer enough and Harry picked up the plate and fork, that had been placed beside it.

"Thanks."

"You are welcome.", she replied, "Now, tell us Harry, are you alright? Do you have trouble sleeping again?"

Harry swallowed, while thinking what best to tell his friends. Somehow he found it hard to concentrate on his best friends, his thoughts constantly turning back to Tom. How was it even possible to miss someone that was inside of him? He was finally going crazy, he just knew it.

"Ah, no, no, I'm fine.", Harry said, "I slept absolutely fabulous for a change."

Hermione smiled, but Ron didn't seem all too happy.

"What about that git?", he asked abruptly.

Harry turned his attention to Ron. He had known that the other Gryffindor would not let him be about that.

Sighing he looked over at the other boy. This was so not going to be pleasant.

"What about him, Ron?"

Icy blue eyes rolled upwards in irritation and the lanky from of his best friend shifted into a proper sitting position.

"Are you completely nuts, Harry?", he stated losing his temper already, "There is a _murderer_ inside your head!"

Harry's eyes flashed angrily as he put his food aside. He was ready to spring to Tom's defence, when he remembered who he was talking to and swallowed his instinctive reply.

"I thought we had already discussed this?", he retorted instead calmly, "I have to deal with that on my own, Ron."

"But you don't even _try_ to find a way to get rid of him!", the redhead's voice was rising.

"Ron, please.", Hermione hissed, "We talked about this!"

Oh, just great. So they had talked about this? How lovely.

Harry stood up, his good mood almost completely gone. He tried to keep his cool and turned back towards them.

"So you talked about this?"

"Harry, please, we are worried.", Hermione tried to be the sound of reason once again.

Taking a deep breath, Harry tamed his vicious tongue. There was no reason to fight with his friends.

"Look, I know that you are worried, but you just cannot help me this time, alright?"

Ron opened his mouth, but one sharp look of Hermione's dark eyes let it snap back shut. It was with a much softer expression that he addressed Harry.

"We know that, Harry, but we want to do at least something.", she said gently, "We want to be there for you as we always have been. So if you need any help with research, or just someone to talk to, we are still your best friends."

Harry's temper evened out for good and he smiled gratefully at the girl.

"I know, Hermione, thank you."

"Alright, we will leave you to get dressed then.", she said standing up, "Is there anything we can do for you?"

Harry opened his mouth to decline the offer, but changed his mind the last moment.

"Actually, there is…", he said slowly, "Could you tell the members of the DA that the next meeting will be Monday evening. Usual time, usual place."

Hermione's eyes lit up and a smile stretched her lips as her hands gripped his arm in excitement.

"So you finally have decided to continue with the DA!", she exclaimed happily, "Of course we'll tell them!"

Harry just smiled, but his eyes darkened when he looked over to his other best friend. Somehow Ron never seemed to understand him. The longer they knew each other, the harder it was for the redhead to understand him. Harry almost felt as if they were growing apart steadily.

With Hermione, on the other hand, he was getting closer and closer. If he should ever tell anyone about Tom, Hermione would surely be the first person he'd talk to.

"Come on, Ron, let's go.", she said, tearing Harry out of his thoughts and grabbing the tall boy's arm, "See you at dinner, Harry."

Ron looked away and let himself be dragged along. Harry felt his chest tighten. What had become of them?

_/T/'H'_

It was only a while later, that Harry made his way to the library having remembered a book he hadn't given back yet. Madame Pince would have his head.

Entering the library, he rounded a bookshelf to his right and nearly crashed into two persons that were just now springing apart, almost guiltily.

Harry frowned and looked from one girl to the other. They had either been embracing or fighting. Harry could not think of any reason they could have had for either.

"H-Harry.", Ginny almost gasped, seeming almost out of breath.

"Hello Harry.", Luna was far more collected, but now that Harry looked closer he could see a angry scratch across her cheek and another one on her neck, bleeding on her white school-blouse.

The Gryffindor's frown deepened. What the hell was going on?

"Hi.", he said rather slowly, "Are you alright? Did something happen?"

Luna's pale eyes were unreadable when she turned slightly, trying to hide the bleeding scratch on her neck. Nevertheless she smiled slightly at him, looking as unconcerned as ever.

Ginny on the other hand was shaking, hiding her hands in the folds of her robe. Although she managed for her expression to look calm, Harry could see the cold sweat on her brow.

"No-No, we were just-", Ginny winced, a motion which nearly slipped the green-eyed boy's notice, "just discussion the DA."

The lie was so obvious that Harry nearly snorted. He decided to play along, however, as it was clear that none of them would tell him what had really happened.

Luna's smile didn't falter, reaching up with her hand discretely to make her long blonde tresses conceal the blood and her stained blouse.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go now.", she said in her quiet voice, "I still have homework. Ginny, till tonight."

When the other girl had vanished, some of her colour seemed to return to Ginny's face, although it was far from her usual appearance. She managed a smile as she turned towards Harry.

"It's really great that you'll continue with the DA.", she said happily, every trace of her former discomfort gone except for her paleness.

Harry leaned against the bookshelf to his left, looking intently at the girl in front of him.

"Ginny?", he asked calmly.

"Yes?", perfectly innocent.

"Do you think I'm stupid?", the undertone was firm and he could see Ginny cringe.

She smiled nervously at him, straightening her robe in order to busy her hands and reached for her discarded book bag.

"Of course not.", she said, as if Harry had asked the most ridiculous thing in the world.

The raven-haired boy straightened lazily and slowly took a step towards the small girl, then another.

A suppressed sound escaped her lips and she all but sprung back, pressing her back against the bookshelf behind her. Ginny's eyes were wide and her breath laboured.

Harry frowned, reaching over to touch her arm gently.

"Ginny?", he said softly, trying to sooth the trembling redhead, "What is it?"

"You-You…", she trailed off, clutching her bag almost desperately.

"Yes?", he was honestly confused.

He had wanted nothing else then to sooth her and help her. Ginny had never been scared of him before, actually it had been her that had always sought him out and told him if she needed help or if her brothers were being 'assholes'.

"Tom Riddle.", was everything she said, slightly more calm but still looking at him with big frightened eyes.

"What?"

What the hell? Harry hadn't told anyone except Ron and Hermione about Tom. How the hell had she found out?

"You just looked exactly like him, Harry."

Harry took a step back in surprise as Ginny rubbed over her tired face. An exhausted smile found it's way to her lips.

"I'm sorry, Harry, that sounded ridiculous.", she said only a second later, "It's just me being silly. I have to get some sleep. I'm sorry, Harry."

"I-It's okay.", the Gryffindor stammered, rather unsmooth.

With one last tired smiled, Ginny turned and almost ran from the library.

Harry looked after her until she was out of sight and almost fell against the bookshelf behind him. Not caring about the sharp edges of the wood digging into his back, Harry slid down to sit on the ground.

Tom's presence was suddenly all around him, soothing him. Closing his eyes, Harry let it happen, moving closer. The warmth that enfolded him felt so good. _Tom_ felt so good. He had needed this so bad since he had woken up.

Harry had never needed anything this badly before, had never been this dependant on anything, but now that he had found Tom he felt as though he could not live without him. If he weren't so much in love, Harry would think of it as pathetic and dangerous. As it was, however, he just didn't care for once.

If this was giving in to sin, then Harry had to admit he was on the highway to hell -and not giving a fuck.

_/Harry…/_

Tom's voice was soft.

"Harry…"

This time it sounded more solid, not so much in his mind as in his ears. Harry's eyes snapped open and a gentle hand was placed onto his shoulder. Immediately his gaze shifted over to his right and met eyes that were the same intense shade of green as his own.


	12. Chapter 12

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: so guys, here it is the long awaited Ch 12! long awaited, because i left you with the crulest cliffhanger ever, sorry but i just couldn't resist -evilTomsmirk-.

i have good news for you, even though you hated me for the cliffahanger in the last chapter, you'll love me all the more for the contens of this one, i just know it!

THANKS once again to ALL of my reviewers, i could NEVER say that often enough! love you lots!

now, i won't keep you from the action any longer

enjoy!

p.s.: the _-H-T- _indicates a flashback

* * *

Hot water cascaded over Harry and he titled his head up to let it run over his face, making his head connect with the tiled wall behind him. 

The tiles were smooth and cold against his aching back, soothing the pain somewhat and being a sharp contrast to the almost burning water on his chest.

He had yet to look into the bathroom mirror to know how his back looked like, but judging by how much it hurt, probably very red and very bruised.

Heat pooled in his stomach that had nothing to do with the hot water, as he thought back to how he'd actually gotten it in this condition.

_-H-T-_

_Completely surprised Harry flinched back from the touch and sprang to his feet, staring into the eyes so similar to his own. The other rose slowly, taller by at least 5 inches. _

_Harry's heart hammered in his chest and his lips parted to say something, but he had no idea what, so he licked over them instead._

_The green eyes of the other dropped to Harry's lips and followed the movement of his tongue, before looking back up with a burning gaze._

"_Tom…", Harry breathed, thinking that if his heartbeat would quicken some more, he'd die of a heart attack._

_And a moment later Harry didn't care, because Tom's lips were on his. First cold, them warming up until they nearly seared his own._

_The Gryffindor's eyes closed and he gasped as their mouth slid smoothly, almost desperately against each other, instinctively reaching out for something to hold on to. His fingers got caught in Tom's hair and as he gripped it almost too tight, Harry thought about how much softer it was than his own._

_Slick hot wetness slid over his lips, into his mouth and Harry felt his knees buckling under him despite every muscle tensing in his body, straining to get closer to Tom's. Almost immediately strong hands gripped his hips and slammed him back against the bookshelf behind them, the same time that the Slytherin's tongue slid against his erotically, making Harry's clouded mind think of other places it could be._

_Harry moaned, nearly delirious in both pleasure and pain, assaulted with Tom's tongue on one hand and feeling every one of the sharp edges of the bookshelf digging into his back on the other._

_Despite trying his best, the Gryffindor knew that he was not really doing this very good, even biting Tom's bottom lip accidentally, but obviously the other boy didn't care as he gripped Harry's hips even tighter and pressed him bodily back into the shelf and-_

Ohgodsogoodsogood…

_Lungs screaming for oxygen, Harry didn't think it would be possible for him to utter even another gasp, but found himself almost crying out as Tom pushed their hips together in one feverish shove and suddenly it was even hotter and his hips jerked forward instinctively to shove back and get more_

-moremoremore

_More of Tom's lips, of Tom's tongue, of Tom's hands that, _ohgod_, had slid down to his arse to get him even closer_

-closercloser pleasemore -

'More, Tom, please…Tom…'

_His mind was telling what his lips were no longer able to, because they were still being devoured desperately - feverishly - and they would be swollen and Harry could taste the blood from when he had bitten Tom, the metallic taste making everything even more intense, but he needed to breathe, because he was near suffocation, air air…_

_And as if Tom had felt it, the other's mouth was suddenly gone and Harry wanted to protest, but was gasping and moaning instead – fingers gripping, clawing, tearing at the hair that had the same colour as his own - and then Tom's lips were back on his skin – licking, biting, _sucking_ his neck- and Harry knew that this was his end-_

_Tom was trembling against him – gripping tighter, shoving harder,-_ harderjustlikethat yesyes, – _and he could hear his smooth voice in his mind, deep and raspy with desire, whispering his name over and over and Harry threw his head back, pain exploding in his head as it connected with the sharp edge of the shelf, just the same time as his world exploded, and Harry didn't care for his head, didn't care for anything, just for Tom and the way he was muffling his gasps in Harry's neck and him moaning his name inside his mind like a mantra…_

/Harry, yes, Harry, Harry…/

_-H-T-_

Breathing hard, Harry angrily turned the hot water tap off, clenching his jaw as an icy fountain hit him instead before turning it off altogether. This was neither the time nor the place to think of that.

Stumbling out of the shower with his limbs feeling slightly numb, Harry grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself, trying to get his muscles to unfreeze.

At least the cold water had helped to clear his head. Towelling off, Harry avoided looking at the mirror and winced when he tried to run the towel over his back as gentle as possible.

Suddenly angry, Harry threw it aside in an abrupt gesture. What was Tom thinking?! He hadn't talked to him even once since he had woken up alone in his own bed half an hour ago, cleaned up and utterly confused.

If it weren't for all the bruised, Harry would believe that it had all been a dream!

Stomping from the bathroom, the Gryffindor opened the doors of his dresser to drag out fresh boxers and pyjamas.

When having dressed from the waist down, Harry turned around and came face to face with the object of his anger.

Tom's expression was unreadable as he took a step towards him.

The shirt belonging to the pyjama-pants slid from Harry's grasp and he took a step back in surprise, his back hitting the dresser, making him flinch in pain.

The Slytherin's expression softened and he took another step towards him. He looked just like in Harry's second year when they had met for the first time in the Chamber of Secrets, only his eyes seemed to have changed. They seemed warmer and…deeper than four years ago.

Tom reached out and traced a bruise on Harry's ribs.

"I'm sorry.", the voice was the same that he had always heard inside his mind, but it was so strange to actually hear it spoken out loud.

It took Harry a moment to grasp what the other boy had said. His brows furrowed and he looked up at Tom in confusion and also hurt.

"Sorry?"

_Sorry for what happened between us? Sorry for being with me?_

Tom's lips twitched slightly, obviously bemused, and his eyes softened even more as he took another step closer, leaning into Harry. His hands were cool when they connected with the Gryffindor's warm skin, one sliding up to his face, the other around his waist.

"No, you idiot.", Tom's breath was hot against his ear, making Harry shiver involuntarily, all of his anger long forgotten.

The smaller boy moved closer instinctively, seeking more contact, and his hands rose to come and rest on the taller boy's chest.

Tom was wearing the same Hogwarts school-uniform as he had in the Chamber.

Harry was familiar with the quite expensive material of the shirt and absentmindedly smoothened out the wrinkles, by running his hands up and down the other boy's chest, feeling it heating up under his fingers and was sure that he could feel the other's heartbeat quicken slightly.

Tom kissed the spot under his ear gently, even his breath was hotter than before, and Harry titled his head to the side to give the Slytherin more access.

"I'm sorry for having been so rough.", the taller boy said softly, picking up the previous stream of conversation, and drawing back slightly to look Harry deeply in the eyes, "I promise I'll be more gentle next time."

As the Slytherin lowered his head to claim a gentle kiss, Harry could care less about his bruised, because although it was just a pressing of soft cool lips against his, the Gryffindor felt as if he would melt any minute.

Tom drew back slightly and Harry whimpered in protest, following Tom's lips as the other wanted to bring some distance between them.

Desperate that Tom could simply vanish as suddenly as he had appeared, Harry's arms slid up and around the other boy's neck, raising up on the tip of his toes to being able to reach Tom's lips better as he pressed his own back on them.

Harry was sure that he still was no master of kissing and that he'd probably never be as skilled as Tom was, but by the way the other boy gasped as Harry ran his tongue clumsily over the Slytherin's bottom lip and tightened his arms around him to draw him tighter against his body, Harry figured that he was probably doing something right.

Tom bent down slightly, to make it easier for Harry to reach him, parting his lips willingly to the Gryffindor's unexperienced tongue.

This kiss was much slower than the first few they had shared. There was not this burning frenzy and so Harry had much more time to actually concentrate on Tom's mouth, not busy striving for release and trying to cope with a whole bunch of new overwhelming feelings all at once.

Harry was getting used to the slow, loving way their lips kept grinding and sliding against each other and so when Tom suddenly sucked on his tongue, Harry's knees nearly buckled and a moan forced it's way out of his throat.

"Gods, Harry, you drive me crazy.", Tom breathed hotly, "Especially when you make sounds like that."

Harry pressed even closer and became distantly aware of the fact that Tom's skin had finally warmed up.

_Thank god._

_/It's all because of you./_, Harry didn't know if he preferred Tom's voice in his ear or in his mind/_Only you had the power to make me live and it was you that brought me here./_

It was with great difficulty that Harry managed to finally draw back from Tom's tempting lips. They could not continue, before they hadn't discussed this.

This being why Tom was suddenly able to materialise out of nowhere.

Breathing heavily, Harry let his arms drop away and took a step back, trying to get himself back under control as he watched Tom doing the same as the Slytherin ran a hand through his mussed up hair, trying to bring it back into it's usual perfect form. Harry knew that he had once again brought it in this disarray.

"Tom.", he took deep breath, "We have to talk."

Once again Tom's lips quirked up and amusement lit up his emerald eyes.

"I know.", he drawled, "I did want to, before you decided on something…else."

Harry felt his face heating up and looked away, brushing past Tom to get his shirt off the floor and put it on.

"Let me help you with that.", Tom said as he reached for the buttons on Harry's shirt, "Although I would much rather like to help you take it off again, instead."

Harry's blush deepened. This boy was driving him mad!

"And you know you love it.", once again the smaller boy had forgotten that Tom, although standing in front of him, was still very much present inside his head.

He wanted to retort something, irritated, but forgot what he wanted to say as Tom cupped his cheek gently and looked at him with _that_ gaze.

Harry noted that once again Tom's hands were as cold as they had been when he had first touched him.

Reaching up, the Gryffindor covered the hand on his face with his own, feeling it warm instantly under his touch. He cast concerned eyes upwards at the Slytherin and Tom, sensing it, drew him nearer and bent down to kiss him chastely.

"You're so cold, Tom.", Harry mumbled, touching the other's cold face with the hand that wasn't resting on Tom's.

"I know.", he said softly, "But only if you aren't touching me."

"But why?"

"Because I'm still jut a memory, Harry.", Tom said gently, "A memory that has come alive, but a memory nonetheless."

This hit Harry harder then it should have had. He knew this, after all. Nevertheless, he had wanted to forgot any problems they might have had and just live in this dream of the two of them together in peace.

Harry forced himself to smile and moved closer again, tracing a finger over Tom's cheekbone.

"I don't care. Not really.", it wasn't a lie, "At least I can touch you now."

Tom leaned down to place his forehead against Harry's, wrapping his other arm around his thin frame to draw him against his body.

"Yes, that you can."

"But, Tom, how?", Harry confusion clear in his voice, "I still don't understand…"

Tom drew back the hand that had been placed on Harry's face and grabbed the one atop it in a gentle, but firm hold, leading it to his body and pressing it to his chest, so Harry could feel the solid heartbeat under his fingers.

"Do you feel that, Harry?"

"Yes."

"It's only your love that keeps me solid and breathing. If you wouldn't have given it to me, if you'd have kept hating me, then I would still be nothing more than the shadow of a memory trapped inside of your mind.", Tom explained gently, holding him tight, "You see, it's like in your second year, I explained it to you then. Ginny poured all of her devotion and desperation into my diary, into me. She gave me the strength to become a solid form."

"But-But she nearly died.", Harry was absolutely overwhelmed and his reply nearly breathless, shaky.

"Of course she did. She didn't matter to me, Harry. I took from her whatever she wanted to give me. First it was devotion, then it was hate. I didn't care in what form she gave me her emotions, I just wanted to get out. But even when I finally did, I was still bound to the diary, not her. That is the only reason you were able to defeat me in the first place.", there was no reproach in Tom's voice, "With us it's entirely different, Harry, because you love me", the Slytherin caressed him gently, "and I love you as well. We are bound together, not only in mind, but also by our feelings. You could never grow weak by giving me strength, because _you_ are my strength and we share everything."

Harry felt his eyes burning suspiciously, but couldn't care less about showing his weakness. Tom owned him already, he had nothing more to hide. More so now that he was flooded with Tom's emotions, every wall ever having existed between them simply gone.

"So you see.", Tom continued with a slightly hoarse voice, "As long as you love me, I can exist outside your mind as well. It is only because you gave me your heart, that you can hear one beating in my chest."

This finally broke Harry's last resolves and the tears that had burned to mercilessly in his eyes finally spilled over. Their way was not long, however, because they didn't even run half the way down his cheeks, before they were kissed away by Tom's now hot lips.

And when Tom held Harry tightly to his body, while burying his face into the Gryffindor's neck a moment later, Harry pressed his ear against the other boy's chest, wet eyes closed, and was sure that he had never heard anything more beautiful than the solid beat that was in synch with his own heart.


	13. Chapter 13

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hi guys, here i am again. i'm sorry for not updating sooner, but this chapter actually had a mind of it's own and grew to be a monster . half of what's in it was not intended, but i think it turned out quite okay anyway, better than i thought actually. it's the longest chapter till now and so forgive me for not updating on sunday already.

the plot starts to thicken and thicken, we haven't even reached the middle acutally...i have NO idea how long this story will get, but really hope you'll stay with me till the bitter end .

THANKS to all my reviewers, as always! i love you, pls pls pls keep it up, you are what keeps me going! i just LOVE reading reviews and without them my inspiration fails.

so, for now

enjoy!

* * *

"Look, Malfoy isn't at the Slytherin table.", leave it to Ron to be checking on his archenemy first thing in the morning. 

"It's Sunday, maybe he's sleeping in.", Harry said casually, reaching for the Daily Prophet that Hermione was just handing him over their plates full of toast and beacon.

Ron, however, was not that easily brought off his favourite topic. Both Harry and Hermione knew how the youngest Weasley-boy could talk endlessly about Draco Malfoy. Not to mention that he always commented on everything the other boy did, in the hopes of being able to use it against him someday. This surely was hatred in its purest form.

Harry, and Hermione as well for that matter, didn't actually _hate_ Malfoy. Yes, of course they disliked him like no other, but hate really was too strong a word. Especially Harry knew that his feelings towards Malfoy were not thus, as he knew what real hate meant.

It was, therefore, with very little interest that they listened to Ron ramble on about the Slytherin.

"No, Malfoy never sleeps in.", he stated firmly, "The git has never missed even one single meal. There must be something wrong. He's probably planning something…Or maybe his father has called him home, which would be-…"

This was exactly how far Harry listened, before he concentrated on the newspaper in front of him. Scanning the pages quickly, he decided that nothing had changed.

Crap over crap.

Honestly, was this still allowed to be called the most popular newspaper of Britain's wizarding world? Even the Quibbler had more potential then this!

Harry would have liked to talk about this to Tom, but the other boy was resting further back in his mind, having been up all night again to ward Harry's nightmares off.

"There are still no reports about Voldemort.", he directed it at Hermione instead.

"I know.", Hermione said, sighing and taking a sip from her tea, "And until Fudge isn't replaced, then there surely will be no improvement."

"Probably.", Harry threw the paper on the table, annoyed, "It's no wonder that Voldemort has such great chances to win this war, if there are so many people who purposefully ignore what's in front of their idiotic faces!"

"At least we can count on Dumbledore.", Hermione said confidently.

Harry didn't reply to that. It was not that he didn't trust in Dumbledore, but the headmaster was only human too and Harry wasn't sure for how long the old wizard was going to withstand all of the pressure that lay on his shoulders. As it was now, Dumbledore, leading Hogwarts behind, was standing against the rest of the world...

_/T/'H'_

If it hadn't been for the slight reflection from Ginny's red hair, Harry was sure that he wouldn't have noticed her as she took the steps down into the dungeons.

Turning around fully, Harry frowned and watched the youngest Weasley vanish. Why would Ginny want to go down there? She didn't have any friends in Slytherin, and Snape was, as everyone else, at breakfast.

On the other hand, it was Sunday morning, so no one would be around for at least another hour. Maybe this was what she had aimed for.

Harry weighed his options carefully, but obviously just turning back around and going back to his room was not it.

His curiosity once again getting the better of him, Harry carefully followed the youngest Weasley. Ginny was obviously far too concentrated on her final destination to notice anything else around her.

They walked down the main corridor of the dungeons and finally Ginny stopped. Harry immediately ducked into the shadows and watched the red haired girl drawing her wand.

The girl's thin frame was covering what she actually did, but it was not long and the door Harry had just now even realized was there, opened soundlessly.

It hit Harry like a brick.

Snape's quarters?! Ginny was actually breaking into Snape's private quarters?! Was she suicidal?

The heavy wooden door closed silently behind her, but fell not completely shut. Harry pondered for a moment if he should just walk in there and ask her what the hell she had been thinking, but then decided against it. He crept closer to the door, feeling like a thief, but wanting to get a glimpse of what the younger girl was actually doing in there.

If she had wanted ingredients, she would have broken into his personal cupboard in the Potion's classroom. So she was either looking for a potion, or for some important document.

But why Snape of all people?

When Ginny still hadn't emerged 15 minutes later, Harry was beginning to grow nervous. Snape was not that much of an eater in the morning, nor was he particularly fond of company. Meaning, the Potion's Master could be back any minute.

After another 5 minutes, Harry couldn't wait any longer. Ginny would be caught if he didn't drag her out this moment.

Reaching out with his hand, Harry purposefully avoided the doorknob. Knowing Snape it was surely cursed, turning your hand into something disgusting if touched.

It opened as soundlessly as it had before and Harry peered inside carefully. Nothing looked out of order, everything was in it's place and the whole room was surprisingly clean.

Not surprisingly, all colours were kept dark, preferably green and black. The first room was an office combined with a sitting room. To his right two big couches stood in front of the fireplace as well as an armchair. There were even rugs on the floor. On the left hand side was a big bookshelf, a big desk with a matching leather swivel chair and another very uncomfortable looking wooden chair.

Not what he had expected at all, to say the least.

The other thing that he hadn't suspected, however, was that Ginny was nowhere to be seen.

Frowning Harry looked more closely and discovered another door on the far right, beside the fireplace, that probably led into Snape's bedroom. Ginny wouldn't have-...

Or would she?

Stepping inside slowly, the Gryffindor saw that the door he had been looking at so intently was indeed not properly closed.

Harry froze on the spot. What should he do?

Yes, true, it was not the first time that he did something against the rules, but fucking over Filch was one thing - breaking into Snape's private quarters a whole different matter.

Harry decided that standing longer in the middle of the Potions Master's office was even more stupid, so he gave into his growing curiosity and closed the distance to the door in a few quick strides. There he hesitated only another moment before pushing the door open.

It was just as neat as the office, looking just like Snape had probably left it. The door to the bathroom was open as well, but as hard as Harry looked, Ginny just wasn't there.

"That's impossible!", the words left his mouth in a surprised whisper.

How could Ginny just vanish like that?! He had seen her entering and stood beside the only exit the whole time. She just couldn't have left without him noticing!

But obviously she had.

Harry's hands clenched into fists. He was angry with himself for being this stupid. Just as stupid as Ginny had been when breaking into the office in the first place.

Or maybe, she hadn't been as stupid, considering the fact that she was someplace else and Harry was still inside his teacher's rooms.

He had to get out as quickly as possible. Snape could be back any minute.

"Mr Potter."

Harry nearly jumped from his skin. His heart beat frantically and his clenched fists began to feel slick with sweat. He hadn't even turned around, more terrified by Snape than he had ever remembered to be.

This time there were no excuses. What could he say? No one would believe the truth, least of all Snape. He knew how hard the man always looked to find something to make his life even harder.

"Would you care to tell me what the hell you are doing inside my private quarters?", the Potions Master's voice was low and dangerous.

If Harry had ever been sure that Snape would finally snap and kill him, it was now.

Swallowing, Harry tried to calm himself and look as innocent as possible. He had to be VERY careful not to irritate Snape any further. Could he get expelled for this?

Turning around slowly, Harry couldn't stop himself from cringing under the Professor's angry black stare.

"Well, Potter, how will you try to safe your imprudent self this time, hm?", Harry could almost feel the sadistic pleasure radiating off the tall man.

Snape's lips were not as pale as usual, because for once they weren't pressed together in disdain, but slightly turned upwards at one corner, underlining how much the Potions Master was enjoying this.

Harry couldn't think of anything to defend himself that didn't sound ridiculous. Excuses in the direction of: 'It's not what it seems like' or 'I didn't REALLY break into your quarters, Professor, I just followed Ginny inside.', were not an option. There was no way that he would bring Ginny into this.

"Speak, Potter. I want an explanation for this insolence.", Snape demanded smoothly, "And before you try to lie to me, keep in mind that I do realise that your presence has nothing to do with a sudden desire to visit me."

Harry clenched his teeth. Snape was one of those people were Harry could hold his tongue only with much self-control. He swore to Merlin, when he had graduated successfully from Hogwarts, the Potions Master would be the first teacher that would hear his opinion.

If they all would make it through the war that is. Well, Harry decided that he could just as well come back to hunt him as a ghost…

"I didn't want to break into your quarters, Professor Snape.", he uttered lamely.

"And here I thought I found you in the middle of my bedroom, looking utterly guilty.", the Potions Master drawled.

Whatever guilt Harry had felt, had now definitely evaporated. A scathing reply burned on his tongue and the Gryffindor swallowed twice to keep it from spilling over his lips, but as this one was successfully defeated, his lips parted once more to finally open fire with his Professor.

_/Not. Even. A. Word./_

Harry's mouth snapped shut immediately.

'_Tom.'_

Relief flooded him as he realised that the other boy was awake. He wasn't alone with Snape anymore. Thank Merlin.

_/For the love of Salazar, Harry, why didn't you wake me sooner?/_, Tom sounded more exasperated than angry, _/How the hell do you suppose I can help you now?/_

'_You were asleep…'_

Merlin, it was the day of lame replies today. Could he get any dumber?

Tom wisely chose not to comment on this and Harry could feel him thinking of a way to get him out of the shit he had managed to catapult himself into.

Looking back up at Snape, Harry decided that he would have to say _something_. If he wanted to live, that is.

"The truth is, that I actually really wanted to talk to you.", Harry surprised himself by how convincing this came out.

So Tom was rubbing off on him after all.

_/You did?/_

"Indeed.", Snape's face darkened, "And it's _sir_, Potter."

"Yes. Sir.", the wheels inside the Gryffindor's mind turned furiously, "It's about Malfoy, sir."

Harry had trouble looking convincing and by the look Snape directed at him, he wasn't so sure if he actually managed.

"What _about_ Mr Malfoy, Potter?", the Potion's Master asked harshly, his patience wearing thin, "Get to the point, boy!"

Harry refrained from fumbling with one of his robe-sleeves, as he liked to do in nervous situations. It was something he did as long as he could remember. When he had still been a child, he used to tug at the hand-me-downs from Dudley he was wearing when uncle Vernon or aunt Petunia were yelling at him for something.

"He wasn't at breakfast. Sir.", Harry nearly stumbled over the words, cursing himself as soon as they had left his mouth.

Snape raised an eyebrow at him, looking disgusted by his obvious stupidity.

"And what do you suppose I do, Potter? Punish Mr Malfoy for missing a meal?"

Forcing himself to remain calm, Harry clung to Tom mentally, as if this would transfer some of the other boy's abilities to him.

Tom, for his part, had given up asking what Harry had in mind and just listened carefully to the conversation, ready to help him out if he needed it.

"No, I didn't mean it like that!", Harry replied, irritated by being treated like a mentally challenged person, "I wanted to know if Malfoy's absence had anything to do with Voldemort."

A nearly breathless silence filled the air.

Finally Tom seemed to get a hang what Harry was about to do. The Gryffindor felt the other's impressed smirk and almost smiled with pride as he felt it.

_/Wow, Potter, didn't know you had it in you./_

'_Well, Riddle, what can I say? You're doing your job well.'_

His attention snapped back to Snape as the Professor turned abruptly to the door leading back into his office/sitting room, jerking his head into said direction indicating Harry should follow.

Harry frowned at the Potions Master's back, but followed nonetheless. This was not quite the reaction he had expected.

"Sit.", the Professor ordered, while lowering himself into his own leather chair behind his big desk.

Harry stared at the uncomfortable looking wooden chair as if it was out of this world. Why would Snape want him to sit? Was he giving him his detention immediately? Why not drag him to Dumbledore immediately?

"I don't want you going around shouting this to the world, Potter.", Snape said seriously, black eyes looking at him intently.

"I-I haven't.", Harry stuttered in surprise, feeling uneasy under the dark stare.

Had he actually guessed the truth about Malfoy's absence? Was Snape just trying to have a somewhat civil conversation with him about the Slytherin? But he had just used what Ron was saying at breakfast, it being the first thing coming to his mind. His best friend couldn't be right, could he?

"I hope not.", Snape said softly, "And it's _sir_, Potter."

At an irritated movement of Snape's hand, Harry finally sat on the chair stiffly, perched on the edge. He was reminded of last year's Occlumancy lessons.

"So it is true? Sir?", Harry tried not to sound too aghast.

The Potions Master leaned back into his chair, tracing his thin lips with a pale, long finger as Harry had seen him do before.

"Be assured, Potter, that if I would be under the impression that you would remain entirely unaware of Mr Malfoy's situation, I would not answer your question now. Nor any other you might have, for that matter.", Snape paused for a moment, cold eyes still fixed unblinkingly at Harry, "But as a matter of fact, I am sure that you will know about it before tonight is over."

Harry blinked. Was he referring to his nightmares? But how-

Oh. _Oh._

"I see.", Harry said and by Snape's unnerved look hurried to add, "Sir."

"How very smart of you to use your brain, Potter.", the other said tersely.

They glared at each other over the desk and Harry could feel the usual displeasure coming back that he felt whenever being forced spending time with his least favourite Professor.

So Malfoy was about to receive the Dark Mark.

Harry was surprised by how deeply this new information seemed to unsettle him.

Yes, it was true that he had never like Malfoy, but he'd never thought that the other boy would actually go so far as to let himself be marked. Harry was sure that the Slytherin had no idea what he was getting himself into.

Frowning, a sudden thought came to Harry's mind.

"Since when has Voldemort-"

"Haven't I _told _you _not_ to say the Dark Lord's name?", Snape hissed angrily.

Harry clenched his teeth, irritated.

"_Sorry, sir_.", he ground out, "So, since when has _he_ started to take underage wizards? Sir?"

"Since he found it very affective to have more than one spy at Hogwarts.", the Potions Master's expression did not change, but his posture was tense.

Harry's frown deepened.

'_Do you think Snape knows about the spy that's supposed to be close to me? The one who had tried to bury me under this bookshelf a few weeks ago?'_

_/I honestly doubt it, Harry./_, Tom said, _/If Snape knows, Dumbledore knows. What I gathered from Voldemort, he seemed not to have told anyone about Shadow, not even the Inner Circle./_

'_You never did tell me what it was that you saw instead of me.', _Harry frowned at the thought that Tom was keeping something from him.

_/I wanted to spare you from the disgusting details./_, Tom said truthfully,_ /There was nothing else of importance. Shadow didn't get any more orders./_

Harry relaxed again. It had been a silly thought and he was angry at himself for it.

'_Of course. I'm sorry, Tom.'_

Tom didn't reply, but moved closer to him as they both turned their attention back towards Snape.

"And his father approves of Malfoy getting marked this soon?", Harry asked curiously, hoping that he wasn't pushing too far.

He found talking to Snape surprisingly easy, if the other was not insulting him or his heritage. There was no denying, after all, that Severus Snape was a very intelligent and talented wizard. Not to mention rather skilled with a wand.

Snape's eyes narrowed slightly and Harry recognised it as a sing of irritation.

"I see no reason why I should answer anymore of your questions, Potter. I let you draw on my patience long enough as it is.", he said scathingly, "_And it's SIR, Potter_."

Harry ignored the last part, remaining persistent.

"But you told me yourself that I would find everything out either way, sir."

Snape scowled deeply, glaring at Harry, whose stubborn gaze didn't waver.

"No, Potter, his father is not approving.", Snape answered finally, dislike etched to every line on his face.

Harry's eyes widened in surprise. From what he had seen of Lucius Malfoy, he had never thought him to disapprove of anything Voldemort did or said.

"Yes, Potter, despite popular believe, Lucius Malfoy actually does love his son.", the Potions Master said stiffly.

"B-But why is Malfoy getting the Mark then? Sir?", Harry asked dumbfounded.

"Has anyone ever told you that thinking before talking is rather useful, Potter?", Snape drawled, his lip curling disdainfully.

Harry clenched his teeth, his jaw starting to hurt from the frequent use of the only method he knew to keep his tongue in check.

"To answer your question, Potter, he doesn't have a choice. The Dark Lord is no man who would tolerate anything else than what he wants to happen. He needs another spy in Hogwarts, so he takes one."

Harry could do nothing more than nod. Looking down he felt utterly sick. There was nothing they could do to help Malfoy. Not even his father was able to help his own son!

His stomach lurched at the thought. How must Lucius Malfoy feel about this?

_/Harry./_, Tom said gently.

It was not meant in an addressing way, only to sooth his troubled feelings. Harry was once again more than grateful for having Tom with him.

"And now, Mr Potter, you will walk over to my bookshelf, take a copy of your Potions schoolbook and write me an essay about the topic that we discussed in class on Friday. Two rolls of parchment. After that you write another one and a half rolls of parchment about the next chapter in the book, which will be the topic of our next lesson. After that-"

"B-But Professor Snape!"

"_Do not interrupt me, Potter!_", Snape spat, "As I was saying, after that you will accompany me to my second office next to the Potions classroom and scrub the cauldrons. By hand. I think this will cover the rest of your Sunday and I will therefore spare you from serving detention the following week."

And here Harry had thought he had started to actually _like_ Snape.

"Have I made myself clear?", the Potions Master drawled.

Crystal clear.

"Yes, _sir_.", Harry ground out angrily.

"Well then, Mr Potter, do start. I have some papers to grade.", Snape said calmly, already reaching for his work.

Merlin, Harry hated that man!

_/T/'H'_

Harry stretched and felt his back pop in several places as his spine protested, having been in a bent position far too long. Every part of Harry hurt, there were muscles strained that Harry had no idea he possessed. Not even Quidditch could get him aching like that. He was glad that Tom had healed it for him last night, because he just didn't want to think about what his back would have felt like if it had been bruised as well.

Quidditch. Harry groaned at the prospect of practise tomorrow. They've had but a few this year, considering that it was only one month into term. Katie Bell was obviously taking it easy before starting to drill them for real. Considering that their first game was in two weeks, she had gone surprisingly soft on them. Well, not everyone was a madman like Oliver Wood, Harry decided.

Harry had been so deep in thought that he almost jumped from his skin when arms wrapped around him from behind, stopping his easy stroll into the direction of the Entrance Hall, meaning also one of the flights of stairs that led to Gryffindor Tower.

Yelping, Harry turned around, but the arms just remained around him and as soon as Harry had faced his 'aggressor', cool lips covered his own possessively, warming almost immediately.

Closing his eyes, Harry's lips yielded instinctively as he wrapped his arms around Tom's neck. Cold hands slid under his robe and tugged on his shirt insistently, pulling it free from his trousers.

Tom's hot tongue entered his mouth the same time as his cool hands slid under his shirt, making Harry moan and press closer.

He just became too aware of how much punishment Snape's detention had actually been, not being able to touch Tom, to kiss him, to just be held by him… They had lost a whole Sunday, damn Snape!

"I missed you.", Tom breathed against his lips, his hands running over his bare back both soothing and arousing him.

Harry pressed even closer, one of his hands once again in Tom's silky hair, caressing at the nape of the Slytherin's neck, knowing it to be a sensitive spot.

"I missed you, too.", Harry had to smile slightly at how ridiculously lovesick that sounded - missing someone who was with him all day.

Tom's lips were back on his and every thought simply flew from Harry's mind. Well, nearly every thought. Harry was suddenly reminded that they were in the middle of a corridor in the dungeons, near Snape's rooms.

Harry tried to draw back and protest, when Tom pushed him gently into the shadows and against the next dungeon wall. This time the Slytherin's hands were there to cushion Harry's back from the impact and the cold stone.

The moment Harry felt Tom fully pressed against him, he could care less if his back was cushioned or not and he completely forgot about all of his worries.

One of the Slytherin's now searing hands slid from his back to run over his chest, the same time as he sucked on Harry's tongue, making him moan helplessly into the taller boy's mouth, knees turning to butter.

'_Tom…oh god…'_

A moment later Tom's long fingers found a nipple and Harry had to finally wrench his lips from the other boy's tempting mouth in the need of air, head falling back as a breathy moan tore from his throat, not so unheard this time. As low as it might have been, it was thrown back at them from the dungeon walls.

Gathering all of the self-control Harry could master, the Gryffindor gently pushed Tom back, getting some distance between their hot bodies. If he didn't stop this right now, he would not be able to later.

"Tom.", Harry said softly, between harsh breaths, "Not here. Someone might see. Snape might see!"

Tom sighed in irritation, but did not protest, leaning closer to bury his head in Harry's neck instead.

"I can't even think straight, how can you master rational thoughts?", Tom's voice was not exactly whiny, but close.

Slytherins didn't whine, after all. Least of all if their name was Tom Riddle.

"I wouldn't exactly describe your way of thinking straight, Tom.", Harry said dryly, his arms tightening around the other boy.

Tom actually shook with laughter, needing a few moments to calm down. Harry smiled. He loved to see Tom happy.

"I guess that's a point for you, Potter.", he teased gently, drawing back to kiss Harry softly.

"I didn't know we were keeping count.", Harry mumbled against the other boy's mouth just before Tom's tongue ran over his bottom lip, making him grow weak in the knees again, "Merlin, Tom, stop…"

Harry's tone of voice as well as the hands tightening in Tom's hair belied his words rather strongly.

"I can't.", Tom sounded serious, a series of hot kisses punctuated almost every word, "I want you right here, right now. Against this very wall, just the way I had you in the library, all whimpering an moaning and trying to keep silent."

Harry groaned, feeling his resolve faltering as he kissed Tom back hungrily. There was no way he could resist it now, his hips already matching the slow rhythm in which Tom was grinding into him.

It was nothing like in the library. There it had been hurried and urgent and the sensations were all new to Harry, his mind not able to grasp everything and his emotions just a jumbled mess.

Now it was entirely different. It was slow and unhurried, but nevertheless so hot that Harry felt like melting.

Some part of his mind was still protesting, telling him that he would NEVER be able to keep silent this time, but it was strongly outweighed by the way Tom's hips pressed into his own deliberately, letting Harry feel the hot hardness beneath the other's clothes as it slid against his own in the most perfect angle.

The Slytherin's tongue was moving with his own smoothly, slowly, almost at the same pace as their hips were moving against each other and Harry sought for something to hold on to, finding Tom's clothes.

Harry shoved the other boy's robe out of the way impatiently, hands tearing at Tom's shirt instead, hungry to reach bare skin as well.

Tom's own hands had found their way back under Harry's shirt and while one resumed teasing his nipple, the other moved from under the shirt down to the Gryffindor's ass, helping his already jerking hips back into their former slower place.

Harry moaned, but would have rather wanted to scream in frustration, where was Tom getting all this self-control from?

Finally, accompanied by the harsh sound of a fabric giving way, Tom's shirt tore and buttons hit the ground.

Harry couldn't care less and, obviously, Tom was thinking along this line as well, as Harry's hungry hands immediately explored the Slytherin's smooth chest. He found the taller boy's nipples and circled them in a careful motion before rubbing over them.

The smaller boy smirked against Tom's lips as the other's hips jerked in an uncontrolled motion and a harsh breath bordering on a moan was muffled between their mouths.

Repeating the gesture, Harry's mouth slid from Tom's and his lips and tongue attacked the Slytherin's neck mercilessly, finding it to taste slightly salty. Finding a sensitive spot, Harry sucked on it greedily and finally, finally Tom's control seemed to crack as a breathy moan tumbled over the taller boy's lips and his hips jerked again, arms tightening and fingers clawing.

If they weren't in the middle of a corridor, only a step away from being discovered by Snape, Harry would have demanded for Tom to repeat the sound. He swore he could come just listening to him. But for this he would have to wait until they got back to their room, unfortunately.

Slow and teasing forgotten, Tom pressed him fully back against the wall, his hips grinding desperately and fast against his own restless ones.

It took only a few more shoves before Harry could feel the familiar tightening in his stomach, clutching the remains of Tom's shirt, stealing a messy kiss before throwing his head back.

The Slytherin buried his face into Harry's neck, as he had done in the library two days ago, stifling his gasps.

Harry bit his lip hard, tasting blood, as he shuddered, his hands desperately wanting the trembling Tom closer still as they both rode out the waves of their release.

Every one of their harsh breaths was echoing off the dungeon walls as they rested slumped against the cold stone.

Tom had just enough energy to revise their positions, leaning back against the wall instead and gathering Harry close to his chest to keep him from getting cold.

"Merlin, Harry, you'll be my downfall.", he breathed into the Gryffindor's raven hair.

Harry laughed softly, lacing his fingers with Tom's longer ones, feeling the other boy's gentle but firm and warm grasp on his hand. It felt so good to touch him.

"It was you that attacked me like a wild beast in the first place.", Harry said, amused as he titled his head up to steal a gentle kiss.

Tom briefly liked over the cut, as if able to heal it this way.

"And you fought back intently, your moans actually a cry for help, is that it?", Tom's emerald eyes glinted in the dim fire light, lips quirked in a smile as he made a motion with his hand.

Harry laughed again before he felt the uncomfortable stickiness in his trousers vanish shooting Tom a grateful look.

"We should probably be going.", the Slytherin said, caressing Harry's face and brushing an unruly lock out of the smaller boy's eyes.

Harry nodded and backed away, their hands remaining joined as they began to walk, climbing the stairs out of the dungeons, leaving the Slytherin territory behind.

They crossed the Entrance Hall hand in hand. It was after curfew and no one was allowed to be outside their common rooms any longer, except Prefects, teachers and students with a pass. Harry trusted Tom to feel it in time, should anyone choose to cross their path.

When they passed Hogwarts' huge doors, Harry noted that the many locks were undone and the doors were slightly open. In times as these, Dumbledore gave very strict orders when to lock the doors. Filch, accompanied by Flitwick himself, was responsible for that.

He had not seen them open at night since his third year at school, when everyone believed Sirius Black was out to murder him.

Harry had pushed the memory of Sirius so far back in his mind, that the sudden thought of his godfather made his heart ache.

"What's wrong?", Tom asked softly, bewildered by Harry suddenly stopping and also feeling the painful stab to the Gryffindor's heart.

"The doors are open.", Harry said, scanning the area intently, not giving Tom the answer he had wanted to hear.

"So?", Tom frowned, the doors obviously being his last worry.

"Since my third year, the doors are being locked after dinner. No one can get outside, or inside for that matter."

There was a pause where neither of them moved, but then they took a few steps forward in unison, Harry's hand unconsciously tightening it's hold.

As soon as they had reached the big doors, Harry knew with certainty that something was wrong. A figure was lying huddled in-between the doorway, as if having wanted to seek shelter, but their strength having failed at the last meters.

Harry let go of Tom's hand and hurried to the stranger's side, falling to his knees and gently reaching out to turn them around.

Tom was at his side a moment later, aiding Harry. As soon as they had managed to turn the trembling body onto it's back, platinum blond hair became visible, spilling out from under the big hood.

A sudden fear gripped Harry and he dragged the body towards him as gently as he could master, placing the person's head into his lap and brushing the hood away in an irritate gesture.

More paleness was revealed and Harry's eyes widened, his hands frantically touching the icy cold skin of the boy's face.

"Oh my god, Tom.", Harry whispered, shock etched to every line of his face, their emerald eyes meeting over the overly still boy in Harry's arms, "It's Draco!"


	14. Chapter 14

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hi guys! i know i'm evil with my cliffhangers, but sometimes i just can't resist!

i updated rather quickly as to not leave you hanging for too long :) . it's not that long, but i hope you like it anyway. the next chapter will be longer again, i've alredy begun writing on it.

THANK YOU for all the reviews, i love you and will never get tired of telling you!

enjoy!

* * *

"He's fine, Harry."

Harry looked up from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed, meeting Tom's soft eyes. Standing up he moved forward into the taller boy's arms, feeling them enclose him tightly.

"I know. He is now, thank Merlin.", Harry mumbled, "You know I'd never thought I'd be this worried about Malfoy someday. I just didn't want another death, Tom. I couldn't bare it. There have been too many already…"

"I know, Harry, I know.", Tom caressed his back and held him even tighter, turning his head slightly to place a gentle kiss on the side of Harry's head.

Harry had no idea how long they were standing there, but he knew that they probably would have for a long time to come, if movement from the bed wouldn't have caught their attention.

The Gryffindor drew back, but slipped a hand into Tom's as he turned back towards the bed.

Silver eyes blinked blaringly at him, looking utterly confused and unusually vulnerable. Somehow it hurt Harry to see the other boy like this. He was so used to Malfoy simply being Malfoy, that this was almost scaring him.

"Malfoy.", Harry's voice was gentle as he leaned over him slightly, "How are you feeling?"

"Potter?", the voice was rough and hoarse.

_From screaming_., Harry realised in horror. He swore he'd never look at Malfoy the same again.

"Yes.", Harry confirmed softly, "How are you feeling?"

"What the hell are you doing here?", Malfoy was obviously quite lost and becoming tenser by the minute.

"You're in my bed, Malfoy. We found you in the Entrance Hall. Don't you remember?"

Firstly, Malfoy obviously didn't, but after a few moments his eyes widened and he clutched his right arm, only to wince in pain the moment he touched it.

It was strange that before tonight, Harry had never spent a thought about Malfoy actually being left-handed. The Gryffindor was sure never to forget it again, after having taken care of Malfoy's right arm, marred with that damn Dark Mark, which had been swollen and bleeding.

"Hey, it's okay.", Harry tried to sooth the upset boy, feeling awkward trying to comfort his so-called enemy of the past five years, "We haven't told anyone. If we would have wanted to we would have brought you to the Hospital Wing."

"We?", Malfoy asked suspiciously.

Harry froze slightly, looking back at Tom. The taller boy didn't give any sign of disapproving as to what Harry had said, actually stepping up to the bed beside the Gryffindor.

"Yes, we.", Tom said calmly, squeezing Harry's hand gently.

Malfoy stared at him, his tired brain clearly having a hard time wrapping around all of this. The blonde's eyes slid to the Slytherin crest on Tom's robe and his gaze turned even more confused. Harry had never seen so many emotions in the other boy's eyes before, which usually seemed void of everything except an icy wall.

"If you are a Slytherin, then why don't I know you?", Malfoy asked suspiciously.

Tom sneered at him nastily. Harry had almost forgotten this side of him and if the other boy wouldn't be holding his hand at the moment, he'd not be so sure if it was the same person he fell in love with.

"Malfoy, I can assure you that you know me.", at Malfoy's raised eyebrow, Tom chose to continue, "I am Tom Riddle."

The blonde gaped at him, his eyes darting from Tom to Harry and back again. If the situation wouldn't be so serious, Harry would find it funny.

"Tom Riddle?", Malfoy's voice was faint, "As in _the_ Tom Riddle?"

"Precisely."

The blonde's eyes closed and he sank even further into the bed. If it weren't for he fact that he was mumbling something to himself, Harry would have thought that he'd fainted.

"Oh I can assure you that this is no dream, Malfoy, so I suggest you collect yourself so we can get down to business.", Tom said smoothly.

Harry looked at Tom in surprise, searching the other boy's gaze.

'_What business?'_

_/Just trust me, Harry./_, Tom replied gently, _/We need this imbecilic prat's services./_

'_Wha-'_

_/Just let me, love./, _the endearment slid easily over the Slytherin's mental lips, _/Please./_

Harry could not have disagreed to anything Tom might have suggested at this moment, when giving him this soft, loving look. He just nodded and they turned back towards Malfoy, who had opened his eyes and was frowning at them.

"What the hell are you talking about, Riddle?", his eyes darted briefly over to Harry before settling back on Tom's tall form, "And if you really are Tom Riddle, then what the fuck are you doing at Potter's side?"

Tom's lip curled in disdain as he looked down at Malfoy as if he were some highly disgusting pile of slime. Harry was quite impressed by the fact that the blonde did neither cringe nor avert his intense silver gaze.

"This is no concern of yours.", Tom said menacingly, as if warning the other Slytherin to mind his tongue, "You should rather focus on the matter at hand, Malfoy. Meaning that if it weren't for Harry, you'd still be lying in-between Hogwarts' doors in the Entrance Hall. With a slight difference, that is, which would be that you'd be dead."

Malfoy's white face paled even more, if that was possible, and Harry could see that something passed between the two Slytherins.

Tom smirked at him, eyes flashing malevolently.

"What a pleasant surprise. You do seem to have some intellect in you, Malfoy, I'm impressed.", he drawled, "Well, that makes it easier for me, I presume. You are indebted to Harry. This means, as you surely have realised, that your life is his."

Harry's gaze snapped to Tom. What the hell was he up to?

Turning his attention back to the bed, he saw that Malfoy had went rigid, his hands clenching the sheets, but to Harry's greatest surprise, his eyes remained the same. Icy and distant. If Harry didn't know better, he'd say someone had trained him to master this expression. As far as Harry recalled, the blonde hadn't been quite that icy in first and second year.

"What do you want from me?", Malfoy asked quietly, almost sounding defeated.

"Oh, so your smartness does have boundaries. How disappointing.", Tom mocked, glaring down at the other boy venomously.

"Tom.", Harry warned softly, surprising himself.

Not in all his life had Harry ever believed that he would sometime defend Malfoy. Malfoy who had done nothing but humiliate and mock him from the very beginning. Malfoy the evil little slimeball with an ever present sneer on his lips. Malfoy who-

...was lying in his bed, deathly pale and weakened only barely having survived Voldemort.

Tom was reading his thoughts and gave his hand another squeeze, refraining from insulting Malfoy some more. For now.

"I want you to become a spy for us."

Both Harry's and Malfoy's gaze snapped towards Tom immediately. The tall Slytherin seemed unfazed, but turned his head to look at Harry, gaze softening.

Their green eyes remained locked and although no words passed between them, Harry understood Tom better than if the other would have spoken.

Finally Harry tore his eyes away, looking back at Malfoy. The blonde was even tenser, shaking rather violently, though still his eyes betrayed nothing. It was almost scary.

'_I don't like this, Tom.'_, Harry said softly, meaning every word, _'I don't like this at all.'_

_/I know./_, the other replied gently, moving closer, _/But we have no choice. If we don't act now, Voldemort will always have an advantage with Shadow./_

Even though Tom was right in what he said, Harry still didn't want to do this. When it came down, it was only him that mattered after all.

"Look, Malfoy.", Harry began, trying to sound soothing, somehow not being able to bear seeing the normally so unfazed Slytherin trembling like a little boy, "If we had any other choice, we would take it. But we have none. You're our only chance Malfoy, our only hope."

Malfoy listened without interrupting, his eyes fixed on Harry with an unreadable expression. He was clearly missing something here…

"I don't approve.", the blonde said, voice still low and rough, even a little shaky, "But as Riddle has kindly pointed out to me, you own my life. There is nothing I could change about that. You can give me orders, Potter, and I will see them fulfilled, but after Voldemort is dead I want to be released."

Harry just nodded. It was, after all, the least he could do.

"Believe it or not Malfoy, I don't want you killed.", the Gryffindor said softly, looking directly into Malfoy's eyes, "I would rather not involve you at all, but I think you want the bastard dead as much as we do, right?"

The blonde looked at him, gaze still cold, but Harry thought he could see something in their depths. Surprisingly, Malfoy nodded, before fighting to sit up.

Harry knew better than trying to offer assistance, instead turning to Tom who was currently levitating the two armchairs from the fireplace over to where they were standing beside the bed, so they could sit.

"You do realise that in order for this to work, you'll have to trust me.", Malfoy said evenly, having settled back against the headboard, "So why don't we start with you telling me what's actually going on."

"The reasons as to why I am here are none of your concern.", Tom said scathingly, making everything sound not only like a demand, but an order, "We need you to report everything from the Death Eater meetings you'll be attending and of course anything else that might come to your ears."

"Why, Riddle, and here I thought my order was to have tea with the Dark Lord.", Malfoy replied sarcastically.

He was either being very brave of very suicidal, Harry decided. Tom had the temper of a snake, which was that what made him so dangerous. No one knew when a snake would attack and if it decided to kill or not…

Tom's eyes flashed in anger, but Harry was quicker, placing a soothing hand on Tom's knee, feeling it warming beneath his touch. Merlin knew, this was going to be one hell of a team with the two Slytherins being at each other's throats constantly. Harry could feel their mutual dislike, if no hatred, for each other so strongly, that he was actually surprise that none of the two had attempted bodily harm yet.

"What Tom means to tell you, Malfoy, is that Voldemort has situated a spy at Hogwarts. A new spy before you.", Harry said calmly, watching surprise briefly pass over his face, "It's a girl under the codename 'Shadow' and obviously Voldemort's biggest secret. I know that he hasn't told anyone about her, for Snape had not mentioned anything."

"This is rather unsurprising, as Severus is no member of the Inner Circle.", Malfoy said slowly, thoughtfully, "But I am surprised that my father hasn't heard anything about her."

"Severus?", Harry raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh for fuck's sake, Potter, even a dimwit as yourself could have realised that he is my godfather.", Malfoy said rolling his eyes.

Oh. Now this explained quite a few things. So maybe Snape wasn't such a slimy, arse-crawling git after all. The Potions Master had just kept an eye out for his godson, then, not favouring him because of his father. At least not all the time.

Somehow this reminded him of Sirius again, but Harry pushed the thought away angrily. There was no time feeling sorry for himself.

"I see.", was everything Harry said to that, "Anyway, Shadow is quite good. We have no idea who she is and she seems to be doing her job very well. Even tried to bury me under a bookshelf a few weeks ago. So we basically need you to find out who she is."

Malfoy just nodded, looking more tired by the minute, not even mastering the strength to retort verbally.

_He must be feeling like shit if he can't even get a sarcastic remark out._

"I think we'll leave it at that.", Harry said, deciding it was better if Malfoy got some more sleep, "We'll talk again in three days from now. Meet me in the library at lunchtime. If there is anything you need before then, owl me."

The blonde indicated that he had understood and made a move to stand up, wincing all the way although he had barely moved.

"Don't.", Harry stated firmly, leaving no room for argument, "Tom will bring you into your dormitory."

Tom's eyes snapped towards him, looking as if Harry had just made a bad joke. The Gryffindor held his gaze and Tom finally gave in, grabbing Malfoy's good arm rather roughly.

"Don't move, you fool.", Tom spat out, grip tightening.

Harry felt the familiar tingling inside of him as Tom drew from their magical energy. A second later both Slytherins had vanished and Harry leaned back with a deep sigh. He was dead on his feet and had only another hour till breakfast.

He only hoped that Tom and Malfoy wouldn't kill each other.


	15. Chapter 15

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hi, all of you! THANKS SO MUCH for the lovely reviews! as promised this chapter is longer again ;). hope you like it!

enjoy!

p.s.: _**moony391 **i know that in the books all of the Death Eaters have the Dark Mark on the left arm, but i think that J.K.Rowling simply didn't think about left-handed people. For me, i have no idea why, Draco is left-handed. i find it strangely fitting :) . well, and i think it's rather impractical for a left-handed person to have the Dark Mark there, because think about open war, were Voldemort wants to summon his Death Eaters and the Mark begins to burn like hell. how is a left-handed wizard suppoased to defend himself, when he has the feeling his arm might fall off? lol :D i really mean NO offence by this, but i think you know that. you just asked me what i had in mind when writing that bit and i hope i have given you a good enough answer! cheers!_

and hey, before i forget it: there will be NO cheating from either Harry or Tom! Draco's feelings are a different matter, but i won't give away anything yet. you'll find out soon enough, don't worry ;).

* * *

Harry peeled the sweaty shirt from his body, letting it drop to the ground before slumping down on the uncomfortable wooden bench beside him to take off his muddy sneakers.

Katie had not been too soft on them today. They had trained an hour passed their usual time until it was simply too dark for Harry to make out the Snitch in the thick blanket of the night. Days were getting shorter and darkness had fallen rather quickly.

"Merlin, this woman is as bad as Angelina.", Ron groaned as he flopped down beside him, already stripped to his boxers, "Not only that every muscle in my body feels like it's about to snap, the bloody woman made us miss dinner too!"

Harry grinned weakly, finally free of his sneakers.

"We don't have too much time till the DA meeting.", he said quietly, standing up, "We'd better hurry up and get something on the way to the Room of Requirement."

Ron grumbled something that sounded affirmative and they went for the shower stalls in the back of the Quidditch changing rooms.

When Harry stood under the hot spray, trying to get is sore muscles to relax, he pondered his current distance to Ron and Hermione. He hadn't told either of them about Malfoy and had no intention to.

Not to mention that they were still under the opinion that Tom was either out to possess or kill him.

_/You think too hard, Harry./_, Tom's soft voice drifted though his thoughts.

'_I just don't like lying to Ron and Hermione.'_, Harry leaned back against the cold tiles, closing his eyes with a sigh.

Silence stretched between them for a while, before Harry felt a sudden need for confirmation.

'_Tom?'_

_/Yes, Harry?/_

'_You-You won't leave me, right?', _he asked rather tentatively.

_/Of course not!/, _the tone was fierce, before Tom's voice softened,_ /Foolish boy, I though I told you before./_

'_I-I just needed to hear it right now.'_

_/I'll tell you as often as you want./_, Tom's voice dropped a notch and smoothened out, gliding over Harry like silk, _/I'll tell you anything you want./_

Harry shivered, feeling the beginnings of arousal washing over him and bit his lip.

'_Gods, Tom, not now.'_, Harry protested weakly, _'I still have to get through the evening."_

_/Oh, I will behave./, _Tom said smoothly_/But only if you promise that we don't have another night stolen from us./_

Warmth spread through Harry that had nothing to do with desire, but only with his love for the other boy.

'_I promise.', _he said softly.

_/T/'H'_

"Welcome back to the DA.", Harry said, looking at each of his 'students' with a tired smile, "I'm glad that all of you chose to participate once more. This year we will concentrate on duelling and helping yourself when losing your wand in battle. Tonight is purely for revising last year's spells. As always, we'll work in pairs. Everyone please partner up."

With three people having dropped out from the group, they were now exactly 22 students, not counting himself, and so everyone was able to get a partner.

Harry let his gaze slide over each pair, studying them intently. The members of the DA had not changed much and most of them worked in the pairs he was used to.

Ron and Hermione, had of course partnered up, as had Fred and George, Parvati and Padma, Colin and his brother Dennis, Alicia Spinnet and Katie Bell, Ernie Macmillian and Justin Finch-Fletchley, Hannah Abbot and Susan Bones, Anthony Goldstein and Michael Corner. Dean had paired with Neville and Lee, Harry realised amusedly, had the pleasure of Zacharias Smith's company.

What surprised him the most was that Ginny and Luna had built a pair. After witnessing their rather harsh fight in the library a few days ago, Harry had thought that the two of them would avoid each other, not act as if nothing had happened.

When all eyes turned to him expectantly, Harry was torn from his thoughts.

"Alright, on the count of three, as always.", he said firmly, "One-two-three!"

Almost immediately the room was lit in the brightest colours as countless different spells were cast animatedly, the volume rising to the usual head-splitting notch.

_/What a bunch of complete imbeciles./_, Tom said disdainfully, his attention on the DA group as well.

'_Tom.'_, Harry chided gently.

_/The way they keep screaming around makes them look more like some psychopaths having escaped from a hospital than wizards practising magic./_, Tom was obviously not put off, _/They are wasting important energy with unnecessary shouting./_

As always, Harry had to admit that Tom had a point. He seriously considered telling this to the others, but refrained from it. At least for now.

_/There is something I meant to tell you, Harry./_, Tom said, turning his attention fully back to Harry, _/I want to-/_

A crash followed by several loud cries of fright, interrupted Tom and made Harry jump in surprise, whirling around to determine the source of the noise.

A foot to his left Luna was sprawled on the ground in front of one of the bookshelves, in which she had obviously crashed into. Books had fallen down with her, lying scattered all around her slim form, blond hair spread around her head in a tangled mass.

Everyone in the room had stopped in mid-movement, some even hurrying from their positions to rush to the blond girl's side.

Harry was immediately there, falling to his knees beside her and checking for injuries. Feeling Luna's cold forehead and low pulse, Harry quickly came to the conclusion that she had been hit by a rather powerful stunning spell.

Relief washed over him and he pointed his wand at the still unconscious girl.

"_Enervate_."

Almost immediately pale blue eyes blinked open and focused on him slowly. Her thin brows were drawn into a slight frown as she looked up at Harry.

"Harry?", her voice had the same dreamy lilt as ever, although it was weaker.

"Are you alright, Luna?", he asked gently, "Can you sit up?"

"I-I don't know."

Without hesitation, Harry reached out to help Luna into an upright position, feeling her small body trembling slightly under his hands, a usual side effect to 'Stupefy'.

Looking up, the Gryffindor saw Ginny standing unmoving, the look in her eyes unreadable, her hand still clutching her wand tightly.

Upon meeting Harry's gaze, the youngest Weasley looked away and scrambled over to Luna's side.

"You alright, Luna?", she said softly, but Harry heard the rather stiff undertone, "I'm really sorry, I thought you'd block it in time."

The blond girl's lips curved into her usual fey smile, obviously not holding any grudge against the redhead.

"It's alright, Ginny.", she said in her smooth low voice, "It was my fault really, I didn't pay enough attention."

Was it just Harry or did Ginny practically glare at the still sitting girl?

"I'm still sorry, though.", Ginny offered, jaw tight, almost pressing it through her teeth, "Let me help you up."

Together with Harry, she helped Luna to her feet. The Gryffindor could feel the blonde wince when Ginny dug her fingernails into the Ravenclaw's left arm. Other than that there was no sign of discomfort on Luna's face, nor did her smile falter.

"Thank you.", she said quietly to both of them, before returning to her former place, "I'm sorry for disrupting your class, Harry. Let's just continue, I'm fine really."

Harry studied her for another moment, noting for the first time that Luna was actually as tall as himself, surpassing Ginny by three inches.

She seemed to treat the Weasley-girl as her friend still, despite the redhead's strange behaviour. Harry thought back, reminded of the conversation he'd had with Luna at the end of term. It had been the first time that Harry had actually listened to her. Really listened that is.

Luna had seemed so lonely then, it had almost reminded him of himself when he was still going to elementary school and the other kids had treated him like a nutcase. Shaking his head to clear it, he addressed the others again.

"Alright, continue.", Harry said loud enough for everyone to hear, stepping back and out of the way as multiple spells flew through the air once more.

'_Well, that was strange…', _he mused.

There was a thoughtful pause, before Tom answered him.

_/I don't like her./_

Harry's attention turned fully to the Slytherin. This was not what he had expected at all.

'_Who, Ginny?'_

_/No, Lovegood./_

'_Why? She's actually quite nice if you overlook all of her creepiness. Ginny is the one acting like a banshee lately.'_, Harry said frowning.

_/Mh…/_

Harry's frown deepened. He couldn't remember Tom ever giving such an ineloquent reply. He would keep an eye on both of them, Harry decided.

Well, actually, he was paying very close attention to Ginny already. There was still this unresolved issue, why she had sneaked into Snape's chambers yesterday morning…

_/T/'H'_

When Harry emerged from the bathroom, dressed in his pyjamas and ready for bed, he found Tom where he had left him stretched out on his bed, flipping through a book he had taken from one of the shelves in Harry's room.

Upon hearing the bathroom door close, Tom looked up, letting the book fall shut, and watched Harry as he approached the bed.

The Gryffindor took the book and placed it on the bedside table, occupying the same place a moment later as he sat down at Tom's side, reaching out to brush his fingers through the Slytherin's soft, raven hair.

Tom leaned into the touch, closing his hand over Harry's wrist to pull him closer.

The Gryffindor fell forward into the other boy's arms and they shifted so they could lie together on the bed, with their arms around each other.

Tom caressed Harry's face and gently took off his glasses, casting them aside. His fingers wandered over the smaller boy's face, before lingering on his forehead to brush away some stray strands and reveal the infamous lightning bolt shaped scar.

Harry's eyes closed as the Slytherin's cool hands ran over the mark. He knew that he was practically starved for touch, as he had never gotten enough attention as a child. When he came to Hogwarts it became slightly better, but neither Ron nor Hermione ever touched him like Tom did. Nor anybody else for that matter.

The Gryffindor sighed as the now warmed fingers slid back down over his cheek and jaw, titling his head up slightly. Cool, soft lips pressed against his scar and Harry gasped slightly in surprise. This felt so very intimate.

Titling his head further back he caught Tom's mouth with his own. The Slytherin returned the kiss gently, briefly brushing his tongue over Harry's slightly parted lips, hands sliding into unruly hair.

The smaller boy pushed closer, but Tom drew back slightly in order to look into his eyes, an intense look in his own emerald orbs. He was so close that Harry could still feel Tom's breath on his face.

"I won't let him take you from me, Harry, I promise.", Tom whispered, pressing a small kiss to the corner of his mouth, "I will teach you anything I know and as long as I'm with you, he won't hurt one hair on your head."

Harry's gaze softened and his hands slid up to frame Tom's face, caressing his cheeks. They were soft and already warmed from being so close to him.

"I know.", Harry said, brushing their lips together, "I trust you."

Their mouth met again, this time Tom's tongue pushed past Harry's lips, finding it's mate and rubbed against it gently.

Harry felt the heat already pooling in his stomach and he hands sought a way under Tom's robe, encountering the shirt underneath. The Gryffindor ran his hands over the taller boy's chest, caressing it through the smooth fabric.

Tom's fingers were deeply tangled into his hair, as the kiss deepened and both pressed together for more contact. When their hips met, Harry moaned, the sound almost lost in their heated kiss, and immediately sought for friction.

Tom pushed back briefly, but then his strong hands closed over Harry's insistent hips, stilling them fully. With a gentle parting kiss Tom drew back slightly, looking at Harry with a soft expression. Harry whimpered in protest.

"You have to sleep, Harry.", he said gently, "You did barely sleep last night and today was eventful enough. You'll fall asleep in your morning classes."

"I don't care.", well it wasn't a whine _exactly_, "I'd rather spend my time with you than waste it with sleeping. We never seem to get some for ourselves, anyway."

Tom smiled, it was small but a smile nevertheless. Harry loved those rare smiles. They warmed him from the inside out, making his heart beat higher, as he knew they were just for him.

"What are your afternoon classes?", the Slytherin asked as he leaned in to place a few soft kisses on Harry's face.

The Gryffindor's eyes closed again.

"Double Herbology and double Care of Magical Creatures.", he said, leaning into every touch.

"Then let's just skip those, so we have a whole afternoon to ourselves.", Tom suggested, his tone turning slightly sly as he added: "And the whole night of course."

"I don't think that McGonagall will write me an excuse note for that.", Harry laughed softly.

The Slytherin smirked, kissing the tip of the smaller boy's nose, obviously amused by the way it wrinkled beneath the soft caress.

"Don't worry about that, Harry. I'll take care of it."

"I won't ask.", Harry grinned.

"Good boy.", Tom smirked, making a smooth gesture with his hand plunging everything in darkness.

Harry cuddled closer, pressing every inch of his body against the Slytherin.

"And how do you suppose I can sleep now?", he asked innocently, wriggling against Tom provocatively, rubbing against all the right places.

There was a sharp intake of breath, before Tom's arms came around him and a hand found it's way back into the mess that was called his hair, stroking gently.

"You will.", he answered simply.

As if these words had been a spell, Harry's eyes drifted shut and his limbs grew heavy. The rhythmic strokes of Tom's finger in his hair, made him become even more boneless.

_The git used a sleeping charm on me…_

This was the last thing Harry thought before slipping into protected sleep, safely tucked into Tom's arms.


	16. Chapter 16

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: very hard R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: so guys, here we are again. or rather: here's another chapter :) . there's a huge Tom/Harry part in here and i hope you like it! if i'm starting to bore your socks off, let me know better sooner than later ;) :D .

THANK YOU once again for the reviews, i loved them, all of them, you are too sweet and always so very kind to me. i'm really relieved to see that you still like me story! pls keep it up! love you all!

enjoy!

_**moony391 - **very glad to hear that :) . feel free to ask me anything at anytime, i'll always answer questions from my reviewers, it's the least i can do to show my appreciation. _

_so, the Fred&George-Lee thing: i thought really hard about them being present or not. first i was rather sure to leave them out, but then again the DA had already become smaller and i really like them, though they haven't played any part in the story yet. maybe i'll need them in the future... i know that Fred&George have practically ditched school, but i have to say i don't recall that well what either of the three did in which book exactly. as you might have noticed i confuse them rather easily, looking upon the plot of HP as a whole and not seperatedly. as for Lee, he technically should still be attenting Hogwarts. as far as i know the twins and Lee are just one year older than Harry & Co. i'm sorry if i confused you with all of this, it's rather hard for me to explain,...'sweatdrop'..._

_anyway i hope i answered your question somewhat, if there's anything else - just ask me!_

* * *

Harry sighed as Tom's soft hand stroked through his messy hair and over the side of his face. The Slytherin's hands were so smooth, so soft against his heating skin. It were moments like these that Harry forgot about anything beyond the two of them.

"I love to touch you.", Tom murmured softy against his ear, before licking gently over the lobe.

Harry gasped, pressing closer. They lay on his bed facing each other, for once bright light flooding the room instead of the usual blanket of darkness, or soft glow of candlelight.

The Gryffindor had taken Tom's 'advice' and instead of following his fellow classmates to the greenhouses, had returned to his room and curled up with Tom on the bed similar to last night. Only that this time, there was no exhaustion.

"And I love it when you touch me.", he answered breathily, eyes closed.

Tom's hand descended and caressed his neck, making Harry arch into him further, lips parting as his breathing quickened. It was almost scary how quickly his body was set ablaze by Tom's touches.

The long fingers slid across his neck to his collar, teasingly dipping beneath it just a fraction. Harry's breathing hitched and his heavy lidded eyes opened to meet the ones looking down on him an emerald fire burning deep in them.

Tom's hand slid from his neck to run over Harry's slightly parted lips and his tongue briefly flicked out to taste the slim digit, watching the Slytherin's eyes darken even further.

"You've got quite a tan, Harry.", it was the same soft murmur as before, as if afraid to break the moment.

Harry's own hands moved from where they had rested unmoving, one against the taller boy's chest and the other on his hip, to move to the front of the Slytherin's shirt, seeking the other's pale skin in-between the buttons to caress him there.

Tom's fingers twitched against his lips and slid back down to close around Harry's tie, leaning in closer so that the Gryffindor could feel his heavy, hot breath against his face.

"It's from working in the garden.", he was proud of being able to form a coherent reply, but his voice was huskier than he thought it would be.

Every thought of the Dursley's garden was quickly banished from his brain, as Tom's lips finally met his in a heated kiss. They were even softer than his hands and moving against his mouth insistently, making Harry groan and freely submitting to the other boy. The Slytherin's hot tongue entered his mouth and caressed every corner of it, before settling in stroking against his own in a rhythm that Harry's hips were straining to match as he pushed against him.

Tom would have none of it, however, pressing the Gryffindor into the mattress as he rolled on top of him smoothly, stilling his hips effectively, taking care as to not let their groins connect.

Harry protested, or more like whimpered helplessly, squirming restlessly in his search for friction.

"Tom, please…"

Tom did not budge, but leaned closer to run his tongue over Harry's lips only to retreat as the Gryffindor sought to capture it, turning his head away to suck on his earlobe.

"Patience, Harry.", he chided softly, "This time we'll do this right."

Tom's hands gently tugged at the Gryffindor tie, loosening the knot in one practiced movement. Only a second later, the first few buttons on Harry's shirt had come undone and Tom's hot lips pressed to every inch of newly exposed skin.

Harry's hands clenched and unclenched convulsively, feeling two buttons giving way under his assault, from where they still rested on the Slytherin's chest. He slid them into Tom's hair now, grabbing onto the smooth tresses as he pressed his head back into the pillows, gasps turning into a moan as Tom sucked on his pulse point greedily.

When the hot lips moved lower, onto his chest, Harry felt the point on his neck still tingling, sure that a mark had been left.

Another button came undone and he felt Tom gently kissing one of his nipples, before closing his lips around it and sucking it into his mouth, the tip of the Slytherin's tongue circling it teasingly.

Harry moaned out loud, convulsing under him and his eyes clenched shut even tighter, as his hands tried to tug Tom even closer.

"Oh gods…don't stop, Tom…", he gasped desperately, "Don't ever stop…"

Tom gave the assaulted nipple a gentle parting kiss, before bestowing the same treatment on the other one and moving even lower afterwards.

"I won't.", was the mumbled reply, as the other boy's sinful tongue darted out once more to rim his navel, making Harry shudder.

The Gryffindor concentrated long enough to unclench his trembling fingers in order to move his hands from the other boy's hair, afraid that he might hurt him.

It turned out that this thought had been quite right, as he nearly tore the sheets a moment later when Tom's tongue pushed into his navel erotically, making him almost cry out.

The tongue retreated and he protested at the loss of contact.

"Harry?"

Harry forced his eyes to open and looked down to meet Tom's deep green eyes, glittering with desire. The Slytherin's hands rested on the waistband of his trousers, the tips of his fingers just dipping underneath it teasingly, similar to what they had done at his collar earlier.

"Please.", Harry breathed, answering the wordlessly asked question.

Tom's eyes darkened even further and Harry briefly wondered if his own looked the same.

"Are you sure?", the Slytherin's voice was thick with desire and Harry was more than pleased by the effect he had on the other boy.

Not trusting himself to speak again, the Gryffindor just nodded, watching Tom's lips quirk up into a soft smile. The taller boy's hands immediately busied themselves with Harry's trousers.

Tom leaned down to nuzzle Harry through the fabric, making him groan once more as his head fell back again and his eyes slid shut.

The distant clanking sound of his belt accompanied by his zipper was followed by Tom softly urging Harry to lift his hips to assist him in taking off his trousers along with the boxers underneath.

Harry was too far gone to care about feeling any embarrassment, his eyes only opening briefly to watch his trousers being cast away in one fluent motion of Tom's hand.

A moment later the soft fingers of the other boy caressed his inner thighs and the Gryffindor's eyes drifted shut once more.

The hot breath that wafted over his straining arousal was the only warning Harry got before he was plunged into wet tight heat.

Crying out, Harry's hips jerked up reflexively as the first round of stars exploded behind his lids. He had no idea what he kept moaning, but it distantly sounded like a desperate mantra of Tom's name.

The Slytherin's tongue wrapped around his cock with expertise, knowing exactly where to lick to drive Harry delirious with desire.

He was only distantly aware of Tom's hands having slid onto his hips, to keep them from jerking uncontrollably.

When the other boy's mouth plunged down once more, taking all of his length into his mouth and swallowing around it, Harry knew that it was going to be over all too soon.

Tom must have recognized the signs as well, he let his mouth slid back, sucking on the tip while stabbing it with his tongue, caressing the trembling hips.

Blood was rushing in his ears and his moans so constant that he feared he would suffocate. Harry's fingers ached from where he was tearing at the sheets and his whole body was slick with sweat, the fact that his arms were still stuck in his shirt and robe only making him hotter.

With one last flick of Tom's tongue, it was over.

Harry's back arched off the bed, his hands ripping away from the sheets, needing to touch Tom.

One of the Slytherin's hands let go of Harry's hip, intertwining his long fingers with Harry's rougher ones, letting the Gryffindor clench them tightly as his release washed over him like a great wave.

Harry was feeling near passing out, when he was finally drained of his orgasm. He felt Tom sliding up over his body and his lips were covered a moment later. The Gryffindor opened his mouth, readily excepting Tom's tongue and tasting himself on the other boy, before he drew back to gently help Harry out of his shirt and robe in order to pull him, now fully naked, into his arms.

The smaller boy returned the intimate embrace, discovering that Tom's robe had vanished as his hands ran over the thin, soft fabric of the other boy's shirt. Cuddling even closer, Harry slid one of his legs over one of Tom's, the rougher texture against his inner thigh making his over sensitised skin tingle.

Running his hands lazily over the Slytherin's chest, Harry felt it rise and fall rapidly beneath them, heartbeat quickening even more as he caressed him. Having somewhat recovered, Harry looked up at Tom's still dark eyes, before capturing the taller boy's soft lips and pushing him on his back straddling him. The move might have been not as smooth as Tom's had been earlier, but was just as effective.

The kiss was messy and passionate, Tom running his hands over Harry's naked skin trying to get him closer and hips pushing upwards against the smaller boy, seeking friction.

Harry's hands dropped to the shirt that was still between them and fumbled with the few buttons he hadn't torn off before. Although not very practised in undressing anyone except himself, Harry got it open rather quickly. While plunging his tongue deeper into Tom's mouth, having become more skilled at kissing by now, his fingers encountered the slightly different texture of the taller boy's nipples. He would have liked to lick them, but caressed them only briefly before moving his hands to the waistband of Tom's pants.

He could tell by the other boy's heaving chest and frantic jerking of hips that Tom was too close for any explorations, needing relief immediately. Drawing back from the heated kiss, Harry concentrated on getting the zipper open.

When he was finally able to slide his hand inside, Harry knew he had no time to discard the clothes, so he settled for reaching onto Tom's boxers. Obviously the wizarding world had had boxers for a very long time, if Tom already possessed a pair.

Harry's musings were cut short as he encountered the hot, slick flesh and watched in fascination as Tom's head fell back and his hips jerked upwards into Harry's touch. Closing his hand fully around the hardness, he found it smooth and throbbing. It was similar to touching himself, but then again an entirely different feeling.

Giving a gentle experimental stroke, Harry watched Tom writhe on the sheets, seeking more contact, although making no sound. Harry recalled, that expect inside his head, Harry had never heard Tom make any kind of sound when in passion. Had he learned to be silent? Harry obviously wasn't doing anything wrong, if the trembling and shuddering body under his own was any indication.

Stretching out beside the taller boy, not letting go of him, Harry pressed his lips to the spot behind Tom's ear, while starting a slow, but steady rhythm with his hand. The one not stroking the Slytherin had slid up into the hair at the nape of the other's neck. He could feel Tom's pulse racing from there.

_/Harry…/_

Harry closed his eyes, having to fight off his own arousal and concentrating fully on the Slytherin.

"Yes, Tom, say my name.", Harry whispered hotly against the other boy's ear, "But say it out loud. Merlin, I love your voice, Tom, let me hear you…"

_/I-I can't…/_

"Oh, yes you can.", Harry said firmly, grip tightening and his pace quickening, "Let go…"

Tom was gripping onto him so tightly, that he was sure to have bruises there later on, but Harry couldn't have cared less. He sucked on the smooth column of Tom's throat, tasting the salty sweat there, before giving the other boy a gentle squeeze for emphasis.

"Just let go, Tom."

And finally, Tom did. A strangled moan spilled over the Slytherin's lips as he clutched onto Harry even tighter.

"Harry…gods…can't, please…don't stop…", Tom's voice was rough, both with desire and from the strain of having kept silent.

"Yes, just like that.", Harry's grip tightened another fraction as he slid his hand to the tip of Tom's hardness, running his thumb over it gently.

This was obviously all it took for Tom to convulse and shudder beneath him. Hot wetness spilled between them as the Slytherin came with Harry's name on his lips.

_/T/'H'_

Harry cuddled closer, pressing every inch of their naked skin together. He felt Tom drawing the covers more tightly around them, the room having grown chillier as the afternoon had rolled by.

The Slytherin's long fingers were running over his side absentmindedly, when they suddenly stopped moving. They seemed to explore a certain spot and Harry knew what Tom had discovered.

"What happened there, Harry?", Tom asked softy, caressing the thin scars near his ribs.

Harry sighed contently and moved closer still, pressing his lips briefly to the taller boy's pale skin.

"Fell through the balcony door.", he answered simply.

"How?", Harry could practically feel Tom frown deeply.

"Dudley, my cousin, picked a fight with me and when my uncle came to separate us, he pushed me backwards and I lost my balance, falling through the balcony door. Needless to say it shattered and, well, the scars never faded fully."

Harry felt Tom tensing and sighed, looking up at the Slytherin and running a soothing hand over his arm and cheek.

"It's quite all right, Tom.", he tried to calm him, "It wasn't that bad, really."

"Quit the shit, Harry.", Tom said sharply.

Harry winced and a moment later Tom's lips took away the edge of his voice. The Gryffindor gratefully opened his mouth to let the Slytherin's tongue inside his mouth for a gentle, intimate kiss.

"I'm sorry.", the taller boy mumbled gently, "I just have a great desire to skin those damn Muggles alive."

"I love it when you are protective, Tom.", Harry smiled, tone slightly teasing.

"Don't forget overly possessive and jealous.", the other boy mumbled as he nuzzled Harry's neck.

"Tom?"

"Hm?"

"Won't you tell me anything about you?", it was uttered very carefully.

Tom sighed and drew back from Harry's skin, bringing some distance between them. Harry opened his eyes, concerned at the sudden withdrawal.

"Tom? I'm sorry, you don't have to. I didn't want to-"

A pale finger came to rest on his lips, silencing him gently. There was no reproach in the Slytherin's green eyes.

"It's okay, Harry. You have a right to know and-", Tom faltered slightly, but regained his composure quickly, "and I want to tell you."

Harry felt warmth spreading inside of him, as it always did when Tom was being sweet. Not that he was ever going to tell him this, that is.

The Gryffindor reached out and drew the other boy closer again, snuggling against him.

"Thank you, Tom.". he said softly, "This means a lot to me. But we don't have to do it now. Or today even. Just tell me when you are ready."

Tom just nodded, breathing a relieved sigh. He didn't have to tell Harry that he was grateful for putting off the conversation for now.

Both moved deeper into the cocoon they had built as if it would help them to distance themselves from the rest of the world as well.

_/T/'H'_

"Malfoy wasn't at dinner.", Harry said as he closed the door to his, or rather their, room.

Tom materialised beside him the moment the lock clicked into place, immediately cool lips covered his own in a soft kiss.

"I missed touching you.", Tom whispered against his lips.

"Gods, Tom.", Harry laughed softly, "We just got out of bed half an hour ago."

The Slytherin drew him closer, holding him tightly.

"And that's where we'll return to.", he said, kissing Harry's neck.

"You're insatiable!", his voice was turning breathier.

"And you love it."

They kissed again and Harry surrendered willingly, sliding his hands into Tom's hair and pressing their steadily heating bodies closer.

The Slytherin's hands were just about to busy themselves with his shirt, when there was a knock on the door.

Tom drew back and Harry could feel his annoyance through their link. Distantly amused, the Gryffindor gave him a soft chaste kiss before he vanished.

Harry turned to the door just as the knock sounded again and tried to look as normal as possible. Taking a deep breath and licking over his still tingling lips, he opened the door.

As it turned out he needn't have worried so much about his appearance, because as soon as the door had been opened wide enough, a black-brown blur shot through it and into his arms.

Harry stumbled back in surprise, but enclosed the familiar figure in a tight embrace instinctively.

"Hermione.", he said softly, still shocked by the unusual lack of composure from his best friend.

Hermione didn't say anything, a soft sob muffled in Harry's robes as he tightened his arms around the trembling girl and the door was spelled shut by Tom.

He had no idea how long they were standing in the middle of the room, but it took some minutes for Hermione to calm down and draw back from their embrace.

Harry searched through his pockets and wordlessly handed her a handkerchief. She took it with a teary, but grateful little smile and dried her eyes before blowing her nose.

"Thank you.", she said, her voice thick from tears.

"You're welcome.", Harry said softly, "Why don't we sit down so you can tell me what happened?"

Hermione just nodded and let Harry take her arm in a gentle grasp, leading her over to the big comfortable couch by the fire.

They sat in silence for some moments, while the green-eyed boy waited patiently for her to speak. When she finally did, her voice was still rough and she spoke more to her hands than to Harry.

"It's Ron."

Harry was immediately alarmed, the grip he still had on her arm tightening slightly as he tensed.

"What's wrong? Is he hurt?"

Hermione shook her head and made a reassuring gesture with her hand, finally turning her head to meet his eyes.

"No, no, nothing of that sort, Harry. It's just that…oh gods, Harry I'm feeling so utterly stupid!", she got to her feet, her voice raising slightly as she paced to and fro, "There is not one riddle I wasn't able to solve and there is no challenge I'd ever back down from, but I just can't take it anymore! Ever since you've moved here everything is falling apart! You probably never realised, but it's _you_ that keeps us together. We were never meant to be just a team of two, you know. Remember in second year when you and Ron had that awful fight? It was almost the same then. Ron is acting like an ass, because he's missing you and I'm just not enough for him. I could never be enough, Harry! We are constantly fighting and there is no one I can turn to and-and it just-…it hurts so much and…I just don't know what to do…"

Harry was frozen in place. He had never seen Hermione this desperate before, ever. It shook him to the core that he had not noticed anything sooner. He felt sick and his chest had tightened, making it hard for him to breath. Had he really been that closed off from the outside world?

Hermione took another shuddering breath, raising her dark brown eyes to his, the hurt so intense that it made Harry's heart ache.

"I did my best, Harry, really I did but…but I just failed. We miss you, _I _miss you…", she sounded utterly defeated, desperation flashing in her eyes, "Don't-Don't you miss us at all?"

In two strides he was at his best friend's side and wrapped her into a tight hug. Hermione was just as short as he himself and it always had felt comfortable to hold her. With Ron he always felt like a dwarf…

"Of course I miss you.", he said, voice choked, "I'm so very, very sorry that I didn't notice how bad you two were dealing with this. I never wanted you hurt, Hermione, neither of you. Forgive me, I swear I'll spend more time with you. And I'll speak with Ron, I promise."

Hermione's grip on him tightened.

"There is nothing to forgive, Harry, I was never mad at you. We both weren't.", she whispered, "It just felt as though you had forgotten us completely. I never thought it would be like that, I never realised how close we had become and how much we depended on each other. How much _I_ depended on you. And Ron…"

She trailed off and Harry sighed, drawing back slightly to look her in the eyes, gripping her shoulders gently.

"I'll talk to him.", he repeated gently, "Don't take him seriously, Hermione. You know what an ass he can be."

"I thought I did, but this was just too much.", Hermione's voice broke slightly, "Despite what he thinks, I'm not a rock."

Harry wiped away the tear streaks on her face, tucking a bushy lock behind one of her ears affectionately.

"You still haven't told him?"

Hermione shook her head.

"How could I? I was trying so hard to be his friend and he's just such a bastard all the time. As if it were my fault that you had to move from Gryffindor Tower."

"Ron's an idiot.", Harry said firmly, "Sooner or later he'll see exactly what's been in front of him the whole time."

He took her wrist in a firm, but gentle grip and led her back to the couch, pushing her down on it.

"So, and now you'll tell me exactly what I've been missing. I want to know everything!", Harry said, smiling at her teasingly.

Hermione smiled back and shifted into a more comfortable position, already looking cheered up.

"Well, you know I'm not so interested in gossip, but just yesterday Lavender bawled my ear off, because Pansy Parkinson seduced the guy she had been out on a date with last week. I swear I just wanted to pour some sleeping potion down her throat, she was-…"

Harry was pleased to see Hermione finding her way back to her usual talk-active self and made a note to himself to talk to Ron as soon as possible. Tomorrow afternoon, probably.

_/Gods, does she have a button somewhere?/_

'_Play nice, Tom. She was really upset.'_

_/I noticed, believe me, as she was the one interrupting us when things were getting…interesting again./_, Tom said smoothly, _/And just so you know, Harry, it is more probable that Snape shows up in a pink tutu, than me 'playing nice' as you so sophisticatedly put it./_

Harry had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing and thought he might have cracked a rip from the sheer willpower to remain straight-faced.

'_Shut up, Riddle.'_


	17. Chapter 17

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: PG-13 (although i should probably rate this Ch R for the language...)

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hi guys, you still remember me? i'm SOOO sorry for having you kept waiting for so very long, fogive me! i just couldn't get my head to concentrate on the story and other than that had VERY much school work, i hope you're not too angry! i promise the next chapter will be out quicker again.

even if it takes me sometimes longer to update, be assured that i WILL DEFINETELY finish this fic, so no worries!

THANK YOU for all the lovely reviews, all of you, I LOVE YOU, pls keep it up, you know how much i need them!

i won't keep you any longer,

enjoy!

* * *

Harry leaned against the bookshelf exhaustedly. He was beat. The talk with Ron had been more strenuous than he had thought, resulting in Hermione once again bursting into tears and the redhead losing his short temper completely.

Why Ron was being such a jerk was beyond him and although Harry thought that the situation had improved somewhat, the air between Ron and Hermione was still filled with tension.

Merlin knew, he had other things to worry about right now…

"Potter.", a low voice said to his right, making him jump and drop his book bag, whirling around.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Malfoy!", he gasped, falling back against the shelf he had been leaning on, trying to slow his frantic heartbeat, "You nearly killed me!"

The blond aristocrat leaned against the same shelf beside him, casually, looking perfect and in control as ever. There was no trace left from the ghostly white, frail boy near death he had been just three days ago.

In fact he looked so much like the Malfoy that he knew so well, that Harry felt the old familiar feeling of searing dislike bubbling up inside of him.

"So sorry,", the blonde drawled, "I'll be sure to try harder the next time."

Harry clenched his jaw, glowering at the other boy. With great afford Harry dragged his thoughts away from punching the Slytherin and directed them to the much more important fact at hand.

"So, Malfoy, spill.", he said simply.

Malfoy scowled at the command, but knew better than to argue. Folding his arms over his chest in one of his characteristic postures, he slid into an even more comfortable position with his silver eyes trained on Harry intently.

"He's planning something, but wouldn't tell.", he said, voice low but firm, "I assume that he doesn't trust his Death Eaters as much as he used to. Not even my father or Rosier. I can't say for the rat Pettigrew, but be as it may, that wouldn't help us much either, because we all know the bastard is always up the Dark Lord's ass and has no desire to leave it anytime soon."

Harry had to snort at that. He might not like Malfoy much, but the blonde had a way with words, he did give him that.

"If you ask me, he wants some action. Let the whole world finally know how very much alive he is. I guess he's bored by just sitting around and waiting for them to finally figure it out on their own. Bloody idiots, the whole lot of them! With a mind like that they will all die!", the last words were spat out with as much venom as the low voice allowed.

Harry found himself nodding at that. Even though they had an all around battle last term in the department of mysteries, most people didn't take the situation as serious as they should.

He watched as Malfoy took a deep breath and slid back into his usual cool self. A fine strand of blond hair had escaped the strong hold of the gel and Malfoy swept it back into place with practiced ease.

"If you ask me, he wants to target Hogsmead.", the Slytherin continued, "Or maybe even the train, seeing as it is rather unprotected. Christmas is approaching and two and a half months are more than enough for the fucker to form a plan. It's also the time people will be most vulnerable, not to mention the fact that they won't expect an attack so soon. One would think that those useless Aurors had at least some notion of how an actual war looked like. With a mind like that, I'm surprised they survived the last one in the first place."

There was a slight pause and Harry found himself unable to defend his side. Every argument Malfoy brought forth was more than justified.

Maybe 'his side' wasn't his side as much as he once believed. When he looked back at his last years at Hogwarts he discovered that he had quite developed from the small boy foolishly running after Dumbledore and believing in every word the old wizard threw for him out to chew.

Actually having a relationship with Tom Riddle and sending out Draco Malfoy to spy for him weren't really things that he would have done before the start of this term.

At least he could depend on Tom, and as it seemed even on Malfoy. They had both feet firmly planted on the ground and weren't flying in the clouds as most of the people seemed to be doing since Voldemort's return.

Turning Malfoy's words over carefully in his mind, Harry felt Tom shifting as well and doing the same. The Gryffindor had made it clear that the other should stay were he was. He was not going to put up with the two Slytherins bitching at each other again. There were more important things to do than acting like a mother trying to separate wailing children.

Harry had to smile inwardly when he remembered the look on Tom's face when he had said to him as much before they had made their way to the library.

_/He has a point._/, Tom said finally, _/An astounding good point actually. Christmas would be the perfect time for Voldemort's first attack. And we maybe should really consider the Hogwarts Express. I'm positive that he won't go as far as attacking Hogwarts right away./_

Harry mulled over the words before turning his attention back to Malfoy, whose mouth was drawn into a thin line, clearly showing off his impatience.

"Tom says it's probable that Voldemort will attack on Christmas.", he said slowly, "He also says that an attack on Hogwarts is out of the question and your idea about the Hogwarts Express was a good guess."

Malfoy rolled his eyes, his arms shifting slightly before again resting folded over his chest.

"I feel _so_ honoured.", he said scathingly, "Maybe he should rather think about how we should all save our asses."

Harry's brow furrowed and he felt the familiar boil of anger. Malfoy had always managed to make him angry faster than anyone else, except maybe Snape.

Wait a minute: Snape!

"Did Snape get wind of any of this?", the Gryffindor asked, anger momentarily overridden by worry.

"Of course, he said he was ecstatic about the whole thing and that he'd loved to join our little group.", Malfoy bit out harshly.

Harry's hands clenched into fists at his sides. He should have known that talking to Malfoy longer than 15 minutes without feeling the utter desire to throttle him was impossible.

He tried to concentrate on the painful feeling of his fingernails digging into his palms in order to remain calm.

Feeling Tom shift once more, Harry tried to sooth him, knowing the other boy was about to materialise and do what Harry thought about so intently since he had first met the stuck up prick.

'_It's okay, Tom. I'll handle him.'_

To his utter relieve he felt the Slytherin settle back in his mind wordlessly, which didn't mean that he wasn't still alert on emerging the second that Malfoy would cross the thin line.

"If there isn't anything else for me to know than you being the same annoying bastard, get lost.", he gritted out between clenched teeth, "I want you to owl me immediately when you are informed of another meeting. I'll let you know when and where to meet."

Malfoy glared at him, silver eyes boring into him and Harry once again saw this underlying…thing that he wasn't able to read.

"If I were you I wouldn't follow a powerful dark wizard like a love sick puppy, Potter.", he said coolly, "I hate to break the news to you, but the world isn't all rosy and nice. Hasn't your mother told you not to accept sweets from strangers?"

Harry felt the blood rushing through his veins and his chest tightening by the intense mix of emotions. He found it hard to breath and felt the strong hold on his magic slip slightly, causing some of the books on the opposite shelf to tumble down.

Malfoy paid it no heed, his eyes remaining on his own with the same intensity.

"I guess not.", he said softly, "Well, _I'm_ telling you now, Potter, and you better listen to me. Only because he's fucking you, doesn't mean he gives shit about you and if you actually had any brain in your possessed mind, you'd remember that Tom Riddle's strongest weapon is his gift to manipulate and control people. Only because he's distracting you with his dick, doesn't mean he isn't planning anything."

"_Fuck you_.", Harry hissed the same time as Tom materialised, standing in front of him protectively.

A wave of magic hit Malfoy square in the chest and made him stumble back a few steps. If it weren't for the table behind him, he would have probably fallen.

"Get out of my sight before I kill you.", Tom's voice was low, but dangerous and dead serious.

Malfoy straightened, meeting the other Slytherin's blazing green glare with one of his own stubbornly.

"You may have managed to seduce Potter with your sick little mind games, but I won't believe any of it.", the blonde sneered, "Not even if you take me to bed."

Harry fought back his own emotions as he felt Tom's nearly overwhelming both of them.

In one quick motion he had thrown himself in-between the two Slytherins, embracing Tom tightly as he was about to attack Malfoy for real.

When Harry looked up at the taller boy, his eyes were still fixed on Malfoy and the Gryffindor shivered at the intensity of his stare. He wasn't so sure if looks couldn't kill anymore.

Desperate to calm him down, Harry held on even tighter, wrapping both his body and mind around the Slytherin, feeling that Tom was trembling as much as he himself was.

"Tom, please…", he whispered desperately.

This seemed to do the trick as he felt the taller boy relaxing a fraction and looking down at him. The murderous look had vanished and Tom's arms came up to return the embrace, moulding their bodies together fully.

Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw Malfoy giving the boy in his arms another hateful glare, before vanishing from sight.

Relief washed over Harry in a big wave and he collapsed into Tom's arms, both of them still shaken from the intensity of the fight.

Harry closed his eyes and buried himself even deeper into the Slytherin. He had actually been frightened today. Really frightened. He knew without a doubt that Tom would have killed Malfoy if he hadn't put all of his afford into keeping him from doing so.


	18. Chapter 18

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: i'm sorry that i've kept you waiting for SO long!!! i just was, once again, drowning in school work! on top of that i had the chapter nearly finished for forever, but was so utterly displeased with it that i didn't want to post it...then i thought of writing it all anew, but that wasn't the solution either. today i got a surge of inspiration (which i have been waiting for the past month) and FINALLY got around to edit it and actually turned it into something decent.

i really hope you like it! i hope that now my muse won't leave me again so i can post the next chapter more quickly. i hope all of you are still with me.

THANKS for all the reviews, i simply can't believe how many i managed to get, LOVE YOU ALL!!! pls don't forget to let me know how you liked it after this chapter as well!

enjoy!

p.s.: **_Sehkmet of Hades _**left me a review in which she told me that the romance was too rushed. if anyone else is under that impression i'm truly sorry. i actually spent a lot of thought on when things should happen and how. there is actually a reason for anything that happens. as the plot progresses you will see that their relationship is not as established as it might seem at the moment.

she also let me know that i had a very bad grammar...i know that i probably make quite a few mistakes, as english is not my native language, but i really hope that it's not THAT bad...

nevertheless i thank her for the review as well as the critisism. i hope i will do better in the future!

* * *

"Okay, guys, let's call it a night.", Harry said loudly, letting the whistle go and felt it falling into place on his chest. 

Immediately the shouting stopped and all of his 'students' halted their hectic movements, only to start shuffling about the room a moment later and putting different objects back to their original shelves along the walls.

Harry sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose to try and lessen the piercing headache that had plaguing lately. He was exhausted and in desperate need for sleep. In the last three weeks he had not known what to do first.

There was Quidditch and the DA, both exhausting him more than he wanted to admit. Then there where the teachers flooding them with work, trying to cover as much as possible before Christmas break and preparing them for the NEWTs .

And then, of course, there were Tom and Malfoy.

Tom had insisted to train Harry in their spare time. They had started right after the big blow up with Malfoy in the library four weeks ago. Harry was doing quite alright, but Tom was a strict teacher and accepted nothing less than perfect performance.

He seemed to worry that he wouldn't be able to protect Harry someday and tried as hard as possible to drag him up to his level of power.

Having fought for the past four weeks to come even remotely close to that, Harry only then discovered how powerful Tom had been even then with just sixteen years and how much of a dangerous position it would be to stand anywhere else but at his side.

Things with Malfoy were working far better than Harry would have ever imagined possible. The blonde had managed to hold himself in check enough not to manage and piss Tom off again, although the dark haired Slytherin had wanted to blow up on him on several occasions, which Harry fortunately managed to smoothen out.

If Harry didn't know better, he'd say that Malfoy was actually trying not to make his life any harder, but of course this could not be the real reason, could it?

From what the aristocrat had told him, Voldemort was planning his attack, but had left all of his Death Eaters in the dark still.

What made him feel the most uneasiness was the fat that there was still no hint as to who Shadow was and how close the spy actually was to him.

"You know I had no idea you actually knew this spell.", Hermione said from behind him, "It's rather old and not very commonly used."

Harry turned to her slowly, realising that the DA members had already left, leaving him with his best friend. He wondered where Ron was. He had seen awfully little of his other best friend the past month.

"Harry?", the voice made him snap out of his thoughts, "Are you alright?"

Harry waved off Hermione's concern, before rubbing over his face and letting his hand run through his hair in a dishevelled gesture.

"I'm fine, 'Mione.", he answered her finally, attempting a smile, "I'm just really stressed out lately."

Hermione moved forward and placed a hand onto his arm, looking into his eyes intently as if she would be able to read his mind that way.

"Why won't you talk to me, Harry.", it was more a statement than a question.

She knew as well as he did, that he was not going to tell her anything, just as the last few times she had tried to 'help' him.

Not answering her, Harry turned away shrugging off his best friend's arm as he shuffled through a few things that lay still scattered around the room. He had neither the desire nor the energy for any of this right now…

"I saw him, you know."

Harry whirled around staring at her with wide eyes. This, sadly, was one of his weak points. He was distracted far too easily, surprise counting to one of these distractions.

"Who?", it came out as a startled croak.

If Hermione had had any doubt that he was hiding something, then she was definitely not having one left now.

Her dark brows furrowed and she narrowed her brown eyes at him, suspicion written all over her face.

"Malfoy, who else?", she said slowly.

A breath Harry hadn't known he had been holding whooshed out of him and he tried to get his heartbeat to slow again. For a moment he thought that she had seen him with Tom.

Shrugging, Harry tried to put all of his afford into trying to look nonchalant.

"So?", he said, avoiding her eyes by plucking pillows from the ground and putting them back in the right shelf.

It was no secret that he wasn't the best liar. Especially when it came to his friends.

"So?", Hermione asked incredulously, "So what were you doing with that git in the library?"

Straightening, Harry pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What the fuck is your point, Hermione?", the tone was sharper than he had intended, his tiredness wearing down his temper, "We met, he made some sarcastic comments, we insulted each other and both went our ways. You know: the usual."

"It looked less like insulting and more like talking to me.", she continued stubbornly.

Harry turned on her quickly, glaring down at the slightly smaller girl.

"I'm tired out of my fucking mind, Hermione, lay the hell of.", cursing was usually more Ron's style, but Harry probably set more anger free than not while doing it, "I told you and now I'm going to bed."

Brushing past her, Harry had already yanked open the door when Hermione spoke up again.

"You can't avoid answering me forever, Harry!", she accused him hotly.

Turning back, Harry spat out his last words.

"Well if you continue like this, I'll avoid _you_!", and with this he was out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him.

_/T/'H'_

Harry sighed and cuddled closer to Tom as he felt the other boy drawing up the blanket higher and kissing the top of his head.

This was the first time today that Harry was actually able to relax. It annoyed him to no end that he was only able to spend time with Tom at night, when he was already so exhausted that he fell asleep as soon as he crawled into bed with him. Not counting the time the Slytherin was teaching him and he had to concentrate wholly on the task at hand.

In the whole month there had been no time for themselves. Harry was more than frustrated, longing for more than just a few sleepy kisses before giving in to exhaustion.

"Tom?", Harry asked softly, a hand running over the other boy's chest before tangling into his hair.

"Hmm?"

Harry turned slightly, moving closer still to press a hot open mouthed kiss to the side of Tom's neck, smiling when he felt the taller boy shiver lightly.

Shifting slightly, Harry slowly drew one of his legs over one of Tom's, moving it up until his knee pressed gently into the taller boy's groin. He was pleased to feel an immediate reaction and even felt Tom's hips move slightly.

"Harry, you need to sleep.", Tom protested quietly.

Not pausing in his slightly clumsy seduction, Harry moved his hands to Tom's collar, easing the first button open.

"What I need right now, is you, Tom, and nothing else."

The taller boys hands moved to cover his, stilling any movement.

Harry looked down at him, but although Tom's gaze was soft, it was still unreadable. It struck him that even though he had learned a great deal about the Slytherin, and probably knew him better than anyone else ever had, Harry still had no idea what was going on inside of the other boy.

Wordlessly, Tom rolled them over, leaning down for a soft kiss that Harry accepted readily, parting his lips for the hot tongue that traced his lips enticingly.

Harry was pleased to note that, except for Tom's hands, the other wasn't so cold anymore. It seemed that Harry's constant attention and touch had left permanent warmth behind.

Soon all thoughts left Harry's mind and everything that was left behind were Tom's lips on his own and on his face and his neck, pressing insistent kisses everywhere they could reach and licking droplets of sweat. And his hands as they caressed him, wrapped around him, stroked him, coaxing soft whimpers and loud groans from his throat, making his body bend and shift under the taller boy's weight.

And all too soon it was over and Tom's name came out in a muffled gasp between their hungry lips and hot, sticky wetness spilled in-between their still pyjama clad bodies, soiling the soft material of the flannel as well as the sheets they were lying on.

Distantly, Harry thought about what a mess they had made, when only a moment later there was nothing left of it as Tom had spelled them clean and was pulling his smaller form into his arms, holding him tightly.

"You-", Harry made a tired move to reach for the other boy, but his hand was caught and held gently, fingers intertwining.

"Shhh, just sleep."

_/T/'H'_

_/It's on the top shelf./_, Tom said, having spotted the book he had searched for before him.

'_Great.'_, Harry sighed, having just spotted it as well.

He was in the middle of doing homework when he had realised that he was missing one of the books that he needed. He was annoyed as it was and this little fact only worsened his mood.

/Now, Harry, that's a good opportunity for you to practice what I taught you./

He nearly snorted at that. _Tried to teach him_, would have fitted better in the sentence.

Forcing down the sharp comment that was about to force itself out of him, Harry tried to think about all of the things Tom had told him about wandless magic.

After having learned enough new spells to filly a textbook, Tom had decided to proceed and started to train him in wandless magic.

Despite this being something Harry had always wanted to learn, he found that in his constantly exhausted state he was not in the mood for anything besides sleeping. Or maybe some other things, similar to last night, involving Tom, preferably naked, and his bed.

He was still very much annoyed that he had fallen asleep so quickly. What did 'awake' feel like again? He was sure he had forgotten sometime the past weeks.

Fixing the book with his gaze, Harry forced himself to concentrate.

As Tom had explained to him, wizards who weren't trained in wandless magic needed a trigger and this usually was a very intense emotion currently wanting to break out of the caster.

When Harry thought about all the times he had let something explode (or something similar destructive) when his anger had taken over him, he was sure he would manage something.

As always, it turned out to be harder than he had thought. Although Tom told him that he was progressing nicely, the other boy was merciless and wanted him to abandon his dependence on his emotions as quickly as possible. Of course the Slytherin was right. How else would he be able to fight with a cool head?

Trying to get the book to move by will alone, as Tom had told him was the right way of handling wandless magic, Harry became frustrated rather quickly seeing as it only wiggled and didn't move even an inch out of the damn shelf.

In the end this was what triggered his magic and made the book drop from the shelf gracelessly and abruptly.

Still angry, Harry snatched it from the ground harshly. If he had any say in this, this could all go to hell for all he cared!

Harry was actually so angry, that he never noticed the two brown eyes watching the whole scene from behind the opposite bookshelf.

_/T/'H'_

The door fell shut behind him and Harry collapsed against it, closing his eyes and relishing in the smooth solid feeling against his back. He was sure that he wouldn't be able to support himself without it behind him.

Only seconds later he felt Tom materialize in front of him.

"Please tell me there isn't anything I still have to do before going to bed.", Harry pleaded tiredly.

He was utterly sure that he had finally reached his limits. His Saturday way once again a blur of action: homework, training, Quidditch practice…Harry wasn't even sure how much he had done since he had gotten up in the morning.

A gentle hand on his face brought Harry back from nearly falling asleep against the door, long cool fingers caressing his cheek and running through his hair making him lean into he touch.

"Only one more thing.", the other boy answered softly, moving closer.

Harry forced his heavy lids to open and looked up at Tom, who was now so close he could feel the Slytherin's breath on his face.

The taller boy's arms moved around him, his hand dropping from his head, drawing him away from the door and into a secure embrace.

"I haven't been able to kiss you all day.", Tom said softly, slight smile tugging at his lips, "I need to rectify that."

Despite his tiredness, Harry had to smile warmly at that. Leaning into the Slytherin, he titled his head up and their lips met mid-way, Tom having leaned in at the same time as the smaller boy.

Sighing blissfully, Harry closed his eyes and pressed closer parting his lips in invitation, which was taken immediately. He had become so quickly so very much addicted to Tom's lips or his touch…or probably anything that had to do with him. It was still difficult to grasp that fact sometimes.

Tom's tongue moved deeper into his mouth caressing his own gently, distracting Harry from his thoughts. How could anything become unimportant when he was safely in Tom's arms?

Suddenly a loud crash made both of them flinch and part abruptly. The loud noise had been far too close for comfort.

Harry immediately found himself facing Tom's back. The other boy's first reflex having been to push him behind his taller form, shielding him from any possible danger.

But the 'danger' turned out to be-

"Hermione!", Harry gasped, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Hermione seemed to be frozen in place. Her eyes were wide and her mouth open in shock. She was standing in the shattered pieces of the vase she had sent crashing to the floor and her hands clutched nothing other than Harry's Invisibility Cloak.

For a moment the green-eyed Gryffindor was so utterly frozen with surprise that he couldn't even bring himself to be angry. This didn't last long, however.

In fact, he couldn't remember when he had last been this furious with one of his best friends, if ever.

"What did he do to you?", was the only thing the girl seemed to force out of her closed up throat.

"He didn't do anything to me, Hermione.", Harry snapped angrily, "He just-fuck! I can't believe this! What in Merlin's name has possessed you to steal my clock and come snooping through my stuff. _In my own room_!"

Glaring fiercely at Hermione, Harry wasn't even sure if she registered what he had actually said to her. Her gaze was glued to Tom, who had silently stepped aside to let Harry handle the situation. At least for now.

After a brief, thick silence, Hermione seemed to finally snap out of it.

As much as she had clutched the cloak, as if it were her lifeline, her fingers now went slack and the silver material flowed from her grasp as if it were water, pooling at her feet.

"I was worried, Harry, for heaven's sake!", she sounded almost defensive, "And as it seems, I wasn't wrong to be! What the hell are you thinking? Does Dumbledore even know? You could be under some spell for all you know!"

Trying hard not to lose his patience, Harry ran his left hand through his mussed hair in a jerky motion, tugging on it none too gently.

"I'm not under any spell, damn it, and I'm not possessed either!"

"You actually want me to believe that?", his best friend retorted flabbergasted, "You were kissing him! It's only been what – Two months? – since you've had him in your head! And even putting this utterly insane fact aside, he is SOLID for heaven's sake! Do you have any idea how serious this is?! He's Tom Riddle!"

This was followed by an accusing finger thrust into Tom's direction, as if Hermione hoped Harry would understand her better when she underlined her words with vigorous gestures.

"So?", Harry shot back, irritation rising, "It is my room, Hermione! What I do or don't in here is none of you concern! If I decided to snog the entire male population of Hogwarts in here then it would still be none of your damn business!"

Hermione had the decency of looking slightly taken aback. Both by Harry's words and the sharp tone of voice he had used.

"But-"

"No.", Harry interrupted her before she could even start, underlining the words with a firm sweep of his hand, "I won't discuss this with you now. I'm tired and in no mood to try and make you understand. Just get out, we'll talk later."

"Harry, I'm sorry, I-"

"Just go, Hermione.", Harry said softly, exhaustion clear in his voice.

Shutting her mouth, Hermione obviously realised that there would be no explanations for her tonight, so she simply stepped over the Invisibility cloak that she had dropped earlier and made her way over to the door.

Her last glance before exiting was trained on Tom, who held her gaze neutrally.

With the sound of the door closing, Harry let his face drop into his hands.

He didn't protest when Tom came over to wrap him in his arms wordlessly.

"Let's just go to bed."

_/T/'H'_

Watching from her place in the dark, Shadow's eyes followed Hermione down the corridor as the other girl fled Harry's room.

She could tell by the pathetic way the other girl was wiping over her eyes that she was crying.

So weak, so foolish.

She remembered the time when she had been just like this. Always sensitive, always hurting. Pushed around from all sides and weeping pathetically behind closed doors.

Well, now times like this were far behind her. She had sworn herself that she would never go back to the way she had been.

Shadow was strong in magic and had a sharp wit. She could become powerful in ways that silly Hermione Granger never could.

She had learned that letting herself be distracted by emotions, only led to heartbreak.

When she had stumbled across the opportunity in the summer to change all of this, there was no time wasted by accepting the Dark Lord's offer.

Shadow had the chance to become everything she ever dreamed of being by only doing one thing.

She had to sacrifice something that had only brought her pain in the first place: her heart.

Shaking her head to clear it from unimportant memories that she had no power over, Shadow looked back at the closed door of Harry Potter's chambers.

A smile stole it's way to her lips as she realised that the second step in the plan had truly come into action.

Focusing on her magic, Shadow concentrated to trace down this little place in the back of her mind that didn't belong to her, jabbing at it harshly with her magic and pleased when she felt it jerk away in obvious discomfort and pain.

_-/-Get down to our usual meeting place. Now. Granger just left Potter's room, we need to discuss the next step.-/- _, Shadow said sharply.

_--Fuck you! --_, the familiar voice answered her, always trying to defy her but knowing that there was no chance that the other really could, --_It's fucking half past eleven in the night! I had Quidditch practice today, I want to sleep! --_

_-/-Don't make me wait.-/- _, Shadow said simply before cutting off the connection abruptly.

She was already used to her servant's fiery temper and absolute unreasonable behaviour. Be that as it may, the other had no choice but to follow her lead. She was one of the main characters in this game and would do anything to reach her goal.

How very fortunate that Harry Potter was such an utter imbecile. He had all the Gryffindor traits which made him easy to catch. There was the courage that bordered on foolishness, the utter devotion and loyalty to the persons he loved and, of course the most important thing, his disposition to trust easily and quickly.

Voldemort had chosen the perfect little squad to hit all of this obvious buttons so effectively that Potter would fall apart so completely that there will be no hope of him ever recovering again.


	19. Chapter 19

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R (probably for language)

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: THANKS for ALL the fabulous reviews! i hope this chapter is to your liking and i keep you on your toes ;).

i'm trying to make the chapter longer, so i hope it's reasonable lentgh :).

pls keep reviewing, i love you all!!!

enjoy!

* * *

"Christ, Potter!", Malfoy greeted him, "You look like shit."

"Thanks a lot, Malfoy.", Harry said tiredly.

He didn't really feel rested and the fight with Hermione lay heavy on his heart. He hadn't wanted to throw her out like that, but he'd been so angry that she had so blatantly ignored his right for privacy.

His whole life he had spent with the Dursleys, who never wanted him to have anything of his own and as soon as he did, they had taken it away. Now it felt as if Hermione had betrayed his trust and, most importantly, thought he wasn't capable of deciding what was best for him. Didn't she know that he had been forced to grow up much quicker than anyone else?

Shaking his head to clear it, Harry looked back up at Malfoy.

"So you got any news?", Harry wanted to go back to bed.

"Nothing much.", the blonde said, "Only that he ordered me to stay over Christmas break."

Harry frowned.

"Do you think this has anything to do with the attack?"

"Probably."

Harry sighed and leaned against one of the bookshelves, feeling utterly spent.

"We should find a new place to meet.", he said, repeating Tom's earlier thoughts.

They had had a conversation just before the Slytherin had retreated to the back of his mind to sleep.

"You think anyone suspected?", the blonde asked with a frown.

"Hermione did see us sometime ago.", Harry admitted, eyes closed.

"What did you tell her?"

Harry could feel Malfoy's presence beside him and knew that the other boy had come over to follow in Harry's wake and lean against the shelf.

"That we were arguing."

"And she bought it?"

"Probably not.", Harry sighed, "She practically broke into my room last night. I'd never thought she would do anything like that."

"No shit. I didn't know she had it in her.", Malfoy sounded vaguely impressed.

"She found out about Tom.", the words were out before Harry could really think about what he was saying.

He had no idea why he felt so at ease with Malfoy. Harry just had been so hurt by what Hermione had done and somehow not been able to talk to Tom about the whole thing.

He hadn't said much since last night and Harry had felt lonelier than he had in a very long time.

"You're fucking kidding.", though his voice was calm, it sounded tight.

Harry reopened his eyes and turned his head to Malfoy, whose whole posture had tensed.

"Do I look like I would make jokes about something like that?", he snapped irritably.

"Fuck.", the blonde cursed, pushing himself away from the shelf and started pacing in front of the Gryffindor, "Now you'll only have to sit back comfortably until Dumbledore pays you a visit and milks you about all of this."

Harry's chest tightened. He hadn't even thought about that!

"She wouldn't do that!", he probably sounded surer than he actually felt.

Malfoy stopped abruptly, standing close and looking him straight in the eye.

"You are so sure about that?", he asked, "Because, frankly, if you were my best friend I wouldn't let you run into that fucking trap either."

Harry's brow furrowed.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Are you really that dumb or do you just act it?", Malfoy bit out harshly, "Don't you see what he's doing to you? He uses you! When was the last time you did anything for yourself! He's ordering you around while Voldemort has all the time in the world to plot away and finally not be afraid that you would discover him because you are _too fucking blinded_!"

Harry stared at him in shock. Thinking about what the other had said, he felt himself shaking at the truth behind Malfoy's words.

But Tom would not betray him,...or would he?

Harry had been so sure that the other had started to feel something for him. Everything had felt so sincere and Tom had been so gentle.

On the other hand, when he thought back to the last month, Harry had to admit that Tom had somewhat changed.

They talked less and had none of the interesting discussions they had had in the beginning of their...relationship. Even the way they kissed or the way Tom touched him had changed somehow, even though Harry could not quite put a finger on it.

"That's not true.", he finally managed to get out, but instead of sounding convinced, like all the times before when he had defended Tom, his voice was awfully small.

"Oh yeah?", Malfoy obviously wasn't about to back down, "Then tell me, Potter, isn't it true that you have a bond with Voldemort?"

Completely confused at the random question, Harry frowned.

"It is."

"And, from what I gathered, you have dreams about him. What he is doing or planning."

Although none of it sounded like an actual question, Malfoy obviously wanted him to confirm what he was telling him.

"Yes."

"You even get flashes during the day, when the Dark Lord is experiencing strong emotions."

"Yes.", Harry said, shuddering at the memory.

He could think of quite a few times, where the emotions had nearly forced him to his knees. Even though anger and hatred were the emotions he mostly received, the one he dreaded the most was the feeling of pleasure when Voldemort had tortured or killed someone. Only this feeling was able to make him empty his stomach every single time.

"When was the last time you have felt any of these things?", Malfoy pushed on.

Harry's frown deepened, thinking about it for the first time.

"Two months ago, probably.", he said thoughtfully, "Since Tom helped me with my nightmares."

"Exactly.", the blonde folded his arms, "And do you actually think that the Dark Lord has suddenly decided to be all nice and regretful and to not kill or torture anyone anymore? That he stopped feeling anger, anticipation or...pleasure?"

Harry was silent, finally realizing what Malfoy was trying to tell him.

"Now you finally realize it.", the Slytherin said softly, "Riddle didn't_ protect _you, he practically cut you off from the Dark Lord to keep you in the dark about his actions."

Something in Harry snapped.

"No.", he said firmly and this time he meant it, "That's not true, Malfoy. You don't know anything about him, so just shut the fuck up alright!"

Malfoy's jaw tightened, but he didn't blow up at him as Harry had expected. Instead he straightened, his silver eyes boring into him intently.

"Think about it, Potter.", he said, "That's all I want you to do."

And then, just like that, Malfoy turned and vanished between the bookshelves into the direction of the exit, leaving an utterly shaken Harry behind.

"Well, well, well, look what the wind blew in. If it isn't our long lost housemate.", the voice had a hostile undertone that Harry had only ever heard directed at Slytherins before.

He actually trembled when he stood in the middle of the Gryffindor common room for every one of his housemates to openly stare at him.

It almost felt like a lifetime since Harry had actually been a part of this whole group.

"Hello, Seamus.", Harry greeted quietly.

Seamus' studied him with ice blue eyes, his expression one of silent anger. If the tone of his voice hadn't already told Harry that, his eyes would have now.

"What happened that the great Harry Potter actually graces us with his presence for once?", Seamus bit out.

When Harry had finally gathered his courage to venture into the common room he had not expected a warm welcome, but this definitely was far colder than he had thought.

Harry felt vulnerable and uncomfortable with having every gaze in the room trained on him. He had never liked much attention and could already feel the palms of his trembling hands begin to sweat.

Distractedly he rubbed them against the side of his robes to get rid of the unwanted perspiration before pushing his right hand into his hair in a characteristic gesture that always seemed to give away when he was confused or nervous.

Thinking hard about what to actually say, Harry let his gaze wander, searching for support.

With practiced ease he found another pair of blue eyes, this one much more familiar than Seamus' and froze.

"Lay off, Seamus.", the voice that spoke was not the one Harry had hoped to hear.

Turning his head to the right slightly, he saw Ginny glaring at Seamus.

She looked even paler than he remembered and was suddenly, painfully, reminded that something had been wrong with Ginny lately.

Somehow seeing her at the DA and across the Gryffindor table had not really been enough for him to actually keep track of her troubles.

If Harry was honest with himself, it had been quiet some time since he'd last sat on the Gryffindor table and when teaching in the DA there had never been time for an actual conversation with any of his friends. The same went for Quidditch.

"What? You still in his fan club? I'm shocked!", Seamus mocked and several students laughed.

Finally there was a reaction from person that the other pair of bright blue eyes belonged.

"Get a fucking grip, Seamus!", Ron snapped at his housemate.

Harry knew by the way Ron's body had tensed up that he was about to jump up. His height was something his best friend always used to his advantage.

A small hand landed on Ron's knee and Harry saw Hermione whispering something to calm the aggravated teen. It obviously worked and when she turned to Seamus, brown eyes boring into him as well, the Irish-boy finally relented and backed off.

Harry felt pathetic. Couldn't he even defend himself anymore? What the hell had happened to him?

Turning to look at his two best friends, he felt almost to exhausted and drained to go though with what he had actually intended.

Ron's eyes locked with his and Harry became aware of the aching whole inside of him where he knew that Ron had been missing from his life lately. How come he never had realized how much he'd actually missed him until right at this moment?

While Harry still fought with his pounding head to come up with something to say to him, Ron got up from his place in between Hermione and Ginny on the couch and slowly came over to him.

"So…", the redhead started slowly, carefully observing Harry's every move, "you want to get out of here?"

Harry looked at him with wide eyes, before he felt a small smile curving his lips.

"Hell yes.", he breathed, the two words sounding like a sigh of relieve.

"I didn't think you'd actually talk to me.", Harry said quietly as he stroked Hedwig, who sat on his arm.

Ron studied him, arms folded in front of his chest.

"I didn't either.", he said and it sounded honest, "I was so fucking angry at you, Harry. I almost doubted that I could ever even say one word to you without biting your head off or screaming myself hoarse."

Harry let Hedwig go and turned his fully attention to his best friend, who stood some three feet away from him.

He should be surprised that Ron wasn't already flying off the handle, but strangely, Harry wasn't.

"So why aren't you?"

"I don't know.", the youngest Weasley boy shrugged, "Maybe because I missed you like hell."

Harry's eyes snapped up from where they had been when Ron had said the first part of his answer.

It was one thing hearing it from Hermione and an entire different thing hearing it from Ron himself.

Before giving himself time to change his mind, Harry closed the space between them and wound his arms around the tall boy in an awkward hug.

Ron stiffened slightly, before relaxation seemed to seep back into his muscles and his long arms hesitantly came up to close around his much smaller frame.

Closing his eyes, Harry dared to bury himself even deeper into the warm arms of his best friend, keeping the chill from the Owlery from seeping through his clothes.

Despite having been best friends for six years, Ron had never been one for casual touches or hugs. Their physical contact had been limited to squeezes to the shoulders or patting on the backs.

In all this years they had hugged only two or three times, not counting the few times Hermione had engaged them into a 'group hug', and even then it had never been like this. Ron's hugs had always been awkward and too forceful, with their groins a foot apart and the redhead slapping him on the back or patting him briefly before letting go almost immediately again.

Harry had always respected Ron's wish for space and had never pushed him into anything he felt uncomfortable with. He held himself back and saved the touches and hugs for Hermione.

The bushy haired girl had always welcomed all of Harry's touches and seemed to enjoy reciprocating them. Hermione being Hermione had probably figured Harry's need to touch and be touched out of some psychological tome.

Either way, Harry didn't care and was happy to receive loving attention after years of being deprived of it completely.

Now Ron didn't seem to mind Harry hanging all over him, even held him in return. Harry had only one reasonable explanation for this: Ron had actually really missed him terribly.

"I missed you, too.", Harry mumbled into his best friend's faded robes.

Breathlessly leaning against each other, Harry felt all of his facial muscles aching. It had been far too long since he had laughed. There was no one that could make him laugh like Ron did. It was one of the first things he had discovered about him.

"And what happened then?", Harry asked curiously, grinning like a maniac.

"Then…", Ron made a dramatic pause, "Hermione came in and we had to blow the whole thing off…"

Harry smiled weakly, but sobered quickly enough when the name of their best friend was mentioned between them for the first time that day.

They had been talking for hours, but nevertheless things had been kept lightly. It was almost as if they had made a silent agreement to forget about all the serious stuff that seemed to hover around them for the time being.

"Did you talk to her?", Harry asked, slightly unsure.

"More like she came to me and cried her eyes out. She feels really shitty about that fight you had, mate."

"Me too…", Harry confessed, "I didn't want to be so harsh, but she really made me angry this time. I couldn't believe that she had snuck behind my back."

"You should just talk to her."

"I know..."

When Harry arrived back in his room late that night, his heart felt lighter and he looked forward to a good night of sleep.

Ron had been able to make him forget about his conversation with Malfoy this morning. He still wasn't sure what to think about all of this and wanted to give his aching head a rest.

Actually Harry only remembered this kind of intense headaches from when Tom and he had not been able to get along.

Since they had become…whatever they had become, Harry had never had any headaches again. Until now that is.

Turing from closing the door, Harry was already loosening his tie when he saw Tom sitting in one of the armchairs by the fire.

Harry jumped in surprise.

"Shit, Tom!", he said impulsively, heart racing as the green eyes so like his own bore into him from across the room.

Tom rose slowly from the chair, expression unreadable. Nevertheless Harry felt a shiver run down his spine and he felt the urge to step backwards.

"I see you are back from your little excursion to Gryffindor tower.", the taller boy said quietly coming closer.

Harry felt like mouse getting cornered by a poisonous snake and this time he did take a step back, bumping into the closed door behind him.

Frowning Tom closed the space between them and though trying not to, Harry flinched when the Slytherin reached out to touch him.

Tom's hand was colder than he ever remembered and he felt another shiver run down his spine, followed by goosebumps all over his body.

"What's wrong?"

"I-Nothing.", Harry swallowed and looked up at the other boy, "Your hands are cold."

"It's because you are withdrawing from me.", Tom said quietly.

For the first time Harry could detect some emotion in his green eyes as well as his voice. It sounded like – hurt? Fear?

Harry's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak only to realize that he had no idea what to say.

Reaching out he carefully cupped Tom's face between his palms. Feeling the icy skin warming between his fingers, Harry's heart ached. He had never meant for something like this to happen.

He had never wanted them to be this way, but he also had no idea what had happened over the last month to result creating this unbearable distance between them.

When Tom leaned in closer to press their foreheads together, Harry realized for the first time that he hadn't been the only one hurt by how things had been lately.

All the former doubts Malfoy and Hermione had planted were suddenly forgotten as Harry's hands slid over Tom's pale neck to wind around his shoulders.

He felt the Slytherin's arms slide around him in turn and felt him tilt is head slightly to brush their cheeks together before burying his face into Harry's warm neck.

"I'm sorry.", Harry whispered, closing his eyes and holding on tightly.

_/Me too./_

Even though not having said it out loud, Harry knew how difficult it was for Tom to express feelings like that.

Both of them reached out for each other mentally at the same time and Harry felt his insides flooded with warmth. Tightening his hold on the taller boy, Harry felt Tom doing the same.

As if by a great wave, his headache was swept away along with his doubts and all that remained was a distant memory.


	20. Chapter 20

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: a big THANK YOU to all of my reviewers! i love you!

i'm sorry that it took so long for me to update, but i was in greece for a month and had no internet there (shudder, i nearly died). well, i just returned yesterday evening and posted as soon as i could.

i was trying to be really quick, so i hope there are not TOO many mistakes. as you know, i have no beta reader.

i think i managed to improve my style a bit over the break of the month and hope you like it. the plot slowly starts to thicken and soon there will be more action, i promise.

i really hope everything works out the way i want it too, i've rather big plans still and i don't want to even think about how long the story will become...

despite all that please stay with me, without you i really have no chance of finishing. please keep reviewing!

for now,

enjoy! (i'll try to updat as soon as i can)

* * *

Harry was slightly exhausted when he returned from another trip to Gryffindor tower the following night. The temperature outside was dropping more and more. Despite the low degrees however, snow didn't seem to come. 

The castle was cold and the corridors darker than usual. Filch was nowhere to be seen, neither were Mrs. Norris or any of the ghosts.

It had taken a long talk with Hermione to get their friendship back on track, leaving him drained and with an uncomfortable headache. Harry longed for a hot shower and warm bed. What worried him most, was that Ron still had no idea what was actually between him and Tom and this thought seemed to constantly hover in the back of his mind, making him feel all the more guiltier.

He couldn't seem to shake the terrifying notion off, that somehow with him changing, Ron had been left somewhere on the side of the road and was not able to catch up with Hermione and him. The feeling scared him more than anything else.

Loosing his best friends had always been one of his greatest fears, but now as much as he wanted to prevent it, things were simply slipping through his fingers as much as he tired to hold on.

As he walked down the deserted corridor, Harry tried to ignore the familiar tingling along his spine, hat indicated that he was being watched. Every shadow seemed to be staring back at him and despite his mind being preoccupied, the Gryffindor could not get rid of the uneasy feeling that had so suddenly gripped him.

Concentrating instead on his footfalls, Harry decided he was simply being paranoid and by reaching his door the green-eyed got ready to spell it open, when suddenly a cold hand gripped his shoulder from behind.

Harry nearly jumped from his skin and instincts that had been forced upon him from day one at the Dursley's kicked in quicker than his heartbeat sped up. With some undefinable strangled sound, the Gryffindor whirled around, wand raised, effectively knocking the creepy hand from his shoulder.

What actually greeted him was nothing other than the familiar sparkling blue eyes behind half-moon glassed he had come to know so well over the past few years.

"Headmaster.", Harry croaked, willing his right hand to drop to his side, wand still clenched in his slightly damp palm.

He felt a sudden urge to let the hysteric laugh past his dry throat that had bubbled up inside of him as soon as his aching head had bombarded him with ridiculous memories of the horror movies Dudley had always liked to watch when his parents hadn't been home.

The old wizard studied him carefully over the rim of his glasses and Harry felt the familiar feeling of being x-rayed by the intensity of his gaze.

Calming slightly, Harry fought back the urge to frown. It had actually been awfully long since he had last talked to, or even _seen_ Dumbledore.

He had all but forgotten about the headmaster maybe wanting to check up on him.

"I'm sorry to have startled you.", Dumbledore said, smiling apologetically, "And your surprise to see me is well founded. I was quite busy these past two months. I hope you can forgive my lack of presence. Is there maybe a chance that you would invite me inside so we could have that long overdue talk?"

Having watched one of the headmaster's white eyebrows rising along with the words spoken, Harry marveled that Dumbledore was probably the only one he knew that could phrase a demand like a request and even after knowing him for years, he was still impressed by the old wizard's verbal skills.

Nodding obediently, Harry turned to open the door to his room and held it open for the headmaster.

"Thank you.", Dumbledore offered politely as he brushed past his smaller form into the room, his long midnight blue robe whirling up dust in it's wake.

"Please take a seat.", Harry gestured towards the couch and armchair in front of the fire place with one hand as he closed the door with the other, furiously thinking abut what mindless chit-chat he could throw the other wizard's way, "I would offer you tea, but seeing as I have no access to the kitchens from here…"

"Don't worry about that, my boy.", Dumbledore said gently, waving his wand that had appeared out of nowhere and conjuring a steaming pot with two cups, accompanied by sugar and milk.

Harry's hands were warm and damp and he absently rubbed them against his robed knees as he took a seat across from the headmaster.

Dumbledore's visit shouldn't really surprise him. When he had moved to this room, he had been sure that the headmaster would be checking on him all the time, nevertheless something about the headmaster's presence made him squirm uncomfortably. It was something that he had never felt in the other wizard's company before.

Harry watched the old wizard carefully as he added an awful amount of sugar and a bit of milk to his tea. He was annoyed with himself by his sudden weariness of a man he had been so fond of not long ago and wondered why everyone of his inner alarm bells where shrilling at him furiously.

"So how can I help you, Professor?", he asked, taking a deep breath, trying to sound neutral.

He expected Dumbledore to fall into some long winding conversation, of which half had nothing to do with the actual reason for his visit, and was seriously surprised when the headmaster actually answered him in one sentence.

"I have heard some worrisome news just this morning.", the old wizard said slowly, as if to make up for his uncharacteristically quick response, taking a sip from his cup, "Concerning Voldemort and his plans."

Feeling suddenly cornered, Harry busied himself with making his own cup of tea to keep his hands moving, effectively conceiving any sign of nervousness. He concentrated hard on everything Tom had so desperately tried to learn him about control and hiding emotions.

"Oh?"

Harry was utterly proud of the way his brow rose in interest, but any other feeling was expertly hidden away behind a very thin, but persistent wall.

Taking another sip of his tea, Dumbledore placed the cup on its saucer with unneeded care. His blue eyes rose once more to meet Harry's own over the rim of his spectacles, resulting in making the stare more penetrating as it was not shielded by glass.

Harry was almost sure that the old wizard was aware of the new founded wall and absolutely determined to tear it down before it had actually managed to be stead fasted.

"It seems that Voldemort plans to attack Hogsmead sometime before Christmas Eve."

Harry allowed the shock to seep through, hands clutching the delicate china in his hands and hearing it crunch under his brutal assault as if it grunted in actual pain.

Although this revelation wasn't any news to him, the fact that Dumbledore knew indicated that Voldemort had informed his followers of more exact plans. Harry couldn't seem to decide if this was more unsettling or rather in their favour.

"So what are we going to do?"

Dumbledore looked at him intently, not one twinkle apparent in his blue stare. It made Harry's stomach lurch. Literally.

"That is what I came to tell you, Harry.", he said, voice slightly sterner than usual, "You will remain in the castle with all of the other students until after Christmas."

Harry's brows furrowed involuntarily. This was a joke, right?

"What?", he uttered, the undertone biting.

Leaning back into the cushions of the armchair, Dumbledore brought the tips of his fingers together, his gaze never wavering.

"I know you, Harry. You are very brave, but at the same time unfortunately rash in your actions. We both know that.", he said softly, as if to soothe a wild animal, "I want you, no I actually beg you, for once to do what I'm telling you. Please keep out of this. We need to concentrate on the fight. If you were present we would have to concentrate on protecting you, Harry."

Surely Dumbledore wasn't serious! What the hell did they think he was? Some stupid inexperienced child? If it weren't for him, Voldemort would rule the world by now!

_-Yeah, and if it wasn't for you, he wouldn't have a body now either and the Diggories would still have a son. Oh, and let's not forget another little detail: Sirius._

Harry felt suddenly sick and bile started to rise in is dry throat. Despite the coldness of the castle he felt sweat breaking out along his brow.

_Shut up!_

_-Screaming won't help you, you'll still know I'm right._

Clutching his stomach, Harry was aware that Dumbledore was about to reach out to him, when suddenly a hectic sounding voice spoke up and the old wizards pale hand drew back abruptly.

"Headmaster!"

The Gryffindor almost jumped from his skin, nearly dislocating his collarbone as he whipped his head around to look at the painting behind him on the wall.

It was the portrait of a middle-aged man with brown hair and dull eyes. He looked so insignificant, that Harry had never paid him any attention before.

The shock of his sudden appearance was enough to fight the last of his nausea down and he hastily pushed a hand through his damp hair, calming himself resolutely.

"Whatever is the matter, Jerome?", Dumbledore asked smoothly, but at closer inspection it was as if Harry could detect a trace of stiffness in the set of the old wizard's shoulders.

"You are needed in your office this very instant, sir. He has returned.", Jerome said, obviously trying not to give anything away by the tone of his voice.

Dumbledore's form stiffened even more and quicker than Harry would have thought, the headmaster had risen to his feet and gathered his long robe around him.

"I'm sorry for this interruption, Harry, I do hope we can continue this talk sometime later.", Dumbledore said, already walking over to the door, "Please keep in mind what I told you."

Not even having the time to nod, Harry only watched the door close behind he headmaster.

Frowning, Harry turned back around, looking intently at the now vacated painting.

"I can't believe this manipulative fool."

Glancing to his right, Harry took in the tight way Tom's jaw was set and how his eyes were ablaze with fury as he looked at the same spot Harry had a moment ago.

"You don't really think…?", Harry trailed off, not wanting to believe what was directly before his eyes.

Would Dumbledore really set a painting up to spy on him? And if that were so, that would mean that he knew about Tom. So why hadn't he said anything about him?

Tom turned to him, giving him a hard look, as if to chide him for his naivety.

"I told you before, but I will tell you again, if that's what it takes for you to finally believe me. You don't know Dumbledore the way I do and you have to finally understand that there are no rules in a war. Whenever there is something to be gained for your advantage, you take it, no matter the cost."

The Slytherin's voice had softened somewhat at the end and Harry felt like a child and hated it.

It reminded him of the way Dumbledore always talked to him.

Turning his back to Tom, he thought about what the other boy had said. As always he was right, of course, but it still stung to be treated like a little kid.

His nerves were strung tight as it was and his headache had only increased. Every hope of a quiet night had been blown even before he had set foot in his room.

Instead of things getting better, Harry seemed to discover more and more unsettling facts. First the painful realization about Ron, now finding out that Dumbledore obviously was going behind his back.

Then there was Shadow, the name horribly fitting, because the spy's presence seemed to hover above him constantly.

Long arms wrapped around him from behind before Tom's lips pressed a gentle kiss to the side of his head.

Harry sighed and despite his former displeasure, melted into the taller boy's embrace. It just felt so good not to be alone, to be touched and looked after.

"You are no child, Harry, neither are you naïve or stupid.", the taller boy said softy, breath hot against his ear, "You just have a lot to learn, that's all. I just want you safe and for that I have to make you see that you have to be very careful if you want to put your trust into someone. It keeps you from getting hurt."

Harry's, dare he admit it, childish anger was washed away by Tom's gentle words. He knew that it had been unfounded in the first place and was annoyed with himself, more than anything else.

"That won't happen.", Harry said softly, turning in the taller boy's arms to slip his own around Tom's waist and lean into his chest, eyes closed and face turned into the Slytherin's neck, "Not as long as I've got you to protect me."

Tom didn't answer verbally, only backed off slightly in order to look deeply into his eyes, his hands sliding up to hold the smaller boy's face in his hands, his thumbs gently caressing the skin under his fingers.

Harry may still not be able to read anything in the other boy's eyes, but he could see the softness of his gaze when the Slytherin looked down on him.

The kiss that followed came naturally, Tom leaning down to make it easer for Harry to accept it.

Hot breath mingled and tongues met as their bodies pressed closer. The Gryffindor sighed and tightened his hold on the taller boy as the Slytherin's hands ran down his back, caressing his skin through the thick fabric of his robe.

Harry shivered slightly and pressed closer, letting his hands slide into Tom's thick black hair and gently urging him further down to deepen their kiss.

Lately he had been starved for the other boy's touch, but there never seemed to be enough time. Since the one and only time Harry had spent in bed with Tom, he had wanted to do it again. He wanted Tom, period.

The Slytherin's tongue delved deeper into his mouth, brushing against the roof of his mouth, while his hands sought a way under Harry's clothes.

The Gryffindor could already feel all of his blood rushing south and passion pooled in his stomach. His lungs were screaming for oxygen and he had to let their lips part enough to draw in some much needed air.

Tom's lips slid down to his throat and Harry could feel skillful fingers loosening his belt and tugging at the front of his pants.

Feeling faint, Harry whimpered and tried to focus enough to get rid of his fogged glasses.

A moment later, the glasses were on the floor and Tom's hands were caressing his naked stomach, fingers slowly inching their way under the waistband of his boxers.

Their lips found each other again and Harry nearly tore the Slytherin's shirt as he clutched it tightly in his trembling hands. He felt so very hot, could feel the fabric of his shirt sticking uncomfortably to his back because his heavy winter robe created a much too warm cocoon for his ever rising body temperature.

Tom sucked on his bottom lip, his tongue tracing it before seeking out his own once more. His fingers delved deeper and Harry could nearly feel them touching his hard flesh, he was so close, so very close…And the need was so great that it felt as if liquid fire was running through his veins.

Harry wanted to touch the other boy, too, his hands screaming to the Slytherin's skin, but his brain was clouded, every rational though unable to stay long enough so he could focus on it.

But then suddenly Tom's hands were gone, as was his mouth and Harry felt dizzy, the room spinning around him and his vision blurry because of the lack of his glasses.

Holding onto the Slytherin tightly to blink away the haze of passion, he tried to get his mind to form coherent thought once more, but all he could think was…

…why…?

Distant hammering found a way through his foggy state and first he thought it was his throbbing head, but then realized that it was actually someone at the door.

So this was the reason. Someone had found this exact bloody moment to start rampaging outside his room.

He could have screamed in frustration. Wouldn't they ever get a moment's peace?

Running his hands through his damp hair, Harry tried to calm his breathing as he reached down automatically to straighten his clothes and redo his pants and belt.

Tom studied the door for a moment, a slight frown on his face, as he straightened his own shirt.

"It's Malfoy."

Harry wasn't sure he had fully grasped the meaning of Tom's words, his mind still too far gone. What he did know was that at the moment he didn't care if it was the Queen that had interrupted them, he was simply frustrated and on edge.

He turned to go to the door, but Tom stopped him, drawing his smaller form back against him.

Looking up, Harry had to smile despite himself as the taller boy placed his glasses on his nose, kissing him chastely before letting him go.

Wordlessly Harry made his way over to the door. Whoever was outside, was still pounding against it relentlessly.

Opening it, the Gryffindor froze as he looked at the disheveled figure before him.

Whatever Harry had expected to find on the other side, this surely had not been it.

It was Malfoy alright, but he looked like Harry had never seen him before. Not even on the night he had almost died.

His hair was falling into his face as if the blonde had repeatedly run his hands through it, making the gel useless that usually held it in place. He was shaking all over and his lips looked as if he had bitten them mercilessly, even bleeding slightly.

But of all this things, what shocked Harry the most was the stormy look in Malfoy's silver eyes and the unusual wetness he could detect there.

"My god, Malfoy.", Harry managed to get out, "What happened?"

Malfoy opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out. More liquid gathered in the blonde's eyes and instead of speaking, he pressed his lips together tightly, obviously holding back some desperate sound the Gryffindor was sure had nearly escaped him.

Not knowing what else to do, Harry stepped back slightly, opening the door wider.

"Why don't you come inside?", his voice was softer than he ever remembered when talking to the aristocrat.

Malfoy only nodded slightly and slowly, shakily stepped into the room. Harry closed the door softly, thinking hard what to do about the obvious hurting Slytherin.

Never in a million years would he have thought that one day he would whacker his brain for a way to comfort Malfoy of all people.

Turning back towards the Slytherin, Harry way about to utter some pathetic line about sitting down and some other lame words other people usually used on him when something bad had happened, when Malfoy, to Harry's deep and utter shock, simply collapsed into his arms.

The unexpected force sent Harry crashing back into the door, but Malfoy didn't even seem to notice as he buried his now wet face into Harry's neck and clutched his robe desperately.

Not knowing what else to do, the Gryffindor carefully raised his arms to hold the blonde awkwardly.

Malfoy was taller than Harry, but his build was just as fragile as the dark haired boy's and Harry could feel how thin and weak the blonde was.

Over his shoulder he could see Tom, who was standing stiffly on the same spot as before, his expression unreadable.

Harry tried to reassure him with a soft look. He knew that the other boy was anything but fond of Malfoy, but Harry simply hadn't got the heart to push the blonde away.

He'd just have to deal with Tom later, although he hated it when the Slytherin was in one of his moods.

With effort Harry broke their gaze and turned his attention back to the shaking boy in his arms.

Somehow over the past month his hatred for the blonde had simply been left behind. It didn't mean that they were friends or anything, but somehow the very idea of them maybe becoming exactly that was not so far fetched anymore.

There were levels on which the Slytherin understood him that no one else ever had. And despite disliking him in the past, Harry had never denied the fact that he knew that he was utterly intelligent.

And sometimes there was something in Malfoy's eyes that he couldn't read, but made his stomach flutter in a strange way. It was this something that had made Harry give him a second chance and allowed them to find some common ground.

Nevertheless, Harry knew that there were still a lot of things the blonde hadn't told him, the only difference to the past was, that he was not so unwilling to find them out anymore.

Trying to sooth the Slytherin with a clumsy caress to his back, Harry focused on the taller boy with sincere concern.

"My father.", Malfoy finally managed to force out between choked breaths and maybe even sobs.

Despite never having liked Lucius Malfoy, Harry felt as if someone had poured ice into his body. He could still recall the feeling of utter devastation he had been in when he realized that Sirius was gone.

It was something he wished not even on his worst enemy.

Involuntarily tightening his grip on Malfoy, Harry tried to fight down his own despair at the memory of his godfather.

But as much as he hoped, Harry's prayers were not heard.

"He's dead."


	21. Chapter 21

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: THANK YOU for all the lovely reviews! i'm SO glad you all like the story!

i'm SO sorry that i had to kill Lucius, i really love him...but it was very esential for the plot, so forgive me.

so please keep up the reviews!

lots of love &

enjoy!

**Lia3 **_fist i want to thank you for your review, i'm so glad you like it!_

_As to your question:__Harry has his own room for exactly these two reasons, because Dumbledore wants to keep him isolated in case Tom possesses him and to be able to spy on him (i mentioned it in the previous chapter: the portrait of Jerome. it will become more of an issue later on :) ._

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After Malfoy had finally fallen asleep on the couch, Harry carefully covered him with some thick blankets, ensuring that the blonde wouldn't be cold throughout the night.

He studied the Slytherin's tear streaked cheeks for a moment, noting the still dishevelled hair and overly pale colour of his face.

Bending slightly over him, he checked his breathing once more and was relieved that the other boy was, indeed, deeply asleep.

Reassured Harry made his way over to his bed, falling down on it fully dressed. Taking only enough time to fling his glasses to the side before covering his face with his hands. For the first time since Dumbledore had come to see him, did he have the time to actually let sink in all of which had happened tonight.

Harry was no stranger to being overrun with newly discovered mysteries or intense emotions, but nevertheless he had not been prepared for all of this.

He could still not believe that the headmaster he had trusted so completely had actually set up a painting to spy on him. He should probably think about what they should do about it, but with Malfoy passed out on the couch and all of his limbs as heavy as if his bones were made of steel, Harry decided that it could wait.

Involuntarily Harry's mind wandered to the recent events.

Lucius Malfoy was dead.

But why? Why had Voldemort chosen to kill him? He had been one of the most trusted and also most powerful Death Eaters, it made absolutely no sense.

The bed shifted and Harry turned his head to look at Tom, who had appeared beside him on the bed, his usual unreadable expression firmly in place.

Harry knew that Tom had been furious with Malfoy's appearance and had also felt the searing hot jealousy when the blonde had collapsed into his arms and refused to let go until he had finally cried himself to sleep.

The Gryffindor hadn't got the heart to push him away. He'd actually felt the other boy's pain as if it was his own and somehow now his view of Malfoy had changed considerably.

Tom, of course, couldn't understand this. Not only wasn't he used to feelings like this, but furthermore Harry knew that he somehow felt threatened by the blonde because Harry had paid him so much attention.

Looking into the green eyed Slytherin's eyes, Harry tried to find out what was going through the other boy's head. He could feel that Tom was still angry and wasn't sure if it was directed at him, Malfoy or both of them.

Harry felt uneasy, unsure if he could reach out to the other, or if Tom would push him away.

In a sudden, abrupt movement, Tom rose from the bed and looked down on Harry from were he stood.

"Come with me.", the tone was emotionless and commanding.

Harry shivered and hesitated, looking up into Tom's eyes once more. He was not used to Tom acting this way towards him and hated being afraid of him.

Impatient as he was, Tom obviously didn't want to wait, reaching down to grab Harry's wrist firmly and yanking him up from the bed. Ignoring the Gryffindor's yelp of surprise and pain, the taller boy dragged him across the room towards the bathroom.

Upon reaching the door, it flew open by itself and Tom shoved Harry through it before following him inside.

The door closed soundlessly, despite the Slytherin closing it by pushing Harry against it rather roughly.

If Harry hadn't been frightened before, now he surely was. Tom had always been unpredictable and when angered beyond a certain point quite out of control.

Harry felt sick when he thought about the fact that it was one of Voldemort's most known trademarks, especially when losing patience with his followers.

But the eyes boring into his own were still green, not red and Harry would do anything in his power to keep them this way.

Pinning him into place with his body, Harry didn't know what to expect, but when Tom's lips attacked his own, the Gryffindor was so surprised that they remained unresponsive.

When a hot tongue pushed past them and into his mouth, Harry moaned involuntarily and his eyes slid shut as he opened up further to deepen their kiss.

It was obviously not enough for Tom, who pushed him even further against the wood behind him, their groins connecting, making Harry moan.

Teeth clashed painfully and he could taste blood from where their lips had caught between them.

He was briefly reminded of their very first encounter in the library, but his mind was too much fogged with lust to grasp onto it.

Pushing against each other frantically, one of Tom's hands slid from his waist to palm his rock hard cock and Harry could feel it throb and swell even more, his throaty moan muffled between their hungry mouths, before both of the Slytherin's hands slid upwards to first yank off his tie and then grasp the front of his shirt in a firm grip.

The sound of the tearing fabric was loud in the confined room of the bathroom, where seconds ago their heavy breathing and the smacking sound of their hungry kisses had been the only thing to disturb the silence.

Buttons were flying everywhere, but Harry couldn't care less. He reluctantly let go of Tom, detangling his fingers from where they had been buried in the soft black hair and clumsily assisted the Slytherin to shove both the robe and the torn shirt from his shoulders and then his arms.

The cuffs of the shirt still buttoned, Tom yanked at them too and Harry could feel the buttons giving way as well before his clothes landed on the floor. With his hands free, Harry made short work on the Slytherin's tie. When he started unbuttoning Tom's shirt, the taller boy smacked his hands away before tearing that as well and shrugging his own robe off alongside it.

Harry's hands hungrily ran over Tom's naked skin, contemplating its softness, before both boys simultaneously reached for the fly of each of their trousers.

Fingers shaky with desire tore at the button and zipper, effectively ruining both. The sound of their belts hitting the floor was muffled by their robes that where already there.

Harry, who had expected Tom's body to return and pin him back to the door, was surprised when the other boy took a step back instead, dragging him along. The Gryffindor nearly fell as he stumbled, trousers still around his ankles, and hastily shoved them aside with his feet, seeing Tom doing the same, before he was crushed against the taller boy as Tom bent to kiss him again, hands on either side of his face to keep him in place.

Now both stumbling, Tom dragged him into the direction of the shower. Hissing, Harry nearly jumped in surprise as his socks suddenly vanished and his bare feet made contact with the cold tiles.

When Tom's hands slid to his ass and drew him against his body, Harry realised that their underwear had gone, too, and their naked cocks collided making the smaller boy moan loudly at the same time as he could feel Tom gasping, breath hot in his ear as the other boy's lips moved to suck hungrily on his pulse point.

Nearly falling into the shower, Harry found himself once again pressed into a wall, only this time it were cold tiles against his back, a stark contrast to his heated skin, making him shiver.

Their lips found each other at the same time as the water hit them and Harry could feel the wetness making it easier for their bodies to slide together, more so then the sheen of sweat had before.

Harry sucked Tom's tongue into his mouth as their hips pushed together once more, the wetness there that eased the friction in no connection to the water that cascaded around them.

He suddenly understood why Tom had been so determined to reach the shower, as their sound of passion where effectively muffled by the water. Malfoy was not deaf after all and didn't look much of a heavy sleeper…

Harry was torn from his musings as he felt the Slytherin's hand at the nape of his neck, fingers slipping into his messy hair before gripping them tightly. It didn't hurt exactly, but it certainly stung and Harry gasped in surprise as his head was dragged backwards, making their lips part enough for the taller boy to speak.

"I hate when he touches you…", Tom whispered, the sound of the water nearly drowning out the words and his mind so hazy with passion that he had difficulty to grasp the meaning.

Harry's shaking hands, which were gripping onto Tom's shoulders, tightened when Tom licked at his lips, but instead of kissing him moved to his ear.

"I hate it when he's near you.", his voice was rough and still very low, the soft brush of the Slytherin's mouth and his hot breath making him shiver.

Tom shifted his hips while at the same time tightening his hold on Harry's hair. The smaller boy moaned both in pain and pleasure, his nails digging into the pale skin of Tom's shoulders, leaving angry red marks.

Nipping at his ear, Tom sucked on the lobe before hot breath hit the wet skin again, making him almost frantic with the desire to feel the Slytherin's lips on his own.

"I hate the mere way he _looks_ at you.", Tom sounded like an angry snake, the words hissed out sharply.

"Tom…", he whimpered.

"Yes, Harry, say my name.", he breathed hotly, tightening his hold, "Say it, because you are mine, do you understand? Mine."

It was not an exclamation, it was a statement and Harry felt faint with the truth it held and dizzy with the pleasure and lack of oxygen as Tom caught his lips in another searing kiss.

The Slytherin slid his index finger teasingly down his spine, lower and lower, but Harry had not enough control left to wonder where it was going when suddenly he felt it inside of him.

Tom had claimed him so easily, Harry was so completely at his mercy that the only thing he was able to think about was the feel of the warm digit inside of him, slippery with more than water, and as it pushed further inside of him and everything was heat and trembling pleasure and Harry's mind was spinning and he was whimpering and pushing against it to get it deeper inside, despite the strange feeling of it's newness…

And it did slide deeper, hitting something inside him that made him press his eyes closed so tightly that small dots danced before his closed lids, made him moan and buck and claw at Tom's arms and wishing for it to be Tom himself, not only is fingers that claimed him so thoroughly, yearning to be connected, completed, wanting to feel him on a level he had never before.

"Please…", Harry's voice was rough, his throat drier than ever, the desire so intense he could barely form the words, "Tom…please…"

Yet his plea was not answered, instead another finger joined the first and upon both of them entering him with a smooth, rough thrust, Harry could feel a burning, stinging sensation as his muscles were stretched so abruptly.

Despite the slight pain, the pleasure that washed over him as the magical spot inside him was hit once again, was enough to welcome it, noises he had never thought possible were forced from deep within his chest, only to be muffled between their crashing mouths.

Even though Harry's desire to feel Tom inside him had been so intense, the simple _need_ for his release seemed to make him forget anything else.

Somewhere at the far back of his mind, he knew that he was being rough too, clawing at the Slytherin's pale skin, biting his lips…but he was too far gone to actually realise any of it.

In a well-calculated movement, Tom managed to lift Harry from the ground and pin him to the tiles so that their groins were on the same height. The smaller boy instinctively wrapped his legs around the taller boy's waist, his arms sliding fully around the taller boy's shoulders.

A moment later his head connected painfully with the hard marble behind him, having thrown it thrown back carelessly at the sheer amount of overwhelming pleasure as their hard flesh rubbed together at the same time as the angle changed and the spot inside him was hit with even more precision.

"Do you want to come, Harry?", it was only hot breath against his ear.

"Yes.", Harry answered pitifully, between a whimper and a moan, "Please…"

"Then say my name, Harry.", Tom demanded softly, "Say you're mine."

"Yours,", Harry echoed breathily, "Only yours, Tom…"

"Yes…", Tom hissed and Harry moaned once more as he felt their groins pushed together insistently and the finger inside him moving in a smooth steady rhythm.

Harry pushed against Tom jerkily, his soft incoherent moans of "please" "Tom" and "yours", soon muffled as their lips reconnected and they rutted together in earnest.

Soon Harry felt the unmistakeable signs of his orgasm and tried to draw Tom closer, the kiss rough enough to make both their lips sting painfully, but then everything was hot, white pleasure and Harry heard nothing beside the loud rush of his blood and his wildly beating heart, that matched his short, panting breaths and it was so intense and so good…

_so goodyesgods…Tom…_

And before slipping into darkness he could feel Tom shuddering in his arms, gasping for breath just as hard as he was and clinging just as tightly to him and it felt good to know that he could undo the stoic Slytherin as well.

_/T/'H'_

When Harry came back into consciousness, he was still in the bathroom, but lying on something soft and comfortable. He was dry and warm and still tingling with the intensity of his orgasm.

He turned his head slightly, vision blurry because of the absence of his glasses, and felt the throbbing pain on the back of his head, where he had hit himself on the tiles.

Harry's eyes, though not really able to see much, sought Tom, confused why he was not lying beside him and wanting him to badly.

"Tom?", Harry asked quietly.

The softness under him gave way, dipping slightly as Tom came into view, leaning over him slightly. His expression unreadable as always.

"I'm here."

"What happened?", Harry asked anyway, although he had quite a few ideas.

"You passed out.", Tom said softly, "I think it might have been because you were a bit…overwhelmed."

Harry felt his cheeks grow hot and couldn't believe that after all they had been doing, he was actually _blushing_.

Shifting slightly, Harry felt his muscles protest. He was not really surprised of how sore he felt. Nevertheless he made an effort to reach for Tom and the other boy grasped the hand that the Gryffindor extended, but his hand was cold and his fingers stiff.

He wanted to draw Tom down beside him, but although the Slytherin didn't let go of his hand, he resisted and remained seated without anything but their fingers touching.

Harry frowned and sat up, his other hand reaching for Tom's face, but the other boy turned his head, avoiding the caress.

"What's wrong?", his voice was quite rough, a tinge of fear in the undertone.

"Nothing.", the Slytherin said coolly, letting go altogether and standing up, "We should get to bed."

Harry got to his feet as well, feeling utterly naked beside Tom's fully clad form. He was not about to let the subject go.

"Don't.", he said softly.

The taller boy's eyes shifted to him and Harry cringed at the lack of emotion there. The Gryffindor could feel one of his infamous headaches approaching and hated what that indicated.

"Don't what?", an eyebrow rose in question.

"Don't be like that.", it was almost a plea, "Don't shut me out. I thought we were past all this?"

Tom didn't answer and his silence hurt more than a harsh respond would have.

Defeated, Harry wrapped himself tightly into the towel he had been covered with and slumped against the wall behind him.

The enchantment on the floor had been lifted and instead of feeling like a mattress it had returned to it's usual cold and unyielding state. Harry shivered as the cold of the tiles crept up into his body.

When Tom made a sweeping gesture with his hand to make their clothes fold by themselves and the rest of the towels fly back to their original place, Harry felt his magical energy straining and he had to close his eyes at the uncomfortable sensation.

White, hot fear gripped him as he realised how very much distance was between them. His head was starting to ache and in a desperate, pathetic attempt to make the coldness between them disappear, Harry lunged himself into Tom's arms, that opened to catch him instinctively.

Not leaving enough time for the Slytherin to withdraw again, Harry showered heated kisses all over Tom's neck and face, fingers slipping into his hair and tugging his head down to get better access.

He could already feel the skin beneath his fingers warming up and new that he was getting somewhere.

'_Damnit, Tom, let me in.'_, Harry persisted, whispering in his mind, searching for Tom inside of him to wrap around him mentally as well, _'Let me in…_please_…'_

And just like that, all of the resistance seemed to suddenly crumble and collapse.

Tom's lips met his own and his body slumped against Harry's smaller one as if all of it's former tension had been drained from it.

Drawing back from their kiss, the Slytherin avoided his eyes, simply turned his now warm face to bury it in the Gryffindor's neck.

And that's when Harry finally felt the last barrier between them giving way and Tom allowing him to enfold him mentally as well. The taller boy's emotions leaked through their bond and the jumbled mess nearly took Harry's breath away.

It was only a second though and Harry had barely enough time to deceiver confusion and fear, before the other boy shut down on himself once again. Not drawing away, but not letting him in fully either.

With all of this came the frightening knowledge that Tom had not told him everything, maybe not even half of the things he knew. There were things that the Slytherin had carefully hidden, things that obviously seemed to crush him now.

Did he regret trusting Harry? Had he really trusted him at all? Why was he suddenly so desperately to draw back from him?

Drawing back slightly, Harry forced Tom to look into his eyes, by gently cupping his face between his hands.

"Tell me.", the Gryffindor urged softly, "Why won't you talk to me?"

Tom covered his hands with his own and leaned closer to press their foreheads together, without breaking their gaze.

"Trust me.", Tom said gently, kissing him softly, "Just trust me, Harry."

And Harry did. He loved Tom, he could trust him.

…Right?

_/T/'H'_

When Harry woke up again, it seemed as if it had been only seconds ago that he had gone to sleep. And maybe it was, seeing as he had woken up to a sound from the couch.

Tom had retreated to the back of his mind and Harry realised that he was asleep, so it had to be very early morning, when he was in no danger of having any nightmares.

Sitting up groggily, Harry realised that although he had been lucky once again and had been spared from his nightly demons, Malfoy seemed not so fortunate.

The blonde was trashing around on the couch, the covers having slid to the ground by his wild movement, and he was whimpering in his uneasy sleep.

"No, no…please…"

Harry concentrated on the candle on his bedside table and willed it to live, seeing as it was still dark outside, before making his way over to the other boy unsteadily.

Despite his heavy eyelids, he managed to catch both of Malfoy's flailing hands with the natural precision of a seeker and not knowing what else to do, pinned them to the couch beside the blonde.

Steadying himself by placing his left knee near Malfoy's hipbone on the couch, Harry crouched over the taller boy.

"Malfoy.", Harry said firmly, his grip on the Slytherin's hands tightening as they wanted to escape from whatever confined them, "Malfoy, wake up."

But instead of waking, the blonde seemed to panic even more and Harry fought to keep him from hurting them both. He hadn't thought that the Slytherin possessed so much strength.

When he received a solid kick to his ribs, Harry decided enough was enough. Tightening his grip till his hands hurt, he leaned even closer, trying to pin Malfoy down with the rest of his body.

"Draco!", he bellowed, forced to dig his knee deeper into the other boy's thigh as the Slytherin tried to kick out again.

Malfoy's eyes snapped open, unfocused, and upon feeling that he was trapped, started to struggle in earnest.

Harry pressed him down and tried to remember what helped him when he was woken from a nightmare.

Letting go of the Slytherin's hands, leaving his arms to secure the other boy's, he slid his fingers into the blond hair, surprised at its absolute silkiness. Harry's palms cupped Malfoy's face gently, but firmly, trying to get his eyes to focus.

"Malfoy.", Harry said gently, "Draco, it's alright. It was just a dream."

Malfoy blinked and suddenly he froze under him, silver eyes staring up at him, helplessly confused.

"Harry?"

Harry's eyes widened in surprise. It was the first time in all these years that Malfoy had chosen to address him this way. Not even when the blonde had offered to be his friend on their encounter on the Hogwarts Express had he used his given name.

Trying to keep the shock from his expression, as not to confuse the blonde more, Harry relaxed the hold he had on him. Malfoy was just clearly out of it, that's all. No need to get worked up over this.

"Yes, it's me.", he tried to soothe him, "You are alright, it was just a dream."

"Then my father…?"

It nearly broke Harry's heart to see the hopeful expression in the Slytherin's eyes. It was as if he were talking to a child. Harry knew that nightmares could turn the toughest men into the most vulnerable beings. He had experienced it often enough.

"No", it came out hoarse and pained, "I'm sorry."

Harry could see the blonde's eyes cloud over as wetness built. Before the tears fell, however, Malfoy dragged him down and buried his face into his shoulder.

Harry, understanding the Slytherin's need for comfort, didn't protest and held him tightly.

He remembered what Tom had once done to him and shifted so they were lying on their sides. Concentrating, Harry let his right hand slide into the blond strands of his former nemesis and willed the shaking boy to calm down and go to sleep.

It was not long before the trembling subsided and Malfoy slipped into a deep, magic induced sleep.

Detangling himself carefully, Harry retrieved the covers that had fallen to the ground and draped them over the now peaceful blonde.

Reassuring himself one more time that Malfoy really was alright, Harry quietly returned to bed, extinguishing the candle with a tired flick of his fingers.

_/T/'H'_

"Potter", demanded an excited voice somewhere near his head, "Potter, wake up!"

An insistent hand joined the efforts to wake him and Harry just groaned and buried himself deeper into his soft bed.

The other person had obviously other ideas, as his covers were wrenched halfway from his body and a second hand joined the first to shake him.

"Potter!", now slightly annoyed, "Damnit, this is important!"

Giving up, Harry finally opened his eyes. Instead of the bright morning light he had expected, he was greeted with the low light of dawn. He couldn't have slept longer than two or three hours.

Turning around, Harry rubbed his eyes tiredly. He felt so exhausted, he could have cried.

"What the hell do you want, Malfoy?", he mumbled tiredly, trying to focus his blurry gaze on the dishevelled aristocrat.

The Slytherin sat on the edge of his bed, hand still gripping his arm from where he had shaken him awake so persistently and eyes clear and focused.

"I forgot to tell you something."

Harry frowned, not able to contain his annoyance.

"And that couldn't have waited until tomorrow?"

"No.", Malfoy said firmly, "It's about why they killed my father."

Rubbing over his scar absentmindedly, Harry sighed and fought to get into an upright position.

Malfoy was right, this was very important.

Upon seeing that he had Harry's undivided attention, Malfoy looked at him with a dead serious expression.

"I don't know much, but from what I gathered it had something to do with your godfather."

Harry felt as if someone had emptied a bucket of ice over his head. He wouldn't have been surprised if his heart would have stopped beating.

"Wh-What?", it was but a scratchy breath.

"It had something to do with Sirius Black."


	22. Chapter 22

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R (language)

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: gods, i LOVE you all, my wonderful reviewers! without you, i'd be nothing.

i hope you are pleased with the quick update, there are only 2 more to go until you finally get to know what's going on (at least partially :) ). you'll also be pleased to know that i already started writing the next chapter and proabably will be able to post it soon!

pls REVIEW, as always, to keep me going! i hope you are liking how the story is turning out, but don't worry, we've still got a looong way to go; so bear with me and stick to me!

love you all!

enjoy!

p.s.: i'm sorry for the cliffhangers, i'm SUCH a sucker for them! you'll probably want to kill me anyway after finishing this one...

* * *

Shadow was seething, pacing restlessly in the shadow of a big oak. Her servant was watching her with weary eyes, sitting a foot away, leaning against the thick trunk of the old tree.

"Damned Malfoy!", she exclaimed suddenly, making her servant start slightly, "Potter was not supposed to know about Sirius Black! Now he will start snooping around and interfere with all of our plans!"

Her servant remained silent, her intense glare the only thing that suggested what she thought about Shadow's plans. Her arms were wrapped tightly around herself, tugging her winter cloak closer to keep the cold air at bay.

The temperature around Hogwarts had dropped even more, though there still was no sign of snow. The students constantly wore pullover over pullover and all of the girls switched to woollen stockings, casting heating charms on their legs to keep them warm under their short school skirts.

"When the Dark Lord finds out about this, he will be very displeased. Especially after going through all the trouble with killing Lucius Malfoy.", Shadow ranted on, seemingly not affected by the cold, "It's a pity really, seeing what a powerful Death Eater he had been…"

"So why kill him, then?", it was the first time her servant spoke, her mood as dark as the night itself.

She sounded irritated and her tone was sharp. The heating charm she had cast to make the almost frozen ground more comfortable, doing little for her clattering teeth. The wind had picked up tonight and blew vigorously through the almost naked trees.

Shadow looked at her as if she had lost her mind. Her mood wasn't any better and she had the tendency to lash out at her servant more often than not. Maybe it was this little feeling deep inside her that always reminded her that the other girl was not entirely hers, because she was still resisting. This knowledge left Shadow constantly aggravated and even slightly…afraid. Although she would never admit that even to herself.

Nevertheless her servant had picked up on it and it was her only weapon against her vicious mistress, which she exploited as much as possible.

"Because he was on the verge of finding out more, maybe all.", she bit out, "If Potter finds out about-"

"I know, I know…", the other girl waved a dismissive hand, knowing very well that she was angering her mistress, "You have told me only a hundred and fifty times."

Quicker than her servant could follow, Shadow had grabbed a handful of her hair and dragged her forcefully upwards. They were now so close that Shadow could feel the other's warm breath on her face and realised for the first time how cold it actually was.

"You are in no position to utter your opinion. You are only here because I chose you as my servant and therefore will do anything I tell you to.", Shadow hissed, her grip tightening making the other girl wince, her breathing turning slightly irregular, "Have I made myself clear?"

Although in obvious pain, her servant met her gaze stubbornly. Noting in her stance looked as if she was about to submit. She knew that in the end she would, like every other time, but she tired to hold out as long as she could.

"Crystal clear.", she gritted out, "Anything else? Maybe you want me to call you my Lady from now on?"

Shadow's eyes narrowed to slits and without warning she let go of her servant's hair, only to slam her up against the tree behind her with as much force as she had in her. Although being a slender girl, Shadow had quite some strength and watched in satisfaction as the other girl uttered a breathless sound and her beautiful face turned into a grimace of pain.

She grabbed onto Shadow's robes out of reflex, panting hard after having the wind knocked out of her and trying to keep her as far away as possible.

"You seem to have forgotten your place.", her voice was calmer, but just as sharp, she knew that she had the other girl exactly were she wanted.

Pressing her servant against the rough tree trunk mercilessly, Shadow gripped her left forearm in a painful grip. Her satisfaction deepened even more as she felt her trembling.

"You are mine. He has no claim on you.", she said firmly, marking her point by digging her fingernails into the other girl's arm as she lowered her voice to a threatening whisper, "You belong only to me, remember? I can do anything with you, to you… So I suggest you behave yourself, be a good girl and _shut the fuck up_."

The other girl said nothing and they stared at each other for a few moments, before her servant finally relented and let her gaze drop in the obvious sign of submission that her mistress had been craving.

Upon seeing that she had won once more, Shadow released her brutal hold on her servant, letting her hands travel up her sides to cup her cheeks with gentle hands instead and pressed herself even closer her warm, but still slightly trembling, body.

"So, are you ready to obey me now? Because we have plenty of things to do. The most important being to keep Potter in the dark.", she said almost softly, caressing her servant's cheeks mockingly, as if she were her lover.

The other girl recoiled from her touch, almost as if it had burned her to be touched gently by Shadow. She looked back at her and Shadow could see it in her eyes, feel it through their forced link. She could see exactly what her servant wanted to shout at her: _I hate you!_

But knowing that she had lost once again, she simply nodded wordlessly and finally Shadow released her, stepping back with a pleased smirk on her lips.

She wanted nothing more from her servant than obedience, that was all that mattered. At least that was what she was telling herself constantly.

"Very good.", she said pleasantly, not willing to dwell on her thoughts, "Now listen carefully, here are your orders…"

_/T/'H'_

Malfoy flopped down on the big armchair in the room of requirement, for once not as graceful as Harry was used to seeing.

"It's no use.", he said exhaustedly, his face drawn, "I tried everything I could to find out more, but no one seems to know anything."

Harry nodded and despite it having been three weeks since Lucius Malfoy had died and Malfoy had said that it had something to do with Sirius, they were not closer to any answers. He just couldn't help feeling disappointed, even though he had been sure that it would take more than Malfoy to find out what Voldemort had managed to hide from him.

Looking away from the Slytherin, Harry stared into the room that currently resembled a small sitting room with stuffed couches and armchairs, a big fireplace and a soft rag in front of it. They tried to change the location of their meetings as often as possible, and seeing as Dumbledore had set up the spying portrait in his room, there was no way of staying in there.

Tom had been unnaturally quiet. He had kept silent about the whole Sirius-Lucius related affair, even though Harry had been desperate for his opinion and insight.

Despite the fact that Harry had tried to coax Tom into a conversation about it, the other boy had simply blocked his efforts or distracted him with kisses. It seemed that after he had made his statement about not knowing anything about the whole thing, he saw it as a closed chapter.

This, of course, resulted in a strained atmosphere between them and Harry was constantly irritated by Tom's aloof behaviour.

Being unable to talk to Tom, or Ron and Hermione for that matter, Malfoy had gotten the full blast of jumbled thoughts and ideas ever since. Harry was surprised that he hadn't told him to shut up. After all, Malfoy was not the most patient person he knew. It seemed to be a Slytherin trademark.

"Look, Potter", Malfoy started hesitantly, "Maybe we are getting worked up over nothing. It could all be some sick plan to lead you off track…"

Harry eyed the other boy warily. He could hear by the tone of the blonde's voice that he didn't believe his own words.

"We went over this more than enough times, Malfoy."

The taller boy sighed, closing his eyes and rubbing his temple briefly. He looked as exhausted as Harry felt.

"I know.", he said finally, looking up at the Gryffindor.

He fixed him with one of his unreadable expressions and Harry could almost feel the shift of atmosphere in the room. He had gotten to know Malfoy more over the last three weeks and they were nearing the stage were one could read simple looks or gestures of the other.

What Harry still hadn't figured out, was this one look Malfoy had now trained on him. He knew what was about to be said and felt even more tired.

"And you know that I still don't trust Riddle.", the aristocrat continued, voice low but firm, "I'm still sure that he is deceiving you."

"Malfoy…"

"Don't.", the Slytherin interrupted him, holding up a hand to stop Harry from continuing, "You made it very clear to me where you stand."

They gazed at each other for some time in silence, Harry trying to look behind Malfoy's walls, which of course proved to be futile.

_But where do you stand, Malfoy?_

_/T/'H'_

"Please, Hermione, I've got a really bad headache, just tell me the answer.", Ron whined, feather hovering over a barely written on roll of parchment.

Harry had met up with his two best friends for their daily homework sessions. The three of them had agreed that this would help get their friendship back on track, so now they spent every afternoon together again.

Harry enjoyed the time with them, but somehow the untold secrets seemed to weigh on their relationship and he had a hard time talking to them. He felt awful, because for the first time in their lives, Harry was unable to open up to them.

"If you'd paid attention to Professor Binns' class this morning, you would know. Headache or not.", came Hermione's stern reply.

Harry was so used to this banter, that it flowed over him without him paying it any attention. Focusing instead on his essay.

What were the three uses of midnight-weed again?

"Hello, can I join you?", a soft voice broke through his concentrated mind.

Looking up, he found Luna standing beside their table, book bag slung over her shoulder, her big blue eyes studying him carefully.

Harry glanced briefly over to his two friends, but they were so into their tirade, that they hadn't noticed Luna. Hermione was busy making holes in the air with her quill, while Ron rolled his eyes at her and tried to coax her into answering. Shaking his head, Harry turned his attention back to the girl.

"Of course."

Smiling slightly, she sat down beside him and slowly started unpacking her things.

Harry watched her thoughtfully, thinking about this one serious conversation he'd had with the younger girl at the end of last year once more. She really was much more intelligent than most would think. And he, more than anyone, could relate to how awful she must be feeling about the way the other students seemed to like to bully her around.

Suddenly a thought struck him and he sat straighter up in his chair, the idea having struck him like lightning. Luna was smart, she was silent and he trusted her. She seemed to know much about things no one else cared about. It couldn't hurt to try.

"Luna?", he asked carefully, keeping his voice low as not to attract his other friends' attention.

He needn't have worried, because when he glanced towards Ron and Hermione again briefly, he saw that they were still in a heated discussion.

The blond girl looked up, her dreamy gaze fixing onto Harry, letting him know that he had her full attention.

"I wanted to ask you something.", he said carefully, thinking about how he could best word the question.

Luna said nothing, waiting for him to continue.

Taking a deep breath, the Gryffindor leaned even closer to her and she obediently moved closer as well.

"Remember last year? You know, in the department of mysteries?", it was silly to form these two sentences as a question, of course she would remember.

Luna showed no sign of irritation, instead she nodded patiently, still not saying anything. It gave Harry the courage to go on.

"There was this thing; the veil…", he wondered if she understood what he meant, but her eyes were as dreamy as every and he could not read them, "I wanted to ask you if maybe you knew something about it?"

For a moment Harry was sure that she had no idea what he was talking about, but then she nodded slowly, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"This is no easy question, Harry.", she said, her words just as slow as her nod had been, "I do know what you are referring to, but I don't know much about it. You must know, that it's very old. It was created long ago by Salazar Slytherin and Godric Gryffindor. As far as I know it is the outcome of an experiment."

Harry's eyes widened. This was already much more information than he had expected. Immediately a million questions flew into his mind and burned on his tongue. Swallowing heavily, Harry tired to control his enthusiasm and remain focused.

"Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin? I thought they were enemies? I mean, after Hogwarts was founded.", it was the one question that seemed to nag him the most.

Luna eyed him curiously.

"They were the best of friends. Even better than their relationship with Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. Gryffindor and Slytherin grew up together, they were friends long before meeting the other two founders at university.", she explained patiently, "As I said, I don't know exactly what happened, but I think they started this project about different worlds and dimensions and when they started to experiment with it magically, they accidentally created the veil."

Harry's mind was reeling at these new pieces of information. Also his little inner voice was determined to be heard and what it said unsettled Harry even more.

_-This is all about Gryffindor and Slytherin, surely Tom knows all of this, maybe more, so why hasn't he told you?_

Turning his attention back to Luna, he tried to ignore the voice and forced himself to concentrate on the matter at hand.

"But how did it get into the Department of Mysteries? Portals can't be moved."

"True, but the veil isn't a portal.", replied the Ravenclaw, "Because it can be moved."

_/T/'H'_

"You never told me anything about that!", Harry accused, pacing to and fro in his room.

Tom was sitting in one of the armchairs, calmly watching him, as he couldn't seem to stop moving.

"You never asked, Harry."

Halting abruptly, the Gryffindor turned to face the other boy, his temper flaring. It had been a long time since he had last felt this way towards the Slytherin and the unmistakeable headache that started to pound through his head was prove enough of how far they had gotten again with their argument.

"How many times have I asked you to tell me anything you know about the situation around Sirius and Lucius Malfoy?", he said hotly, voice rising, "I practically begged you to help me find out more!"

Tom remained silent, his gaze dropping to casually inspect his fingernails.

Harry felt even more inflamed upon Tom's indifferent reaction.

"Will you fucking look at me?!"

Finally the other boy's green gaze lifted back up to meet his own. There was a moment of suffocating silence while neither of them moved, then Tom's eyes softened and he slowly got up and crossed the short distance between them.

Despite his anger, Harry let Tom cup his face gently, looking deeply into his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

Harry felt the tension drain from his body as a sigh forced it's way out of his throat. He knew that the sentiment was neither uttered lightly, nor very often.

He placed his hands on Tom's chest and used them to draw the taller boy down for a gentle kiss. Drawing back only far enough so they could rest their foreheads together, both their arms slid around each other.

They remained like this for a few moments, before Tom spoke again.

"You're right."

Harry drew back slightly in order to look at the taller boy.

"What?", he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"We do need to talk.", Tom ground out.

It almost sounded as if uttering the words pained him physically. His body was tight with tension and he stood rigid before him, although his didn't stop touching him.

"Really?", Harry asked stupidly, wanting to slap himself the moment it had passed his lips.

"Yes.", Tom said softly, his arms around him tightening slightly, "Actually I meant to tell you already, but…"

"But?", Harry coaxed gently, letting his fingers run through the Slytherin's hair in a soothing caress.

He could feel how difficult this was for Tom.

"But I was scared.", it was almost a whisper, and Tom avoided eye contact in order to keep some of his walls intact, his body trembling slightly.

Harry knew how much admitting this had cost the other boy and felt a surge of tenderness that nearly swept him off his feet. It seemed that Tom was finally making serious effort to truly open up to him.

He strained upwards slightly in order to place a few gentle kissed to the Slytherin's warm face and the corner of his mouth.

"I love you.", the words came naturally and were meant to make Tom feel safe and cherished, "Just tell me."

"I-you-", Tom said hoarsely, struggling with every word, "I'm not-"

Suddenly the door burst open with such vigour that it hit the wall forcefully, interrupting Tom before he could get even one intelligible word past his lips.

Instead of jumping apart, like they would have only weeks ago, Tom's arms around him tightened when he felt Harry jump in surprise, drawing him close to his body in a protective way.

"Potter!", Malfoy gasped breathlessly, "I'm on my way to him, he summoned me moments before. Hogsmead's under attack."


	23. Chapter 23

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hi to all! i hpe you are all well? as always, i loved your reviews! thank you so much!

now, i didn't make you wait too long, didn i? this is the longest and also hardest chapter i ever had to write, but i was as quick as i could. it took me forever to be somewhat pleased with what i wrote, so i hope you forgive me.

well, you surely can't wait another second, so read away! (but pls pls pls don't foget to review!)

enjoy!

* * *

"…Potter…Potter…Harry!" 

The voice that called his name was insistent and urgent. It sounded scared and almost panicked.

"_Rennervate_.", a tingling sensation shot through his body and alerted him even more, "Come on Harry, wake up!"

It was only with great effort that Harry managed to drag himself out of unconsciousness. He would have preferred to sink back into darkness and remain there for the rest of his miserable life.

Harry groaned and turned his head. His cheek met warmth and he only now realized how cold he actually was. Automatically burying himself into the warmth beneath him, he felt arms around him and another's breath on his face as a cold cheek pressed against his even colder one.

"Thank Merlin you are alright.", the words were only warm breath against his ear, before the other person drew back again and caressed his face fleetingly, "Now open your eyes, we have to get away from here."

His eyes felt as if someone had glued them shut and Harry almost whimpered as he forced them open, to close them again immediately and reopen them. The second time was easier and he blinked again, this time to clear his vision.

After a moment he realized that it wouldn't get any clearer, seeing as his glasses were absent. Frowning slightly in confusion, Harry tried to focus on the person beside him.

"Draco?", his voice was but a croak, his throat so dry that he thought it might start to bleed any minute from the strain.

The other boy leaned closer once again and Harry saw that he had been right.

"Yes", he said simply, a softness in his eyes and voice that he had never heard before, his face and body tight with worry, "It's okay, Harry. Can you sit up?"

"I-I don't know.", Harry rasped, coughing as the dryness became too much.

Each of his limbs felt as if they were made of steel and his head was throbbing so bad that he thought someone was constantly hitting his temples with a hammer. On top of that, the familiar feeling of his scar burning could be added to the pain.

Reaching up with a shaky hand, Harry gently probed with his fingers where it hurt the most and as he looked at his hand, saw that it was bloody.

"Where are my glasses?"

There were so many other things he wanted to know, but right now he barely remembered his name. He simply had no energy left, he felt completely drained.

"You lost them when you fell.", Draco said, "And I doubt that they would be much use to you, I don't think they survived the explosion."

Harry tried to nod, but changed his mind almost immediately. It just hurt too much. Everything was hurting.

With Draco's help, he managed to get into a somewhat upright position. He was sure, however, that he wouldn't be able to remain so, if the other boy wouldn't support his weight.

It was dark and very cold and for the first time, Harry took the time to look around. They were sitting under a big tree and soon Harry realized that there were trees everywhere. It all looked mildly familiar.

"Are we in the Forbidden Forest?"

"Yes.", Draco answered him simply and directly, "Do you remember anything?"

Harry thought hard, but his brain would not cooperate. He knew that he was missing something very important, but he just couldn't seem to remember it.

A sudden flash of fear, made him turn abruptly towards Draco.

"What about Ron? Is he alright?", he was almost breathless with anxiety, unconsciously gripping Draco's arm.

"Weasley's fine.", he assured him, "So is Granger. She got him away fast enough. I think they returned to the castle. He…I think he needed to see Madame Pomfrey as quickly as possible."

Although not fully at ease, Harry let loose a relieved sigh.

"Do you think you can stand?"

Harry truly doubted it, but nevertheless tried as hard as he could to follow Draco's efforts to get him on his feet. When he finally stood, his knees simply gave way again and he would have fallen, if the Slytherin hadn't caught him.

Without another word, Draco hoisted him up into his arms, as if he weighed nothing, and started walking.

Harry was far too exhausted to protest and simply slipped his arms around the blonde's shoulders, leaning his still horribly aching head against his shoulder, feeling the soft fabric shift under his cheek.

He distantly felt Draco's grip on him tighten, but maybe he simply imagined it. He was too far gone, his body needing the dark stupor of unconsciousness that he was so roughly raised from magically a few minutes ago.

So even if Harry had wanted, he wouldn't have been able to fight the darkness that drew him under as he slipped back into blissful blackness.

_/T/'H'/T/'H'_

_He ducked in time to avoid the green flash of light that zoomed towards him as if it were lightning, sending out a light red one of his own while making a firm gesture with his left hand, that sent the Death Eater next to the one he had just stupefied to the ground with a surprised cry followed by a painful groan._

_Tom had trained him well._

_Looking around in confusion, he wondered where the other boy had vanished to. He hadn't seen him in awhile now, nor talked to him in any way._

_What also concerned him, was that he had no idea where Malfoy was._

_Somewhere in the distance he could see Remus sending curse after curse, fighting four Death Eaters at once. Looking more like an angry canine than ever. He could even see his golden eyes flash and look even more like a wolf's than they usually did._

_Every member of the Order was present and when they had discovered him sometime shortly into the now fierce battle, they all looked as if they had wanted to strangle him. Except maybe Dumbledore, who just looked deeply disappointed._

_Harry was in no condition to look the headmaster in the eyes. He still felt his betrayal lying heavy on his heart and even though he was still angry, earning Dumbledore's disappointment was not something he was proud of._

_Mad-Eye Moody was about to 'escort' him back to the castle, meaning nearly dragging Harry by the hair while the Gryffindor was kicking and screaming, the old Auror was nearly killed by a hooded Death Eater, which Harry sent flying into a nearby tree with a wave of his hand._

_He was still not overly skilled in wandless magic, but the fear of losing Moody had resulted in almost killing the Death Eater, because of the fierceness of the blow. Somehow this frightened Harry the most, this utter power that had been buried so long inside of him and now that it was finally breaking free, he couldn't really handle it._

_After that, let's just say there was nothing left to protest over and the Order, although grudgingly, had to let him stay. Besides every one of them had their hands full with protecting themselves and there was no time to argue any further._

_They had been fighting nearly three hours straight and Harry started to feel the strain._

_Voldemort had chosen to attack from the south, meaning from Hogsmead's train station. Harry hadn't gotten as far as that, but the heavy smoke was evident even from where he stood._

_It added to the one already starting to build around the battlefield. The constant using of powerful magic, most of it missing the actual target, made holes in the ground and let lifeless, frozen plants come alive, ablaze in small fires._

_A small explosion to his left made him look back to where Remus was still fighting vehemently and saw that although two of the Death Eaters had fallen, the other two were closing in on him. One of Remus' sleeves was torn and Harry could see him bleeding underneath. He was about to rush to the werewolf in order to help him, when suddenly someone cried out behind him._

"_Harry! Watch out!"_

_Harry whirled around in surprise, having recognized the voice as soon as it had screamed his name, and turned just in time to have something heavy landing on him, throwing him to the ground and forcing all the air from his lungs with an 'oomph'._

_Struggling to regain his senses, Harry let the person that had landed on top of him help him back to his feet._

"_Ron!", he finally exclaimed, looking around and finding who he was sure must be there as well, "Hermione! What the hell are you doing here?"_

"_Do you really think we would have let you come alone? We knew how reckless you are, of course we came to help you!", said Hermione in her McGonagall-voice as if it was the most obvious thing in the world._

_Harry had to swallow hard around the sudden lump in his throat. He couldn't remember when he had last been this glad to see someone._

_Forgetting for a moment where they were, Harry threw himself at his best friends and the three hugged enthusiastically. They were sharply reminded, however, when a curse caused another small explosion only a foot away from them. Jumping apart, Harry grinned sheepishly at them._

_Where he found the strength to smile, he didn't know, but fact was that only for a second he forgot the dirt and sweat clinging to every inch of his aching body and let the relief sooth his raw nerves._

"_Well, I guess we have to keep that for later.", he said, cheeks almost hurting from the stretch of his lips, not remembering when he had last smiled like this._

_His best friends answered him with twin smiles._

"_Now, mate, let's give them something to talk about.", Ron said, the grip on his wand tightening._

"_Yeah, let's."_

_Soon, however, their cheerfulness had dissipated and it was two hours later that their limbs were becoming heavier and heavier._

_Harry watched with concern as both of his friends' movements became sluggish and he had to drag Ron twice to the ground with him because he hadn't seen the curses thrown at him._

_Harry began to wonder if it had been better if his best friends had stayed in the safety of the castle instead. He almost felt bad for his former outburst of happiness, guilt making it all seem selfish and uncaring._

_Also Tom's absence made him weary. He had tried an hour ago to talk to him, but their link felt almost as if it was closed and so he had no idea where the other boy was, nor what was going on. It gnawed on his insides more than anything else._

_The smoke had also thickened, mingling with the scent of burned flesh and also death, making Harry's eyes and lungs burn and his stomach turn with sickness. He had yet to become used to seeing the dead people scattered on the ground and couldn't imagine how the Aurors ever had._

_The thought that maybe he'd had to, made him even sicker and he tried to keep his gaze above the ground and away from the lifeless people there, which usually ended in stumbling over unmoving limbs of the dead or his feet sinking into small holes._

_When Harry had decided he wanted to fight in this battle, he hadn't been prepared for any of this. He probably should have, but he just wasn't._

_One of the most terrifying realisations was, that this wasn't the worst of battles. In the eyes of the Order and Voldemort, this was just the beginning. It was a warning, a statement even, to let all of the wizarding population know that he was there and he was to be taken seriously._

_The other was that he shouldn't be in this alone. From the very moment he had made up his mind, he had been sure that Tom would be there. As in right _here_. By his side, where he was supposed to be. It was the one thing that had fuelled Harry's courage and determination._

_Now there was little left of either and he was concerned and scared and above all of this feeling utterly pathetic. He realised now more than ever that he had become far too dependent, too…obsessed._

'Sectumsempra_!'_

_Raising his wand to cast a shield, Harry realised that it wouldn't be quick enough and threw himself down sideways to the ground, landing hard. This was obviously neither the time nor the place to start having deep thoughts._

_Harry almost yelped in surprise, and probably fright, when the tip of a wand pressed against the middle of his back sharply._

"_Potter", a deep voice hissed near his ear, "Are you out of your imbecilic mind?"_

_The boy on the ground shivered. He would have recognized this voice anywhere._

"_Snape!", he gasped in surprised._

_The pressure increased and turned into a sharp stab, making Harry wince in pain. His mind was screaming at him to do something, to attack before being attacked, but his instinct told him to wait. Yes, he hated Snape, but the older man was also the reason why he had lived through his first year at Hogwarts. There was no denying that a bond, even only a very small one, stated to build as soon as a wizard saved the life of another. It was this connection that made Harry trust Snape at this very moment._

"_Quiet, you idiot!", Snape hissed forcefully, "I want you to listen to what I have to say. After I have finished, you will turn around abruptly and throw me off, do you understand?"_

_Harry furrowed his brow. This was getting stranger by the minute._

"_Throw you off?", he asked bewildered, "But, Professor-"_

"_We don't have time for this now!", the Potions Master interrupted him rudely, "Just listen to me: The Dark Lord will arrive shortly. You have to get back."_

"_What?!", he froze, growing stiff like a block of ice._

_Voldemort actually planned on showing up personally? But that was absolutely insane! He hadn't even sent all of his followers. If Harry guessed correctly, there were only Death Eaters from the outer circle. So why come hear personally? He had no plan against Harry._

_Or so he thought. At least till now._

"_I cannot tell you more than that.", Snape said and even without seeing his face, Harry knew that he was looking around frantically, "Now move!_

_Harry made a move to comply, before remembering something._

"_Wait!", he demanded, halting his movement, "Have you seen Draco?"_

"_He's fine. Now shut up, Potter, and do as I said before getting us both killed!", his Professor replied sharply._

_Harry felt too relieved and too much on edge to retort something. Turning in one smooth movement, he let his hand shoot upwards and even though Snape had known he would comply, Harry could see his eyes widening in surprise, before a strong surge of magic shot out of the Gryffindor's palm and collided with his tall, dark frame. It was slightly more forceful than Harry had intended and he watched breathlessly if Snape would stand back up._

_He breathed out a sigh when he saw him getting back on his feet, before rushing into the opposite direction where he had last seen Ron and Hermione._

_It was not easy staying together in battle and he had lost them a few times, this being one of them._

_Warding off several spells, Harry finally spotted them through the ever thickening smoke and fought to reach them. When he had finally managed to reach them, he wasted no time, grabbing one arm of each and dragging them behind one of the trees. The edge of the forbidden forest wasn't far from where they stood._

"_He's coming here.", was all he said, sounding calmer than he felt._

_Where the _fuck_ was Tom?_

_Both of his friends didn't need any explanation as to whom he was referring. They were silent for a second, turning wide, scared eyes to him._

"_What?!"_

"_I know, I have no idea what's going on either.", Harry rushed on, "And as much as I hate to say this, we have to get back to the castle. There is no way that I can face him right now."_

_Alone._

_It was unspoken, but hung between the three friends as if he'd spoken it out loud._

"_Of course you must, Harry.", Hermione stated, sounding slightly shriller but forcing it to sound matter-of-factly._

"_What about…?", Ron trailed off uncertainly, but both Harry and Hermione knew what he was talking about._

_Harry's chest tightened and he ran a hand through his wet, dirty hair that was plastered to his head. He had no idea what to answer._

_Apparently Ron took his silence as much as an answer as anything he might have said, because he continued to talk._

"_He's probably gloating his ass off at the knowledge that you're in danger.", the red-head grumbled angrily, "He probably knew all along what was going on."_

_This last sentence felt like a kick to his gut and Harry even felt his form slump slightly at the words. Everything he could think about was that he didn't want it to be true. That Tom would suddenly appear by his side with an explanation as to where he had been and with a promise that he wouldn't leave again._

"_This is not the time to talk about this.", Hermione said sharply, obviously aware of Harry's defeat._

_She had always known what was going on inside of him and probably the real knowledge of his situation with Tom helped, too._

_He sent her a grateful look, but her expression was stony when their eyes met and Harry knew that she was angry. Very much so, even. All of this made him feel even worse._

_Once again, their discussion was interrupted a loud crack made them jump and a second later the tree they had been standing under erupted in flames._

"_Quick! Get away! It'll fall!", Hermione screamed, clutching one of their hands each, her fingernails digging into their flesh unconsciously, and dragging them along as she started to run._

_Even before they even made their first step, Harry knew that they wouldn't make it in time. Wrenching his hand free, he turned around in time to watch the great tree fall towards them with increasing speed._

_Determined to keep his friends safe, Harry raised both of his hands. There wasn't enough time for using his wand, making the situation feel like some kind of déjà vu. This time, however, he was prepared._

_Only a half a foot before the tree came crashing down on them, it simply stopped, hovering in mid air._

_Hermione and Ron were staring at him incredulously, mouths open and eyes wider than he had ever seen._

"_Move! It's not going to last long!", he bellowed at them, running to catch up and shoving them forward harder than he had intended, feeling even more sweat running down from his hair and down his spine, which made the fabric of his shirt cling to him uncomfortably._

_It seemed to break them out of their stupor, however, because they followed in Harry's wake. Ron was dragging Hermione after himself. Thanks to his long legs he was almost as quick as Harry. Hermione had neither the advantage of having spent most of her childhood running away from brutal relatives, nor was she particularly tall, leaving her as the slowest of the three._

_She stumbled enough to make Harry worry that she might fall, but trusted Ron enough to keep her safe._

_Not sooner where they somewhat out of reach, when Harry felt a gush of hot air and the tree came crashing down so close behind them, that their robes nearly caught fire._

_Making sure they got enough distance between themselves and the burning tree, the three Gryffindors stopped, panting harshly and coughing from the amount of smoke they were inhaling._

"_Well, well, well. If it isn't the golden trio.", a overly familiar voice drawled somewhere close to their right, "Potter, Weasel and the Mudblood._

_Harry had gotten so much used to the idea that Malfoy was his friend, although they had a rather weird relationship and a lot of unspoken issues, that this tone of voice made his skin crawl._

"_Malfoy!"_

_Of course it was Ron who responded first, voice angry and eyes full of hatred. His skin was flushed from the run and his red hair a darker shade because of being drenched in sweat as well._

_Furthermore all three of them were covered in dirt and ashes, their robes torn in several places. They were the exact opposite of the ever perfect aristocrat._

_The Slytherin sneered cruelly, eyes cold as ice. He was wearing no mask, but the hood covered his hair as well as casting his face into shadow. If they hadn't known the other's voice so well, they wouldn't have recognized him._

_He was alone, but didn't look in the least bit intimidated by the three of them. Harry wondered what the hell he was doing here on his own._

"_Wow, he recognized me.", Malfoy mocked._

"_It was you!", Ron yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the other boy, "You nearly killed us with that tree!"_

_Malfoy's sneer didn't waver._

"_How very insightful, Weasley.", he drawled on, "Maybe there is hope for you after all and some of the muddblood's intelligence is rubbing off on you."_

_Ron's left hand curled into a fist, his right one shooting up to point his wand at the blonde._

_Malfoy looked nonplussed, his wand hidden between the fold of his robes, making no move to raise it._

"_You are a piece of fucking filth, Malfoy! I always knew that you'd follow your father's example!", Harry cringed, knowing what a big mistake Ron was making by dragging Lucius Malfoy into this, "You are just as much of an asshole as he was, always licking You-Know-Who's boots and crawling into his ass!"_

_Malfoy's body stiffened, finally reacting, his hands started to shake and his grip on his wand tightened._

"_Shut the hell up about my father, Weasley!", the blonde snapped and Harry could hear the underlying pain, "You don't know a fucking thing about him!"_

_Harry could tell by the cruel look in Ron's eyes that he was not about to give it a rest._

"_I know where it landed him", he said, sounding as harsh as he looked, "In his grave!"_

_This was all it took. This one sentence had the same power as if it were the first spell cast in a duel. Malfoy nearly launched himself bodily at Ron, both their wands whipping up, nearly dislodging each others eye, before spell over spell spilled over their lips._

_Harry made an unsure move in their direction, not knowing what to do, when suddenly a sharp, all too familiar, burning pain surged through his scar._

_The pain was intense, nearly sending him to his knees, and he knew: He was here – he was close._

_Pressing the left palm of his hand to his aching scar, he thought he might pass out from the pain. The burning on his forehead combined with the increasing throbbing of his head made it almost impossible for him to form a coherent thought._

_Looking over into the direction of the burning tree, Harry suddenly realised what Malfoy had been doing here. _Why_ Malfoy had almost killed them with that tree._

_He had intended to put some distance between them and Voldemort. He had wanted for them to keep running the same path, which Harry now realised would have led them straight back to the castle._

_But then why had he stayed and picked a fight with Ron? Even though Harry knew that the red head had started it, he knew that Malfoy was aware that there wouldn't be a confrontation without a fight between them._

_Harry was torn from his musing as another sharp stab from his scar made him pant. Looking up, he knew that it would be too late._

_And then he saw it. Saw him._

_Voldemort was walking, almost floating, towards him._

_The smoking train station behind him, the burning houses to either side of him and the dead bodies to his feet made his appearance all honour, aiding in making him look like the devil itself._

_Harry hadn't realised how close they had all been to the train station until then. The distance between Voldemort and him seemed almost none existent._

_His eyes were like frozen fire, deep and foreboding, fixed onto his own not caring about anything else. If Harry had ever any doubts of the dark wizard's obsession with him, this look would have conquered them all._

_Shivering, Harry tried to remain standing. He was not going to simply fall at his feet. If he should die now, he would do it standing up._

_Finally Voldemort stopped. There were only a few feet apart, the still burning tree close to his left, almost between them, making his contours swim slightly._

_There was this look of deep satisfaction on his face, his almost lipless mouth quirked in a cruel sneer and the expression in his eyes told Harry that he knew something that he didn't._

_He shivered and his stomach was in knots, the urge to vomit stronger than ever._

_Then Harry finally saw it and he knew that it was the worst moment of his life. Later he was not sure how he lived through it. He wondered how the little oxygen that managed to force itself into his burning lungs was enough to keep him sustained, how he could still stand, feeling as faint as a newborn unicorn and how his heart could possibly still be beating after it was shattered to pieces._

_Because there was the person he had so much wanted to see, but he was not at his side._

_Having stepped out from behind Voldemort was Tom, slightly shorter than Voldemort himself, but just as proud. There was nearly no resemblance between them, but the simple fact that they were standing side by side was enough._

_Everything that followed after this is a simple blur. Harry had his eyes glued to the only other green pair, that was more unreadable than ever, and wasn't able to move or even think. His eyes were burning, but not even tears managed to fight through his frozen state._

_He could have stood like this forever, slowly drowning in his pain and dying from the inside out._

_Distantly he heard Ron cry out behind him, but he couldn't bring himself to turn around, couldn't even tear his gaze away._

_Even when he saw Voldemort raising his hand and someone calling his name, could he bring himself to move._

_Everything he knew, was that in this very moment he saw Tom's eyes flash and it looked almost like fear, but then Harry was swept off his feet and it was as if the volume had been turned back on and he could hear screaming and the rushing sound of the icy air around him as he flew through the air, before hitting the ground forcefully and finally embracing the darkness that came crashing down around him._

_/T/'H'/T/'H'_

Screaming, Harry shot up from the bed.

He was panting and shuddering and almost felt like fainting again.

Hands were touching him, but it was too dark for him to see anything and Harry was still too panicked and flinched away.

He heard someone yell and suddenly bright light filled the room and Harry had to close his eyes and the fact that he still couldn't see didn't make the situation any better.

Harry still couldn't breath and panic was still griping around his insides.

The somewhat gentle hands were replaced by stronger ones and he was pushed back – on a bed? – and held down before a tingling feeling shot through him and the panic was swept away as if a sudden gush of wind had taken it along.

The gentle, cool hands returned, caressing his face and combing through his hair and Harry could finally draw much needed oxygen into his lungs, giving in to the soothing touch.

"You can let go now.", a voice said and the strong hands fell away.

"I'll go get him some potions.", a deep voice replied, "Can you handle him?"

"Of course.", slightly irritated.

Footsteps and the room once again darkened, accompanied by the sound of a door closing.

"Harry?"

Finally Harry recognised the voice and relief flooded him, letting him relax even more into the soft mattress under him. Slowly blinking his eyes open, Harry managed to make the boy out that was leaning over him.

"Draco…"

Draco's hands didn't withdraw, but one of them slid from his head to his neck in an intimate gesture.

"How are you feeling?", it sounded so soft and his hands were so gentle, that Harry simply closed his eyes again and leaned into the other boy's touch.

"Do you have to ask?"

Draco's grip on him tightened and he leaned even closer.

"So…does that mean…you remember what happened?"

Harry didn't want to open his eyes, he could already feel them burning, so he simply nodded.

Draco had more than a few options on how to react and Harry almost feared that he would be angry and remind him that he had told him from the beginning that Tom…

Gods, he couldn't even think about it.

His head was a single throbbing, aching mess. His thoughts were jumbled and flying through his mind in dizzying circles. The only thing that didn't seem to drown in all of this was the knowledge of Tom's betrayal.

When he felt Draco move, he thought that maybe he would stand, but instead he was drawn upwards into the Slytherin's arms.

Harry's eyes snapped open and he felt like a piece of wood in the gently embrace. Draco didn't relent, holding him tightly, his hands running over his back, over his skin.

This made Harry realise for the first time, that he was only wearing his underwear. Nevertheless Draco's touch was so unthreatening, so soothing and gentle that he gave in, sagging against the taller boy, his hands clutching the Slytherin's thick winter robe.

Despite that his small form was shaking with strangled sobs and his eyes burning more than ever, no tears would come. And as the trembling subsided, Harry felt more and more empty.

When the door opened once again, the Gryffindor was limp in Draco's arms. He felt dead inside. There was nothing left but a dull pain that seemed to fill him whole. Even his body was numb, except maybe his still pounding head.

Looking over, he saw Snape entering, several phials in hand. He should have been more surprised, but somehow he just couldn't bring himself to care.

"Snape.", he stated flatly, drawing back from Draco's arms in order to address him, "Where are we?"

"In my bedroom.", Snape answered instead of him, not commenting on his previous disrespectfulness.

His tall form drew nearer, standing beside the edge of the bed and thrusting the potions he had brought along under Harry's nose.

"Drink these, Potter and then lay back down and go to sleep.", the Potions Master said, the ever present sharpness not missing from his voice, "Anything else can wait. Draco, you will accompany me outside and let Potter have his rest."

Draco looked as if he wanted to protest, but one look into Snape's eyes made him submit wordlessly and he nodded.

Without another word, the Professor left leaving Draco to assist Harry with taking the potions and helping him to lie back down.

Harry did everything the blonde softly instructed him to do and finally let him cover him with the warm duvet.

The Gryffindor could already feel the drowsiness of the potions and his eyes closed involuntarily. He felt Draco caress his cheek, before distantly hearing him exit the room.

He almost regretted not having him told to stay, but was too exhausted to dwell on the subject and let himself once more succumb to darkness.

_/T/'H'_

As soon as Harry came back to awareness, he knew that he wasn't alone. A shiver ran down his spine and his eyes snapped open.

Sitting up far too quickly, Harry almost tumbled over the side of the bed at the force of his sudden dizziness.

Cold, familiar hands grabbed him before he could fall and drew him against an also far too familiar chest.

Despite knowing exactly who it was, Harry involuntarily relaxed. The familiar scent, the breath in his hair, the softness of the robe under his clutching hands…

But the moment passed and reality caught up to him. Cold and unforgiving.

As soon as the nausea had passed, he planted both of his hands firmly on the taller boy's chest and pushed him away with as much force as he could master.

Tom stumbled back in surprise, but caught himself before he fell. Straightening himself, his gaze slowly rose to meet Harry's.

"Harry…"

It was familiar but so different at the same time. His eyes held an unusual vulnerability and his stance was maybe not as sure as it had been. Even his voice was softer, almost…pleading? But that couldn't be true, could it?

He was so cold inside, so hurt and confused and so very desperate. But he fought with what he desired, with what his heart demanded of him. His mind was determined to be heard. His OWN mind, not Tom's. His thoughts, his decisions.

No, Harry would not fall for his lies again. As much as he longed for the other boy, as much as he still loved him, even, there was no way he could trust him again. There's no way he _would_ trust him. He had to find himself again. He had to become himself again, to let go of this obsession, because it was destroying him.

No. Because Tom had destroyed him.

"Don't.", Harry said, but instead of angry it just sounded defeated, his voice rough and pained.

Any fire that maybe had been left inside of him had gone out as soon as he looked into Tom's eyes. Where would he find the strength to do this?

"What are you doing here?", Harry continued flatly, chest tight.

"Harry", Tom repeated, taking a hesitant step into his direction, "I need to talk to you. I need to explain-"

"Explain?", he interrupted incredulously, something finally having snapped inside him, something of his old self leaking through, "And what exactly is there left to explain, huh? I think the sentiment: 'Actions speak louder than words' fits the situation quite perfectly!"

"Harry, please, you don't understand.", Tom drew even closer, his voice sounded rough, almost pained, full of emotion. "It's not what you-"

"Don't you fucking dare telling me it's not what I think!", Harry nearly yelled, jumping up from the bed and succeeding in bringing more distance between them.

He needed every bit of space between them, needed to yell in order to drown out the emotion in Tom's voice.

"I don't need this shit from you! I don't want to hear even one single word from you EVER AGAIN!"

All blood seemed to have drained from Tom's face, his eyes wide and suddenly so expressive as he stood stiff and unmoving, looking more vulnerable than ever. All the tings Harry had so desperately wanted from him were now there. But it was too late. Far too late and Harry would not budge. Not this time, not ever again!

"Harry…"

"Shut up! Just fucking shut up!", now he was yelling, or at least trying to.

His sore throat was straining itself to its limit, his voice hoarse and choked from the sobs he was forcing back. Harry's eyes were burning, his head nearly exploding and he was panting, but he was determined. He would not give in. It was like a mantra repeating itself over and over.

"You can keep your damn lies! I'm done with listening to you!", Harry's vision started to blur, but he just kept on yelling in the hope of fighting down his emotions, "Gods, I was so fucking stupid! Everyone told me who you where – WHAT you were! That you were just playing me, that you were working with Voldemort and most important of all: _that fucking manipulation was you trade mark_! But no! _No_ I didn't listen, because I trusted you! I-I loved you…"

He could feel himself falling apart for good, his whole body slumping against one of the bedposts behind him. The cool wood dug into his back and Harry became aware of his nakedness for the first time since Tom had appeared.

Wrapping his arms around his own shaking body, Harry finally felt the tears come.

"I loved you so much…", it was but a choked breath, his vision almost non-existent.

In this very moment all he wanted to do was die. Sweet death that meant salvation from this unbearable pain.

A gentle touch on his shoulder brought him back to reality and Harry shoved it away forcefully, before the feeling of longing could override the one of his pain and the knowledge of betrayal.

"Don't touch me! I don't want you to ever touch me again, do you understand?! I don't want to see you or even HEAR from you! This is fucking over! You can't depend on naive little Harry anymore, so much craving for attention and love that he would willingly give himself over even to someone like you! You don't even know what love is! You are such a cold bastard that no one ever wanted to love you and now I finally know why!"

Harry didn't know where the words came from, didn't know if he meant them or not.

This very moment all he could do was drink in Tom's reaction to them, which both hurt him and satisfied him at the same time.

The taller boy was shaking with the force of emotions he could not even begin to understand, his eyes overly bright looking so very vulnerable and scared, so full of hurt and confusion.

Harry knew it all, could see it all, but kept lashing out in the hope of protecting himself this time.

"I hate you! I never want you near me again!", it was fierce and sharp and full of fire.

It was the last desperate blaze of the fire that had already died, but burned short and hot for this last time before it would leave him for good.

"Harry, please…don't do this…", Tom's voice was as hoarse as his own, trembling and choked and cutting into Harry's soul.

But he would not give in.

"Just go…", it was almost a plea too.

It was as if Tom's form was becoming less solid, like almost three years ago in the Chamber of Secrets only the other way around. Then Tom had drawn the life force out of Ginny, becoming more and more solid. Now it seemed as though it was working the other way around, making him look like a coloured ghost.

Defeat was written all over him and Harry realised with horror that Tom had given up. He shouldn't be this terrified, it was, after all, what he had wanted. At least that's what he desperately tried to believe he did.

Finally, Harry's knees gave way and he slid to the cold floor, nearly suffocating from the force of his sobs. Distantly he wondered how long he would be able to take this pain. His eyes were so much blinded with tears that he couldn't see if Tom had faded completely, didn't know if he could bear it if he had…

Suddenly soft warmth enfolded his trembling from and when he automatically reached for it, he discovered it to be Tom's Slytherin robe.

Clutching it to himself, he buried his face in it, surrounded by the other boy's scent and for a moment it was almost as if Tom was holding him in his arms.

But Tom was gone and Harry new it, felt the emptiness more than ever. Everything that had remained of him was the little, closed off corner in his mind and this robe he so desperately clung to.


	24. Chapter 24

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hi guys! i'm really trying to update as quickly as possible, because i know that i will have a stressful year at school with final exams and hope that by moving things along i'll maybe not have to put this story on hold for too long when i'll drown in work...i have every intention to keep on writing and use it as a save heavan when school becomes too much :D.

as always i want to thank you for your reviews, i loved them as usual and i love all of you for sticking with me!!!

**another VERY impotant fact**: i can assure you 1 000 percent that this **NEVER WILL turn into a Harry/Draco** **story**. it's Tom/Harry and will stay that way, even though i can understand some of your fears due to the current story line. but PLS DON'T WORRY! i know that this chapter is another load of Draco/Harry, but this will change soon. maybe if you read this you'll understand what i want to underline.

be patient for a bit longer and you'll see that Draco won't stay in the front too much. but of course he is still one of my key characters, so...

anyway, i just wanted to make sure that you know that there will be no change in pairing! for now i hope you

enjoy!

ps: did you miss it? don't worry, here it comes: pls review!!! ;)

* * *

"_So the boy is in you chambers, Severus?", Voldemort absently stroked Nagini's head as he spoke, long fingers gliding over the smooth scales._

_The snake's eyes were closed and she obviously basked in the attention. She was probably the only being he had any affection for, he mused. She was also the one that had never disappointed him and stayed with him all those years that he had been nothing more than a shadow of his previous self._

"_Yes, my Lord.", Snape's voice answered from under the black hood of his Death Eater robes, cutting Voldemort's musings short._

"_So everything happened as planned?", he asked, feeling pleased, although he had become tired of this endless scheming an waiting._

_He had gone through all of this so very often only to be disappointed in the end. But this time it was different, because this time it would finally work. He had never been so sure about anything in his life before._

"_Yes, my Lord.", Snape repeated stoically._

_He didn't trust Severus. He knew that he was a traitor, but was unwilling to dispose of him. He could be quite useful, sometimes and was by far the best Potions Master in Europe, maybe even in the whole continent. Voldemort was not willing to sacrifice a great mind, there were far too few as it was and most of them were wasted on the wrong people anyway._

_Severus was no danger to him, so who was he to keep him from licking Dumbledore's ass and letting the Headmaster of Hogwarts use him as a pawn?_

"_You did well, Severus.", Voldemort said smoothly, wanting to move things along, "You are dismissed. I would like to have a word with Draco in private."_

_There was obvious stiffening in the other man's body and Voldemort narrowed his eyes at him in a silent warning. HE had neither the time nor was he in the mood for game with him. Traitor he may be, but he was still under his command._

_Under his unforgiving stare, Severus finally gave in and bowed his head slightly. What a wise decision._

"_Of course, my Lord."_

_As Snape turned to leave, he brushed the smaller figure that stood behind him and lingered briefly before exiting the room. To whisper some comforting words to his godson, no doubt. How pathetic._

"_Come closer.", Voldemort ordered and Draco obeyed, taking slow, but sure steps until he was standing directly in front of the Dark Lord._

_Voldemort stood, his hand that had been caressing Nagini moving off the snake's head, hearing her hiss her disapproval, as he took another step towards Draco._

_He was only a few inches taller, but it was enough to let him tower over him. Something that he missed with Severus, who was taller than him. _

_Reaching out, Voldemort flicked Draco's hood off with his fingers, registering the short look of surprise that flashed through his eyes, before becoming passive again._

_He had been trained so well, what a pity it was all going to be wasted…_

_One long white finger slid under the boy's chin, titling his head upwards in order to look into his eyes._

_They were so close, that Voldemort could feel the hitch in Draco's breathing as he was touched._

_Smirking slightly, the Dark Lord caressed the pale, smooth skin of the boy. He was indeed a beauty. Perhaps even more so than his father._

"_Draco, Draco", he chided softly, "You would be such a good Death Eater. So much potential, so much intelligence…but there is this little fact that keeps you from doing your best, isn't there?"_

_The blonde's eyes widened, but remained cool. Voldemort had to give him credit. At least in his private thoughts._

_He felt his lips stretching a bit more, amusement growing. He loved how Draco seemed to tremble slightly under his touch._

"_Yes, Draco, I know about your _feelings_", he sneered at the word, "for little Harry."_

_The boy seemed to become rigid and now the Dark Lord could detect a brief flash of fear. His fingers had not dropped from Draco's jaw, kept moving in little caressing motions._

"_Do not fear me, Draco. I can understand that you are drawn to him. Probably more than anyone else.", his voice had dropped to a whisper and Draco seemed to shake even more as his breath wafted over his face, "You are still so young, you have so much left to learn. I will give you one more chance, if you promise me you will try harder in the future. Because I can promise you, that once I finally kill him, I will be free of him.", his red eyes bored into Draco's, "We both will be."_

_Draco seemed to have been shocked into silence and Voldemort willed himself to calm down from the rush of adrenaline that had shot through him when he thought about finally possessing Harry Potter._

_He didn't have to kill him right away, after all…_

_Focusing his attention back on the shaking boy so close to him, he slid both of his hands to Draco's throat._

"_So what will it be, Draco? Will you come to your senses? Because", at this the Dark Lord willed his fingers to tighten around the delicate neck, digits pressing into the soft skin, feeling the erratic pulse beneath them, "you know how much I hate being disobeyed, don't you Draco?"_

_Tightening his grip even more, Voldemort was pleased to hear a chocked gasp come from the blonde, his lips parting to let it through and probably trying to get more oxygen into his lungs that way._

_He enjoyed watching him struggle for a moment, looking into his wide, now openly scared eyes, feeling his heartbeat and pulse increase even more and his throat working under his hands out of reflex._

_Such a pretty sight…_

_Then, as sudden as he had gripped him, Voldemort let him go. He watched in satisfaction as the boy's shaky knees gave way and he fell gasping to his feet, his own hands clutching his throat as he coughed and struggled to breathe._

_Voldemort waited, watching the shaking bundle of Death Eater robes and blonde hair, wanting to see the boy's reaction._

_When Draco had calmed enough to move, he immediately reached out to kiss the hem of Voldemort's robes._

_Such a smart boy…_

"_Please, forgive me, my Lord.", he rasped, throat soar from the former treatment, "I promise I will try harder in future."_

_Despite the raspy sound of his voice, it was stronger than Voldemort would have believed. No weakling, this one, very good._

_But this was undoubtedly Severus' influence._

"_Good.", he was pleased, at least for now, "Dismissed."_

_Turning his back to Draco, he slowly made his way back to his armchair, distantly hearing the boy exit the room._

_Sitting back down, his hand returned to Nagini's head._

_Well, Potter, the board has been set and the pieces are moving._

_/T/'H'_

Gasping, Harry shot up from the bed, his hand clutching his burning scar as he scrambled from out of the tangled sheets and stumbled almost blindly into the bathroom.

He could still feel his – _no Voldemort's_ – fingers on Draco's throat, tightening and tightening…and his eyes, gods his eyes…

Reaching the toilet, Harry fell to his knees. His stomach was empty as it was, there was only bitter bile left to be retched up and Harry was disgusted with himself, his vision blurry and his head throbbing and he was cold and lonely, so lonely…

He missed-

No, no he wouldn't even go there.

Clutching the smooth porcelain with his sweaty hands, he tried to support himself as he got to his feet, but his damp fingers kept sliding on the smooth surface and offering little to no help.

Blindly reaching for the chain to flush the toilet, Harry stumbled over to the sink. It was higher than the one in his bathroom or the bathroom in the dorms, but he barely noticed as he turned on the cold water to rinse his mouth and wash his face.

The water was icy, feeling like thousands of needles against his skin, but so soothing to his burning scar…

By the time the burning had been soothed slightly and every last trace of foulness in his mouth had been rinsed out, Harry's hands were numb and he was shivering.

Shakily, he made his way slowly back to bed. Before he had even reached it, however, he heard rustling from the office. They were back!

He probably had been longer in the bathroom than he had thought.

Not caring about anything else at the moment, Harry rushed outside. The first one he saw was Snape, close enough for him to see that his lips were thin and his jaw tense in probably both anger and worry.

He had his arm around a shaken and even paler than usual Draco. Their eyes met and Harry saw more emotion in them than he had ever thought possible.

_-Yes, Draco, I know about your feelings for little Harry._

Harry's eyes widened. No way.

Quicker than he would have believed possible in Draco's condition, the Slytherin had crossed the room, throwing his warm robes over him.

"What the hell are you doing up?", his voice was still rough and it made Harry's heart ache.

His gazed dropped to the blonde's throat, seeing the angry red marks on the pale skin and made him feel even worse.

It was all his fault. All of it. How much more damage could he possibly cause?

"Stop it, Harry.", Draco said simply, as if he had been reading his thoughts.

He didn't fight the taller boy as he gently, but firmly, led him back to bed, taking back his robes and covering him with the thick covers on Snape's bed.

The Potions Master materialized beside Draco, once again carrying a phial that he held out for Harry to take.

The Gryffindor took it without question and emptied it, handing it back to his teacher.

"Professor Snape-", Harry wanted to offer some kind of gratitude for all the troubles the man had to endure because of him, but Snape interrupted him.

"Just go to sleep, Potter.", he said sharply, "This is no playground, these are my private quarters and you will behave as I see fit. If you need anything you can come to both Draco and myself. Until I say you are fine to walk around or be moved back to your room, you will rest, you will eat, you will take the potions I give you and you will do as I say without complaint. And if I see you wandering anywhere except the bathroom again, I will not hesitate to move you to the hospital wing. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes, sir."

Snape nodded, then turned to leave, after squeezing Draco's shoulder gently as he passed him.

Harry looked back at Draco and felt as if the loneliness was already looming over him again. He didn't want to be alone, it made Tom's absence even more painful, if that was even possible.

Reaching out, his fingers closed around Draco's wrist.

"Will you stay with me?", he asked tentatively.

The Slytherin's eyes softened and it reminded Harry of Tom.

If he tried hard enough, maybe Draco could be Tom for now. They were both Slytherins, had similarities in character and didn't like to express their feelings.

"Of course.", he said softly, throwing the robes in his hands aside and climbing onto the bed.

"It's just…I feel so alone without…", Harry trailed off.

He didn't want to think about Tom. He wanted Draco to _be_ Tom. It would make everything so much easier. At least that's what he wanted to believe at the moment.

"I know.", Draco said softy, lying down at his side, one hand coming up to thread through Harry's unruly hair.

With Draco so close, Harry's eyes were once again drawn to the marks on his neck. Without thinking, he reached out a hand of his own, his fingers gently grazing the skin of the Slytherin's throat.

Draco winced slightly, but didn't move away, covering Harry's hand with the one that wasn't playing with his hair.

"Don't'."

Harry looked up into the other boy's eyes, his own burning suspiciously.

"But it's my fault! If I hadn't insisted you spy for me-"

"Harry, it wasn't your idea.", Draco said firmly, voice still hoarse, "And I don't blame you, so don't do this to yourself."

Harry fell silent, the unspoken words too heavy between them.

_It's _his_ fault, not yours. He manipulated you, he made you blind,…_

Yes, Tom had done all those things, but obviously Harry was already in far too deep.

Shaking his head, Harry tried to clear it. He didn't want to think about any of this now.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to remind you-", Draco interrupted himself, closing his eyes in obvious exhaustion, "Just go to sleep, alright?"

Harry didn't answer, everything was just too much. His mind as well as his heart had suffered a serious overload and Harry was still struggling to deal with all of it. Alone.

"Draco?", he asked suddenly, there was something he just needed to know.

_-Yes, Draco, I know about your feelings for little Harry._

"Yes."

Looking up into the other boy's relaxed face he almost regretted having started this. Almost.

_-Yes, Draco, I know about your feelings for little Harry._

"Are you in love with me?"

Draco eyes snapped open and he turned his head so quickly that Harry feared he might dislocate something.

"What?!", he rasped, nearly choking on his on breath.

His silver eyes were wide and vulnerable. Almost the same way Tom has looked at him only yesterday. Or was it the day before yesterday?

_Doesn't matter - too long ago…_

"Just…Just answer me."

Draco continued to look at him for some time, both of them silent, before he lowered his head, breaking their gaze.

"I-", he broke off, swallowing hard before trying again, "Yes."

_-Yes, Draco, I know about your feelings for little Harry._

Harry stared at him in disbelieve. Assuming something and knowing it are two very different things.

Sitting up, Draco turned to him, silver eyes suddenly stormy and wild.

"Yes, I am in fucking love with you!", the hoarseness of his voice made him sound even harsher, as if he was lashing out, but maybe he was, "But of course you never noticed! Because there was Tom here and Tom there and- fuck…"

As sudden as the outburst had come, it vanished again. His voice trailed off, his hands coming up to rub over his face tiredly. He looked as if he had aged several years in the past two days.

"Draco-", Harry said carefully, but Draco wouldn't have it.

"Just shut up, Harry.", he said, voice strained and muffled by his hands, "And fucking go to sleep."

This time Harry didn't protest. He waited, wondering if Draco would leave, but the blonde only sighed and lay back down at his side, eye still closed and hands in his already loose and slightly tangled hair.

"I'm sorry, Draco.", he whispered, before closing his eyes.

_-Yes, Draco, I know about your feelings for little Harry._

_Gods, just shut up…_

_/T/'H'/T/'H'_

_Harry burned, his body on fire as he arched into every caress, moans muffled between their lips. It was so good, so good…_

_Because it was Tom. Tom's lips kissing him, Tom's tongue plunging deeply into his starved mouth and Tom's body pressing their naked skin together, letting their heated flesh slide and grind together._

_And then the tongue retreated and the mouth pulled away, sliding over his cheek, to his ear where the taller boy breathed whispered words into it, making Harry shiver and clutch onto him desperately._

"_Trust me.", he was saying softly, his lips moving over his skin as if he wanted to print the words into his neck, "Just trust me, Harry."_

_But then the lips were gone, and Tom was gone and Harry's eyes snapped open and darted around, frantically trying to locate the other boy._

_Harry was floating in blackness, lost and alone. There was a wall inside his mind, keeping him away from Tom, leaving him worried and clueless of his whereabouts and thoughts._

_Hugging himself, there were suddenly voices. They were hollow and came from every side making him feel even more exposed and alone._

_They were saying all the things he had fought for so long, leaving his heart bleeding and his chest and throat so tight he could barely breathe._

_--"Fuck Myrtle! He almost killed my sister and even you! What has he done to you? Is he possessing you?"--_

"_No", Harry whimpered, huddling back into an invisible corner trying to be as small as possible._

_It reminded him of all the times he had done that when uncle Vernon had been yelling at him._

_--"You actually want me to believe that? You were kissing him! It's only been what – Two months? – since you've had him in your head! And even putting this utterly insane fact aside, he is SOLID for heaven's sake! Do you have any idea how serious this is?! He's Tom Riddle!"--_

_Harry felt as if someone had hit him physically, burying his face in his knees and curling up tighter. Why couldn't they stop?_

_--"If I were you I wouldn't follow a powerful dark wizard like a love sick puppy, Potter. I hate to break the news to you, but the world isn't all rosy and nice. Hasn't your mother told you not to accept sweets from strangers?"--_

"_Stop", Harry whimpered pitifully, "Please stop…"_

_But the voices would not hear, wouldn't show mercy._

"_I guess not. Well, I'm telling you now, Potter, and you better listen to me. Only because he's fucking you, doesn't mean he gives shit about you and if you actually had any brain in your possessed mind, you'd remember that Tom Riddle's strongest weapon is his gift to manipulate and control people. Only because he's distracting you with his dick, doesn't mean he isn't planning anything."_

_And suddenly the voices were gone and Tom was back._

_Harry's head snapped up and he took in the sight of the taller boy, trembling, vulnerable and as lost as he was._

"_Harry, please, you don't understand.", Tom drew even closer, his voice rough and pained, full of emotion. "It's not what you-"_

"_No", Harry nearly choked on the word, it wasn't what he wanted to say._

_He wanted to crawl back to Tom and accept anything he might say. He wanted him back so bad it made him incoherent, careless of anything but Tom._

"_Harry, please…don't do this…", Tom's voice was hoarse and trembling and Harry wanted to give in._

_He wanted to, but something in him just wouldn't let him and so he watched as Tom faded again and was gone for real._

_No, come back, oh god…_

_/T/'H'/T/'H'_

Harry's eyes snapped open and he gasped for breath frantically. He was dizzy from the lack of oxygen and felt even emptier than he had when he had closed his eyes.

His fingers were aching and he discovered that he had clutched the sheets so tightly that they had nearly torn.

Shaking, he willed his cramped hands to loosen and slowly brought them to his face, feeling the dampness of the cold sweat on his brow that had left his hair slightly wet and even more messed.

As he trembled, Harry could feel that even his back was stuck to the sheet under him, the sweat that was drying on his body making him feel even colder.

His thoughts were a mess, his feelings all over the place and Harry seemed unable to get a grip. When had he become this pathetic? This needy?

Suddenly there was an arm moving around him. It was warm, but the hand that followed, along with the fingers that splayed on his naked torso, were cold.

It reminded him of Tom and there was just nothing left in him to fight, so he simply went limb and allowed the other boy to pull him into his arms and hold him against his warm, still fully clothed body.

There was hot breath on his face and Harry leaned further into the gentle embrace. He refused to acknowledge that it was Draco, who was holding him, because he forced himself to believe that if he concentrated hard enough he could make himself imagine that it was really Tom here in bed with him and not Draco.

Determined to make himself forget, Harry blindly reached for the other boy, drawing him closer by yanking at the collar of his shirt and crashing their lips together in a forceful kiss.

There was a muffled gasp and Harry took the opportunity to thrust his tongue into the warm mouth beneath his. The other boy way pliant almost immediately, his body melting under Harry's assault.

Try as he might, the Gryffindor was unable to make himself believe that it was Tom beneath him and stalked it off to the fact that he was still too coherent.

Also in the back of his mind he knew that if he really had been kissing Tom then he would already be unable to form even one sensible thought and his body would already be burning.

Nevertheless, his usual stubbornness and determination would not let him loose this fight. If he wasn't concentrated enough to imagine Draco as Tom than at least he could forget about him.

His obsession, his utter _carving_ for the other boy would end right now. He needed to clear his head, needed to get away from the feelings that were practically destroying him. He had become so weak, so very weak that he was disgusted with himself.

Harry roughly pushed Draco on his back, pinning him to the bed with his weight. Although much smaller than the Slytherin, Harry had no trouble grabbing the other boy's wrists and shoving them above his head as he ground his hips against the blonde's.

Draco moaned into his mouth and he could feel the other boy's hardness swelling as he pushed harder against him, his grip on his wrists tightening.

Harry's lips slid from the Slytherin's mouth to his neck and bit down harshly as he pushed their groins together once more. This tore a soft, hoarse cry from the blonde, but he offered no resistance, instead arching to meet his movements.

But even as he continued in an even more frenzied pace, the scent he was breathing in was not right. The skin under his hands too soft, as much as he tried to tighten his grip to banish that thought. The voice was not deep enough and the body and mouth beneath his too pliant and submissive.

Despite all this Harry kept going, kept trying, even with his hands aching and their lips bruised and swollen and still Draco didn't protest, even as Harry bit his shoulder and pushed even harder.

He could feel the heat building in the pit of his stomach, was determined to find release. Release from his thoughts, release from the pain in his heart, release from Tom.

But when he felt his orgasm finally washing over him and pressed his eyes closed, it was him that he was seeing, it was him that he wished was shuddering underneath him, with him.

And when Harry fell onto Draco, spent and panting, he felt his eyes burning and hot wetness leaking out of them, drenching his cheeks and Draco's neck where he had buried his face.

He felt Draco's wrists wriggling free from the now slack hold and a moment later the blonde's arms were around him, holding him tightly as they both trembled.

"I'm sorry", Harry choked out, nearly inaudible, "I'm so sorry."

"Shhh, it's okay, I know,.", Draco whispered, tightening his hold on him, "I know."

* * *

please note that the line Voldemort uses : '_Well, Potter, the board has been set and the pieces are moving.' _was originally inspired by _Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King_ were Gandalf uses very similiar words (quote: _'The board is set. The pieces are moving.'_) 

you may have recognized them, i just thought they fit. :)


	25. Chapter 25

Inside your Mind 

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: here i am again! sorry, this update took a bit longer than i had expected, but i blame everything on this chapter. i don't really like how it turned out, except maybe the end, that's somehow like i imagined it to be. anyway, i just thought i'd post it as it is. the next chapter is much more important and i'd like to start on that.

i hope you will be happy with the conext, if anything else :) .

THANK YOU for all the lovely reviews. i really am sorry for the Harry/Draco part, but it's just part of the plot and i promise there will be no more of it.

i'll try to update quickly. pls review :)!

enjoy!

* * *

When Harry opened his eyes, it was still dark, but not as dark as he remembered. He was aching all over and his head was throbbing, which was something he was slowly becoming used to.

Blinking sleepily, Harry fought to sit up, aching even more. It almost seemed as if every one of his muscles was sore and protesting at every move.

It irritated him that he still had no glasses and therefore limited sight. Though even with his glasses, the chances of seeing much in Snape's dim bedroom were near to nil.

When he rubbed over his face tiredly, he felt his lips sting and suddenly the memories of last night flooded back into his brain.

Harry felt suddenly sick. With his head cleared and after hours of sleep to make him feel more human, he was shocked at himself. How could he have let things escalate like that? What the hell had he been thinking?

Burying his head in his hands, Harry shuddered as he remembered how roughly he had treated Draco and what they had done. It felt even more wrong now than it had last night.

When he thought of Tom it made everything even worse. Harry almost felt guilty, but that only fuelled the anger against himself even more. He should feel guilty because of the unforgivable treatment he had bestowed on Draco, not because it somehow felt as if he had been cheating on Tom. After all, it was all a lie. They never had anything to begin with.

Right?

Fuck, this was the last thing he had needed on top of everything else. What he needed was to get a fucking grip. To get himself back under control and he was starting right this instant.

Although never having been proud at nature, he'd had some amount of dignity. At least he had possessed it before Tom came along and turned him inside out.

A sudden crack beside the bed made him nearly jump from his skin.

"Dobby!", he said in surprise.

"Harry Potter, sir!", the elf squeaked, a big grin on his face, "Dobby is happy to see Harry Potter awake! How is Harry Potter doing?"

"Fine, thanks.", Harry answered, watching the elf placing a tray of food on the bedside table, "What about you?"

He was exactly how he remembered him. Wearing clothes and a 'hat' and looking absolutely content.

"Oh, Dobby is great, sir!", he replied enthusiastically, "Dobby brought you lunch, sir!"

"Is it lunchtime already?", Harry asked, cursing the dungeons for their darkness, "What day is it? Is Professor Snape in the Great Hall?"

"Yes, yes it's lunchtime and Professor Snape is there as is everyone else.", Dobby nodded, ears flapping, "It's December 11th, a Saturday."

Harry rubbed over his scar absentmindedly.

"I see.", he said slowly, "Dobby can you do me a favour?"

"Of course, Harry Potter!"

Harry shifted slightly on the bed to relieve some of the strain, but it didn't really help.

"Can you go to the Hospital Wing and see if Ron is still there and if he's well?"

"Of course, Dobby will go right away.", Dobby nodded, before heaving the tray onto the bed, "But now Harry Potter must eat."

Harry sighed, but took the tray and inspected the food on it wearily. He had no appetite, still feeling sick.

Dobby vanished with a promise to return and Harry turned his attention back to the food.

He tried to nibble on the chicken leg, but felt the sickness in his stomach only increase, so he let it fall back on the plate and contemplated what he should do with it to make it look as if he'd eaten.

Having made his decision, Harry retrieved his wand from the bedside table and pointed it at the food.

"_Evanesco_."

After it had disappeared, he took the glass of pumpkin juice and drank half of it before placing the tray aside.

Not wanting to lay back down, Harry decided to take a shower.

_/T/'H'_

When he returned, clad in a bathrobe and towelling his hair, Draco was waiting for him, seated on the foot of the bed.

Harry froze in the doorway, not able to make out the other boy's expression because of the distance and his lack of glasses.

They stared at each other for a moment, before Harry continued to step into the room.

He sat down slowly on the other side of the bed, dropping the towel and wrapping himself tighter into the big, fluffy robe.

"How are you feeling?", Draco asked, his voice still a bit scratchy, but sounding awfully normal otherwise.

"Fine.", Harry lied, looking away.

He studied Snape's Slytherin coloured sheets, avoiding Draco's eyes and contemplating what to say.

"Draco-" – "Harry-"

They began at the same time, then stopped.

Draco smiled weakly, which the Gryffindor returned.

"You first.", Harry said.

He watched as the blonde took a deep breath, before speaking.

"I just wanted you to know that I know that last night meant nothing to you. I know that…", Draco faltered slightly, taking another breath, "I know that you are in love with Riddle. I can't understand why, but I'll probably have to accept it."

Harry stared at him. It was not at all what he had expected. So very unlike the blonde to give in.

"I wanted to tell you that we can forget last night ever happened and I want to be your friend, if nothing else.", Draco continued softly, not looking at him, "And if you need anything, or just want to talk, I can do that."

Harry sat in shocked silence for another few moments, before getting up and moving around the bed and reaching out a hand to touch Draco's shoulder.

"Thank you.", he said, feeling guiltier than ever, "And for what it's worth: I really am sorry."

Draco closed his own hand around his wrist, this time looking into his eyes as he spoke.

"I know you are.", he said simply.

It was no declaration of forgiveness, nor a salvaging speech, but for now it was enough.

_/T/'H'_

Harry was leafing through a textbook when there was a knock on the bedroom door.

Looking up in surprise, Harry called out automatically. He would never become used to Snape's bedroom, that was for sure, but he slowly started to feel a little less unwelcome than he had the first time he had woken up.

The door opened and inside came Dumbledore. He was absolutely not what Harry had expected.

The Gryffindor took in the tired look in the usually sparkling eyes and the deep lines on the other wizard's face. He looked more exhausted then ever.

"Headmaster!", he said in surprise.

Harry wasn't sure if he should be happy about the old wizard's visit or of he should worry.

"Hello, Harry.", he said slowly coming closer before stopping next to Snape's bed, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine.", Harry said carefully, his hands playing absentmindedly with the covers.

He was starting to feel like an invalid, or maybe a highly pregnant woman. He had no idea why Snape thought it necessary to tie him to the bed like this. Yes, he was still exhausted from the battle and yes there were some injuries from the explosion, but that didn't mean that he couldn't rest in his own room.

Had he gotten orders from Dumbledore to keep an eye on him? From Madame Pomfrey to keep him in bed? Whatever it was, Harry was starting to get annoyed by it. He was no child, he could take care of himself.

_-Yes, we could all see that._

_Shut up._

"I came here to apologize.", Dumbledore's voice tore him from his thoughts and let his eyes snap to the old wizard's tired face.

Harry felt his previous resentment evaporating. Dumbledore looked more human than he had ever had. He had no right to believe that only because he was wise, he wasn't allowed to make mistakes.

"I deeply regret my actions and wanted to ask your forgiveness. It was anything but appropriate to place that portrait in your room. I just wanted to tell you that it has been removed and how sorry I am for all of this. Please know that it was only concern that clouded my judgement."

They looked at each other for a few long moments until Harry lowered his gaze.

"I'm sorry, too.", he said softly, swallowing the lump in his throat, "Thank you for telling me."

Dumbledore's blue eyes were soft as he reached out to place a long fingered hand onto Harry's shoulder and give it a gentle but reassuring squeeze.

This little gesture, that Dumbledore had reached out to touch him and that Harry had allowed it, told both of them that they were ready to move on and forget about their past mistakes. It made Harry feel a little lighter.

"If you need anything, please remember that I am always here if you need any help.", the Headmaster said as he squeezed once more before letting go.

"Thank you."

Dumbledore smiled at him and some of the old sparkle returned to his eyes, before he made his way back to the door, for once not a man of great words.

Harry saw him reach for the handle and open the door and suddenly had this urge to say something more.

"Professor Dumbledore?", he called out.

The older wizard stopped and turned halfway around, giving Harry the time to study his profile. Dumbledore's nose looked crooked, something Harry had known it to be but never took the time to take in. Looking at it closely now, the Gryffindor mused that maybe the Headmaster had broken it sometime in the past.

"Yes?"

Harry moved his gaze from Dumbledore's nose and to the now sparkling eyes, feeling strangely relieved to see them look like he knew them.

"I'm really glad you came to see me today.", he admitted softly.

Dumbledore's smile widened and he turned to face him fully.

"Me too, Harry, me too."

And Harry smiled back.

_/T/'H'_

It was two weeks later, that Harry lay on his bed and thought back about what had happened.

It all seemed like a blur, really.

He had stayed in Snape's quarters for another three days, doing nothing more than letting Draco fill him in about school and them doing some homework together.

The first thing Harry had done when Snape had 'released' him was to go up to the Hospital Wing to see how Ron was doing.

His best friend had suffered from a severe injury to his right leg. Although otherwise there was nothing wrong, Madame Pomfrey feared that Ron wouldn't be able to fully recover and probably not be able to use it as thoroughly as he had before.

The pain and the knowledge of the probable handicap, small as it may was, made Ron almost impossible to deal with.

He blamed everything on Draco and as soon as he opened his mouth, insults against the blonde Slytherin were pouring out of him along with several plans of revenge and how to make the other boy's life as unbearable as possible.

Nevertheless, Harry and Hermione were with him every day and learned to just drown him out when he threw another one of his hissy fits.

This resulted in the three of them returning almost to normal, as if there never had been any problems between them.

Other than that, Harry had tried to completely drown himself in schoolwork, his research about the veil and maybe other possible hints as to the Sirius-Lucius affair.

Draco tried to find out more, but he wasn't able to get any more information on the subject than he had before. There were also almost no Death Eater meetings, leaving them to believe that Voldemort lay low for the moment.

Harry had had a few nightmares, but they were nothing extraordinary and didn't give away anything of Voldemort's plans.

For the first time since making his decision to get himself back under control, Harry was at a loss of what to do.

He had tried so hard over the past two weeks to keep himself busy and his mind focused on various different things, that he had exhausted himself more than he thought he could take.

Harry had been lying constantly to everyone around him, including himself, and was slowly becoming skilled in pretending to be or feel something he actually wasn't.

To his friends he was almost back to normal, acting very much like the Harry they had always known. He was around all the time, was talking almost as much as he used to and making a great effort to smile and laugh regularly. It was almost as if he had them programmed, only he didn't want to admit it…

Then there was the fact that he was constantly becoming paler and thinner, but kept on telling his friends it was because of the after-effects of the battle. He was just strained, Harry would reassure them, just a bit tired but otherwise feeling well.

In reality, Harry had made a habit out of letting his food vanish from his plate, little by little, making it look as if he ate, but actually wasn't.

He had reduced to living off pumpkin juice, tea and something small from the breakfast table like toast or maybe some flakes or bred.

It was not that he wanted to starve himself, Harry kept telling himself, he just wasn't hungry.

Probably this was the most honest of all the things he had been saying and thinking in the last time. He had tried to eat normally, but after having eaten half of the meal he had gotten sick and had been throwing up everything he had consumed.

So he had stuck to eating little to nothing, but at least didn't have to vomit all the time, something he hated more than anything else. It was something he had done, and kept doing, far too often. Emptying his stomach was one of the most disgusting things Harry could think of. He hated every part of it. The sick feeling in his stomach, that made him believe his organs were twisting and knotting themselves. After that the unmistakeable feel of the muscles in his abdomen tightening and his throat starting to burn as it strained itself as if wanting to let loose a cough. And finally, of course, the utter disgusting taste in his mouth as he was forced to bend over a cold, unforgiving toilet. His hands and brow sweaty and his body freezing and shaking like a leaf.

Yes, Harry hated it very much.

So here he was, lying on his bed and philosophizing about vomiting and how fine he was. It was right this moment that Harry felt all of his inner resistance crumbling and his exhausted and weak body almost melting into the mattress under him.

Why? Why wasn't he better?

He had fucking done EVERYthing he could possibly have and after two weeks of faking and being 'fine' he was almost a low as he had been when he had decided to finally move on.

Harry tried one final time to make himself believe that he would make it, before simply letting the thought go and doing something he had never done before: he gave up.

The feelings of defeat that swept over him, almost felt like a wave of relief. He was suddenly feeling calm and, for the first time in two weeks, actually _real_.

There was no more stretching of his aching facial muscles in the strain of forcing a smile, no more hurting lungs as he fought to get out a laugh that would have rather liked to be a sob and no more determination to keep moving and thinking.

Everything that was left behind, was the truth. Cold and unforgiving, but the truth nonetheless.

Harry was beyond making himself do things he actually didn't want and it should have been frightening how easy it was to let it all go.

"You won, okay?", he breathed out, eyes heavy lidded and any strength he might have had gone with the exhalation accompanying these words, "You fucking won, Tom."

Taking a deep, shuddering breath Harry let his eyes close as they started to burn.

"So just come back.", he whispered, "I want you back."

There was a moment when everything stood still. Harry was frozen in place by the silence and even holding his breath as he waited.

Then he could feel a familiar shift inside his mind and in one big wave, Tom's presence, his whole being, flooded back from behind the closed off dam they both had created.

It was too much, but it felt so good, so very good that Harry couldn't stop himself from curling into a tight ball and sobbing with relief.

He didn't care what had happened, didn't care what would happen, he just knew that he could never EVER endure something like this again. He was finally complete again, even more complete than he had been before.

And then there was warmth behind him and familiar long arms along with the body wrapped around him, curling around him from behind.

Hot breath warmed the nape of Harry's neck, stirred his unruly hair and he could feel soft lips pressing onto the same spot briefly.

"Harry…", just a breath, an exhalation against his skin, demanding nothing.

Too afraid to turn around, but unwilling to ever lose this again, Harry desperately clutched at the warm arms around him, his fingers digging into the fabric of the shirt covering them.

"Tom…", he whispered and in this one word was everything that he actually yearned to say: _you're here, I love you, never leave me again, I'm sorry, tell me you'll stay, tell me you love me too…_

And Tom knew, just as he had always known, and he answered in his own way that was much more honest than any words he had every spoken. He tightened his arms and pressed his body closer to his smaller one, his lips pressing back onto his neck in a soft, wet kiss, just as he wrapped himself around him mentally, no barriers, no walls. They melted together there was no telling whose emotions belonged to whom, because they where all woven together.

And Harry knew, too.


	26. Chapter 26

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hey guys! 501 reviews! WOW, i couldn't believe it, thank you SOOO much i love you all!

i'm sorry for the long wait, but i hope that the contence of this chapter will make up to it. if you should be still confused after reading it, don't worry there will be a whole lot more of explaining in the next one too! i really hope you like it, it was one of the hadest chapters for me to write and i had to take extra care. i hope everything fits together, if you have any questions, pls feel free to ask and i will answer them as good as i can.

for now,

enjoy!

p.s.: please note that i imagined the veil to be more like in the 5th movie. i normally don't like the movies much, but for my purpose it just fits better. meaning that the veil itself is a veil made of mist, not an actual curtain as i believed is mentioned in the book, framed by an arch.

pps.: PLS keep reviewing, i love reading them and you're what keeps me going!

* * *

When Harry woke up, he was warm and comfortable. His mind was clouded with sleep and could feel Tom's warm breath on the back of his neck and unconsciously pushed back to mold himself even more into the other boy.

The arms around him tightened and Harry could feel Tom gently pressing his face into the nape of his neck, his breath stirring the hair there.

If Harry could wish for something, it would be to lie like this forever, but as his brain slowly cleared, he knew that the longer he allowed this kind of closeness, the harder it would become to move away.

Sighing, Harry detangled himself, feeling Tom's grip on him tighten before letting him go.

He still wasn't able to look at him and simply got up from the bed and rubbed his face with his hands.

Hearing Tom move behind him, Harry braced himself and finally turned around to face him for the first time since he had told him he never wanted to see him again.

Their deep connection from last night was slightly more closed off, Harry having withdrawn unconsciously from Tom. For the first time, however, he was able to feel some of the things going on inside the Slytherin.

When their gazes met he was surprise to see how open Tom's expression was.

The Slytherin had sat up on the bed, only wearing the school uniform, including the tie, without the shoes or robe. Harry's heart clenched when he thought about Tom's robe lying folded under his pillow in order to bury his nose in it in the deep of the night when sleep refused to come to him.

Taking a deep breath, Harry looked searchingly into Tom's eyes, forcing his throat to cooperate.

"Why did you come back?", it was soft and the underlying emotion thick.

Tom looked at him silently, before dropping his gaze to the sheets.

"I need you.", it was so softly uttered that Harry could barely hear it.

The words made his heart beat faster, but the mistrust was still too strong, making the feeling turn bitter and resulted in lashing out at the other boy.

"Like you needed me when you betrayed me? Needed me to make your plan work?", Harry's voice rose involuntarily, maybe unconsciously hoping that it would be enough to keep his feelings under control.

The Slytherin's gaze snapped up, eyes deep and vulnerable.

"No…Harry, listen, I-", Tom broke off, taking a deep breath and lowering his gaze, "This is very hard for me."

Harry could feel his resistance crumble, but forced his darker side to take over. He was not going to make it easy for the other boy. He couldn't. There was no way he would survive another betrayal.

"What? To say the truth? I can imagine.", Harry bit out scathingly.

Tom looked stung and looked away. It made his heart clench and Harry felt his hands tightening to fists, fingernails digging into the flesh of his palms. He had to be strong. He couldn't become this blind, needing, _stupid_ creature again.

The Slytherin didn't answer, simply kept staring at the sheets on the bed as if they held the solution to all of his problems.

"So you don't deny that you had every intention of betraying me? That it had been all planned from the start?", Harry went on challengingly.

_Please say yes._ Harry pleaded deeply inside of him. He wanted so much for Tom to have a reasonable explanation and for the other boy to tell him that he had never had any intentions of betraying him in any way. _Just _please_ say yes!_

"No."

This one word was enough to make the smaller boy feel as if the ground had dropped out from underneath him. He could feel the familiar choked feeling tightening his chest and his breathing turned shallow.

Harry felt weak in the knees as he stumbled to the end of the bed to support himself on one of the posts. His cheeks felt numb from all the blood that had drained from his face.

"So…everything…was a lie?", it was only a whisper.

It wasn't as if he hadn't somehow already known that, or even thought that before. It was the fact that now it had been spoken aloud. The words had actually left his throat and, as silent as they may have been uttered, they echoed in his ears making the depth of Tom's deceit more real than it had ever been.

The taller boy rose from the bed, slowly. It almost seemed as if he feared that if he made a too quick movement, Harry would bolt or maybe fall apart.

The Gryffindor eyed him warily. He wasn't sure which one of these assumptions hit closer to home.

"Not everything.", it was the first time that Tom's voice sounded firm again.

He moved closer, cautiously, watching Harry closely in order to foresee any actions beforehand.

Letting his small form slump even further against the post, Harry forced the next words past the lump in his throat, making them sound hoarse and quiet.

"Did you lie when you told me you loved me?"

Tom halted every movement and only by the look in his eyes, Harry knew what the answer would be.

Eyes stinging Harry's knees finally refused to support him any longer and he slid to the ground.

"Yes", Tom said softly, lowering himself to his knees and leaning closer, rushing to continue talking, "But Harry you have to listen, I had no idea how I felt about you. I was confused and I had to get you to trust me so quickly…Yes, I lied to you. A lot."

He paused, but Harry refused to look at him until Tom reached out to title his head up by sliding a finger under his chin.

His fingers were cold, but the touch felt like a caress.

Not having enough strength left to fight, Harry obeyed the finger's movement and allowed their eyes to meet.

He was almost overwhelmed with the amount of emotion he saw in the other boy's eyes, still not used to see any kind of feelings reflected there.

"But I didn't lie when I said I never felt this way before.", Tom went on, his voice having dropped to almost a whisper, "I told you the truth when I said I had no idea what love is. You were the first person I cared about other than myself. I was scared out of my mind, I had no idea what to do. I thought that if I just stuck to the plan, everything would solve itself. I blamed it on our connection that I felt this way and withdrew as much as I could, hoping that this…need for you would lessen."

Harry's chest felt tight and his eyes were burning now, Tom's hand had moved again, but he was unable to look away from the other boy's eyes.

The Slytherin's cool hand stroked over his cheek fleetingly, then brushed through his hair before coming to a rest on his left forearm that lay across his lap.

"And then there was Malfoy. I hated him with a passion I hadn't known I possessed, because I just knew from the start. He was looking at you in a way you didn't understand then, but I knew.", Tom paused, lowering his gaze and swallowing before taking a deep breath and looking back up, "I wanted to hurt him so bad that day he was so feverently trying to plant as much doubt in you as possible. I hated the words he used to describe everything we had and my anger was sudden and also quite unreasonable, because in every word he used there was some truth. For the first time in my life I was disgusted with myself. This was new to me as well. I never regretted anything that I did before and it made me even more angry to know that being with you could."

There was a pause again. Harry didn't say anything, only kept looking into Tom's eyes, feeling the honesty of every word he was saying.

His head was reeling with it all, but for the first time in the weeks without him, he felt this fire inside of him sparking back to life. Slowly, but surely.

The inner hunger for knowledge was back and the wall where he had tried to keep every thought of Tom barricaded was crumbling.

"And that made me retreat even further, resulting in making you unsure and trust Malfoy more and more. The night his father died, you were so attentive of him. You ignored me and focused all of his attention on him and there just wasn't any rationality left in me. I didn't care how out of character I was being, because when he looked at you like that, when you let him _touch_ you and hold you I wanted to kill him. And maybe I would have, had the need to claim you not been this great.", another deep breath, sounding shaky.

Harry gave in to the urge and covered Tom's hand with his own, allowing their fingers to intertwine.

"I was so angry. Angrier than I had ever been and I lost control. I never thought I could ever lose control like this, but I did. Over you. Because I was so jealous, so determined to make you see that you were mine and no one else's."

"I was always yours."

"I know."

"Please go on."

"I wanted you so much then, but I just- somehow I just couldn't take you like this. So angry and so out of control…it just didn't feel right. And after I got my senses back I was so scared that you had this kind of power over me. I tried so hard to shut you out, but you just wouldn't yield, wouldn't accept my coldness and I…I wanted to tell you after that. I wanted to tell you everything."

"Why didn't you? Why?"

"I-I don't know…the time never seemed to be right and when it finally was, it was too late. He was already here, Malfoy interrupted…"

"And then you thought 'what the hell' and ran to Voldemort?"

"No…Well yes, but not like this. It was just that when we left your room I had doubts about everything. I wanted to be strong again, not to have to think about you. I thought that if I pushed you hard enough, I'd get my old self back."

"So did it help?"

"No"

Silence fell over them like a thick blanket. Harry tried to take all of this in, but his head was hurting and he was confused. It was just too much information at once.

All this time he had asked himself what went on inside of the other boy, but now that he did he wasn't sure what to do with it.

He wanted to forgive Tom, wanted to trust him again, but just felt like he couldn't. Not like this. Not with just another bunch of words.

If he had learned anything, then Harry learned to trust Tom's actions more than his words.

"And now what?", Harry broke the silence finally.

He was reluctant to meet Tom's eyes and drew his knees up to his chin, letting go of Tom's hand in order to wrap his arms around his legs. He felt vulnerable under the other boy's gaze and the fact alone that he had asked a question like this was an indication that he gave Tom some of his power back.

"I told you I need you.", the Slytherin said firmly, "And I want you. You should know that I'm willing to do anything to get what I want."

Harry's gaze finally rose to meet the other boy's. Tom didn't waver, his eyes were open and Harry could see the determination in them.

Not breaking the gaze, Harry reached out mentally, brushing against the other boy and searching for some sign of dishonesty.

Tom didn't protest, didn't withdraw. He tensed only slightly, but opened up willingly.

Not able to be this close to the Slytherin for too long, Harry backed off again. He was trembling slightly from the intensity of both of their feelings and it was him that withdrew, afraid he would cave in too much and be hurt all over again.

Mulling over every word Tom had said, Harry thought about his answer carefully. He could tell the other boy that he needed time to think, that he would answer him tomorrow or maybe even later than that, but they both knew that it wouldn't matter. It didn't matter if Harry admitted it now or tomorrow or some other time, they both knew he was as helplessly in love with Tom as ever.

Making his decision, Harry finally met the other's gaze again, which hadn't wavered even once.

"You know how I feel about you.", Harry started slowly, careful to keep full control over both his emotions as well as the conversation, "But you also know that I can't simply trust you again like I did the first time."

Something in Tom's eyes shifted and Harry watched in mortified rapture as they darkened. Not with anger, but pain, before they were cast down.

Beside all better judgment, Harry reached out for him instinctively. His fingers brushed gently over a cold cheek and by feeling it warm under his touch, Harry couldn't help but cradle it in the palm of his hand. He had missed this so much…

"Not yet.", Harry continued, his throat feeling slightly strained, but his voice was firm, "I want to believe you, you know I do. All I ask of you is to give me time until you convince me that I can. Because after all that I've been through this past month, I need to know that you are willing to fight for me. I want you to proof your feelings for me, not by telling me pretty words, I don't need them, but by being honest with me and by showing me that I mean something to you. Can you do that, Tom?"

Tom's eyes were once again without any walls and all of the other boy's emotions lay bare for him to see/feel. Harry was still not able to really read them, as they were far too raw and jumbled, but just by looking up, looking at him _like this_ gave Harry the answer before the Slytherin had even given the slight nod that came after.

His chest felt suddenly as if a weight had been lifted off it and Harry was finally able to breath again. Tom reached up with his own hand to cover the one that lay on his cheek, gripping it gently.

"Are you sure that this is what you want?", Tom's voice was low, his eyes searching as if afraid of the answer, "Because when I told you that my mind is a dangerous place to be, I meant it. Once we start with this, there is no turning back and once I open myself like that, you will have to stick with me, Harry. You know I don't do things halfway, that I devote all of me once I have a purpose. And if you want me, want to be with me then you will be mine and I won't let you go. Not ever. You have to understand that. This is serious, really serious. Is this really what you want?"

Harry should have been shocked by this, but strangely enough he wasn't. He understood Tom on a level that almost frightened him.

Shifting his body so that he was kneeling, Harry reclaimed his hand and used it to close the short distance between them, crawling into Tom's lap and wrapping his arms around the taller boy's shoulders.

Tom turned his head and pressed their cheeks together while wrapping his long arms around Harry's small form, almost crushing him against his chest.

'_Yes, you are what I want. All of you, just as you are.'_

It was the first time that they shared this sort of connection again and Tom's arms tightened even further, pressing every inch of their bodies together, a low sound escaping his throat sounding suspiciously like a dry sob. He was trembling with emotion and Harry tried to press even closer, his heart melting.

Neither of them knew how long they remained like this, caressing each other almost absentmindedly and simply being close like this.

One of Harry's hands had slid into Tom's hair, threading his fingers through the soft strands. It was something he had always loved doing.

Maybe it should have felt different, but it didn't. The soft texture was the same, as was the way it yielded to his touch. Tom leaned into it, as he had always done, breathing softly against his neck, almost sighing in pleasure.

His face was warm now and his body had started to heat up. Harry could slowly feel the heat seeping through both of their clothes. Even the feeling of relief everytime he felt the heat in the other boy's body, was the same.

"So, I can ask you anything I want?", Harry's voice was only a whisper, the question random.

Tom's hands, that were gently caressing the smaller boy's back, didn't falter.

"Yes.", he answered softly, breath now warm against Harry's ear, "Just not everything at once."

Harry nodded silently and remained motionless for another long moment, before drawing back, bringing back some distance between them. It was still too soon for most of the intimate contact. He needed time to adjust to all of this again, to stop seeing the image of Tom standing beside Voldemort on that god-forsaken day when everything had fallen apart.

Forcing his thoughts back to the present, Harry looked at Tom carefully. He could feel the other boy's need for physical contact and knew that keeping away would be more than difficult.

Reaching out, Harry took the taller boy's hand back into his own and allowed their fingers to intertwine.

He was exhausted from the emotional roller coaster they had been on since they had woken up, but knew that they still needed to talk some more.

"So you will finally tell me everything about you? About your past and living in the diary?", Harry felt almost silly, but couldn't help the urge to reassure himself that Tom would really give this a shot, would finally participate in their…relationship.

"I will, just not tonight.", Tom said voice as gentle as the squeeze to his hand, "I need to tell you something else first."

"What is it?"

"You surely remember when you asked me about the veil and if I knew anything about the reason why Lucius Malfoy was killed, about the connection to your godfather. It was right before I wanted to tell you everything."

_-"You never asked, Harry."_

"_How many times have I asked you to tell me anything you know about the situation around Sirius and Lucius Malfoy? I practically begged you to help me find out more! …-…Will you fucking look at me?!"_

"_I'm sorry…-…You're right."_

"_What?"_

"_We do need to talk."-_

How could he ever forget?

"Yes, of course.", he answered, his heartbeat thudding in his chest.

"You were right to assume that I didn't tell you what I know.", Tom's tone in voice didn't change, but his gaze dropped to their joined hands as he caressed it gently.

"What are you saying?", Harry's voice trembled slightly and he felt is body tense.

Nevertheless he didn't withdraw his hand and just waited for Tom to answer him. The other boy's grip tightened slightly, probably afraid that he would do just that.

"I'm saying I know what's going on. And I will tell you everything I know.", the Slytherin went on, his gaze shifting back up.

Tom looked helpless and Harry couldn't bring himself to be angry again. It was all in the past now. Tom wanted to tell him the truth now, that was all that really mattered.

"You'll have to help me, Harry. I'm new to this kind of talking. You'll have to ask me a lot, to keep me grounded."

The Gryffindor knew that Tom was mostly telling him this in advance for their talks to come and Harry was careful to keep it in mind.

Some small vicious part of him demanded of him to make it as hard for Tom as possible, not try to help him in any way, but Harry silenced it and focused on the other boy again.

Taking a deep breath, he tried to organize his thoughts before speaking up.

"Let's start with the veil, okay? I told you that I talked to Luna about it and what she said. She told me that it isn't a portal, because it can be moved, is that true?"

Tom took a moment to think this over as Harry was used to and the familiarity of it made it easier for both of them. He understood now why it was easier this way. It had always been Harry asking and Tom answering, it was how they had gotten close in the first place.

"Basically yes. I don't really know much more about the veil than you do, but I do know it's much more complicated than that. Even in my time, dozens of wizards wanted to solve the mystery of it, but they either gave up or never returned."

"Never returned? Does that mean they went inside? Willingly?", Harry shuddered at the thought.

"Yes, but as I said, not one of them ever returned."

Harry was silent for a moment, careful to keep his mind focused and not become too overwhelmed.

"And the veil is important because Sirius is in it? But what does Lucius Malfoy have to do with that?"

Tom sighed and Harry could see the concentration on his face.

"This is harder than I thought. I obviously have to go back further in time. But first, let's get up from the floor.", Tom stood, not letting go of Harry's hand and tugging him with him in the process.

The Slytherin made a motion towards the bed and Harry hesitated. Tom looked at him, before silently changing directions and leading them over to the couch instead.

With a wave of his hand, Tom woke the embers in the fireplace back to life. They settled onto the couch, bodies apart but hands still connected.

"Voldemort didn't go through all the trouble of fixing the diary for nothing. He had a plan _before_ reviving me. Despite what you may think, all of this had nothing to do with me and everything to do with you. I told you before that he hated me, because I'm his past, and it's true. I'm not him, I don't even understand him half of the time. I have no idea what made him to the…thing he is now.", Tom paused.

He tightened his grip on Harry's hand and swallowed. His gaze shifted to the side for a moment, something Harry started to realize he always did when it became a bit too much.

Tom steeled himself and went on, looking back into Harry's eyes.

"So he found a way to repair the diary, I don't know how, he never told me. Well, from there everything went rather quickly. We made a deal and he passed the diary back to Lucius. As far as I know it was Draco Malfoy's final test to make sure you got it."

Harry felt his heart clench. Draco had never told him about that. With all the stuff going around them, he had all but forgotten about the fact that it had been Draco who had had the diary before it went to him again. It probably was easy to forgot, seeing as Harry had still no memory of the time when he had received it.

Tom frowned at Harry's reaction, reaching out to run his free hand through the tussled black hair of the smaller boy.

"He didn't tell you?"

Shaking his head, more tired than angry, Harry simply leaned into the touch and waited for Tom to continue.

"As you know, this was the first step in the plan. Or maybe it was the second. The first one being that he had placed a spy in Hogwarts. A person close to you."

"Shadow."

"Yes."

Harry opened his mouth to ask, but Tom beat him to it, indicating a slight shake of his head.

"Before you ask, I don't know who it is. All I know is that Shadow has picked a servant and that they are pretty strong together. They share some kind of bond, but that's all I know."

Harry frowned, looking bewildered. Everytime he thought that maybe he had figured Voldemort out, he found out something that surprised him.

"Why wouldn't he tell you?"

"Because it has nothing to do with my task. Voldemort only tells his followers what they need to fulfill his plans. No more, no less."

"But you're no Death Eater.", it was the perfect line between a statement and a question.

"No.", Tom said firmly, "But I have to bend to the same rules."

Harry tried not to think about the absurdity of it all and focused instead on the things at hand.

"You don't seem to be the person to bend to anything or anyone but yourself."

"I'm not. But sometimes you have to do things you don't like in order to get what you want. He had something I wanted.", he answered calmly.

"What's that?"

Tom looked at him as if he had lost his mind. It was the same look he had always felt before the Slytherin had told him to use his brain. It was so very much in character that Harry felt more reassured than annoyed.

"Freedom.", Tom said simply, "All I ever wanted was to get out of that fucking book and I didn't care how. I thought you already knew that. I told the truth the day you asked me about why it was different with us than me with Ginny."

Harry felt pathetically warmed by the fact that Tom saw them as an 'us', only seconds before he felt a slight shiver run down his spine.

"Was that the only truth? I-I know you didn't mean it when you said you loved me then, but what about everything else?"

_-"As long as you love me, I can exist outside your mind as well. It is only because you gave me your heart, that you can hear one beating in my chest."-_

Tom looked at him, both feeling the raw emotion between them. Tightening the grip he had on Harry's hand slightly, he lifted both of their hands and pressed Harry's smaller one palm first against his chest.

Harry could feel the beat of Tom's heart in sync with his. It was soothing and warm relieve flooded through him.

"I didn't lie about that.", Tom said softly, looking deeply into his eyes.

Like the first time, Harry felt his eyes burning and spilling over. Tom gently caught the salty wetness with his free hand and brushed it away.

Harry wished it were his lips instead, like the first time, but that probably would have been too much too soon.

They were silent for long moments after that, getting their feelings back under control.

Swallowing, Tom continued, keeping Harry's hand pressed to his heart, his fingers curled around his.

"Everything went as planned after that, I made you trust me, Malfoy was thrown into the picture-"

"You mean that was planned, too?", Harry's heart nearly stopped, the hand that wasn't pressed to Tom's chest clutching the fabric of his robe, "Voldemort knows about Draco being our spy?"

"Yes, of course. Malfoy was too easy, blindly following every bait Voldemort threw at him, turning him into a Death Eater and into your puppy. Just as planned."

"But why? Draco told me things I wasn't supposed to know!"

"But you were supposed to know them, Harry.", Tom said calmly, caressing him to take the edge from his words, "Just think for a moment. By sending Draco I could proof to you that I apparently didn't know anything more that I was telling you, I took over and arranged for him to actually be in your debt and forced him to accept the offer, knowing that by that you would feel a false sense of security, that you would be somewhat reassured that you had at least some excess to information from the Inner Circle. Malfoy, of course, was as clueless as you and Voldemort let the information he was supposed to pass on leak through. Things I already knew, of course."

Harry was silent, not really able to hold their gaze any longer. His hands clawed slightly into Tom's shirt, but he still didn't withdraw. He had to hear this, all of it and distancing himself from Tom wasn't an option.

Tom squeezed his hand softly in reassurance, the steady beat of his heart grounding him.

"After that, however, things more or minder went to hell. Lucius Malfoy was idiotic enough to be discovered a spy for Dumbledore", Harry's eyes widened at that, but he forced himself not to say anything, letting Tom go on without interrupting him, "and on top of that, he found out about the one thing that Voldemort wanted to hide from you most. And this is were Sirius Black comes into the picture."

Feeling his insides knotting together, Harry tried to remain calm. To keep breathing.

"But how? Sirius is-…Sirius is-is dead.", it was hoarse and raspy, forced passed the lump in his throat.

It was the first time he had really said it. Instead of making him feel light, it made breathing even harder. Saying it aloud made it only more real, something he had always refused. He had never wanted to acknowledge the fact that Sirius was dead, didn't allow himself to mourn for him because it just wasn't right. He couldn't be dead.

Tom took the hand that still lay over his heart in both of his and Harry simply knew that the Slytherin's next words would blow him away.

"No, Harry, he isn't."

It was the last thing that Harry had expected. He clutched Tom's hands so tightly, he was sure he was hurting him.

"What?!", it should have been a shout, a pained scream anything but the voiceless, strained whisper that actually escaped his lips.

Tom didn't flinch as the grip on his hands tightened even more. Squeezing back, he freed one of them to cup the back of the smaller boy's neck, drawing him close and making their foreheads rest together.

"Harry", it was soft, but there was an underlying firmness, meant to ground him.

Tom put the slighted pressure on his neck, moving their faces closer together. It was the first time that he could feel Tom's breath on his lips again. The other boy's long fingers caressed the sensitive skin of his nape gently as he gripped his hand firmly in contrast.

"Harry, listen to me.", the tone of voice hadn't changed.

Harry found it difficult to look Tom in the eyes, their faces now so close that their noses were nearly touching, so he gave in and closed them, trying to keep breathing and take in what the other boy tried to tell him.

"Listen to me.", he repeated, changing the angle of their heads, making their cheeks slide against each other and his lips press gently to his ear, "He's not dead."

Harry's whole body froze, his breath hitched and once more it felt as if the ground had been taken from under him and he was falling.

Just as Sirius had fallen…just fallen before he could have stopped it.

"No", Harry whimpered pathetically, clutching anything he could reach of Tom's body.

He could feel Tom's hands fall away and he felt a short surge of panic, but it was gone immediately when the taller boy wrapped him fully into his arms, holding tightly onto his trembling body.

"He was already standing in the arch of the veil when the spell hit him. That means it was simply swallowed by mist. It didn't hit him. He fell because of he force from the spell, not because it hit him, but because it hit the air in front of him.", Tom explained gently, his grip never loosening, "He's not dead, Harry."

Harry couldn't speak, couldn't think. Just as he thought that he had finally found out all there was, Tom was uncovering another secret.

He had no idea how long they sat together like this, with Tom holding him close, caressing him gently to calm him and help him grasp the meaning of his words.

Maybe he even dozed off for some time, or he simply zoned out, Harry wasn't sure other than there was a little blank spot in his brain of that time.

"I'm-I'm sorry, Harry.", Tom stumbled only slightly over the whispered words, "I shouldn't have pushed. It was too much."

Finally gaining some of his strength back, Harry drew back from the other boy's arms, rubbing over his face. There should be tears there, but Harry couldn't bring himself to cry over Sirius. Just like all the other times. He just couldn't.

"No.", he said firmly, "No, don't treat me like that. Like I'm some porcelain doll that would break under too much pressure. I can take it. I hate it when people try to make it easy for me. Since I found out about my actual heritage all anyone has ever done is to try and keep things from me to make it 'easier for me'."

The last three words were spat out mockingly. His anger unreasonable and sudden.

Jumping up from the couch, Harry started pacing to and fro while Tom watched him from the place where he was still seated. It was not the first time they had found themselves in this position.

"I want to know the rest.", Harry all but demanded, running a shaky hand through his hair, never stopping in his pacing, "I want to know why Voldemort cares about me knowing whether my godfather is dead or alive."

"I'm not talking to you like this.", Tom said calmly, his gaze never wavering.

"Why not?", he bit out harshly, "Who else understands his sick mind better than you?!"

They both froze at this and Harry suddenly felt all of his anger simply leave his body, replaced by the shock of what he had just said.

He could feel Tom's hurt through their link and saw it mirrored in his eyes before he looked away. For the first time since coming back to him, Harry felt him withdraw.

His legs felt far too heavy as Harry made his way back to the couch, kneeling down in front of the other boy.

Tom was still not looking at him, but didn't protest when Harry touched him, running his hands over his arms upwards to his face, noting that it was cool again and once more warming under his touch.

"I didn't mean that. You know I don't really think that.", Harry said softly, not remembering when he last regretted talking before thinking more than at this moment, "Tom? Please…"

Finally the Slytherin reacted, looking down into his eyes. They were more like Harry remembered them and it made his heart ache.

Reaching out, Harry gently caressed one of Tom's high cheekbones, maybe unconsciously hoping to wipe away the small barrier that had been erected once again, while the other hand closed around one of the other boy's.

To his greatest surprise, Tom allowed this touch as well, turning his hand under his and allowing their fingers to intertwine once again.

Leaning forward, Tom closed his eyes and rested his forehead against one of Harry's temples.

"I pushed too hard.", he aid softly, "It was too much at once."

"I had no right to lash out at you like that.", Harry said, sliding his free hand into Tom's hair and caressing him gently.

"You have every right."

Harry just shook his head.

"I'm still sor-"

"Harry", Tom interrupted him, moving to sit upright and look into the smaller boy's eyes, "If we want to do this, then I want some rules. No more saying sorry. I hate that. Sorry is for nothing, it doesn't change anything about a situation. So, no more apologies."

They looked at each other for some time and Harry thought about what the Slytherin had said. He did have a point, as always, but that didn't mean that he fully agreed with him.

"Okay.", Harry said finally, giving in, "No more apologies."

Tom nodded.

"Good and now let's go to bed."

Not waiting for Harry's answer, Tom detangled himself from the Gryffindor and got up. Looking at his retreating back, Harry sighed and cursed himself while getting up himself.

They didn't talk anymore. Tom was already lying on the bed when Harry emerged from the bathroom. He was still fully dressed and not covered with any blankets. Harry wanted to say something, but Tom simply waved out the lights when the smaller boy settled under the covers beside him.

Not even close enough to feel Tom's body heat, which probably wasn't even there at the moment, Harry shivered and huddled deeper into the sheets.

He listened to the other boy's breathing. He wanted to be closer to him, to lay his hand back onto his chest and feel his heartbeat, but the tension between them was still very much present.

Harry had no idea how long they were lying there silently side-by-side, neither of them actually asleep, but after what seemed like an eternity later, Harry just wasn't able to just keep quiet any longer.

Inching closer, Harry took care that their bodies weren't touching, but curled himself around Tom, resting his head so that he could breath in his scent and had his mouth was near the taller boy's ear.

"I know that you said that sorry means nothing to you and I won't say it, although I am, and just tell you that I know I can't take back what I said. But Tom, you should know by now that I can be pretty brainless when I'm angry. It's the Gryffindor in me, you know that. It was the one thing you wanted to change about me so bad."

Tom hadn't moved, but Harry knew he was listening. Taking a deep breath he continued.

"But I don't think I'll ever manage to completely turn that off. It's just part of me, you know? It can be pretty annoying and even hurtful at times, but if I am wrong, I'll always admit to it. You told me once that you would never be 'good', that you wouldn't change your ways for me and I accepted that. I just ask you to do the same for me. I know all of this is wearing you out, but it wears me out too. I'm also new at this. This whole talking about things is much harder, much more exhausting than I ever thought possible. We will both be strained and this also surely wasn't the last time we hurt each other, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. Because I do and I know you do too. Hurting each other happens and the more you care for someone, the deeper it goes."

The other boy still hadn't moved, but Harry was not wavered. He tentatively reached out and did what he had wanted to do since they had lain down. He put his palm flat on the place where he could feel Tom's heart beating steadily.

Moving his head closer, he carefully nuzzled Tom's ear, before simply resting there, so close he was sure Tom could feel every breath he took so intensely if it were his own.

"I know you aren't him and you'll never be.", he whispered, so softly that it would have been impossible to hear if he hadn't his lips nearly pressed to the Slytherin's ear.

Finally, Tom moved, but instead of turning away, he moved his head slightly so Harry could feel their breaths mingling together. He cooperated by lifting his head briefly for Tom to slide an arm under it just as his other hand was placed over the one lying on his chest.

"Not as long as I've got you to protect me."

Harry's breathing hitched and his lips formed an involuntary little smile, remembering the exact time when he had said these same words to Tom.

Spreading his fingers of the hand that rested on Tom's chest, he felt the other boy taking the invitation and slipping his own fingers in the spaces in between, moving his head enough to press a gentle kiss to Harry's forehead.

They melted together mentally and finally words were no longer needed and Harry knew that he was forgiven and finally enough at ease to let his exhausted body and mind slide into deep, much needed sleep with Tom's heartbeat soothing his troubled mind.


	27. Chapter 27

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hi guys! i'm proud of myself for the quick update ;), but of course that's only because of you fabolous reviews!!! pls keep them coming, i LOVE you all!

the plot is progressing nicely and i know things are complicated, so if you are confused (further than i intend you to be :D) then pls just ask me. i hope it is still exciting and i haven't lost my ability to keep you on your toes!

lots of love

enjoy!

p.s.: as the story moves along, you will learn more and more about Tom's past. i'm trying to stick to the facts we know, but of course add many things. everything that isn't mentioned in the booky, i have thought of myself. meaning this is the way that i believe things could have been for him. i hope i'm not disappointing or insulting anyone with it!

p.p.s.: **_Rokkis_**> you're right of course, the phrase doesn't exist in this form. sorry! i'm not Norwegian, i'm living in Vienna and am originally from Greece, but there is a similiar phrase in german, i just mixed it up a bit ;). thanks for the noticing!

* * *

"_Come on you can do better than that!"_

_Sirius._

_So much humour in his voice it made Harry cringe, twisted his stomach into a sick knot._

_He stood there, unable to move, to speak to do anything. He could just watch his godfather, glint in his eyes, smirk on his lips…_

_Harry knew what would happen, knew who the shadow in the corner of his eyes was, but still was unable to even breathe._

_Suddenly there was blinding green light and Harry didn't know if his eyes had closed or if he had been forced to keep them open._

_This light was so familiar,… too familiar…_

_There was blackness in front of his eyes, making him believe that the light had blinded him. He could here Bellatrix' laughter, but it overlapped with the high, cold sound of Voldemort's hysterical one._

_Someone was screaming at the top of his lungs, screaming Sirius' name and suddenly his vision was back, in time to see his godfather falling backwards into the veil as if in slow motion._

_An then everything moved too fast: Sirius vanished from sight and Harry could suddenly feel his muscles giving in and he got the control over his body back, but before he could move again arms grabbed him, restraining him._

"_There's nothing you can do, Harry-"_

"_Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!", his voice was hoarse, making him realise that it was him that had been screaming before._

"_-it's too late, Harry."_

"_We can still reach him-", Harry struggled hard and viciously, but Remus wouldn't let go._

"_There's nothing you can do, Harry…nothing…he's gone."_

_No, no, no, NO!_

"_Ahhh…did you love him, little baby Potter?" _

_Bellatrix Lestrange mocked him, sneered in his face and Harry wanted to kill her, wanted to kill her so bad..._

_/T/'H'_

It was probably his own hoarse, angered shout that woke him, or maybe it were Tom's hands and voice that tried to draw him back from the nightmare.

Whatever it was, Harry was grateful beyond believe of having been dragged from the darkness of his mind.

Panting, he sank against the taller boy, feeling Tom's strong arms holding him tightly as the Slytherin's hands caressed the nape of his neck soothingly.

His sweaty forehead slid wetly on the Slytherin's throat as he snuggled deeper into the warmth of the other boy, their legs shifting into a more comfortable position, ending up tangled together. The tie was absent from around his neck and the first three buttons of his shirt were undone. Harry shifted and buried his nose there, inhaling Tom's familiar scent and closing his eyes, willing his breathing to return back to normal.

He had the sudden urge to talk, to tell the other boy what was going on inside of him, although he knew that his emotions were seeping through their bond.

"I cast the Cruciatus on her.", Harry's voice was quiet, nearly muffled in Tom's shirt.

"On whom?", the caressing touches never faltered, the tone matching his own.

"Bellatrix Lestrange.", even while speaking softly, Harry spit the name out as if it were venom, "But it didn't work. She mocked me, said I have to mean it for it to work. But I did mean it. I never wanted to hurt someone as bad as I wanted to hurt her."

"That's not always enough to make it work, Harry.", Tom answered softly, "The Unforgivables are not something to be taken lightly. Not even by dark wizards. Even they have to respect them and not use them thoughtlessly."

Harry traced absentminded patterns on Tom's shirt covered chest, contemplating hoe the fabric was different from his own shirts.

"Do you think Voldemort respects them?", he asked quietly.

"Voldemort has overstepped every boundary known to wizardkind."

There was a moment of silence, where Harry thought about Tom's words. The conversation was soothing his raw nerves, taking his mind off the pain. And there were so many things he had always wanted to know.

"When did you use your first Unforgivable?"

Tom didn't answer directly, as it was in his nature. Instead he brushed slightly damp strands of black hair from Harry's forehead and traced the lighting bold with the tip of his index finger.

"I was thirteen and bored out of my mind. I had studied them closely since coming to Hogwarts.", Tom's voice remained quiet but now sounded very casual, "I cast the Imerpius on some student's pet. A toad if I remember correctly."

Harry shifted again, now fingering the collar of Tom's shirt, while contemplating his next question. His thoughts seemed to jump from the spiders in fake-Moody's class to Trevor and how Neville would feel about it if it had been him that Tom had attacked.

When a picture of the Gryffindor's deathly pale face appeared in front of him when fake-Moody had cast the Cruciatus, Harry quickly pushed the thoughts away and concentrated on Tom again, asking the next best question that popped up in his mind.

"What did you make it do?"

"I let it dance around for a bit, scared a few Mudbloods.", Tom shrugged slightly, threading his fingers through Harry's hair before letting his hand slide back to his neck and his fingers dipped slightly into the pyjama top's collar, "It was nothing."

"Please don't use that word around me.", Harry requested quietly.

Tom didn't protest, only nodded silently.

"So when did you use the other two?", Harry went on, after a short pause, "I know that Myrtle died from the Basilisk's eyes, not your hand, so who was the first one you killed? Have you even killed anyone except her?"

"Not long after I managed the Imperius, I tried the other two on some rats. I had no problems casting them, but it didn't give me any pleasure to torture and kill animals who hadn't done me any harm.", Tom said quietly, his left hand coming to rest with his palm flat against his back, while the other one stilled with his fingers weaved into his hair.

His voice had become unreadable, a clear sign that the conversation was digging deeper than he actually liked.

"What about Myrtle? Did you know her?", Harry pressed on, not about to be wavered.

"No.", Tom said simply, "All I know is that she was a third year and a Mud- and Muggleborn."

"Tell me about the night she was killed.", the request was quiet and delivered as unthreatening as possible, while Harry slid one of his arms around Tom's slim waist.

Nevertheless he could feel Tom stiffen slightly beside him, the hold he had on his smaller body loosening slightly.

"You already know everything about it."

Harry caressed him soothingly, shifting even closer and pressing a gentle kiss to Tom's neck, feeling the tense muscles there. He willed his voice to become even softer.

"I want to hear it from you."

There was the usual pause before Tom began to speak again, quietly. The palm that had rested on his back, now sliding a bit lower.

"I had opened the Chamber mid first term. I found the Basilisk and gave her my orders-"

"It was female?", Harry asked surprised.

He had never thought about that before, although he should probably have noticed it by the sound of it's - no _her_- voice.

"Yes. Her name was Iskila. She was still pretty young when I opened the Chamber, unknowing and inexperienced."

"Did you like her?", the question surprised even himself.

Harry had never thought about that, either. He had simply killed her, hating her without actually knowing her. Pretty unfair, actually, when he looked back now. She had simply followed orders and instincts.

God, he sounded like Hagrid…

"In some way, I did.", Tom said slowly, drawing Harry's attention back to him and away from his half-giant friend, "I didn't have anyone and I've always liked snakes. They have brains and a vicious nature."

Harry drew back slightly, looking into Tom's eyes as he raised a hand to gently stroke his knuckles over the side of his face to his jaw, his thumb caressing over his chin softly.

"Just like you.", he said, smiling slightly.

Tom's own lips quirked as he caught Harry's hand in his, holding it and intertwining their fingers at the same time as he pressed his cheek into his palm, turning his head briefly to kiss the centre before looking back at him again.

"Just like me.", he confirmed quietly.

Harry enjoyed the silence and closeness for a moment, hating to break it. But in the end, his curiosity won.

"So, Myrtle?", he reminded him gently.

Tom sighed, but went on without protest, this time much more relaxed.

"Iskila and I were coming out of the Chamber, when I heard some girl's hysterical sobbing out of one of the cubicles. I knew then why I never had liked them I the first place.", Tom's lips where slightly twisted in disgust.

If the situation hadn't been this serious, Harry would probably have found it pretty amusing.

"Iskila sensed her to be…Muggleborn and the girl had already discovered us, so I had no objections when she told me she wanted to kill her."

Harry waited for Tom to go on, but he didn't.

"And then?"

"Then nothing. The girl unlocked the door herself and stepped out coming face to face with Iskila and that was that.", Tom's eyes told him that he was becoming tired of the conversation.

Harry frowned, not willing to accept that as the end of their talk.

"That's all?", he asked incredulously.

"For Salazar's sake, Harry, what do you want me to say?", Tom exclaimed exasperatedly, a slight undertone of annoyance in his voice, "That I felt sorry for her when I saw her hit the ground? That I regretted not holding Iskila back from killing her? Well, I didn't feel any of these things. Actually I couldn't care less. She was in my way, so she had to go."

It was Harry's turn to be silent, looking away from Tom's eyes to study the collar of his shirt once more.

He tried not to imagine Myrtle as human and lying on the cold floor of the bathroom, all alone, her eyes wide open and scared, her cheeks still damp from her tears.

"What did you do after that?", he asked quickly, looking into Tom's eyes again to force the unwilled images from his mind.

This time it was Tom who looked away.

"I headed for the library to get a book."

Harry knew immediately that this wasn't all, but decided that maybe it was enough for now. They were both still tired and Harry had a lot on his mind.

He quietly tugged on Tom's arm, wrapping it tighter around himself as he pressed their bodies together. The other boy complied, tightening his embrace again and shifting his legs so that they could move even closer together.

Harry pressed another small, sleepy kiss to the patch of skin visible right in front of his face, before burying his face there again and closing his eyes.

_/T/'H'_

When Harry woke up again, he found Tom watching him.

They were nestled together, this time both of them under the sheets, and Harry felt warm and comfortable. The drapes by the windows were closed, leaving him of no notion of the actual time.

The fire in the fireplace had burned down, but Harry couldn't feel anything beside Tom's body heat.

Upon seeing that he was awake, Tom leaned over to kiss his forehead, his hand warm as he caressed Harry's face.

Sighing he shifted closer to the taller boy, both physically and mentally, letting his mind slowly awaken with the rest of him.

"What time is it?", Harry finally asked drowsily.

Tom pressed another soft kiss to his face, cradling the smaller boy against his body.

"Late afternoon.", he answered quietly, "Half past four."

Harry enjoyed Tom's gentle caresses. They had fallen silent again and he basked in the Slytherin's attentions. It was as if the other boy couldn't stop touching him. And he never wanted him to.

A knock on the door startled them both and Harry opened his eyes, which he hadn't even realized he had closed again. He was ready to ignore it, when it sounded again, a bit more insistently.

He shifted to sit up, but Tom held him back by tightening his arms around him.

"Don't go."

Harry's heart melted and he reached out to run a gentle hand through the other boy's hair.

"Maybe it's important.", he protested softly.

Tom drew him closer, his warm breath wafting through Harry's fringe. It was just now that he realized how long his hair had actually become, hanging into his eyes and brushing over the nape of his neck.

"It's not.", Tom said, "It's Malfoy."

Harry sighed again, this time in exasperation.

"He's probably worried. I have to let him know I'm alright. He helped me a lot these past weeks."

"I know exactly how he helped you.", Tom said darkly and Harry could feel a shiver run down his spine at the mix of jealousy and anger that coursing through the other boy's body.

Looking up, he found Tom's eyes dark and slightly narrowed, his gaze directed unseeingly at the door.

"Tom?"

"What?", his voice was sharper than Harry had expected and he flinched slightly, "Did you think I didn't know about your little tryst with him?"

Harry recoiled even more and this time Tom let him stand up without protest, sitting up himself. He shivered, now finally realizing how cold his room had become. This was not the right moment for this conversation. Not the right moment at all.

"Look, let's talk about this later, alright?", he said quietly, "I'll just let him in to talk to him for a moment and then we can discuss this."

Tom's eyes darkened and narrowed even more, making him look every bit like an angry snake.

"Oh, don't let me stop you.", he hissed, "I'll just make myself disappear, so you can have the bed to yourselves. Do you want me to change the sheets before I go?"

The sarcasm was so sharp it cut Harry to the core. His own anger surfaced and he knew that they had hit each other's boundaries again.

"You have no fucking right to judge me for what happened with Draco!", Harry snapped, "As I recalled the time when I was with him in bed, you had just betrayed me and sold me out to Voldemort! At least he was always loyal to me! And he loves me, something you don't seem to be able to manage!"

As always when fighting with Tom, Harry regretted the words as soon as they had left his mouth, but as always, it was already too late.

Tom looked away and Harry could feel the deep pain he had caused only briefly, before the Slytherin withdrew and vanished.

"Fuck!", Harry cursed, running a hand through his tousled hair and nearly ripping strands of it from his head with his forcefulness.

Grabbing his new, silver rimmed glassed from the bedside table, Harry went to answer the door.

Draco was leaning against the wall, his posture casual, but his eyes told him another story.

Harry realized that he must have heard Tom and him talking inside. He cursed again inwardly. Why did things always have to go to hell as soon as they were good?

"Can I come in?", Draco drawled, "Or did I come at a bad time?"

Harry realized that he had simply stood there and looked, not giving the entrance free.

"No, no, of course you can come in.", he said hastily, stepping back inside and giving Draco room to come inside.

Only now did he realize that the blonde carried something that was covered with a small white cloth.

"What's that?", Harry asked, looking at the covered thing suspiciously.

Draco didn't answer at once, taking his time to place the item on the couch table before straightening and looking around the room searchingly.

"It's food.", he said finally, turning to look at him.

"Oh.", Harry said intelligently, "Thanks."

Draco waved that off with a graceful gesture of his hand and pinned Harry with one of his intense silver stares.

"Can we cut the bullshit now and fast forward to the actual question?"

Harry sighed and looked away. He knew that Draco was not one for many words, or someone to buy avoidance-speeches.

"Yes, he's back, yes it's because I called him, yes I believe whatever he's told me and no my feelings haven't changed."

Something flashed in Draco's eyes, before they became a wall of ice.

"Have you completely lost your mind, Harry?", it was calm, but Harry could hear the slight tremor in his voice.

Not really knowing what to say, the Gryffindor went over to where Draco had placed the platter with food and uncovered it to inspect it.

He wasn't hungry, just looked for something he could do, so he picked up a small piece of cheese and tugged on some bred, chewing them carefully.

"Will you actually answer me, or do you want me to go so that he can return and jump back in bed with you?"

Harry swallowed and stood up abruptly, glaring fiercely at his friend.

"Would you cut it out? I know that you don't like it, but the truth is, I don't care, alright?", he bit out, "Either you deal with it and we stay friends, or you continue giving me shit and I won't speak to you again!"

Draco looked stung, but covered it quickly.

"Fuck, Harry.", he said quietly, rubbing over his face briefly, "I thought we were passed all this."

Harry ran a hand through his hair once more and raised tired eyes to look at the blonde. As so many times before, he wasn't proud of his outburst.

"Well, we aren't.", he said, sounding firmer than he would have thought, "And I will always choose him, Draco, do you understand? Always."

Now it was Draco who looked away, turning his back to him. Harry felt even worse now. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Draco further.

He slowly walked over to the other boy, doing the only thing he could think of and wrapped gentle arms around him from behind.

It was not the same way he hugged Tom, it was much softer, his hands not sliding fully around the blonde, but resting on his sides. Instead of burying his face in the nape of his neck, he rested his chin on Draco's shoulder.

"I know you don't understand my feelings for Tom, but I ask you to please accept them. Accept _me_.", Harry said quietly, "We've come far from where we've been, Draco, and lately you've become my best friend. You know everything that's currently going on in my life, you take me as I am and you understand me better than Ron ever could. That doesn't mean that I love him any less, but it means that I don't love him the way I love you, because our relationship is entirely different from the one I share with you."

Harry paused, taking a deep breath and tightening his grip on Draco trying to somehow make it easier for the blonde to hear what he had to tell him, because he _had_ to hear it.

"But you know that I don't love you like I love Tom. You could never fully understand the way I love him and I don't know if I can explain it to you or if explaining it would make it any easier for you.", Harry tightened his grip even more when he felt Draco trembling, "I don't want to lose you, but what I want even more than that is not to hurt you. So if it is too much for you, just tell me and I won't push, okay? Just please keep Tom out of our relationship so I can keep you out of the one I have with him."

There was no reaction at first, but after some time he felt Draco nod. Relieved, Harry closed his eyes and held on to him for another few moments, before letting go.

He turned away, giving the other boy time to get himself back under control. He felt shaken and emotional.

"I have to go now, I told Blaise I would meet him back in the common room.", Draco's voice sounded normal, always the perfect actor.

Harry nodded, looking at his friend carefully.

"Thank you for the food.", he said, "How about we get together tomorrow afternoon for doing homework? As you probably know I skipped today, but I'll be in class tomorrow."

"I'll meet you here after our last class.", Draco said, walking over to the door.

"Okay.", he agreed quietly, watching the door close.

Harry sighed, rubbing over his scar absentmindedly before once again combing a hand through his hair. If things continued like this, he probably wouldn't have anymore left in the near future.

Turning back towards the couch, Harry nearly jumped from his skin when he saw Tom standing a few feet away.

They gazed at each other for a moment with neither of them saying anything. Harry studied the taller boy carefully, but Tom looked composed and unreadable.

"Tom,…-"

"Harry, please", he sounded calm, stepping towards him and coming to a halt directly in front of him, "Can we not do this? I already know that you didn't mean it and you know that I was only hurtful because I'm jealous."

Harry looked at him silently, before nodding and simply stepping forward into the taller boy's arms. Relief flooded him when his arms closed around him and their connection opened all the way again.

"You know I would tell you if I could.", Tom said quietly, his voice and hands so soft that it made Harry's heart ache, "And only because I don't say it, doesn't mean I'm not feeling it."

Tightening his arms around him, Harry sighed, kissing the other boy's neck gently.

"I already know you love me, Tom.", he said quietly, "At least in every way that you can."

"Good.", was all he said, holding him another moment before letting go, "And now you will eat."

Harry knew that it had been a bit too much for him, so he didn't protest and obediently went over to the platter with the food. Looking down at it, Harry wasn't sure if he could even touch it anymore.

He had eaten the little piece of bread and cheese and his desire to eat, that hadn't even been there in the first place, refused to surface.

"You know", Harry stalled, not looking at the other boy, "I'm really not hungry and we have a lot to talk about…"

Tom was suddenly beside him, gently forcing him to sit down on the couch in front of the platter. He followed suit and took Harry's hand in his, while the other turned the smaller boy's head so he could look into his eyes.

"I know that you haven't been eating, but this has to stop. I will not watch you loose any more weight. I am already afraid that I will break you when I hold you.", Tom said quietly, but seriously, "I'm not one of your friends. You can't fool me. No more tricks, no more starving. When I tell you to eat, you eat. Whatever, whenever, wherever. I will not watch this any longer, do you understand?"

Harry turned his head and shook off Tom's hold on it, looking away. He wasn't about to give in to a command like this. He was beyond that. He would not listen to anyone but himself. And he felt sick by only thinking of food.

Suddenly, Tom's other hand was gone as well and he leaned in much closer, resting his forehead against Harry's temple. His hands found a way under the shirt he had been wearing to bed and for the first time since returning, Tom's hands met his bare skin.

Harry shuddered, the hands warming immediately and nearly searing his flesh. Reflexively his own hands reached for Tom's, coming to rest on them outside the fabric, closing around them and holding them in place. He didn't want them to ever leave his body again, wanted to be touched all over.

His breathing quickened slightly and he could feel Tom's own against the side of his face, his lips close to his ear. The taller boy gripped him a bit tighter, tugged him closer, his mouth now only millimetres from his ear.

"Please, Harry…you were always a bit too thin, but now…", his breath was so hot, his voice low and pained, "I can feel every bone in your body."

As if to emphasize this, Tom ran his thumb over Harry's ribs, dipping it into the prominent spaces in-between. The smaller boy shuddered, pressing firmly onto Tom's hand to keep it in place, to encourage him to touch him some more.

"If you won't do it for yourself, do it for me.", the sentence was punctuated with a gentle kiss to the spot just under his ear and Harry's breathing hitched.

His hands slid from Tom's up over his arms to bury themselves in his hair, grasping it almost too firmly as he tugged the taller boy closer, titling his head back to give him more excess.

Tom didn't comment on the roughness, sliding his hands around Harry's thin frame and drawing him closer by pushing his palms flat onto his back. He treated Harry's vertebrae the same way as his ribs, while he shifted his head to the other side and pressed his lips to his throat.

Harry was sure that Tom could feel his erratic pulse under his lips and his quickened heartbeat against his chest. Wanting to know, Harry pressed himself even closer and moaned quietly, both at the tongue that had licked his neck and the feeling of Tom's heart beating as quickly as his own.

They fell back onto the couch, Tom's lips still glued to his skin and Harry's hands gripping and tugging at his hair to get him even closer.

Tom showered him with kisses, attacking every inch of skin before him, lingering on Harry's forehead and the bridge of his nose. When he felt Tom's lips at the corner of his mouth, he parted them involuntarily, but knew that they had to stop. It was too soon…but he wanted it so much.

Feeling Tom's tongue flicker out to lick him there, Harry turned his head, ready to make their lips meet and invite it into his mouth, but Tom drew back, pressing their foreheads together. The breathed each other's air as they panted hotly against one another's mouths.

Tom's weight was pinning him in place, making the feel of his hands on his back even more intense. Harry was still gripping his hair, afraid he would just disappear.

"We have to stop.", Tom breathed, just as his lips came down on the bridge of his nose once more, before sliding over to his ear and kissing that too, "Tell me to stop."

"I c-can't.", Harry gasped, just as he shifted under Tom's weight, letting his legs fall open to nestle him more comfortably against him, "I just can't."

The taller boy's hips shifted as his lips returned to Harry's pulse point, this time to suck the skin into his hot mouth as he found the right angle to press into him.

Harry moaned and shuddered, arching into the body above him to ease some of the tension.

"Promise me you will eat.", Tom panted against his ear, as the grip on his back tightened.

"Tom…", Harry just groaned, pressing closer still and clawing the soft, thick strands in his fingers.

He had trouble even understanding one word the Slytherin was saying, his brain too foggy with desire as he writhed under the delicious weight of the taller boy.

"Promise me.", Tom demanded breathily, punctuating it with an insistent push of his hips.

"Yes", Harry moaned, not sure if it was in agreement of the demand, or simply because of the pleasure running hotly through his veins.

Probably because of the latter.

Wetting his dry lips with his tongue, Harry tried to get Tom's face close to his own. He couldn't remember when he had last wanted something as much as he wanted Tom's lips as this moment. Wanted their mouths to mesh together, their tongues to meet and their overflowing emotions to melt together as they loosed themselves in it.

Tom complied, his breath hot against his moistened lips and Harry parted them once again, a gasp letting more of their hot breath mingle.

Tom turned his head suddenly, burying it back in his neck and bit his shoulder, forcing another gasp from his throat as he arched into him.

Far too quick for Harry's hazy mind to follow, Tom was sitting, gently grasping his hands to detangle them from his hair and brought enough distance between them so that they weren't touching.

Harry lay there panting, feeling as if he would cry from the loss and trying desperately to get his brain back to function. Suddenly it came back. They couldn't do this, it was too soon.

Groaning, Harry covered his burning face with his hands, trying to catch his breath.

"Harry…just…just eat something, alright?", Tom sounded breathless too, and Harry could feel that the other boy's emotions were as much all over the place as his own, "I'll be back in a bit."

Without looking, Harry knew that the other boy had vanished. It was something he didn't like, but had to be done. They couldn't be in each other's presence at the moment without doing something rash, as much as Harry would have like that.

He didn't know how long he lay there, trying to get himself back under control. As he let his hands fall away and stared at the ceiling, a sudden realization hit him.

_The bastard tricked me!_

Instead of being angry, Harry choked out a laugh. Something he didn't remember when he had done last. He couldn't believe that boy! There was no one on this damn planet that could manipulate as thoroughly and _brilliantly_ as Tom Riddle, that's for sure.

'_When exactly did the thought occur to you to seduce me into promising what you wanted?'_, Harry was still too amused to be angry.

He knew Tom and there where just things that couldn't be changed. When Harry had said that he accepted him, he had meant it.

_/When I touched you, I didn't mean to-/_

'_I know.'_, Harry reassured him,_ 'But that didn't mean that when you where too far in it, you didn't immediately grasp the chance.'_

This was followed by the customary silence and Harry waited to hear his answer, letting his breathing deepen out.

_/Well… I didn't plan this…and after it got out of hand…I didn't lie when I said you had to tell me to stop, because at that moment I couldn't even think clearly. But then… it helped me to ground myself. Making plans and following them always grounds me./_

'_Like answering direct questions.'_

_/Yes./_

They were silent for some time and Harry had managed to get his breathing back under control and willed his body to cool.

'_I really wanted you.'_, he said quietly, randomly.

_/I really wanted you, too./_, Tom whispered,_ /I wanted to kiss you so bad./_

'_Me, too…'_, Harry sighed, closing his eyes.

_/T/'H'_

"What do you know about your family?"

Harry looked up from where he had studied the carpet beside the couch and looked at Tom in surprise.

After he had eaten as much as he could force himself to swallow, Tom had returned and they sat once again side by side, not touching except for their joined hands, as it seemed to become usual.

They both chose not to talk about the previous incident anymore, having said all there was to say and concentrating on the more obvious problem.

"The Dursleys?", he questioned incredulously

"No, I meant your magical family.", Tom said, giving him a slightly amused look.

"Oh", Harry frowned, "I don't know anything about them. But what has that got to do with anything?"

"It's got to do with everything.", Tom said, shifting slightly to lean more comfortably against the back of the couch, entirely serious again, "Because this whole story starts with your family history."

"What do you know about my family history?", Harry frowned.

"Enough. I know what Voldemort told me."

Harry's frown deepened. He was clearly missing something here.

"Why would Voldemort be interested in my family? I thought I was the only threat? And my whole family is dead."

Tom shifted once again, looking at him intently and tightening the hold on his hand slightly.

"Just listen to me for a moment.", he said softly, "The Potters are a very old bloodline. There are a lot of rumours around them, some even claim that there is some distant relation to Godric Gryffindor, but that was never confirmed."

"No one ever told me about that.", Harry said hoarsely.

He couldn't believe that there were even more things about himself that Dumbledore hadn't told him.

"They probably just wanted to _protect _you.", Tom snorted, voice heavy with sarcasm, "Fact is, that the Potters pass a gift by their blood. It holds much power and the process is rather complicated. When a new child is born to the family, it carries the power inside, but has no means to unlock it. If the parents would so choose, this kind of gift could never be awakened and the child would simply pass it on to his own offspring."

Tom paused briefly, squeezing his hand and watching his reaction carefully. Harry had no idea how to react. It all sounded as if it was something that didn't concern him. Almost like a random lesson in history.

"And this is where things get complicated. As I told you the power cannot be activated by a person carrying it already, so there has to be a third party involved. Someone preferably from outside the family. This person, I believe, is called the key. That means that the parent with the Potter-blood gives someone else the power to unlock his or her child's power-source."

"What are you telling me?", Harry asked slowly, not sure if he really understood what he was hearing.

"I'm telling you that you are the last of your line and carry this power inside your blood, which hasn't been unlocked. Yet.", Tom explained patiently, "Remember the prophecy: …_and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have a power the Dark Lord knows not…_"

"I thought that was-…", Harry trailed off, searching for words that seemed to slip his grasp as soon as he had a hold on them, "Dumbledore said it was my heart that saved me. I thought the prophecy meant love…"

"He didn't tell you the whole truth.", it was said quietly, as if it would hurt him less that way.

Harry looked away and his free hand played with the cuff of Tom's shirt absentmindedly. He was still trying to soak up all that information that had been spilled at once into his already too full brain.

"You said the third party should be someone from outside the family. Why someone from outside? Why not the other parent, who doesn't carry the same blood as well?"

Tom regarded him carefully and Harry could feel him inching closer mentally. He didn't protest when their minds touched, allowing to be enfolded protectively, feeling that Tom didn't know how to handle the situation completely.

"Because, if I remember correctly, the key has to be someone not romantically involved with the parent. It must be a firm bond of friendship, of platonic love."

Harry nodded, raising his head to meet the other boy's eyes again.

"And Voldemort doesn't want me to know that Sirius is alive, because he knows all these things.", it wasn't exactly a question, but sounded too unsure to be a statement.

"Yes and also because he is the key your father chose for you. The key to your powers."

Harry wasn't sure if he had actually managed to understand the words he had heard.

"But he isn't even here to do that!", it came out choked with his breath hitching, "Even if I wanted him to, he is trapped in the veil!"

Tom looked at him intensely, his green eyes boring into his own. There was no doubt in the determination he displayed when he spoke again.

"That's why we will bring him back."

* * *

the dialouge used in the dream at the beginning of the chapter are directly taken from OotP, so i have no claim on them! 


	28. Chapter 28

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hey guys, i hope you are all well! i LOVED your reviews, as always, pls keep going. if some of you would prefer a more personal way for me to answer you, pls tell me. i don't want you to feel neglected in any way!

this chapter is just a filler. i promise there will be more action in the next. the Sirius affair will take a lot of time, you won't have to wait too long for that ;).

pls tell me what you think, i live from your reviews!

enjoy!

p.s.: i'm sorry again for my mistakes, i hope i'm doing better as time progresses. most of them are just typos that i don't see when i read through, but when i re-read it a week later or so... i don't have a betta and figure that it would take longer if i took one, so i'll just keep it quick and with a few mistakes...i don't have much time as it is...

* * *

Draco just looked at him for a moment. 

"And you believe him, of course.", the Slytherin snorted, rolling his eyes.

Harry glared at him, his eyes narrowing slightly as annoyance seemed to brew together inside of him upon sensing the much too over exhausted topic of conversation.

"Draco.", he warned.

The blonde raised his hands in an off-warding gesture and pressed his lips together, indicating that he wouldn't say anything more.

"I didn't tell you so you could make your usual snarking comments about Tom, I told you to hear what you think our next move should be.", Harry continued.

The other boy's silver eyes turned to look out over the landscape of Scotland and Harry followed his gaze almost involuntarily, letting his own wander across the frozen lake and the thick snow that covered everything since last night.

Drawing his thick robes even tighter around himself, Harry shivered slightly as the coldness that seeped through the big window seemed to crawl under his skin. They were much too close to the Owlery for the corridors to hold the warmth and Harry wished they had met in his room instead.

The temperature had dropped again, so much that he feared his blood would freeze if he dared to step outside.

Finally Draco seemed to come back from wherever he had gone and turned his head back to look at him.

The movement caught Harry's attention and he shifted where he was leaning against the cold window frame, facing the blonde once more.

"If you ask me, Harry, it's almost impossible fore only the three of us to get anything done. I think we need help from a more experienced person.", Draco spoke at last.

"But Tom-"

"-was locked in a diary for the past fifty-three years.", he interjected sharply.

Harry fell silent, not sure if he should be irritated or not, turning his gaze back outside the window and watching a small group of owls approaching the tower where they would find shelter from the snow at least.

"Harry", Draco began again, his voice softer.

He reached for him as if to touch, but let his hand fall back before it actually made contact and raised it to his own face to rub over one of his temples instead, sighing.

"Look, I just think it would be better to have someone who knows what's been going on these past years. Someone who knows Black and even your father personally. A strong wizard with a sharp mind, who can grant us the access to all of the books we need.", the blonde continued quietly.

Looking back at the taller boy, Harry raised an eyebrow.

"And who do you suggest that would be?", he asked bewildered.

Upon seeing Draco's intense look, Harry suddenly knew. His eyes widened and he unconsciously grabbed the cold wall beside the window.

"Are you out of your _mind_?", he gasped in utter shock, "The first thing he would do if we told him, would be to run to Dumbledore and tell him _everything_!"

Draco's eyes darkened slightly as he folded his arms, almost defensively.

"That's not true.", he said softly, but firmly, maybe even a bit hurt, "I thought you trusted me enough by now that you'd know that I wouldn't do anything that could harm you in any way."

"Like that tree you wanted to bury me under?", Harry said dryly, "Or maybe the fact that you never told me why the hell you threw that diary at me at the start of the term?"

All colour seemed to drain from Draco's already pale face, making him look like a ghost. Harry bit his tongue, hard. He once again had proven what an utter thoughtless idiot he was.

"You fucking asshole!", he hissed, eyes overly bright, his arms now at his side and his hands clenched to fists, "All I wanted was to protect you and you fucking know it!"

Before he could say anything more stupid, Harry opted for reaching up and covering the trembling shoulders of the Slytherin with his hands.

"I'm sorry, Draco.", he whispered, afraid that if he spoke too loudly he would set his friend off even more.

The blonde took a deep breath and let his forehead drop to rest on Harry's left shoulder, his hands unclenching and instead coming up to gently cover the smaller boy's wrists.

"You know I would never hurt you."

It was just a breath against the fabric of his robes and Harry tightened his grip on his friend, leaning his head against the side of the blonde's face.

"I know.", he reassured him quietly.

They didn't say anything and neither of them moved for a few moments. Draco was the first to draw back, obviously having brought himself back under control.

Harry looked up at him, his hands remained where they were.

"I trust you, Draco, you know I do", he said intently, holding the other boy's silver gaze, "If you say that we can trust him, we will. So if you really think we need him in this, tell him everything he needs to know and let me know when we should all have a meeting together."

Draco tightened his grip slightly, before letting go altogether, an unreadable look on his face, but his eyes looking a bit brighter than usual again.

"Thank you."

_/T/'H'_

"-…So we thought about tomorrow."

Hermione had been talking for some time now, but Harry's thoughts were someplace entirely else. He had no idea what his best friend was actually saying.

He had been watching the snowflakes fall from the enchanted ceiling, thinking about what Draco had said and about how Tom would react to the news of letting Draco decide something as big as this.

Glancing sideways at Ron, he was surprised to see him actually listening for once and nodding in agreement, to whatever the bushy haired girl had said.

Both pairs of eyes suddenly turned to look at him expectantly. Harry was finally drawn out of his thoughts by this and blinked.

"Harry? Where you even listening to a word I've been saying?"

Confused, Harry tucked his hands under the long sleeves of his robe and indicated a slight shake of his head, trying to look apologetic.

"I'm sorry, Hermione, I spaced out for a moment."

Hermione sighed, looking faintly annoyed.

"I was talking to you about shopping for Christmas and also that I wanted to get me something to wear for the Christmas ball."

"Christmas ball?"

"Yes, Harry", Hermione masked her annoyance in patience, "On the 27th."

"Where have you been, mate?", Ron asked, aghast, "It's been all over the school for the last days!"

"I was busy, I guess…", Harry said unconvincingly, and after catching Hermione's dark look quickly added, "With schoolwork!"

Her look turned immediately pleased and he sighed inwardly in relief. If it hadn't been for all the blinking lights and the trees that were currently being spread all over Hogwarts, Harry would have completely forgotten about Christmas altogether.

"So, what about Christmas shopping?", Hermione pressed on, "We could go right after breakfast."

Ron shrugged.

"Yeah, why not.", he said while shoving another fork full of scrambled eggs into his mouth, "I really need shome new dresh robsh."

Hermione scrunched up her face and looked away.

"God, Ron, that's disgusting.", she complained, "Can't you at least swallow before you speak."

Taking that as his cue, Harry drowned them out and focused his mind on a much more pressing matter: Christmas presents.

He had not only forgotten about Christmas, but about presents too. He was glad that his best friends seemed to have been busy as well, so he could go with them and shop last minute. Harry didn't even have the slightest idea as what to get.

After breakfast they made their way through the Entrance Hall and parted ways to retrieve their coats, before meeting again and finally stepping outside.

Despite the frosty weather of the last weeks, today the air was biting and wind blew stinging flakes like slaps onto their faces.

They all shivered, before drawing their wands and casting warming spells, Ron complaining about the icy cold as he limped alongside them down the snowy road to Hogsmead.

It took longer for the three of them than usual, the weather not improving in the slightest. By the time they reached the town, they were soaking wet and freezing despite the warming spells.

Hogsmead looked surprisingly good. As good as it was possible under the tons of snow, that it. The Ministry and the Order had been quick and efficient in re-building the station and the houses that had been affected with the battle.

It almost looked as if nothing had ever been out of order.

When parting ways, they agreed to meet back at the Three Broomsticks in two hours. Harry hurried into the next best shop to get out of the awful weather and cast a quick drying spell while stepping inside.

Looking around, he almost groaned aloud. A boutique. Great.

Turning to leave again, he was stopped by a voice calling out to him with an obvious American accent.

"Are you looking for something, honey?"

Startled, Harry whirled back around and came face to face with a tall, but still quite young man.

Shifting nervously from one foot to another, Harry fought the urge to blush.

"Actually…I think I made a mistake…", he said nervously, trailing off.

"Now, why would you think that?", the young man chided gently, "You haven't even told me what you were looking for in the first place. Or for whom? Maybe I can help."

Harry looked him up and down, taking in the perfect way his hair was styled as well as the expensive clothes, manicured nails and, not to be missed, his utter gayness. And he didn't mean colourful.

What could it hurt to ask? He seemed nice enough and when he thought about it, he really had no idea what to get Tom. At least the young man wouldn't look down on him if he mentioned the other boy.

Taking a deep breath, Harry willed himself to calm down and looked up into the smiling face.

"Well, actually, I do need some help.", he said.

The other wizard's smile widened, making him look even nicer.

"Fabulous!", he said cheerfully, "Then why don't you come inside properly and tell me something about the person you are looking something for. I'm Evan, by the way."

"Harry.", Harry said, taking the proffered hand and shaking it, smiling back.

If Evan recognized him, he didn't comment and he couldn't be more grateful. The last thing he needed in a situation like this was someone making a big deal out of this.

With a shudder he thought about Rita Skeeter and her godawful quill. He hoped she would get stuck in her bug-form and never come back to bother any more innocent people.

"So?", Evan urged him on gently.

"Yeah, well, I'm looking for something to get my…my boyfriend.", the last part was almost mumbled.

Evan smiled sympathetically at him.

"Is this your first time doing this?", he asked pleasantly.

"Y-Yes.", despite fighting it, Harry felt his face heating in a blush.

The taller wizard patted his arm soothingly, leading him deeper into the well-lit shop.

"No worries, luv, there's nothing to be embarrassed about.", Evan said happily, "Why don't you tell me something more about him, so we can pick the right thing."

"Well, he's…taller…", Harry said uncertainly and when he caught Evan's encouraging look, he forced himself to say something more, "He has the same eye and hair colour as me, but he's…uh…"

"Better looking?", the other wizards inquired, grinning, "Great that you think that way, at least that ensures me that you're not a narcissist. But when I look at what a hottie you are, it's kinda hard to imagine."

Blushing furiously, Harry turned away to finger some of the expensive robes to his right, not really seeing what he was looking at.

"Thanks, I guess.", he mumbled, glad that Tom was asleep.

"You're very welcome.", Evan cooed, "Okay, now back to business. So what does…what's his name?"

Harry hesitated only a moment. It couldn't hurt, really. Evan didn't know any of them and Tom was a very common name.

"Tom.", he said finally.

"Okay, so what does _Tom_ like to wear?"

"Well, actually…", Harry said slowly, nervously, "I don't-I don't actually know…it's just…we go to school and…"

"Hogwarts, I noticed.", Evan said smiling, "So you'll probably need something for him to wear in you free time. How about we start with a nice sweater. Maybe cashmere?"

"Ah…sure", Harry stuttered.

He had absolutely no idea about clothes. That was entirely Draco's department. Harry had never cared about what he wore, but he knew that Tom did.

"Fabulous", Evan said, uttering what seemed to be his favourite word, as he bustled over to one of the many shelves, "You said he had eyes like yours?"

"Yeah…"

"I'm sure it's here somewhere…it was the last one of the collection…", he muttered as he dug into pile after pile, obviously searching for something particular, "AH!"

Harry jumped in surprise.

"There it is!", Evan exclaimed, holding up a very nice and expensive looking pullover the exact colour of Harry and Tom's eyes.

The tall man walked over to him and pushed the article against his chest, looking critically first into his eyes, than back at the pullover.

When Harry reached out to touch the fabric, it was the softest thing he had ever encountered.

"Perfect!", Evan said, tearing him out of his musings, "It's exactly the same colour!"

"What about the size? I mean…will it fit?", Harry asked, eyeing the piece of clothing doubtfully.

"Honey, the size will adjust magically. All the expensive lines do."

"Oh"

Harry felt stupid. Of course it would adjust magically. He should have known.

He followed Evan to the cash register, listening to him talking non-stop.

In the end, Harry was relieved of almost all the money he had brought with him, paying for the cashmere pullover as well as a leather belt with a silver snake as buckle that had green gems as eyes. It fit so perfectly that Harry just couldn't say no.

After finally leaving Evan's shop, Harry first went to the one and only wizard-cash dispenser there was in Hogsmead. He had used it only one or two other times before, not being someone that spent a lot of money on himself.

Despite the awful weather, there was a short line and Harry shivered as he waited.

The system was easy. He had to insert his Gringotts' key into a small hole and turn it once, while thinking about the amount of money you want to withdraw from your vault.

Finally Harry had pocketed his money and decided that the best thing would be to simply walk down the street and look into some windows. Obviously the best presents were found by chance.

When his two hours were nearly up, Harry had successfully found something for his friends.

For Ron he got the newest Chadley Channons book, which had been ridiculously expensive because it had a stamp on it, claiming it to be a special edition along with a kit of broomcare-products of the brand that the captain of the team supposedly used himself.

For Hermione he had gotten a hair clasp that was finally big enough to hold all of her bushy hair. It was golden and little red gems let it glitter in the light. He figured she could wear it to the Christmas ball.

It took him decidedly longer to figure out what Draco would like, but he finally settled on a set of professional quills, having seen the blonde writing with only them and not the regular school-quills and figuring he would need the sometime. After having bought the set and while already on the way to the Three Broomsticks, Harry saw another set, this time one for advanced potions brewers and bought that too.

Shaking sow out of his hair, Harry entered the Three Broomsticks and looked for Ron and Hermione. The inn was stuffed with people, that were all looking for a place to get some warmth back into their limbs.

Finally catching a flash of bright red, he saw his two friends crammed together by a small table in the corner farthest from the entrance.

Upon seeing Harry, Hermione waved a hand at him, making sure he saw them.

Sogging wet, he let himself fall into the seat they had saved for him and pushed a hand through his damp hair to get it out of his eyes.

"You know, I really like your hair longer, Harry, but you could use a little cut to get it in shape.", Hermione said, inspecting the mussed up strands on his head.

Harry only shrugged. Beauty tips were usually wasted on him and his attention was currently focused on Madame Rosmerta, who was bustling by him. He quickly placed his order, before she hurried away again.

"So, did you find everything you needed?", she went on, when she saw that she was not going to get a more eloquent answer.

Turning back to them, Harry talked while discarding his wet scarf and heavy winter coat and drew his wand to cast a drying spell.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I was late, but there was an old witch in front of me, who kept mumbling indistinctive words and confusing the shop keeper."

Ron grinned at that and reached out for the bags, to get them out of the way when a tall wizard glared at all of them, having nearly fallen over them.

Harry was busy pocketing his wand when Ron spoke up.

"What the hell were you doing in Anselmus' Potions shop?", blue eyes blinked at him confusedly.

Hermione abandoned her mug of butterbeer, looking up from where she had been studying the yellow liquid and rose slightly from her seat to get a better look at the bags to the two boys' feet.

"Ah- I needed something for the assignment Snape gave us over the holidays…", Harry said quickly.

Hermione looked immediately pleased and smiled widely at him.

"I'm so proud of you, Harry!", she beamed.

Ron rolled his eyes and took a long sip from his butterbeer.

"Mate, you've turned nuts.", was his grumbled reply when he got his face finally out of his mug.

"You should finally take an example, Ronald Weasley, instead of…-"

Here we go again, Harry thought exasperatedly as he took his own butterbeer from Rosmerta and turned to look out onto the snowy, busy street of Hogsmead.

_/T/'H'_

Tom had his nose buried in a thick tome when Harry returned from dinner that night. He simply brushed his hand over the Slytherin's head gently as he passed him, before making his way into the bathroom.

He didn't want to disturb him and was not really in the mood to say much, after a day full of talking. He needed a break.

Spending the day with Ron and Hermione had been much more draining than he thought possible. There were still so many things they didn't know, it was exhausting to keep up conversation. Harry was once again reminded of how much things had changed and despite knowing that he should have become used to it by now, he was saddened. More than he thought he could be after all that had already happened.

He just never thought that his best friends wouldn't be featuring one of the most important roles in his life anymore. It was scaring him to think that they could never return to how they had been. Maybe even had to part ways in the end.

If he lived that long, that is.

After showering, brushing his teeth and changing into his pyjamas, Harry felt a bit better.

Tom was still reading when he emerged, but looked up when he sensed him entering the room. He studied him carefully as he marked his page, placing the book aside as he stood up.

"Long day?", he asked softly.

Harry nodded, crossing the room to fall onto the bed, on top of the covers. He knew the other boy would follow and sure enough, a few seconds later the mattress dipped, letting him know that Tom had lain down beside him.

Wordlessly, Harry turned and fit his smaller body against the Slytherin's, burying his face into Tom's neck. The taller boy didn't say anything, simply shifted against him to fill every space still in between them and wrapped his long arms securely around him.

Tom's hands were warm when they slid under his sleeping-shirt, caressing him gently and breathing hot breath onto his ear and into his unruly hair.

Harry stroked one of his own hands over the other boy's side, letting the fabric of his shirt rub against his palm, feeling it wrinkle slightly before evening out again with his motions. He was reminded that he still hadn't returned Tom's robe and probably should do it, seeing as how cold it had become.

"Aren't you cold?", he whispered finally.

"Not when you are close.", Tom said softly, one of his hands sliding into his hair while the other descended to his lower back, when continuing he sounded distantly amused, "I thought you'd have noticed by now."

"I didn't mean that.", Harry said, curling his hand around Tom's shoulder and shifting his left leg slightly, "I meant: Do you _feel_ cold?"

For a moment the distant howling of the icy wind and the faint rattling of the windows was the only thing heard in the otherwise silent room.

"Sometimes.", the other boy said absentmindedly, nuzzling the top of the Gryffindor's head, "But not now."

Harry gripped the fabric under his palm, tugging the shirt smoothly out of the black pants and sliding his hand under it to meet smooth, pale skin.

"Do you think they'd ever accept this? Us?", he asked softly, after another pause.

Tom was silent as well, for a while. Simply keeping up the gentle caresses, his long fingers sliding smoothly through tangled hair.

"I don't know.", he finally answered, quietly.

One very insistent gust of wind let the glass of the window shudder dangerously, as if wanting to disturb them in their calmness.

Harry moved closer unconsciously.

"I'm scared.", he whispered, first not even he himself knew exactly what of, until he added the next part, "I don't want to loose them."

Tom's hold tightened, his fingers slipping deeper into his hair and the palm of his other hand pressing firmly onto his skin, drawing him closer.

"You're not alone.", his breath stirred the strands on his forehead, and Harry leaned closer still, "Not ever again."

"I know.", he sighed, hand sliding down to rest on Tom's heart, "Neither are you."

After this there was only silence, but somehow the storm outside seems less threatening to Harry, now that he was intertwined with Tom on his bed. And after the covers vanished under them to reappear on top of their bodies, he felt as if protected by a cocoon of warmth and softness, Tom's hands never leaving him.

_/T/'H'_

One of the shutters clashed first into the wall, then directly closed, the window crunching as if it was about to break. The already dim lit room darkened further and Shadow wasn't sure if it's because of the flickering, quickly dieing candle or the now closed shutters.

Another howling rush of air let it fly open only a moment later, the candle flickering even more, as if the wind could reach it even inside the room.

The darkness remained.

Suddenly the silence was cut with the sound of stumbled steps, letting Shadow straighten and tighten the grip on her wand.

The one and only door to the rather small room opened and a small figure rushed inside, the gush of icy wind that entered with her knocking the hood from Shadow's head. The candle flickered one last time, then finally died, spreading the smell of hot wax and stinging smoke in sharp contrast to the cold, clear air that had filled the stuffed room before.

"Where the hell have you been?", Shadow hissed irritably at the other figure, rising to her feet in one fluid motion, "I've been waiting for over an hour!"

The other girl brushed her own hood from her head, her hands busy with getting rid of the snow clinging to her coat. She war dripping, leaving wet spots on the wooden floor, which creaked as she shifted her weight.

"I couldn't get away.", she snapped, obviously just as disgruntled, "Lavender wouldn't stop talking!"

Shadow felt even more displeasure rising from the pit of her stomach and threw her hair back with an angry wave of her head.

"Then shut her up next time!", she bit out, "This is important and I haven't got any time to waste."

"Yes, of course.", her servant pressed out between clenched teeth.

Since the little incident by the edge of the forest, she had been more cooperative, although still highly irritating.

Shadow smirked inwardly. She loved the fire in her. It was captivating. But what she loved even more than that was to first kindle it, then force it to obey her every wish.

"Good.", she said, "We need to discuss further steps. Are there any news on your side?"

"No.", her servant said quietly, before wincing in pain and falling against the door she had just come through.

"Liar.", Shadow hissed, approaching slowly.

Soon she was standing close enough to breathe warm breath on the obviously chilled face in front of her. The other girl shivered, from cold or fright or both, Shadow didn't bother to find out.

Leaning in even closer, Shadow mock-gently brushed a strand of soaked hair from her servant's face.

"Tell me, do you like it when I hurt you?", she purred cruelly.

The other girl whimpered and shrank further into the hard wood behind her.

"No"

"Oh, but I think you do.", Shadow almost chuckled, before her voice changed again and she let her hand drop to close it around the delicate throat of the other girl, not yet pressing down, "Will you be a good girl now and tell me what you know? Or do you want to play some more?"

Her other hand found a way under her servant's clothes effectively, slipping under the blouse of her school uniform skilfully and caressing her stomach.

"I'm sure we could find a way to entertain ourselves.", Shadow breathed, her throat slightly tighter and heat crawling up her neck as she leaned even closer, noses nearly brushing.

Her servant trembled and she could feel her fear seeping through their link. When their breaths mingled and Shadow's hand slid a fraction lower, a sudden stab of excitement joined the fear and the taller girl smirked knowingly at the hitch in the other girl's breath.

"So you do like this.", she said, pleased with herself and feeling even hotter.

With more strength than she would have thought the smaller girl possessed, her servant shoved her back, breath heavy.

"Get away from me!", it would have been a scream if her throat hadn't been this dry, "What the fuck have you done to me?!"

Despite the rough treatment, Shadow's smirk never wavered as she straightened. Desire burned hot through her veins when she saw the helpless look on the other girl's face, felt the strongly denied want through their link.

"I haven't done anything.", she said softly, looking at her servant intently.

The smaller girl's eyes flashed and she wrapped her arms around herself protectively.

"I hate you!", she spat out, voice dripping with fiery confirmation of her words.

Shadow was not moved, but her lips lifted another notch.

"Oh, I'm sure you do.", she said softly, knowingly, before her voice changed to something more neutral, "Now tell me the news. What is going on in Gryffindor Tower? Tell me the news of Potter's friends and everything else you heard during meals or classes."

Still huddled and trembling against the door, her servant complied, while Shadow lowered herself into a tattered armchair, that squeaked even under her little weight.

Outside the wind was still howling.


	29. Chapter 29

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hey there, i'm terribly sorry for the delay, but you'll NEVER believe what a fucking hardship this chapter was.

never in all my years of ff-writing have i ever worked longer on ONE chapter than on this. i deleted, re-wrote, changed... it had no end! i never managed to convey the feelings i wanted to and Harry and Tom never seemed to hve the right chemistry...

i'm still not pleased, but i just have no energy left. i drove myself and one of my best friends crazy over this. last night was the last time i changed anything in there. there probably are some mistakes, because i didn't even have the nerve to read-through it again.

i'm really sorry if it isn't too good, i'll just say there's a curse on this one and send it to hell.

i promise the next one will be better...at least i HOPE it will...

to the reviews: THANK YOU SO MUCH, i love you!

and yes, i did notice that it was exactly one year from now when i posted the last chapter , i can hardly believe it myself.

as to Shadow, i won't give you any hints, of course, you'll just have to keep guessing. i love to read your reactions and thoughts on this.

as to the plot: next chapter will be another christmas thing, but in ch 21 at the latest, we jump back to more action, i promise .

pls keep reviewing, and for now

enjoy!

(...at least as much as you can with this crap XD)

* * *

When he emerged from the bathroom, Tom was up and fully dressed, buttoning the cuffs on his shirt.

Although his clothes were wrinkle-free, his hair was not as perfect as usual, making him look every bit as if he had just gotten out of bed.

Harry couldn't seem to be able to take his eyes off the taller boy. He studied him intently, as if he had never seen him before, which was utter ridiculous, seeing as he could describe every hair on his head. He knew things that probably even Tom himself had never noticed.

Like the way his brows would draw together symmetrically on both sides when he frowned, or the perfectly straight line of his nose, which when Harry followed it with his eyes, always let his attention waver and lock onto his lips.

Oh god, his lips…really when had been the last time they had kissed? Really kissed, with parted mouths and hot battling tongues…

Probably the time where Tom had gotten jealous and lost control. This one time when they had almost gone all the way. He knew they had both wanted to. Badly.

How much time has it been? Who did he fool, he knew _exactly_ how long it had been – over a month. Five weeks and 2 days.

Gods, Harry felt his cheeks heating and tried to steer his thoughts into a different direction. He had no desire to repeat his bolting performance from earlier.

Tom had still been asleep and Harry had buried his cold face in the taller boy's chest and tried to crawl under his skin. Tom had unconsciously tightened his hold on him and shifted to accommodate Harry in the new position.

As soon as their bodies were pressed together like that, Harry had started thinking about Tom's kisses and how much he wanted for their skin to touch…

Needless to say, Harry was forced to leave the bed before Tom even woke up and fled to take a shower too cool for the current weather conditions.

When he had decided to take it slow this time around, Harry had never guessed it to be so very hard. Literally.

With every day it was harder to keep his fingers from exploring too boldly or his lips to press onto a smooth neck or cheek instead of Tom's soft lips.

Suddenly bright green eyes were looking back at him, an eyebrow rising in question.

Harry blinked, torn from his thoughts, and blushed furiously as he quickly turned his gaze away.

He hurried over to the dresser, yanking the doors open with a bit more vigour than would have been necessary as he tired to get his breathing back under control.

While he hastily pushed several pieces of clothing aside, Harry could feel Tom's presence behind him and his breathing hitched and shortened even more. What had gotten into him all of a sudden? Hormones?

"Harry?", Tom asked slowly, so close that the Gryffindor could feel the warmth of his body behind him, "What are you doing?"

Harry felt his cheeks burning, not sure if Tom could feel his sudden wave of desire through their link.

"Your robe.", he nearly mumbled.

Just then his right hand connected with the sought article and Harry yanked it out of the closet.

"Here it is!", he exclaimed, a bit more enthusiastic than one would normally be in a similar situation.

Without meeting Tom's eyes, Harry busied himself with throwing the robe around his shoulders. The taller boy complied by sliding his arms through the sleeves, but then halted Harry's movements by gently catching his fumbling hands.

Harry looked up automatically, startled by the surge of electricity that shot through him. It was not the first time it happened, but somehow it was…different this time. More intense…

Tom was looking at him intensely, his face so close that he could feel his breath on his face.

"Harry…", it was almost a whisper.

His hands let go of his wrists and he reached up to cup his face instead, his thumbs running over his cheekbones as he leaned even closer and pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Harry moaned softly, not able to stifle it in time. He felt so hot he thought he might melt. Sliding his arms around the Slytherin, Harry rose onto the tip of his toes to press closer, just as Tom's hands slid from his face, over his chest and finally around his back to push their bodies together.

Harry slid one of his hands to the nape of Tom's neck, feeling him shiver as he caressed what he knew was a sensitive spot, the other sliding fully into his hair and drawing his head closer still.

Tom's breath was hot against his lips and he felt that he was short of breath himself.

They were still looking at each other, but too close to really see anything. Tom leaned down, bending his knees a bit to relief Harry of the strain of standing on tip-toe.

Drawing back slightly, Tom reached for his glasses and gently, slowly, slid them off his face, obviously giving him time to protest. But he didn't.

Harry had no idea what Tom did with his glasses, but they where gone by the time his arms wrapped wound him once more, palms pressing into the small of his back, drawing him close.

Pressing their foreheads together, Tom closed his eyes and gently brushed the tip of his nose against the bridge of Harry's.

Harry flexed his fingers, gripping the nape of the taller boy gently as he angles his head and drew him even closer as he closed his own eyes.

Tom turned his head slightly to the side, letting his cheek slide against his own. His lips almost made contact with his ear as one of the Slytherin's hands dug into his back.

"I know what you were thinking about earlier.", he breathed softly.

Harry shivered and swallowed heavily. He desperately searched for a reason why this was a bad idea, but intense desire clouded his judgement and all he wanted was Tom. Right here, right now.

"I think about it, too.", Tom went on, "All the time…"

Harry was panting by now, his lips all but aching by not being connected to the other boy's.

One of Tom's hands slid to his nape as well and Harry pressed closer, titled his head back slightly to give him better access.

When Harry finally felt the gentlest of brushes, it almost felt as if they hadn't actually touched at all but the electric shock that ran through him for the second time this morning told him otherwise.

His moan was deeper, harsher and completely involuntary. Both their breathing having turned in panting rushes of hot air, Harry was almost delirious with it all. He clutched Tom's hair harsher than he intended and drew him back towards him, his lips already parted in the hope of a deeper connection this time.

Tom gripped him tightly, his hands hot and demanding as he pushed him bodily against the dresser, the wood rattling loudly as the closet-door snapped shut under both their weights.

Harry could feel every inch of the taller boy's from against him, could feel his erection pressing into his own and thought he might faint any moment. Tom pushed against him, licking the corner of his mouth, his lips so close Harry could almost taste them. He turned his head abruptly, tired of the teasing and the hesitation, ready to smash their mouths together and suck all of Tom's air from his lungs, when suddenly-

-there was a knock on the door.

All of the air in Tom really left his lungs, but it was because of the moan of frustration he uttered when he slumped against Harry's form, burying his head into the smaller boy's neck.

Harry didn't know if he was about to cry or laugh. Probably the former.

The knock sounded again and slowly, reluctantly, they detangled themselves. Tom brushed some hair from his forehead and returned the glasses to his face as gently as he had taken them off.

Harry caressed the taller boy's hot cheek gently, letting his hand brush through his soft hair before leaning up to kiss him chastely on the corner of his mouth.

They smiled at each other and Harry turned towards the door, crossing the room to open it.

Draco raised an eyebrow.

"Did I…interrupt something?", he asked carefully, obviously taking in their flushed faces and rumpled hair, as well as the death glare Tom was sending his way.

"What is it, Draco?", Harry asked tiredly.

"It's the 24th.", he said as if it explained everything, "You have to go to breakfast, I thought I'd make sure that you didn't oversleep."

"Well, I didn't.", the Gryffindor answered, trying to suppress his annoyance, "I'll be down in a minute."

Draco glanced over his shoulder at Tom, before looking back at him with a small smirk.

"See you, later.", he just said, not bothering to conceal the pleased look on his face, before leaving.

Harry closed the door and leaned his forehead against the wood.

"Don't say it.", he warned.

Tom remained silent, but Harry could feel his anger through their link.

They were both silent for a while, but when Harry turned back around, Tom was standing directly in front of him.

Wordlessly, Harry stepped into his embrace, feeling the tension drain form his body as the other boy's arms wrapped around him.

Harry stroked Tom's back, absentmindedly noting how used he had become to seeing Tom only in his shirt, the robe seeming slightly unfamiliar. Things had changed so much between them since their…falling out.

"What are you going to do today?"

Harry buried his face deeper into the Slytherin's warm chest, breathing in his scent, mixed with the freshness of the recently washed robe.

"Are you asking me what I will do, or what I would want to?", Harry asked, his voice slightly muffled.

"What would you want to do?"

"To stay with you, in this room, in this bed. All day. Without anyone coming to bother us."

Tom caressed his unruly hair, the other one slipping under his shirt as he kissed the side of his face gently.

"But?"

"But instead I have to go to breakfast and after that I promised Ron and Hermione to spent the day with them in Gryffindor Tower.", Harry sighed, "'Like old times' and all that crap…"

Tom's form shook slightly with laughter.

"Well, then you will be pleased to know that I have a surprise for you when you come back from your duties.", he said softly, his long fingers drawing circles on his naked skin.

Harry shivered.

"Surprise?", he asked faintly, desire already starting to rebuild.

"Of course.", the Slytherin said matter-of-factly, "Or did you think that I didn't have a Christmas present for you?"

"But it isn't Christmas till tomorrow morning."

"I know." "But I'd rather you have it tonight."

"Okay.", Harry said slowly, looking up into Tom's eyes, "But won't you give me a hint?"

Tom smiled slightly, something that always warmed Harry to the core and he thought the Slytherin still didn't do often enough.

"You'll just have to wait and see.", Tom said as he leaned down and gently kissed the tip of his nose.

_/T/'H'_

Harry wrapped his arms around Tom's shoulders from the side, where the Slytherin was sitting in one of the armchairs, a new book in his hands.

He slid one of his hands into Tom's soft hair, caressing the nape of his neck in its wake and kissing his jaw gently.

The book closed itself and flew over to the small table, while Tom's hands reached up to close around Harry's right arm. He tugged gently and drew Harry closer. The Gryffindor complied the unsaid request and slid into the taller boy's lap.

Tom caressed his back through his clothes and kissed his neck gently, making him shiver and press closer.

"How was it?", Tom mumbled against his skin.

"Just don't ask.", Harry sighed, sliding his fingers deeper into Tom's hair and nuzzling his ear.

This time it was Tom that shivered and Harry felt pleased, smiling slightly.

"So…", Harry began softly, kissing the spot under Tom's ear, "You said something about a surprise?"

Drawing back a bit in order to look into his eyes, the taller boy kissed the corner of his mouth and caressed his cheek.

"If you keep that up, I'll never get my thoughts together enough to even talk to you properly.", Tom said, slightly amused.

Harry laughed softy, leaning back a bit further and brushing black strands from the other boy's forehead.

Tom mirrored him, but his fingers lingered on his scar, his face serious as he traced the line with the tip of his index finger.

Harry caught his hand in between his own and kissed the palm gently, before cradling it against his chest.

"Don't think about it.", he said softly.

Tom looked away, his fingers now curling around Harry's.

"Do you remember anything?", he asked quietly, without looking up, his eyes fixed onto their joined hands.

Harry frowned slightly at the rapid change of the atmosphere, but didn't protest. Tom had never denied him knowledge of anything he had wanted to know since their falling out.

"Not really.", he answered, "Just a lot of bright green light and Voldemort's laughter."

At this Tom's eyes snapped up, his eyes slightly wider and an unusual look of surprise on his face.

"He was laughing?", he sounded a bit choked.

Harry's brow furrowed a bit more, this time with worry. He reached with one of the hands that held Tom's up to stroke his hair gently.

"Yes.", Harry answered softly, "But what brought this on?"

"I just…", Tom trailed off, looking away once more, "What else do you know about…me. I mean what did I do after school?"

Tom's grip on him tightened a bit, something that Harry recognized to be a sign of distress.

He wasn't too sure if he liked the path this conversation was taking.

"I don't know too much. I would say Dumbledore knows a lot more…", he said slowly.

"But I want to hear it from you.", Tom said quietly, vulnerably.

Harry leaned closer to kiss the side of his face gently, before sitting back again and squeezing his hand in silent support.

"But he wasn't you and I won't address him as such.", Harry said firmly.

Tom nodded in silent agreement.

"All I know is that after his 7th year, he wanted to start at Hogwarts as a teacher for DADA, but Dippet refused him. After that he took a job at Boring and Burkes. It was also the same time he sought out Riddle senior. He-", Harry broke off, looking uncertainly at Tom's face.

The other boy met his gaze and upon seeing his uncertainty, he squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"He what?", Tom pressed gently.

"He killed him.", Harry forced his voice to obey him, making him sound calmer than he felt, "Along with his wife and son."

Tom once again chose to avoid his eyes and Harry could feel him withdrawing slightly as his body tensed, knowing that this was affecting him far more than he let show.

"Go on."

Harry swallowed heavily, but complied.

"After the murder he vanished from England and although there were some hints, nothing was ever actually proven until much later. When he returned some time later, he once again went to Hogwarts, this time to Dumbledore, but again he was refused. I don't really know what happened afterwards…I guess he slowly started to gather followers…"

Tom's hand slid from his grasp as the other boy wrapped his arms around him and drew him closer while he hid his face into Harry's chest. The Gryffindor hugged him tightly, his arms closing around the softly trembling form and smoothing his palms over Tom's robe clad back as if it this was all it would take to brush the troubles if his mind aside.

They sat in silence for a while, just breathing each other's scent and enjoying the closeness. Only the distant sound of the crackling fireplace sometimes cut through the stillness.

Harry let the smooth black hair slide though his fingers as he kissed Tom's temple. Shifting his body into a better position before continuing with the gentle movement of his fingers on the Slytherin's scalp.

"He isn't you, Tom, you know that.", Harry whispered gently.

"I know.", the other boy mumbled against his chest, his voice slightly muffled, "But I would have become him, Harry."

Harry drew back, cupping the Slytherin's face he looked into his eyes intently. They were unnaturally stormy and open.

"But you didn't, damnit!", he said firmly, "You are worlds apart. There is no need to think about things that could have happened. You are different from him. I know you are."

Tom placed his hands over the ones holding his face, gripping them gently.

"How can you believe in me like that?", he almost whispered, "I'm not a good person, Harry, and you knew that from the beginning. But you never judged me. Not once even after I betrayed you...I don't deserve you. You've given me so much and I never could give you anything back."

Harry felt his heart clenching, his breathing hitch. His hands curled around Tom's instinctively and he leaned forward to press their foreheads together.

"That's not true.", he protested quietly, their breaths mingling.

"Yes it is.", Tom said firmly, closing his eyes and nuzzling his face gently, "But now I finally can give you something in turn. I can give you something, which I know you longed for. It's not only my Christmas present to you, but also prove of my feelings."

Opening his eyes, Tom gently freed one of his hands to caress one of Harry's cheeks.

"We learned together that words are not what matter, but our actions.", he said softly, "I may be great with words, but when it comes to my true feelings I am lost. But Harry even if I don't tell you often, you have to know that nothing matters more to me than you. I know I betrayed you before and I also know that maybe you won't trust my words now, but I hope you will trust me after this."

Tom paused to take a deep breath and Harry gave him time to gather his thoughts, knowing that he would continue.

"You know how deep our link is. If we open up to each other we can feel what the other is feeling, we can share out thoughts, our strength…our memories.", the Slytherin paused again and Harry was so overwhelmed he didn't even know if he had fully registered what was actually happening, "I want to show you what it was like for me."

Harry blinked to clear his vision, his burning eyes nearly spilling over. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't find anything that could express the amount of feeling that was coursing through him at this very moment.

Instead he leaned forward to press a kiss to the corner of Tom's mouth, before gently brushing his lips over the other boy's in a fleeting caress. Pulling away quickly, Harry simply leaned their foreheads together, not bearing to lose contact yet.

Tom looked at him with slightly brighter eyes and Harry could see him swallowing. The Slytherin's hands moved up slightly, sliding partly into his hair.

"I need you to let me in, Harry.", Tom said quietly, "There can't be any walls between us in this."

Harry once again closed his hands over the other boy's and looked at him intently.

"I do trust you, Tom."

The Gryffindor could feel Tom tremble beneath him, his hands tightening his hold slightly as he swallowed again, his eyes open and vulnerable.

"Then let's go to bed."

With a last fleeting kiss to Tom's face, Harry stood, the fingers of his right hand intertwining with the ones from the Slytherin's left as he gently helped him stand and led him over to their bed.

Not bothering to undress fully, Harry simply took off his robe and tie, throwing it carelessly onto the nearest chair. Tom did the same and they kicked off their shoes.

Harry cast his glasses aside, before crawling onto the bed where the other boy was already waiting.

He automatically inched as close to him as possible and Tom welcomed him in his warm arms.

Sliding his pale hands into Harry's hair, he caressed the long strands softly.

"You'll have to look at me.", he said softly, "And remember to relax, don't fight me."

Harry closed his hands over Tom's, looking at him calmly.

"I meant what I said."

Nodding slightly, Tom's grip tightened a bit and his body tensed in concentration.

Harry was drowning in the taller boy's green eyes, drowning in the flood of emotions from both of them, when suddenly there was a flash in front of his inner eye, forcing him to close his eyes involuntarily.

_/T/'H'/T/'H'_

"_Oh, look who's here.", a cold, mocking voice said sweetly, "Inky winky wittle Riddle."_

_A small black haired boy, maybe seven years old, glared at the taller redhead, who was obviously older - maybe ten. A group of boys varying from eight to ten stood scattered behind him, all of them watching the display greedily._

Rage – disgust – hatred

_Tom was not intimidated, but his small hands were holding a book close to his chest, as if to shield himself. His green eyes were fixed on the redhead that was obviously the leader of the gang, calculating his next move and at the same time looking out for any sudden moves any of the boys could make._

Vigilance

"_I would not be so quick as to judge me by my size, McDoyle, seeing as your brain is obviously lacking in exactly this department."_

Smugness – Even if I don't have the muscles, I have the brain

_McDoyle looked slightly confused, obviously having to think about what Tom had told him. When he finally understood, his eyes narrowed. They had the colour of a puddle of mud, somewhere between grey and brown that Tom found disgusting._

"_I wouldn't spew shit like that, Riddle, it could get you into trouble.", McDoyle snarled._

_The book fell from his grasp, finally, when McDoyle shook him roughly. Tom clenched his jaw, refusing to utter even one pained gasp._

Roughness – never gentle, not once

"_Well, look at this.", the bigger boy mocked, "Not so conversational now, are we?"_

_Without warning, McDoyle dropped him back to the ground. Tom's legs couldn't withstand the sudden weight of hi body and simply gave under him. He landed ruggedly on the ground beside his book, immediately covering all of his clothes in mud._

_Glaring up at McDoyle, Tom immediately got back on his feet._

"_It would make no sense talking to you, seeing as you haven't got the intellect to follow me.", Tom hissed, his irritation growing as his book was now probably unreadable._

Fear, that was afraid to be shown – Pride, that was too proud to back down

_McDoyle's eyes narrowed dangerously and he looked even more furious._

"_At least my mother wasn't a whore.", the redhead spat out, "And I am no bastard!"_

Hurt, so hurt

"_No one insults my mother.", Tom hissed dangerously, sounding like an angry snake, "No one!"_

I want you dead!

_A sudden gust of wind let the smaller boy's clothes flutter and his black hair was tousled and an invisible force simply tore through the small crowd of boys and knocked them over as if they had been made out of paper._

_/T/'H'/T/'H'_

"_Tom, what you did was very bad, do you understand?"_

_Tom glared at the headmistress of the orphanage, Mrs Sheer. He had never liked her in the first place. She had no idea what was really going on._

"_You can talk to me like you do to a normal person, you know.", he said coldly, "I'm a child, not an imbecile."_

Annoyance – when will you see I am older than I seem?

"_I want you to show me respect, Tom, is that clear?", she said sharply, "I'm your headmistress, so address me in the proper manner. What you did to those poor boys, especially to Douglas."_

Annoyance turning to anger – they had no right, no right!

"_He insulted my mother.", he said icily._

"_And that was very wrong of him, but there is no excuse for your use of violence.", Mrs Sheer retorted strictly, "You should have come to me or some other carer. You are to stay in your room for the next three days, except for meals. Dismissed."_

_When the door closed firmly behind him, glass shattered somewhere inside the room._

I hope she fucking cut herself.

_/T/'H'/T/'H'_

_Tom kicked the cupboard in front of him in frustration, not even registering the pain properly as his foot connected with the hard wood._

_How low would McDoyle sink? There seemed to be no boundaries!_

I want him to hurt like he hurts me.

_Even angrier than before, Tom sought for something he could focus his anger upon. As it seemed, the dresser was most suitable and so he glared at it fiercely._

_God, how he _hated_ that disgusting creature! He wished for him to burn in hell!_

Burn, mercilessly like you always treat me. Selfish and uncaring. Destructive like flames overtaking a forest – quickly and fiercely.

_And flames there were, hot and high devouring the wood and everything still inside. The smoke was thick in the air, the fire nearly too close to him, making his skin crawl. His lungs were filled with a stinging sensation and he found it hard to breath._

_Shadows were lit and the rest of the room was tinged in an orange hue, making it look even more devilish._

_But Tom remained standing._

_/T/'H'/T/'H'_

"_Tom, this is Professor Dumbledore.", Mrs Sheer said, "He wants to talk to you, please behave yourself._

_Ignoring the comment, Tom's eyes were already fixed on the tall man beside the headmistress. Brown beard and hair, bright blue eyes and the strangest clothes._

So intense…

"_Hello, Tom.", he greeted him warmly, "Why don't we sit down?"_

No one has ever talked to me like that – so…nice…

_Wordlessly, Tom took the offered seat, his eyes never wavering from the other man. Dumbledore sat as well, gathering his long robes around himself and accepting his curious stare with a calm of his own._

"_Did", Tom hesitated, he couldn't remember the last time he had, "Did you come to take me away?"_

Please say yes, please take me away…

_Dumbledore smiled gently, his eyes twinkling warmly. He reached across the small distance and placed a long fingered hand on his head, patting him gently before letting it slide down and rest on his shoulder._

"_Yes, I did."_

Thank you, thank you, thank you

_Dumbledore reached in his pocket, producing what looked like an old fashioned letter. The paper was unmistakable parchment and it even had a waxen crest on the front._

_Tom accepted it, for the first time looking away from the man to look down at the address._

_Mr T. Riddle_

_Orphanage of Mrs Abigail Sheer_

_Cameron Street Nr 5_

_Winchester_

_Hampshire_

"_It's…really mine?", Tom asked incredulously, looking back up._

"_Yes.", Dumbledore confirmed gently, "But before you open it, I have to tell you a few things."_

_The boy frowned slightly, years of suspicion refusing to remain silent._

"_Let's start with Merope Gaunt.", he said gently, "Your mother."_

_/T/'H'/T/'H'_

_The door swung open at once, revealing Professor Dumbledore._

_The Entrance Hall was so big you could have fitted the whole of the orphanage in it. The stone walls were lit with flaming torches like the ones at Gringotts, the ceiling was too high to make out, and the magnificent marble staircase facing them led to the upper floors._

I've never seen a building this big before…

_Tom was still cold when he entered the castle. He felt as though the icy wind outside had reached every millimetre of his skin, even through his thick robe and coat._

_He was till getting used to the new garments, but liked them much better than his previous clothes already. Not to mention that they were in a much better condition and also a lot warmer._

"_Thank god, we're inside.", wheezed a small boy somewhere to his left, a handkerchief clutched in his small fingers, "I thought I would die in that boat!"_

_Tom rolled his eyes and turned away._

Pathetic.

_He hoped that they were less fools in this school than there had been at the orphanage. Idiocy caused him almost physical pain._

_Dumbledore smiled kindly and his eyes twinkled happily, as they had all the other times Tom had met him. The last time being only a week ago when the other wizard had taken him to Diagon Alley to purchase his school utensils._

"_Welcome to Hogwarts, dear students. I am Professor Dumbledore.", he said softly, but nevertheless everyone immediately turned to listen, the chatter subsiding, "Now if you would please get in a line of two and follow me."_

_Obediently, all of the students got into line and started walking. To Tom's dismay Handkerchief-boy was walking beside him._

"_What do you think?", the small boy wheezed suddenly, looking at Tom with small, watery eyes._

_Raising an eyebrow, Tom looked down at the pathetic figure, but thought that maybe he could indulge him a bit to pass the time. Who knew? If he was a pureblood than maybe he could tell him something that he didn't know._

_He looked the blonde over, taking in his bony fame, the clothes that were far too big for him and the runny nose. On second though – maybe not._

"_Would you care to be more eloquent?", Tom asked coldly, "I have failed to grasp the meaning of your babbling."_

_The other boy looked insulted and also, Tom noted with pleasure, fairly intimidated._

Oh yes, you'll all see I am not weak.

"_I wanted to know if you knew in which house you would like to be sorted.", he said stiffly, before blowing his nose._

_Tom looked away, disgusted, and thought about the question. He had read Hogwarts: A History, of course, and knew what the small kid was talking about. It was something that had occupied his mind since he had first read about it._

_Of all the houses Slytherin had probably intrigued him the most, but he was not going to tell the other boy that._

"_I think it's pointless to give something so much thought, that lies not in our hands to decide.", Tom said finally, "I've read that the Sorting Hat is very reliable and has never made a mistake before."_

"_Well, yes, that's true…", the other admitted, "But nevertheless, I think it's exciting to imagine in what house you'll end up. All my family has been in Hufflepuff."_

_Tom glanced sideways, in time to see the blonde nearly stumble over his too long robes and snorted._

"_Why am I not surprised?", he scoffed softly._

"_What?", the small boy hiccupped, pressing the handkerchief to his nose once again._

_Tom simply brushed the question aside with a sweep of his hand._

"_What about you?", the blonde persisted after lowering the hanky._

_He felt himself stiffen and was contemplating whether to snap at the other boy or simply ignore him, when the group halted abruptly._

_Looking around, Tom had a hard time hiding his awe when he saw that they had entered a great hall, the Great Hall, and he was looking at the famous enchanted ceiling for the first time._

Beautiful…so much magic. I want to do magic like that someday…

"_I will read your names in alphabetical order and when it's your turn, you are to step forward, place the Sorting Hat onto your head and sit down on his stool. Please remain seated until you have been officially sorted.", Professor Dumbledore explained patiently, "After that you are welcome to take a seat at your house's table."_

_The students nodded obediently and Dumbledore, after giving them one last reassuring smile, enrolled the parchment in his hands and read he first name aloud:_

"_Abraham, Daniel,"_

_A tall dark haired boy dematerialized himself from the black crowd of first years and walked confidently over to the three legged stool. When he sat, Tom could see that he was extremely handsome._

_He had to remember this one._

"_RAVENCLAW"_

_Abraham stood once again and placed the hat back on the stool, walking over to the Ravenclaw table, which was now cheering loudly._

"_Austin, Melissa"_

_Disinterested, Tom turned his head away from the plump girl and looked around the Great Hall once more, his eyes sweeping over the Head table._

"_HUFFELPUFF"_

_The bald man at the head had to be the headmaster, Dippet._

He looks weak. I doubt he is too bright. It will be too easy to fool him.

_Finally, after King, Sandra (Gryffindor), Kou, Ushio (Ravenclaw), Raenolds, Mitchell (Gryffindor) and Rhine, Peter (Hufflepuff), Dumbledore called his name._

"_Riddle, Tom"_

Finally

"_What do we have here", whispered a small voice in his ear, "I asked myself when I would meet you, young Riddle."_

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_Ah, you don't know.", the Hat said mysteriously, "Of course you don't. Your mother is long gone and Dumbledore was hoping he could keep it from you."_

"_Keep what?", Tom snapped, "Stop being so vague and tell me!"_

"_Demanding, aren't we?", the Hat drawled on, unimpressed, "Overly intelligent and very ambitioned, little patience and full of pride as well as a scheming mind and great talent for manipulation. You are just as I thought you would be. Though you are only a half-blood, the Slytherin in you is strong and enough of the ancient blood still runs through your veins."_

"_Are you telling me my mother was…was a direct descendent of Salazar Slytherin himself? One of the founders?"_

"_Intelligence was not wasted on you I see.", the Hat mocked, "Yes, that is exactly what I'm telling you. But be warned, if you follow the path you are so eager to pursue, you will be tempted to achieve more than you are supposed to. See that you don't lose yourself in your power."_

"_If I achieve it, I will use it."_

"_That is what I fear…", the Hat sighed, before his voice turned outside and he shouted the next word to the Hall, "SLYTHERIN"_

_Shaken, Tom took off the Hat and looked over at the Slytherin table, where the students were clapping now._

_Straightening his pose, Tom steeled himself and walked over to his house with sure steps._

Before this year is over, any one of you will know me and before I leave this school, you will see me as your leader, I'll make sure of that.

_/T/'H'/T/'H'_

Gasping, Harry's eyes slid open and blindly reached for Tom, feeling the other boy's arms coming around him immediately.

The embrace was tight and secure and Harry simply buried his face into the taller boy's neck on instinct, feeling utterly exhausted. His mind was still too overwhelmed to get anything sorted out, he was shaking with the onslaught of different emotions, not knowing which ones were his or Tom's.

Imaged he had just seen flashed through his head and his brain protested at the prospect of handling each of them separately with the proper feelings attached.

Clutching onto the other boy, Harry felt tears flowing from his eyes that he had no control over, hadn't even known he needed to shed. Tom held him tightly caressing his face and kissing them away with soft lips.

Finally Harry drew back slightly, his hands almost frantic and shaking as he caressed Tom's face and hair.

"Tom…", he choked out, his throat raw and dry, not really knowing what he wanted to say.

"Shhh…", Tom soothed him gently, kissing the bridge of his nose softly.

Harry cupped his face, reciprocating the kiss on the same spot, before closing the space between them and pressing their lips together without another moment of hesitation.

He needed this, they both needed this and they needed it now.

After the initial shock, Tom's lips softened even more and Harry felt as if he could sink into them.

Tom's arms around him tightened as he pressed them closer together and Harry grasped the back of his neck with one and, while his other arm wrapped around the taller boy's shoulders.

Slowly they started to move their lips against each other. It was so soft, so _intense._

Harry almost felt as if they had never kissed before. And maybe they hadn't, at least not like this.

Their mouths fit together in a way Harry was sure was new. He could feel every little ridge of Tom's soft lips, was dizzy from the feel of them against his own.

They drew back a fraction only to press them back together, the soft smacking sound soothing Harry's raw nerves.

As they re-connected, Harry could feel the urgency behind it, could feel the hitching in both their breathing and the deep craving to crawl under Tom's skin. To open his mouth and let their connection deepen even more.

Tom gently nipped on his lower lips, drawing him even closer, pressing their mouths harder together. Already there was heat starting to pool in the pit of his stomach and he was feeling light headed by the amount of blood that rushed from his brain to other parts of his body.

Harry moaned, his lips parting, pleading…

"Harry…", Tom whispered against his lips, but Harry didn't want to hear it, didn't want to acknowledge the fact that although they had taken a step forward, it was still not the right time for going any further.

"No", he almost whimpered, "Please don't stop. I need you, please…please just kiss me, Tom…"

Tom groaned and kissed him again, drawing Harry's bottom lips into his mouth.

Harry shivered and writhed and Tom released his lip to get more contact, letting their now slick mouths slide together more smoothly, before drawing back again. More abruptly this time.

Harry's eyes snapped open in surprise.

Tom was nearly on top of him, his eyes dark and his chest heaving. Lips shiny and deep red from their passionate pushing and grinding.

"Harry…", he gasped again, obviously trying to gather his thoughts, "Harry please, we can't."

Pressing his eyes closed Harry let his head fall back with a sigh. He hated this. He fucking _hated_ this!

"I know.", he said, breath heavy and lips still tingling.

He felt Tom shifting, lying back down at his side before running soothing hands through his hair and over his face.

"I'm sorry if it was too much for you.", he whispered softly, "Maybe I shouldn't-"

Harry opened his eyes and turned his head to the side, silencing the other boy with a finger to his still burning lips.

"It wasn't.", he said softly, gently tracing the skin under his finger before letting his hand slide into the soft black hair once again, "Thank you, Tom."

Tom didn't answer verbally, simply leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to his scar, lingering there for a few moments.

"Sleep now.", he said quietly, one of his hands caressing the nape of his neck as he settled fully against him.

Harry felt more exhausted than ever and as soon as he had turned his face into the taller boy's chest, he felt the blackness of deep sleep dragging him under.


	30. Chapter 30

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hey all of you! THANKS SO MUCH for the reviews, loved them all, as always, and love you all, as always :) .

i especially wanted to thank you all for reassuring me that the last chapter wasn't totally crappy. i really appreciate that! i'm also very glad you liked the way i let Harry find out more about Tom :).

i'm sorry that it lately takes me longer to update, but school is killing me... i hope you'll be patient with me and don't give up on my story!

as promised this is another filler, but in the next chapter there will be more action again. i do hope that with the christmas break coming up, i'll be able to update quicker and get more done in shorter time. i'm slowly getting rid of my slight writer's block and was more pleased with this chapter than i was with the last (thank god!). so i'm hoping you'll like it too!

as for now,

enjoy!

_**esthervanberkum : **thank you for your review, as to your comment: i actually thought that it was his father and his father's wife, it's not that clearly said in GoF, but maybe i was just not reading closely enough and am sorry for that...but i also thought it would fit better. as to what exactly Tom did after school,...you see there are many people who said many different things. i didn't want to base it all on the bits and pieces that Rowling has thrown our way, because, admittedly, i think she could have done a better job with it. there are so many paralelles between Tom and Harry that she intended and hinted at, but never got into any deeper (at least that's my impression). i must say that i absolutely hated HBP and read it in only one night, quiet hurriedly i must admit. there are many things i have already forgotten, but my intent was to ignore the last 2 books altogether. i wholly based this story on information pre HBP and TDH and although i admit that i maybe took some little pieces of information from them, it's not nearly enough to claim that i really considered the contants of these 2 books. so i admit to having changed some parts, simply because it suited me and i wanted to in order to underline that Tom and Harry have many things in common, but i also warned that i would only portray my verion of Tom's past/history and that's what i did._

_as to Harry remembering more about the night he was killed: i am aware of the fact that the Dementors made him remember more than he had before, but i also wanted to show that Harry actually feels very uncomfortable to talk to Tom about the murder of his parents and so he doesn't tell a lie, exactly, but not necessarily the whole truth either. because if looked at closely, Harry himself doesn't actually remember anything more than the light and the laughter. only the meeting with the Dementors actually dragged the rest from his unconciousness..._

_i know that it is an issue and i intended to get deeper into it later on. it was still too soon for them to discuss Harry's parents._

_i hope that this answered all your questions and hope you still like my story anyway :). please keep on reviewing and don't hesitate to protest again if anything is unclear or something! if there are any more questions, you know where to find me :D ._

* * *

Harry was still mostly asleep, when suddenly something jumped onto the bed beside him and made the mattress shift violently, nearly making him fall off the bed in the process.

He bolted upwards, a startled cry escaping him, that was drowned in very familiar laughter.

"Aw, mate, you should see your face!", Ron cackled, his face red from laughing so hard.

Hermione stood beside the bed, trying to look chiding, but fighting to keep a straight face instead.

Harry pressed a hand against his racing heart, still not fully having comprehended what had actually happened.

Rubbing over his face tiredly, Harry felt a trace of annoyance building in the pit of his stomach. This was definitely not the way he had imagined waking up the night after Tom and he had kissed again after over a month.

It was Christmas morning and he was anxious to give Tom his present. He had wanted to open his own with him, but now that was obviously not an option anymore.

"Ron, Hermione.", he said faintly, reaching for his glasses.

"Merry Christmas, Harry.", Hermione smiled at him, "We thought it would be nice to open our presents together, like every year."

Harry's gaze wandered over to the small pile of presents at the foot of his bed and now noticed the other two bigger ones next to it.

Why wasn't he happy about that? Why didn't it feel right between them anymore? Did they feel it, too?

"Yeah, nice…", he said lamely, pushing hair out of his eyes and shifting into a better position.

"Right.", Ron said eagerly, "We'll start with mine!"

Hermione rolled her eyes, but obediently leaned over to pull one of the presents from Ron's pile, handing it to him.

"Here you go."

Harry didn't say anything, his mind was elsewhere when he reached for the present he recognized as the one he had bought his best friend and held it in his hands without actually seeing it.

He only now realized that he hadn't even told them about Sirius yet and what scared him even more, was the fact that he wasn't even sure if he was going to tell them about it at all…

_/T/'H'_

To say Shadow wasn't happy would be an understatement. She was pacing and it was a wonder that her heels hadn't formed holes in the ratty carpet.

The temperature had dropped even lower, if that was even possible, but Shadow had flung her robe and scarf aside.

Her servant was lunging on one of the moth eaten armchairs that squeaked so much they sounded as if they would collapse under her light weight any moment.

The howling wind drowned out the sound of the small fire and she calmly watched her mistress, a look that might even resemble smugness on her face.

"We are behind schedule.", the taller girl said, to no one in particular, "This damn Christmas shit is delaying everything!"

The other girl didn't answer, just studied her fingernails.

"They should have started by now. I wonder what the hell Riddle is doing!"

"Maybe he isn't doing anything anymore…", her servant said, looking at her defiantly.

For the first time since entering the shack, Shadow stopped all motion and turned to the smaller girl.

"What the hell are you blabbering about?", she snapped, "You think he's suddenly in _love_?"

Snorting, she let herself fall in the armchair opposite her servant, dust flying around her in cloudy waves.

"Don't be ridiculous. Not everyone is as noble as you.", Shadow scoffed, "I always thought that brains were more important."

"Oh of course!", the other girl bit back, "Forgive me, oh studious one!"

Shadow glared at her, her bad mood only increasing.

"Will you shut up?", she snapped, "It's bad enough they want to bring the mutt back, but now that we included it in the plan, which is undoubtedly Riddle's fault, they are behind schedule! How the hell are we supposed to work like this!"

Her servant didn't bother to reply, looking out of one of the dirty windows instead.

"We need to do something, and we need to do it soon…", Shadow said, this time more to herself than to the other girl, "But this time I'll see to it personally. With all these idiots around it's no wonder nothing works as it should."

"And what is your plan, oh great one?", her servant scoffed, turning her head to look at her mockingly.

"We need something to shake both of them up a bit. Potter seems to be a bit too cozy over there…", Shadow said slowly, "And I think I know exactly what it will be…"

_/T/'H'_

When Harry finally detached himself from his friends, it was afternoon. They had not only spent their morning outside in the snow with almost all of Gryffindor house and several other students, but then had visited Hagrid for a cup of tea.

Harry's mind had been with Tom all day. They had talked, but only briefly. What they needed was physical contact. They had done nothing but talk for over a month now, after all…

Ron and Hermione had decided to take yet another walk, this time to Hogsmead, but Harry had declined. Not only because he wanted to spend time with Tom, but also because he had sensed the underlying tension between them. It seemed as though things were finally moving along with them. He was glad for it. It somehow made him feel less guilty about his secrecy.

When Harry entered the Entrance Hall, the warmth was a sharp contrast to the iciness outside and it made his skin tingle unpleasantly and his fingers grew uncomfortably hot, swelling slightly inside his gloves.

With slightly achy fingers, Harry took them off and brushed snow from his clothes. Even though having cast several warming and drying spells, he still felt cold and clammy from the walk from Hagrid's hut to the castle as well as the snowball fight earlier.

Shaking wetness from the melting snow out of his hair, Harry was about to make his way over to the stairs, when he saw Ginny walk past, obviously deep in thought.

He stilled all movement, waiting to see if she would notice him, but she didn't. Her face was hard and expressionless and her eyes vacant, as if she was completely detached from anything around her.

She looked even paler than the last time he had seen her. Harry felt guilty. He hadn't spoken to her at all lately. Too busy with his own problems.

Not knowing what to say, Harry refrained from greeting her and simply watched her go.

Sighing, he was about to resume his walk, when he suddenly crashed into someone that had obviously appeared in front of him while he had been looking into the other direction.

His seeker reflexes kicked in and he was able to catch the smaller person before they could fall.

Dark eyes blinked up at him and Harry nearly jumped back in surprise.

"Cho!", he said, stunned.

She was the last person he had thought he would meet. They hadn't talked at all since last year's trouble with her traitorous friend and Umbridge, making the situation all the more uncomfortable now.

She smiled at him coyly, not letting go of his arms yet, where she had clutched his robe between her fingers.

"Hey Harry", she said softly.

Harry felt awkward and gently detangled himself from the girl. He didn't want her touching him, it felt too intimate.

She let go, almost reluctantly it seemed, and swept her hair over her shoulder. Snowflakes glistered in it, letting Harry know that she had been outside as well.

"It's really cold outside", Harry offered lamely, "You should be careful not to get a cold or something."

Obviously his hang to say stupid things to the Ravenclaw had not gone away with the knowledge that his imagined crush was only that: an imagination.

As always, Cho didn't seem to mind and smiled brightly at him.

"Thank you, you too.", she answered happily.

Harry decided that it was time to flee and took another step away from her.

"Well, it was nice talking to you again", he said quickly, "But I really need to get going."

Turning around, Harry was about to hurry towards the steps, but Cho called him back.

"Harry, wait", she sounded almost nervous and he could hear her heels clicking on the stone floor as she hurried after him.

Reluctantly, Harry turned back around, finding that the girl was once again standing directly in front of him.

"Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you for some time, but you always seemed so busy and I was never able to find you.", she talked quickly, the words rushing from her mouth, "And now,…well now I have even two things I want to talk to you about."

Harry, who had been frowning slightly, raised an eyebrow. What the hell had gotten into her all of a sudden? She almost sounded…as if…no that wasn't possible…right?

But then again she _did_ kiss him back this once. If that could even be called a kiss…

He shivered inwardly when he though about _real_ kisses, _Tom's_ kisses.

"You know…", Cho went on, fumbling with the rings on her fingers nervously, "I thought that since there's the Christmas Ball coming up…you know maybe you want to go…with me…"

Harry stared at her, his jaw nearly gaping open. Was this a joke?

"You see", she suddenly rushed on, all hesitancy gone, "I thought that since you asked me the last time and I couldn't say yes, because I had already promised Cedric to go with him that maybe this time I could ask you and…"

She shifted on her weight and took a deep breath.

"What I'm actually trying to ask you, is if you could maybe give me another chance?"

Harry nearly choked on his own breath and took a stumbling step backwards, his arms coming up as if to defend himself.

"Wow, Cho, slow down there.", was everything he managed to get out.

The Ravenclaw blushed deeply and looked down.

"I know I kind of ambushed you, but…", she took another deep breath, "It's just that if I hadn't done it now, I wouldn't have done it at all…"

Sighing, Harry ran a hand through his hair, thinking about how best to explain his situation. There was still something about Cho that made Harry want to be nice to her. He had no desire to hurt her. Even though his crush hadn't been real, he did have some kind of affection for her.

"You know this is really…not so good.", Harry said slowly, fumbling for words and avoiding her big dark eyes, "You see…I'm kind of…in a relationship…you know?"

Despite better judgment, Harry looked up and felt guilt rip though him when he saw Cho's eyes glazing over.

"I-I see.", she said, voice choked, "I'm really…I didn't know that…"

"I know.", Harry said softly, feeling helpless.

He looked through his pockets and found a clean handkerchief, handing it to the Ravenclaw, feeling utterly helpless. He had no clue whatsoever when it came to girls. They were just so…difficult… Admittedly he did have some practice from dealing with Hermione over all these years, but still, this was an entire different situation.

Cho took it, trying to smile but failed.

"Thank you.", she hiccupped, "I really am sorry…I feel like an idiot…"

Taking pity on her, Harry took a step closer and awkwardly placed a hand on her shoulder.

Instead of calming her with the touch, Cho began to shake even more and suddenly, before he could even blink, she had thrown herself into his arms and was sobbing quietly into his robe.

Harry was stunned for a moment, but then awkwardly wrapped an arm around her shoulder, his other hand patting her gently, not knowing what else to do.

"Hey, it's okay.", he said lamely, thinking hard about what he could say to make her feel better, "You know, maybe we can go to the ball as friends."

The sobs calmed slightly and Cho drew back a bit, dabbing at her eyes and looking suddenly hopeful.

"Really?", she said, "And your girlfriend wouldn't mind?"

Harry cringed inwardly. When he thought about it, he wasn't too sure if Tom would mind or not…But then again, why should he. They were going as friends. And it wasn't as if Cho was some kind of competition for him. That was downright ridiculous.

"Don't worry about that.", he said, patting her some more.

Throwing her arms around him once more, Cho smiled once again, this time genuine. Before he even new what was happening, she had pressed a wet kiss to his lips.

Too surprised to push her away, Harry's eyes widened. It was only a quick kiss, but still… He regretted having agreed to go to the ball with her already.

"Thank you, Harry, you are the best!", she gushed enthusiastically, "I have so much to think about now! What am I going to wear?"

"I'm sure you'll find something.", Harry said, annoyed at himself for having agreed to this.

Why couldn't he say 'no'? Why?

_/T/'H'_

As soon as Harry entered his room, he knew that Tom had listened to his conversation with Cho.

He was sitting in his customary armchair, but is eyes were trained on him as soon as he opened the door, his book closed on the coffee table.

Harry slowly closed the door behind him and took a careful step into the Slytherin's direction, his feet sinking into the soft carpet.

There was no point in beating about the bush and Harry felt once more like a mouse cornered by the snake.

Tom's face was unreadable and that was probably what bothered Harry most. He could feel the distance between them, such a sharp contrast to last night.

It was frustrating that everytime they took one step forward, they also took two steps back directly afterwards. There was still too much between tem, too much uncertainty, too many unsaid things…and that hurt. It hurt that after all this time and all the fighting to keep together, it still seemed that sometimes they just couldn't understand each other.

"Tom…", he began, but trailed off, not really knowing what to say.

There was so much he wanted to say. On one side he wanted to apologize and explain his reasons, on the other he was feeling angry that Tom didn't trust him, didn't understand him…

The other boy got up, and slowly made his way over to where Harry was standing. Harry had gotten so used to seeing him in only shirt and trousers, that the robe looked unfamiliar and maybe even a bit threatening.

He looked like the Tom that had betrayed him. He had to look away.

"So you got yourself a date for the ball.", he drawled, "Do you want me to congratulate you?"

Harry's eyes snapped up. Despite knowing a comment like this would come, it still didn't fail to edge him on. The Slytherin always knew exactly where to strike. It was almost frightening.

Taking a deep breath, he swallowed his anger. He knew how insecure the other boy actually was. Hitting him with hurtful words would only hurt them both in the process.

"Tom please, you know she means nothing to me.", Harry said gently, stepping closer and reaching out to touch the other boy.

To his greatest surprise, Tom let him. His skin was cool, but warming quickly under his touch and he slid his hand over a soft cheek and into his hair. When Tom only closed his eyes briefly, he carefully slipped the other arm around his waist and leaned against him, feeling the other boy's heartbeat against his ear.

Tom's hands were cold when they moved over his face, titled his head up and brushed a thumb over his lips, making them tingle.

"Don't you care how it makes me feel?", Tom said softy, but the words felt like a slap to his face.

Eyes wide, Harry's grip on the Slytherin tightened, almost too much, and he unconsciously pressed closer.

"What the hell are you talking about? Of course it does!", he protested fiercely, "But it's not as if we could have gone together…"

Even though knowing it was the truth, the words had obviously stung Tom. His unmoving mask was cracking slightly and Harry could see the vulnerability in his eyes now could feel some of the hurt seeping through.

Why couldn't he ever find the right words to say?

Harry used his grip on the taller boy to draw his face close to his own, kissing the bridge of his nose gently, before resting their foreheads together.

"I love you.", Harry whispered, "Only you. And I always will. I just took pity on her, nothing more. We will go to this stupid ball together and you will be with me every step of it. It will be a nice way to brush the rest of all suspicions my friends may still have aside and I will leave early."

Tom sighed, his hands now as warm as his breath as they slipped beneath Harry's robe and shirt, drawing him closer still and closing his eyes.

Harry could feel him unconsciously testing how much of his ribs and vertebrae was still showing too much and it warmed him to know that Tom worried so much. Titling his head slightly, he brushed another kiss to his face and nuzzled him softly.

He could feel Tom relaxing under his caresses and the thin wall between them turned to dust, brushed away by his gentle coaxing. Harry was able to detect resentment and jealousy, but no real anger or pain.

"Alright.", he said finally, opening his eyes and pulling back slightly in order to look deeply into Harry's eyes, "But if she comes too close to you again, or pulls a stunt like earlier, I'm going to fucking kill her."

Instead of replying verbally, Harry simply closed the distance between them, letting their lips meet in a gentle kiss.

Tom's mouth was soft and pliant under his and Harry sighed as the tension of the day finally seeped out of him.

He didn't have to question the seriousness of Tom's threat. He knew he wasn't joking, but when the taller boy let his hands roam over his bare back and nipped on his lower lip gently, Harry couldn't get himself to worry…

_/T/'H'_

Their lips were sliding together wetly. Harry had parted his, their breath mingling, but the invitation was never taken and although it was frustrating, it was enough for now.

He had needed Tom's lips so bad that he didn't care how he got them.

Gripping the other boy's hair gently, Harry tried to press their mouths even closer together, to get their bodies to touch. He wanted for Tom to rest his weight on him, wanted to feel every inch of him pressing him into the mattress beneath, but Tom never relented. He was in control and it drove Harry crazy how collected he seemed to be.

Not caring anything about borders any longer, Harry caught the Slytherin's bottom lip between his own and sucked it into his mouth. He knew Tom loved this.

As predicted, Tom hadn't expected the move and a low moan vibrated against Harry's mouth, making him feel smug.

Control, my ass.

In one fluid motion he had the taller boy beneath him. He had obviously learned from the master.

Without giving either of them time to think, Harry simply pressed his body down on Tom's, grinding their hips together in the process.

Tom's mouth opened as his lip was released and Harry drank in the sharp gasp that escaped the other boy, his head thrown back and eyes closed.

"Harry…"

"No, Tom, we need this, _I_ need this", Harry whispered harshly, sucking on the spot under Tom's ear that made him shiver and writhe beneath him, "If I don't come now, if I don't feel you come I'm going to burst into flames, I'm going to _die_."

Tom didn't answer, maybe because he didn't have enough breath, or maybe even because he couldn't form coherent thoughts. He simply arched his back slightly as Harry ground into him almost roughly.

Moving his mouth back to Tom's, Harry let the tip of his tongue lap at them gently, then more boldly.

"Let me in…", he breathed and they both knew that he wasn't only talking about kissing.

Tom's eyes opened slowly. They were heavy lidded and darker than Harry could ever remember seeing them.

For a moment they simply looked deeply into each other's eyes. Then instead of flipping them back over, what Harry had expected Tom would do, the other boy simply spread his legs a bit, accommodating the smaller boy against him in a better angle.

Harry could feel himself shaking with desire. It was all the invitation he needed to sweep down and capture Tom's lips in a passionate kiss.

The new position allowed for their groins to meet in the most perfect way and Tom's lips parted on a moan, finally letting Harry's tongue into his mouth as pleasure stabbed through him like a hot knife.

Their tongues met messily, roughly and it was almost enough to make Harry come on this alone.

When he thought it couldn't get any better and also that he probably would faint soon because of the dizzy lack of oxygen, Tom's mind opened to him and their mental selves molded together like their tongues were doing inside their mouths.

Harry wasn't able to think anymore, wasn't able to say where Tom began and he himself ended, but maybe that was just futile, because in this moment they were actually one…

There was nothing slow or sweet about their encounter. It was too rough, too messy and frantic, their grips on each other too tight and their need too great.

It left their fingers aching, their lips stinging and their lungs screaming, but it was hot, so hot and so _good_, because it was them and it had been too long and Tom was surrendering to him completely, gripping onto him trying to get him closer and being absolutely _desperate_ for his touch…

They were moaning and Harry had no idea who the raw sounds belonged to, but he didn't care, everything was so hot, too hot, there were too many clothes between them, but he was too close, far too close to care that they were sticking slickly to his skin and making his hair drip with wetness, but Tom's hair was wet too as he sunk his fingers into it deeply, gripping too tightly and biting his neck too harshly…

But Tom didn't care, he was trembling and gripping and moving against him just as desperately, just as far gone and everything else just faded because Harry could feel how close they were, so close, so close and yes, Tom, yes and everything was searingly hot and far too bright but so good, because they were together and their lips were sealed together and it was just _perfect…_

_/T/'H'_

Harry had no idea how long they lay together in silence like this, wet and sticky all over and too hot with all their clothes still on, but he just couldn't seem to get his body to move.

He wasn't even sure if he hadn't blacked out for some time or if the blank in his memory had something to do with the fuzziness of his mind.

The first to move was Tom. If the slight shifting of his arms around him could be called a move. Harry inched his face closer into the taller boy's neck and kissed him there, before becoming as boneless as before.

Tom's head turned slightly and he nuzzled the side of his face, one of his hands moving into his damp hair to caress it gently.

"You know, I haven't given you your Christmas present yet.", was the first thing Harry said, his brain still scattered all over the place and his voice hoarse.

Tom's arms tightened a bit more and he chuckled deep in his chest. Harry could feel it more than he heard it.

"What? That wasn't it?", the Slytherin teased, his other hand now caressing Harry's bare back.

Somewhere Harry found the strength to hit Tom's thigh lightly, feeling his own lips stretching into a grin.

They fell silent again, simply too exhausted to do anything more than caressing each other sleepily.

Suddenly a thought occurred to Harry and he raised his head, searching for Tom's gaze.

The other boy opened his eyes slowly as he felt Harry's on him. One hand still in the Gryffindor's unruly hair, he let it trail down to cup the side of his face.

Harry shifted and placed his own over Tom's, looking at him seriously.

"You do know that this wasn't…I mean I wanted to and I don't regret it.", Harry said softly.

Tom's fingers curled under his and the grip tightened as he drew the smaller boy's head closer to kiss him gently.

"Me neither.", he said, so close that their lips were brushing as he spoke.

Feeling the familiar warm feeling inside, Harry leaned in quickly to keep Tom from seeing his overly shiny eyes, kissing him again, this time more deeply.

Drawing back gently, Harry smiled.

"God, we need a shower.", he chuckled, brushing hair form Tom's forehead.

The other boy groaned, closing his eyes and sinking further back into the mattress.

"How the hell can you even think about moving?"

Laughing, Harry scrambled into a somewhat upright position, grabbing Tom's hands and tugging on them to help the other boy do the same.

Tom complied reluctantly and more stumbling than walking, they made their way into the bathroom.

The shower was hot and relaxing. It had been a relief to finally get out of his damn clothes and it was even more of a pleasure because they undressed each other.

The atmosphere remained unnaturally light and Harry was in a better mood than he could remember being in a long time. They fooled around a bit, splashing with water and laughing a lot. It was quite a shock to discover that Tom actually could be quite playful if he wanted to.

When they had spent more water than would have been necessary and had exhausted themselves even further, Harry decided that it was finally the right time to give Tom his present.

His gut felt a bit tight, but he tried to suppress his feeling of uncertainty and simply made Tom sit down on the bed while he went over to the dresser and rummaged through it. He finally found what he had been looking for somewhere on the bottom and managed to make a mess without even trying.

When he returned to the bed and handed Tom the parcel, he was almost sheepish. Sitting beside the taller boy on the bed, he looked at his hands intently while Tom gently opened the present, obviously trying not to rip the paper. Harry found that awfully endearing and felt his lips lift into an involuntary smile.

When Tom finally got rid of all the paper and held the pullover in his hands, the look on his face was suddenly unreadable. He was staring at it, his fingers unconsciously gripping the fine fabric a bit too tightly.

"I really had no idea what you'd like…", Harry said slowly, worriedly, "If you don't like it I'm sure that we-"

"No!", it was sudden, almost an outburst and Harry jumped slightly in surprise.

Tom swallowed, holding onto the pullover even tighter.

"It's not…", his voice trailed off and he swallowed again.

Harry hesitantly reached out to touch him, running a hand through his soft, still damp hair.

"Harry I-", Tom's throat was obviously forcing himself to speak and it made Harry's heart clench, "I really love it…thank you…I mean no one ever…"

And finally Harry understood the reaction. It wasn't about what the present was, it was about it being a present at all. When he thought back to his eleventh birthday he thought that he must have looked like Tom did now, when he got a present for the first time in his life. A real one. And it didn't matter than that it was just a rumpled cake with crooked letters and candles. At this moment it had been the greatest thing Harry had ever seen…

Harry's hand sank deeper into the soft tresses as he shifted and threw one of his legs over Tom's thighs, moving to sit in his lap.

"It's okay.", he said gently, looking into Tom's unusually bright eyes, "I know."

No more words were needed. Tom knew Harry had understood and Harry knew that he had managed to make Tom happy. And that was all he had ever wanted.

He helped the Slytherin to put the new pullover on and had to think about Evan. He really had managed to get the colour exactly right. Tom looked good enough to eat, the green of his eyes matching the green of the pullover perfectly.

Not being able to resist, Harry leaned forward to capture Tom's lips again. It seemed that since they had finally taken this step, Harry wasn't able to go one second without Tom's lips on his own.

The craving was even greater than before and seemed to grow with everytime their mouths connected. It was so much more than before. Before Tom's betrayal, before he had opened up…

Now it wasn't simply a physical act of showing affection, or making them feel good. It was about so much deeper things. About connecting in every way they could, being as close as possible, losing themselves in each other…

If Harry had had any doubts about waiting for over a month for this, they had been definitely been blown away now. It had been the right decision and had strengthened their relationship in a way that nothing else could have.

Maybe this was the final sign that after this, they could manage everything else that would be thrown their way as well …

_/T/'H'_

The room was already drenched in darkness, every candle had been extinguished and everything that had been left of the fire in the fireplace were a few dying embers.

Nevertheless, Harry was anything but cold, snuggled closely together with Tom under several blankets. It was almost frightening how cold this winter seemed to be and that there was no sign of it actually getting any warmer. Anything but that, really. The temperature seemed to drop even lower than it already had. Harry wondered if it would soon be too cold to even go outside…

Despite the comfortable warmness under the blanket and Tom's protective arms around him, sleep just wouldn't come.

There was so much on his mind it made him dizzy. His thoughts seemed to jump from one thing to the next so quickly that even he himself had problems following them.

He was just thinking about Sirius, when a sudden soft tapping noise snapped him from his musings.

Looking over to one of the big windows, Harry could see Hedwig hovering outside, wings flapping wildly against the harsh wind.

As quickly as he could, without waking Tom, he scrambled from the bed and hurried to let her in.

The icy air hit him in the face like a slap and Harry closed the window as soon as his owl was inside.

Hedwig was cold and wet as she practically flew into his arms, shivering uncharacteristically.

"Poor girl", Harry whispered to her, patting her gently, "But don't worry, I'm not sending you anywhere. Just stay here and get some sleep, okay?"

Hedwig hooted softy and held still as Harry relieved her off the letter she had been carrying, before flying over to the fireplace and searching for a place to sleep.

Frowning, Harry turned the letter over in his hands, his feet numb from the icy coldness of the stone beneath him.

Taking a step to the right, Harry stepped onto the carpet and felt them sinking into it as he reached for his glasses and turned the letter in the direction of the window.

There was just enough light from the moon to somehow make out the few words written on the parchment:

_H,_

_He agreed. Tomorrow afternoon, 5 o'clock, office._

_D_

So it would finally begin.

And like this, standing alone in the middle of the room, Harry shivered, his hand clutching the parchment so tightly that it crumbled in his fist.


	31. Chapter 31

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hey all my lovely people! i'm really sorry for the long wait, but school is utter horror at the moment... i'm moving the plot along and it thickens more and more, as i promised after all the christmasy stuff :). in the hopes of not boring you, i cut the scene at the ball and wrote a more compact version of it, but i hope you like the way it turned out. furthermore i wanted to stress again that most of the facts in this story are based on my imagination and as always if you have questions, ask away!

okay, now to my reviewers. ILOVE YOU, but you already know that :). pls keep it up all of you! pls forgive me if i'm not answering everyone of you personally, again if you'd like that let me know!

_** amber:** thank you for the quote, it's beautiful. i really do hope you aren't getting bored with this story_

_** RikkuAlaise: **i'm very very glad you like it! what story are you writing? as to me sticking to a story, well i don't know how long you've been writing, but i know that in the beginning i had a really hard time finishing stories (if i did at all that is :) ). but with time it'll get better, you see. it also helps if someone reads it and gives you feedback (not nessecarily a beta). i knoe that i need that and that revies for me are also very important. if you need any help and think that maybe i can help, feel free to ask :). until then i wish you luck and pls keep reviewing )!_

_** Alichay: **thank you so much! i was so flattered by your comment about my english! i'm really glad you like IyM! and i also wanted to thank you for telling other people about my story, i really appriciate that :)!_

now i really have to go, sorry for any typos! see ya soon (hopefully!)

enjoy!

* * *

Harry risked a careful glance to the side, studying Tom's profile. His usually not so thin lips were drawn into a tight line and the frown from the last hour or so was still in place.

His narrowed eyes were fixed onto anything but him and Harry suppressed the urge to sigh with the knowledge that the other boy was even too angry to _look_ at him.

They hadn't talked since their argument and somehow Harry couldn't seem to get rid of the guilty feeling nagging at his insides.

A movement out of the corner of his eyes made the Gryffindor's attention falter and he reluctantly turned it back to the other two persons in the room.

Draco was ignoring Tom's presence as best as possible as he glanced from his godfather to Harry and back again.

Shifting in his seat, Harry held Snape's dark gaze as his professor studied him silently over his big oak desk, one of his long fingers rubbing over his bottom lip thoughtfully.

"Draco has informed me about your…situation, Potter. He told me that you needed my help to bring back Black, but also want for me to keep silent about the fact that you have an affair with Dark Lord Junior here.", the potions master said smoothly, "Is that correct?"

Harry glared at him, needing his help or not, he knew the damn bastard. He was trying to get a rise out of him on purpose. As much as their relationship had turned to the better after Snape had warned him and taken him in after the battle, sometimes the man liked to remember the good old times, as they say.

"He is _not_ Voldemort.", Harry bit out, instinctively defending Tom.

Snape held up a hand.

"Please spare me, Potter.", he said, his lip curling, "Draco has told me everything I need to know. I'm not inclined to be dragged into your…romantic relationship in any way. Riddle is your responsibility. Mine is to see that you don't throw yourself head long into disaster and lead all of you to your goal as quickly as possible."

Harry clenched his fists, wishing more than ever that Tom and he were alright.

But Harry should have known from the start. He should have been more honest and aware of the fact that because Draco was involved in all of this, it was ten times more likely to upset Tom.

As soon as Harry had uttered the words 'Draco and I', everything was already lost. Tom had become cold and scathing and, as much as Harry loved him, an utter asshole about the whole situation.

Jealousy was making him blind to the rational part of the plan and deaf to anything that Harry tried to tell him.

They had fought, rather fiercely, and it had ended like all the other times they had clashed.

Tom had been hurtful on purpose, sending calm but cutting sarcastic remarks his way, hitting all the buttons needed to make Harry lose his cool and shout something he regretted as soon as he had said it…

_/T/'H'/T/'H'_

_Tom's eyes were flashing in anger, his pose tense. There were several feet between them and Harry could feel how charged the air was._

_He didn't know how it had even come this far. The fight had developed so quickly, despite Harry never having the slighted intention of starting one. But probably this time it had been Tom that had provoked it._

"_You what? Are you out of your mind?"_

_Harry took a calming breath. They would not get into this._

"_Tom…just listen to me, okay? Draco and I talked it through and-"_

"_Oh, so you 'talked it through' with 'Draco', how lovely.", the Slytherin scoffed, "And here I thought I was your partner and we were honest with each other. My mistake."_

"_We are", Harry protested firmly, trying not to be thrown off track, "But Draco did have a poi-"_

"_This isn't about Malfoy, Harry!", Tom interrupted him harshly, "It's about us! It's about the fact that you didn't even spare one thought about me or that it concerns both of us! It's about us making decisions together!"_

"_How dare you tell me I'm not thinking about you?! There's been nothing else on my mind since you came into my life! My whole fucking world revolves around you! I never left your side!", his voice had risen and his hands had tightened into fists._

_Tom looked like a caged animal as he moved in one direction or the other, before whirling around to glare at Harry after the last statement._

"_Oh no, not this again!", Tom snapped, "You told me you'd forgiven me, yet you always bring it up! Malfoy hid things from you as well, how come you never fight with him?"_

_The well little well known string in Harry finally snapped and words were flowing out of his mouth before he could even think about what he was actually saying._

"_Because he never betrayed me like you did. He never hurt me like you! He was always there for me! Always!", for a moment there was silence as the word still hung in the air between them._

_Suddenly Tom drew himself up even straighter, his face expressionless, but green eyes still flashing in heated anger._

"_Then why don't you fucking go and be with him then, if he's so much better than me?!", he hissed, before simply turning around and vanishing on the spot._

_Harry was left standing in the middle of the room and staring at the place where Tom had still stood only moment before. He absolutely hated it when the Slytherin did this._

_/T/'H'/T/'H'_

Harry was so deep in thought that he nearly missed it when Snape told them how to schedule their meetings and Draco, Snape and himself exchanged schedules as t know when they had breaks in between classes and where to find each other if necessary.

Tom had been silent this whole time and was still not looking at him.

_/T/'H'_

Relieved Harry leaned against the icy wall behind him. The soft breeze was cold and cutting and the contact with the stone made him feel as if the blood was turning to ice in his veins, but at the same time it felt so very good.

He felt as if it was the first time in hours that he could breathe again.

Looking over the landscape, Harry discovered it to be a very nice view. Somehow he never noticed how much of the Hogwarts grounds one was able to see from this particular balcony.

There wasn't much to see now, of course, because the only light came from the brightly lit castle. Music and laughter were loud enough to filter through the closed balcony doors and Harry turned his head away from it.

It would be another week before the moon would be full again, but the stars seemed to shine all the brighter, mirrored in the lake. He could even make out the shadowy lines of the Whomping Willow and Hagrid's hut, for once dark because it's owner was inside the castle with the rest of the laughing and dancing people.

Harry still didn't know how he had actually managed to escape Cho's clutches, but when she had said she had to go to the bathroom, he had acted on instinct, without thinking even another minute. It was, after all, what he was known for most.

He wasn't particularly proud of this maneuver, but somehow when he compared this near quietness with the near madness of slightly drunk and overly enthusiastic and wild students that stumbled against and with each other on the dance floor, he couldn't seem to find it in him to regret his cowardly behavior.

When the laughter seemed to die down a bit and even the voices quietened somewhat, Harry frowned and leaned forward slightly in order to glance back through the slightly frosted glass of the balcony door.

_You're in my arms_

_And all the world is calm_

_The music playing on for only two_

The band had changed it's previous fast disco song to a much slower ballad and all over the hall couples began to wrap around each other and fall into the different rhythm and instead of jumping around they now swayed together.

_So close together_

_And when I'm with you_

_So close to feeling alive_

Somehow seeing this made Harry feel slightly sick and despite all of the fresh air around him he found it suddenly hard to breathe.

Leaning back again quickly, he once more turned his head away from the hall. It was not as if he would have liked to dance anyway. He hated dancing. Had hated it from the moment he had his first dancing class in fourth year.

"Can I have this dance?"

_A life goes by _

_Romantic dreams will stop_

_So I bid mine goodbye and never knew_

Harry's head snapped back into its previous position so quickly, that he was surprised that he didn't pull a muscle.

His eyes, wide with surprise, met the only other pair that he knew to have the same intense green colour as his own.

_So close was waiting, waiting here with you_

_And now forever I know_

_All that I wanted to hold you_

"Tom…", he breathed before even realizing what the other boy had actually said.

_So close_

Not knowing why, his cheeks suddenly felt slightly hotter, making his cold cheeks tingle at the unexpected warmth. It seemed that it was only now that he realized how cold he actually was.

Tom was standing half a foot away, his hand stretched out to him, ready for him to grasp. He was wearing his usual school robes, but underneath Harry could see that he also wore the green pullover he had given him for Christmas.

_So close to reaching that famous happy end_

_Almost believing this was not pretend_

"I don't really…", Harry trailed off, not actually knowing what it was he wanted to say.

Tom's lips quirked into a small smile, his eyes softening.

"With dancing what matters most is neither the music nor the talent", he said slowly, softly, "it's the partner."

They stared into each other's eyes for another moment, before Harry finally took the still extended hand. For the first time ever, Tom's hand was warmer than his and it gave Harry a strange feeling.

_And now you're beside me and look how far we've come_

_So far we are so close _

Tom's fingers closed around his own in a firm but gentle grip with which the Slytherin drew him close to his body.

Shivering slightly, Harry leaned into the other boy's taller form, feeling the warmth slowly seeping back into his skin as Tom wrapped his arms round him tightly.

Almost without realizing it, they began to slowly sway to the soft music that could be heard from inside.

As Harry buried deeper into Tom's warmth, pressing his cold face into the other boy's neck and feeling him doing the same, he realized that Tom had been right. This was not about stepping on each other's toes or not. It was about closeness and the feeling of belonging.

_How could I face the faceless days_

_If I should lose you now?_

"Does that mean you forgive me?", Harry whispered softly.

_We're so close_

_To reaching that famous happy end_

_And almost believing this was not pretend_

"Of course I do.", was the soft response close to his ear, "I couldn't stay mad at you even if I wanted."

_Let's go on dreaming for we know we are_

"Good.", Harry closed his eyes in relieve and pressed even closer, "Then it makes two of us."

_So close _

_So close_

_And still so far_

_/T/'H'_

"Fuck, we are going nowhere!", Draco said angrily, throwing the book in his hands onto the nearby coffee table.

Snape glanced at his godson, his brow furrowed in displeasure at probably both his wording and display of his lack of control.

"Would you kindly refrain from ruining my collection of ancient books, Draco", he said darkly, "I'm afraid that some of them wouldn't even be able to be replaced from Malfoy Manor's library."

Draco rolled his eyes and stood, beginning to pace up and down on the only carpet in Snape's office.

Harry looked over at Tom, who sat beside him on the couch and was looking into Draco's direction, disdain clear in his eyes.

"All we found were things we knew already!", Draco said impatiently, "That the veil is the outcome of an experiment done by Slytherin and Gryffindor and that it's no portal and therefore can be moved."

"And you think that by acting like an immature child we are going to gain more information?", Tom scoffed, closing his own book that had been resting in his lap.

"Shut up, Riddle!", Draco snapped, "Instead of being a help, you are just as fucking clueless as anyone of us! Where is your great knowledge now?"

Tom's eyes narrowed and Harry sighed. Out of the corner of is eyes he could see Snape rubbing the bridge of his nose and for once in his life Harry understood how the man was feeling.

It had been nearly two weeks since they had started research as a group and since then they hadn't been able to gain even one bit information that they hadn't already known.

It seemed that the veil was something the wizarding world simply liked to ignore. It was nothing knew to Harry. This method was very common with humans. They always liked to ignore things they were afraid of, as if by pretending they didn't exist they could actually make them disappear.

The New Year had come and went, but had brought no more revelations than the old one. Snape and Harry himself had managed to somehow avoid any bigger disputes, which couldn't be said for Tom and Draco.

The Slytherins hated each other as much as ever, if not more since they were forced to work so closely together.

Harry knew that Draco had been trying very hard not to set Tom off, for a time even gone as far as to stay quiet when provoked, but Tom didn't seem to share any of Draco's noble feelings.

He was more aggressive and cutting than Harry could ever remember him being and nothing he said could keep him from refraining to attack Draco. They regularly involved themselves in childish arguments that wore both Snape's and his own nerves raw.

Quickly placing a hand on Tom's arm, Harry jumped in before he could say anything.

"I think it's enough for today.", he said, "It's nearly midnight and all of us are tired."

"As much as I regret doing this, I have to agree with Potter.", Snape said, sounding tired, "It's a school night and I doubt that we will be able to find anything more tonight."

Biding them goodnight, Harry was able to drag Tom from the room before either he or Draco could jump at each other's throats once more.

They didn't speak as they made their way through the dark, cold dungeons and Harry didn't know if he should be relieved or worried.

Wrapping his arms around himself, Harry shivered. The weather had stayed exactly the same, meaning it was still snowing and colder than Harry ever remembered. All of the teachers were involved in keeping the snow from simply burying the castle and Hagrid's hut and trips to Hogsmead were cut to a minimum.

The hospital wing was ever full these days and Harry was glad to have escaped any sort of cold until now. Of course the fact that he was always buried in some book and never even saw much of daylight because he had spent most of his time in the dungeons did seem to prevent him from falling ill.

Suddenly Harry was torn from his thoughts when Tom wrapped one of his arms around him, drawing him close to his side without their steps faltering.

Harry didn't say anything, simply returned the gesture and leaned his head on Tom's shoulder. There was no point in saying anything and the last thing Harry wanted was to start a fight with him after a long, tiring and not to forget, utterly _frustrating_ day.

Fortunately even Mrs Norris was too cold to roam the corridors and so they encountered no one and reached their room unnoticed.

Harry was already dead on his feet. Between rushing from classes to Snape's office and worrying about Sirius, there was not much time to rest. He had never felt more stressed out, not even earlier this year when he had still trained the DA and gone to Quidditch practice, which was both not an option at the moment. Quidditch was cancelled, of course, because of the weather and the DA mostly because Harry simply had no time, but also because most of the members were sick.

Tom was quiet most of the time and only seemed to be active when he let go of his frustration by fighting with Draco. This whole situation was obviously wearing him down more than Harry had thought it would and instead of being able to concentrate on making their relationship work, they hardly ever talked and spent most of their time alone together curled up asleep in bed.

Harry felt once again as if fate had farted him in his face and wondered when there would actually be a time where he could do something for himself and in turn felt guilty for being so egoistical because this was about bringing Sirius back.

_/T/'H'_

When they finally crawled into bed, Harry's thoughts had turned from Sirius back to Tom. He just couldn't help the feeling that something was bothering him.

Since their argument things had been a little strained and Harry wasn't sure if it was all because of their current situation. Maybe Tom hadn't really forgiven him fully for keeping something from him. From sharing a secret with Draco, no less, just after things had been going so well…

Why was it always one step forward and two back?

Shifting against the taller boy, Harry suppressed a sigh. He had thought they were past all this silence shit.

"Why did you do it?"

Tom's voice was quiet, but unreadable. The question was so sudden, that Harry needed a moment to even register that the Slytherin had spoken to him at all.

Turning onto his stomach, Harry frowned and shifted partly upwards, looking at the dark contours of Tom's face.

"Did what?", Harry asked confusedly, trying to sort through his thoughts that had been so far away moments before.

"Kissed him."

Dread filled Harry and a familiar sick feeling started to build in his stomach as he swallowed the sudden foul taste in his mouth down his dry throat.

"What are you talking about, Tom?", he honestly had no idea where this was going or what Tom actually wanted to know.

Harry saw Tom turning his head and felt his eyes boring into his own. They weren't touching anymore and it made Harry feel even more alarmed.

"Malfoy."

Of course, he should have known.

Rubbing over his face, Harry didn't know if he liked having this conversation in the dark. What he definitely didn't like was for them having it in bed together.

"Is this what's been bothering you the last two weeks?", Harry asked quietly, "This one time I kissed Draco?"

It was slightly unsettling that he wasn't able to see Tom's face as he waited for the other boy's answer.

"Just answer my question, Harry.", the reply came quicker than he would have thought.

"I was hurt and I missed you", Harry said quietly, trying to remain focused and not become too emotional, "I just wanted to forget. It didn't mean anything. I was thinking about you the whole time."

"Did it help?"

Harry stared intently through the darkness at Tom, remembering the exact time he had asked him the very same question. It had been the first time they had talked freely after Tom's betrayal.

"No", it was almost strange how their rolls seemed to be reversed now.

The small word hung between them for a long time. The silence after it was stifling and Harry shifted his weight only to cut through it by rustling with the sheets.

When Tom finally talked again, it was almost quieter than before.

"You know, before I met you sex wasn't anything to me. I didn't believe in love, I only believed in fucking. And of that I did plenty, believe me.", his voice was soft in contrast to his hard words, and Harry wasn't sure if he liked what he was hearing, "But now there's just you. I won't even look at anyone else and I would have never believed that I would actually be able to be patient for so long."

Harry didn't know if he should be relieved or uncomfortable that their conversation had turned to the two of them instead of Draco and him.

Being silent for a while, the Gryffindor thought carefully what he could say. Finally he decided on something he had wanted to know for quite some time.

"Does it…bother you?", Harry asked slowly, hesitantly, "That we haven't slept together yet?"

For the first time since they had started this conversation Tom reached out to touch him. Harry willingly leaned into the other boy's hand as he cupped his cheek in his palm.

It was as if a weight had been lifted from his chest when their skin made contact. He simply loved it when Tom touched him. It meant so much, it was every reassurance Harry needed.

"No, of course not.", he said gently, drawing him close in order to place a gentle kiss on his lips and lean their foreheads together, "I can wait. I'll wait as long as you need."

"Do you want to?", Harry asked, feeling his cheeks heating under Tom's hands and knew that the other boy could feel it along with the slight hitch in his breathing, "Do really want me?"

Hot air hit Harry's own face as Tom exhaled and pressed their foreheads closer together.

"You already know I do. Badly.", Tom's hands slid into his hair, caressing the nape of his neck, "Do _you_ want to?"

Harry felt his chest tightening and his breathing quicken slightly. He unconsciously tightened his hold on Tom's clothes, his right hand feeling the Slytherin's steady heartbeat.

"Y-Yes…very much.", it was only a breath, but nevertheless his cheeks heated even further, "But I'm really nervous…I like taking things slow…but I wouldn't mind doing something like we did before…"

Harry knew he was rambling and forced himself to shut up before he could say some even more stupid things.

"You mean when I tasted you?", Tom's voice was only a heated whisper against his skin before the other boy turned his head slightly and pressed his lips to the sensitive spot under his ear, "When I put my mouth on you…and sucked you…and made you come?"

Harry shuddered, pressing closer, holding on tighter as heat build in the pit of his stomach and the familiar burning sensation turned the blood to fire in his veins. Every one of his nerve endings was tingling and there was nothing he craved more than for being as close to Tom as possible.

"Yes", he breathed out, his own hands sliding from the Slytherin's clothes into his hair, under his shirt, running over bare skin.

"Or when I was so jealous, when I wanted to possess you and wanted to make you forget anything but me…", Tom continued, his voice so smooth and dripping with sexuality, "When I had my fingers inside you…and all you wanted was more…and more?"

"Yes", Harry moaned, arching his back, feeling Tom's hands on his skin as they ran down his sides, stopping at the waistband of his pyjamas.

Harry tore on Tom's shirt impatiently, hearing several buttons coming loose and springing into different directions.

"Off", Harry gasped, "I want your naked skin on mine, please Tom…there are always so many clothes between us…I don't want anything between us…"

Their lips met in a fierce kiss and wouldn't even part as they fought with their clothes, pushing everything in they way roughly off and throwing them somewhere unseen.

When their naked skin finally met, it drew moans from both of them, muffled between their still battling tongues and hungry lips.

"What do you want, Harry?", Tom's voice was rough with desire and made Harry even hotter, if that was even possible, "Tell me what you want…"

He felt the usual feeling of embarrassment, knowing that if he wouldn't be this flushed already, his cheeks would be burning. He knew that the other boy liked to hear him say what he wanted. Maybe it was because he knew how inexperienced he was and it turned him on how embarrassed Harry could still be, after all the things Tom had done to him already, or was currently doing to him.

Tom sucked on his pulse point, before going lower, licking every inch of skin he could reach before kissing one of his nipples gently.

"Tell me, Harry."

"I want your mouth on me.", Harry whispered, feeling his cheeks burning more than ever.

Tom shuddered at his response and decided to show mercy, because with a last parting lick he let his lips wander further south, stopping long enough to dip his tongue into Harry's bellybutton, which made the smaller boy arch and moan softly.

Harry couldn't grasp even one coherent thought. His head was thrown back, pressing into the pillows as he felt Tom's lips travel even lower. He could already feel the light sheen of sweat that had formed on his body and even the air he was breathing felt hot.

Without another warning, the Slytherin enfulged his cock with his hot, wet mouth, taking him in all the way in, in one smooth movement. Almost without realizing it, Harry's hands sought out Tom's silky hair to bury themselves in the soft mass as his whole body trembled and a deep moan was ripped from his throat.

Tom's hands were soft and soothing as they caressed his hips while he drew back slightly, dragging his tongue over the underside of his cock, directly across the throbbing vein.

Cool breath hit his wet skin and Harry shuddered again, before his quiet gasp turned into a moan when he felt the other boy's hot mouth enclosing him once again, taking him in deeply.

Harry's hold on Tom's hair tightened unconsciously as his hips sought to thrust upwards to get even closer. He wasn't sure if he was actually even moaning anymore, or if the intense, almost suffocating pleasure had made him unable to even utter a sound. And even if he would have, he probably wouldn't have heard it through the loud sound of his blood rushing in his ears.

If possible, Tom's mouth felt even hotter, his tongue moulding itself into all the right places and his soft touches making his overheated skin tingle.

When he thought he couldn't take it anymore, he felt Tom's right hand sliding further down, brushing the sensitive spot behind his balls before bypassing it and sliding his fingers gently over his entrance.

Harry jumped at the unfamiliar touch, then felt his throat straining from the moan he uttered, felt it vibrating through his chest as his body lost all the control it had left, trembling and wet, the sheets sticking to his skin as his back arched.

This time Tom was gentler with his ministrations, the finger entering him did it slowly and he distracted him by flicking his tongue over the tip of his cock, making Harry pressing his eyes so tightly together that he wasn't sure if the stars he saw were from the sensations he was experiencing or the force in which he pressed his lids together.

When Harry could somehow scramble enough of his brain together again, one of Tom's slick fingers was already inside him. He felt full and slightly strange, but at the same time he craved more and couldn't help from pushing back against it, feeling it moving even deeper.

He was shuddering and aching to feel the exploding pleasure he knew would come if the finger would move just a little deeper, press just a little upwards…

"Tom…", he panted, the air in his lungs leaving with a rush, "Please…"

Feeling the sudden urge to feel Tom's lips, he tugged gently on the hair in his grip. The other boy complied and with a gentle parting lick, let his cock slide from his mouth and shifted upwards, their naked skin sliding together.

When Tom was close enough, Harry immediately drew the other boy's lips to his own, pushing his tongue into the other boy's mouth almost roughly. He was so turned on that the urge to find release overwhelmed everything else. His arms slid around the other boy, holding him tightly, wanting to crawl under his skin.

Tom obviously sensed his urgency, kissing him back fiercely, his free hand cupping the back of his neck and drawing him even closer, making their mouths ache.

The finger inside Harry retreated slightly and Harry automatically clenched around it, not wanting to lose the feeling of completeness.

Tom soothed him with his lips and a caress to the back of his neck, making him relax enough to withdraw even further only to push back inside with two fingers.

The intrusion burned slightly, but Harry's body reacted by shuddering and pushing against it anyway, lips parting on a moan. Tom's lips slid down to his throat, sucking on his pulse point hard enough to draw the blood to the surface and make Harry's hips jerk and his hands clutching onto the other boy even tighter.

"Okay?", Tom asked gently, brushing damp hair from Harry's forehead, caressing the scar there without even noticing the habit anymore.

Their eyes locked as Harry got them open enough to look deeply into the Slytherin's and he almost melted by the softness he saw there.

"Yes", he panted quietly, "But please…I just…please…"

Harry's tongue felt thick and his throat too dry. Every muscle in his body was taunt and trembling, his chest almost too tight to breath, heaving with the little air he was able to draw into his lungs.

"Shhh", Tom soothed gently, licking his lips with only the tip of his tongue, before making his way down his body again, sucking at his nipples forcefully, before closing his mouth back around Harry's neglected cock, foregoing any teasing he could have bestowed on him. He obviously knew that Harry was in sexual agony by now.

As soon as Harry felt himself sliding down Tom's throat, his mind shut down, as he was overwhelmed with sensation. Closing his eyes against the dizzying pleasure, Harry convulsed as he felt the other boy swallowing around him at the same time that he brushed the spot deep inside him that made him almost pass out from sensation. Instinctively their hands found each other and intertwined. It was just an urge for intimacy Harry obviously had developed and Tom sought out as well.

Every gasping breath Harry took almost hurt in his dry throat and his lips felt just as dry, but every time he wanted to lick them, he ended up biting at them instead in mindless pleasure because everything was just too hot and too intense and he could feel Tom's mouth sliding up and down and sucking-just-_perfectly_…and his fingers sliding in deeply, slickly leaving him craving for Tom's cock inside him, for feeling him come inside him…hitting that spot, the spot that made him-_ohgodyesrightthere_- cry out and want things he never thought he could want and made him hunger for things that would have left him blushing and babbling-babbling just as he was now, in his head…could Tom hear it?-_godTomTomTom-_…he wanted to kiss him, but wanted his tongue to keep licking him, wanted to plunge his own tongue between the other boy's lips, but wanted his mouth to keep sucking, his finger to keep _fucking_ him-

And then everything was over in one big rush, one disastrous wave that buried him with it's intensity, only distantly aware of the desperate sounds he was making just before release it him and washed him away, making him shudder and shudder and the only thing that grounded him were Tom's fingers weaved between his own…

_/T/'H'_

Tom was still lying on top of him, where he'd been ever since Harry had come back to his senses, and the smaller boy was caressing his bare back gently as his panting slowly evened out and deepened into it's usual rhythm.

His face was still buried in Harry's neck and one of his hands was in the Gryffindor's shaggy hair, while the other was stretched out and resting under some pillow.

Harry turned his head slightly to press a gentle kiss to Tom's temple, while shifting his legs, bending them at the knees and planting his feet on the mattress, curling them around Tom's longer ones and at the same time holding him protectively.

It was almost an instinct that he craved to keep Tom as safe as possible and at times like these, when the Slytherin was so unusually vulnerable, his desire to do so was even greater.

Tom kissed his neck gently, without moving, except maybe that his fingers had tightened a bit in his hair.

"Tom?", Harry asked after a while, his voice soft.

The other boy caressed his head and the side of his face gently, snuggling even deeper into the smaller boy's arms.

Harry loved having Tom's weight pressing him down.

"Yes, Harry", it was only slightly muffled by his skin.

The Gryffindor moved his hands, feeling Tom's smooth skin under his palms and wrapped them more securely around him, breathing in his scent that was surrounding him completely and probably stuck to every inch of his skin. He wished he never had to lose it.

"Are we alright now?"

For the first time Tom really moved, drawing the hand that had been under the pillow out from it's self-build cave and using his arm to support himself on one elbow as he shifted upwards slightly in order to look into Harry's eyes.

He caressed his face gently, before leaning down to capture his lips in a soft kiss. Harry sighed and yielded almost instantly, feeling the warmness and smoothness of the other boy's mouth.

Tom drew back only far enough to utter a reply, their lips still touching and brushing against each other as he spoke.

"Yes, we are alright now"

_/T/'H'_

Sitting in Professor Binns class, Harry was ready to fall asleep and decided that before he actually did (like Ron next to him), he could take a look at one of the books he had taken with him from Snape's office last night.

Hermione was too busy taking notes to look at either of them and the rest of the small class, seeing as nearly over a half of the castle was sick, was as asleep as Ron beside him, no one would pay him any attention.

Flicking through the book, Harry sighed in frustration when he saw that, once again, the description was nearly the same as in all the other books they had already read.

He was close to shutting it again, when he turned one of the last pages and encountered a large drawing of the veil.

It was obviously very old and long before the time of cameras, but looked more detailed than any of the photographs he had seen the past two weeks.

Studying it carefully, Harry once again had the feeling that the ornaments on the frame reminded him of something. He was almost sure that he had seen them somewhere before…

And then he saw it. An inscription at the bottom of the frame, which he hadn't seen on any of the pictures before.

It was only one word: Muiredised.

Harry didn't have the faintest clue what it meant, but it was something new. Something that could probably help them a lot once they had figured it out.

Ripping the corner of a small sheet of parchment off, he used it as a bookmark and closed the book just as the bell rang.

Lunch break. Perfect.

Without thinking twice, Harry sprang to his feet, blurted out a quick excuse to Hermione and a very groggy Ron, and ran from the classroom.

While walking quickly down the corridor, Harry rummaged through his robe pockets.

Finally he found what he was looking for and grasped it firmly, feeling the cold metal pressing into his palm.

He knew that it had been quite lame to use the same trick with the coins as they had in the DA, but they had had to come up with a quick way of letting each other know when they wanted to meet.

_/T/'H'_

"Muiredised?", Draco read aloud, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

The four of them had gathered around Snape's desk and were staring down at the drawing in the book as if hypnotising it would help finding the answer.

"Desiderium", Tom said suddenly, "It must be read from right to left. They wrote it backwards."

"Why am I not surprised?", Draco scoffed, probably irritated that Tom had figured it out before him, "The master of wordplay: Tom Marvolo Riddle."

Tom's eyes narrowed as he glared at Draco, looking like a snake ready to strike its pray.

"Jealous?", he sneered, "And here I thought it was only one thing I had that you wanted. Seems that I was wrong."

Upon seeing Draco's cheeks turning slightly pink and his hands balling to fists, Harry decided it was a good time to ask what everyone else seemed to know already.

"What's Desiderium?", he asked quickly, sliding his hand into Tom's between the folds of their robes.

The Slytherin relaxed slightly and intertwined their fingers, but didn't bother to conceal the smug look on his face on having won this round.

"It's Latin.", Draco said tightly, his pale skin still tinged slightly pink, "It means 'desire'."

"Desire?", Harry mumbled to himself, looking back down at the drawing and studying the familiar ornaments once more, combining it with the new information.

Suddenly it felt as if a brick had fallen onto his head and he unconsciously squeezed Tom's hand while his other one shot forward to press a finger onto the drawing.

"Now I know why those ornaments seemed so familiar!", Harry exclaimed, "I knew I had seen them before! It was on the mirror of Erised! There's a connection between the veil and the mirror! They have the same ornaments and both of them have 'desire' written backwards on them!"

The others stared at him in astonishment, but Harry was too excited to even realize it properly. They had finally found something! It couldn't be that long before they could finally rescue Sirius!

"Mirror of Erised?", Draco asked confusedly.

"Yes, it's a mirror that shows you your deepest desire.", Harry answered distractedly.

"How did you know about the mirror, Potter?", it was the first time Snape had said something since Harry had shown the picture.

Looking up into the dark, suspicious eyes of his Potions professor, Harry didn't feel the usual anxiousness he normally did when Snape looked at him that way. Tom was standing right beside him and their hands were still joined firmly.

"I found it in my first year, then saw it again when I fought Quirell for the Philosopher's stone.", he answered truthfully, "Dumbledore surely knows where it is."

"Certainly.", Snape said, "As the mirror is Hogwarts property, because it was once owned by Godric Gryffindor."

* * *

more to Disclaimer rights: the song i used was: _So close_ by _Jon McLaughlin_ from the soundtrack: _Enchanted_.

also another note, if somehow some of the stuff Tom is saying about sex, it's based loosley on Brian Kinney's (Queer as Folk) believes. maybe some of you recognize it ). i just wanted to mention it so it doesn't count as stealing or something :).


	32. Chapter 32

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hello guys! i really speeded with this chapter, i got it done in only three days or so, just for you ). anyway, hope you like it, plot is developing nicely, i think, and there will be a lot more action soon.

THANKS to all my reviewers, i love you!

_**Rokkis: **yeah i like movie-Tom, even though in my mind he is still different :D . sorry to disappoint, but there will be no threesome lol. but if you stick with me long enough than maybe you will see that i won't let Draco suffer for forever ;). glad you liked it and thx for your review._

_**MyraHellsing: **thx for the review, i loved SO hard lol. the comment with Gryffiondor looking at himself in the mirror with his sword, just priceless! btw you'll find out where the mirror is in this chapter :D._

_**Cap'nSparrow:** of course this isn't finished! so stick with me and review nicely, lol! thx for your review!_

okay, sorry to those i haven't addressed personally and pls keep it up!

for now,

enjoy!

* * *

Harry was studying the many jars in front of him, his eyes moving from one shelf to the next as he tried to remember how that damn midnight weed looked any different than the other one hundred beside it.

Tom was fast asleep and Harry wished that he were awake. He would know which one of the damned weeds it was and he could finish his assignment a lot quicker.

"It's the one above you in the jar with the red stopper.", a voice said quietly from behind him, making him almost jump from his skin.

Whirling around, Harry nearly threw some jars off their shelves, his heart hammering as he finally caught sight of the person behind him.

"Draco!", he hissed, "Fuck, you scared me! What the hell are you doing here?"

Draco raised one perfect shaped eyebrow, a slight smirk curling his lips as he leaned against the nearest shelf to his right with folded arms. It was one of his most characteristic postures and Harry had quickly become accustomed to them.

"It's a storage room, Harry, I thought that it may be obvious", he drawled, "I need ingredients."

Harry's eyes narrowed slightly and he huffed as he turned back to the shelf behind him, taking the jar Draco had pointed out at him roughly.

Harry didn't know if his bad mood resulted from having looked for the damned mirror for the last two weeks or about the ever-growing activity of the Death Eaters.

Voldemort had attacked two small Muggle villages and more and more rumours about the Dark Lord controlling the Ministry were spread.

Yesterday there had been an attack on the CEO of the Daily Prophet, which was nearly completely brushed under the carpet. The changed in the newspaper were already showing and Tom and Harry both believed that the Prophet wouldn't be of any help in the near future.

If it weren't for his connection to Voldemort, Harry probably would be as oblivious as most of the other people about Tanicus Tiberius. Tom had blocked the torture the man had to endure from his mind, but Harry had felt sick anyway.

At least they hadn't killed him and Tiberius was obviously back at his rightful place, with the only difference that now he had to publish only things Voldemort wanted him to.

The helpless feeling Harry once again had began to suffocate him and turned his nerves into raw, leaving him easily irritated and very moody.

"Well hurry then, you know we can't be seen together.", Harry said sharply.

Draco wasn't in the least bit impressed. He casually changed the weight from one foot to another and straightened himself, reaching almost absentmindedly for a jar.

"We found the mirror.", the Slytherin said, careful to keep his voice quiet.

Harry's gaze snapped to the side, his eyes widening in surprise. He felt his heart flutter and the unmistakable feeling of excitement rushing through his body.

It was the first positive thing he had heard in days.

"Where is it?", he whispered, his heart beating loudly.

Draco carefully inspected another jar, before taking the one to it's right, his face unreadable.

"In one of Dumbledore's rooms…", he said then, slowly.

Harry stared at him as if the Slytherin had grown another head. The joy of hearing that they had finally found what they had been looking for nearly vanished completely, leaving only a dull feeing behind.

"What?!"

Draco glared at him sharply, silencing him effectively before any of the students could discover them.

"You heard me"

"But", Harry spluttered, "But we can't take it from there! What use is it to us then?"

A shadow of a smirk curved the blonde's lips as he glanced at Harry from the side.

"Whoever said we can't take it?", he asked casually, turning his head to pretend that he read some of the labels, "It's in one of the rooms he never uses and I doubt he is thinking about it at the moment."

Harry stared at him incredulously, every pretence of looking for other ingredients gone.

"Are you out of your mind?!", he hissed, "I can't believe that we are even having this discussion! It's Dumbledore we're talking about!"

Draco's face darkened and his features hardened.

"So what if it was fucking Merlin?", he snapped, "The point is that with a secure plan, we would be able to take it from right under his nose. The chance of him noticing it, if he isn't to catch us in flagranti, is very small. We have Severus on our side, he know these quarters. You have sneaked into more dangerous places, Harry, so why back down now?"

Of course Draco had a point there, but Harry simply couldn't fight the uneasiness inside of him. Dumbledore had been someone he has looked up to for so long. Betraying him seemed so…wrong.

But then again it wasn't as if he wasn't hiding things from him. What difference would it make to add the mirror to it all?

"But breaking into his office?", he said, his tone filled with doubt, "How can we be sure that the office isn't protected by a hundred hidden spells?"

Draco shrugged, not looking at him.

"We don't.", he said simply, "But your watchdog will be present and so I think that we have a great chance of detecting them if there are any."

Harry was silent. He was staring unseeingly at some slimy orange liquid in the glass jar in front of him and turning every possibility over in his head.

"I need to get back.", he finally said, "We'll talk about this later tonight."

He didn't tell Draco, but there was another reason other than thinking it over why he hadn't said anything else yet. He didn't want to make the same mistake again and leave Tom out. He needed to talk to him first above all the others.

_/T/'H'_

"What do we know about the protection spells there?", Tom asked smoothly, having leaned back against the sofa casually and looking into the round.

Draco's lips were pressed together and there was a slight tension in his otherwise cool posture. The air between the two Slytherin was frosty as always, but they had yet to blow up at each other. Which probably was also, because Tom seemed to hold himself back for once.

"I find it difficult to answer your question, Riddle, seeing as I have never attempted to visit the headmaster while he was in bed.", Snape said dryly, black eyes filled with the usual disdain.

Tom's eyes narrowed slightly, but to Harry's surprise he didn't snap anything back at the professor.

"Dumbledore isn't really known for being overly suspicious.", Draco offered, "If you ask me, I doubt that there are any more protection spells on his private quarters, seeing as he depends on Hogwarts' shields to protect all of the castle's inhabitants."

"Be that as it may, Malfoy", Tom drawled, his tone bearing the usual disdain it always did when talking to the blonde, "this is no help as to how we can get _inside_ without that ugly statue of his knowing it. Knowing the password helps us in no way, seeing as that damned gargoyle would inform Dumbledore as soon as the old fool would leave his quarters."

"Do no speak disrespectfully of the headmaster in my quarters, Riddle, or I will personally see you removed.", Snape snapped lowly, glaring at the Slytherin.

Draco's previously frowning lips slowly turned into a hateful smirk as his godfather scolded the wizard.

Tom's eyes narrowed slightly at the tone of voice Snape had used with him and Harry suppressed the urge to massage his temples.

"If you are quite finished with outsmarting and shooting sarcasm around to hurt each other's ego, I would like to return to the original discussion.", Harry said tiredly, irritation clear in his voice.

The Slytherins all tuned to stare at him, clearly surprised at the way he had interrupted them.

Tom's lips soon turned up in a small smirk.

_/I clearly taught you well./_, he said proudly, _/I knew you had it in you./_

Despite himself, Harry couldn't suppress a small, bemused smile, some of his irritation evaporating as he shook his had slightly.

"Is there any other way we could get in despite the main entrance?", Draco asked, directing it mostly at Snape.

His forehead frowned in intense thought, Snape looked unseeing into the fire as he absently stroked a long, pale finger over his bottom lip, a gesture that Harry had come to recognize as a characteristic of his.

"It would be the easiest if we could simply get in through the window…", Harry sighed, thinking about how easy it would be to fly.

All eyes turned towards him once more and Harry shrank back slightly, fearing that he had said something completely dumb.

Instead of scolding him, the other three Slytherins wore similar surprised expressions.

"This was absolutely the smartest thing I have ever heard you say, Potter.", Snape said, his words so strange that they seemed to echo around him.

_/T/'H'_

Clutching Draco's robe in his hands, Harry held on tight as he felt the Slytherin steer the broom into a steep manoeuvre. Careful as to not let the icy wind rip the Invisibility Cloak from their bodies, Harry didn't even notice how close to the stone-wall they were.

The cold seeped through his every layer of clothing and he shivered. His limbs were already stiff and it felt as though the blood had turned to ice in his veins. The only warmth he was getting, was from Draco's back. He didn't even want to think about how cold the other boy must be, as the air was hitting him in the face full frontal.

The discussion leading to this final event had been a long one. At first Harry had offered to go on his own, meaning together with Tom. Tom, of course, had liked that idea, but Draco had nearly bit his head off. Needless to say both Slytherins weren't too quick in calming down again…

After it had been established that all three of them would go, there was the issue about the brooms. Tom had fought with claws and teeth against Draco's suggestion of Harry flying with him _together _on his, Draco's, broom.

Fortunately, this time Snape cut into the heated 'discussion' and stated that it would be much wiser to only take one broom in order to be able to make use of Harry's Invisibility Cloak.

Very grudgingly Tom accepted that fact and Draco was so smug about it that he didn't protest when Harry told him he wanted to take his Firebolt instead.

When it came down to finally mounting the broom together, Harry had been reluctant to give over all control to Draco, but the blonde had stated that it would only be logical for him to steer the broom, seeing as he was taller and probably stronger than Harry.

Finally Harry had given in and had slid onto the Firebolt behind his friend.

Tom hadn't said one word, but Harry could feel his presence at the very front of his mind, making it easy for Harry to detect every possessive and jealous wave rushing through the other boy.

The Gryffindor felt strangely pleased with that fact, something that he himself found quite sick, but at the same time couldn't seem to deny. It felt good to have someone want him so much that he was going out of his mind (no pun intended) with jealousy.

Harry was so deep on thought, he nearly didn't realise when they had reached the right window. Coming to his senses quickly, Harry abstained from drawing his wand and quickly slid off the glove from his right hand, in order to let his naked, stiff fingers meet with the latch of the window from the outside.

His hand was so cold, that it began to tingle as the magic flowed out of him and so numb that he nearly missed the feeling of the latch clicking open.

Obviously as eager as Harry to get out of the freezing weather, Draco quickly, albeit silently, steered the broom through the great, now open, window and landed in one swift practiced movement.

Harry quickly turned to soundlessly close the widow behind them at the same time as Draco leaned the Firebolt against the wall beside it.

A heartbeat later warmth flooded through him and Harry sighed, turning around to smile at Tom, who had appeared behind him and had cast a warming spell over him.

As the three of them crept through the rather small room towards the only door, Harry couldn't help but think about how much had changed. Only months ago he would have done something like this with Ron and Hermione, but now they didn't even have the fainted clue that he was anywhere but in his room.

Concentrating back on the task at hand, Harry looked around briefly. The room probably seemed even smaller because of the many things that had been stuffed into it. It looked as though someone had taken it out of a book, fulfilling every cliché of an attic where someone had put all the stuff in that wasn't needed any longer. Old books, broken chairs, chests in every size…and of course everything was covered with a thick layer of dust, which flew around them with every careful step they took.

Draco was the first to reach the door and Harry was almost surprised it didn't creak. The blonde glanced into the dark hallway briefly before turning around to share a look with Tom, displeasure etched to both of their faces.

Earlier they had come to the decision that it would be better to split up, seeing as they had more than one room to look through. It was Harry's suggestion actually, because he reasoned that they could spare a lot of time that way.

Snape had told them that it would be wise that either Tom or Harry would split from their small group, seeing as they were able to communicate with each other easily without being in the same room.

To prevent the two Slytherins from starting to fight over him all over again, his head having ached by that time from the 'broom-fight' only moments before, Harry had immediately told them that he would be the one going on his own.

Neither his friend nor Tom had dared to argue with him over it and so it was that Harry brushed passed both of them, caressing Tom briefly as he passed him.

'_Behave'_, he reminded the other wizard.

Tom only snorted, but didn't say anything, only returned the small gesture.

_/Be careful/_, he said then, softly.

Harry smiled over his shoulder at the other boy, warmth spreading though him that had nothing to do with the after effects of the warming spell.

'_I will'_

Looking over to Draco, the two of them shared a smile as well, before Harry silently slid through the small gap that the blonde had left open before.

Harry had never quite realised how big the headmaster's quarters actually were. Only through Snape he had now learned that the moving staircase didn't only have one stop, as he thought, but three. One for the headmaster's office, one for his private quarters and another one with an additional set of rooms

The hallway looked as frequently visited as the room he had just come from, but in stark contrast to the chaos there, it was bare without even paintings on the walls.

In the suffocating silence, every sound was twice as loud. It was something that Harry had experienced many times before, but also something he would probably never get used to. His heart was hammering in his chest and his hand was sweaty when he finally reached for the doorknob of the room across the hall.

Remembering that he was not alone, Harry tried to calm his nerves by picking up conversation with Tom.

'_Do you think he ever even comes up here?'_

If Tom was surprised by the sudden need for communication, he didn't show it.

_/It doesn't look like it./_, he said,_ /It's a miracle there aren't any rats./_

'_If you see one, be careful, it may be in disguise.',_ Harry joked lamely as he entered the dusty room, which was even smaller than the last and looked like a storage room, on shaky legs.

Tom snorted half in disgust, half in amusement.

_/Please, spare me./_

By now Harry had ventured into the small space and had let his gaze sweep over the various items. Carefully stepping closer to a pile, he shifted some things around in order to get a better look at the other stuff behind it.

He tried to work as quickly as he could, while staying silent at the same time. Some of the things he found were interesting and he had to will himself to put them aside and not inspect them further.

_/There is nothing here./_, Tom's words forced a sigh from Harry's lips.

'_Neither is here.'_, he stated, taking one last look around the cluttered space.

_/Malfoy and I will take the next big room right next to this one./_

'_Good, then I'll take the one across from you.'_

Tom didn't reply, but Harry knew that he had acknowledged his words. Surprisingly enough they didn't meet in the hall as Harry sneaked to the next room and slid inside.

This one was a bit different. Not necessarily bigger, but different somehow. The first thing that Harry noticed where the great amount of paintings and portraits.

He nearly fainted from shock when he realised that everyone of them could slide downstairs and tell the headmaster he was here. When he took a closer look, however, he discovered that the frames were either vacant, or the people inside them sleeping.

Even more careful then before, Harry slowly stepped closer to them. There were a few items that were covered with old sheets, making it difficult for Harry to guess if it were paintings they covered or something else.

Softly, as not to disturb any of the sleeping portraits, Harry began his search anew. It took him much longer than in the last room, because he was so afraid he might alert one of them of his presence.

He had nearly forsaken all hope of finding anything useful, when he uncovered one of the paintings at the very back of the room. He nearly let go of the frame in surprise, but caught himself at the last moment.

Inside the painting, two young men were sleeping on an old-fashioned couch, their limbs tangled together and the smaller man's blond head resting on the taller black haired man's chest.

They looked peaceful and radiated something only two lovers could. Studying them silently for another moment, Harry felt almost guilty for intruding on a personal moment like this.

The painting looked old and Harry gauged from the clothes that the two men wore that it must have been painted sometime maybe a thousand years ago.

Studying the lovers even more closely, Harry couldn't shake off the feeling that he had seen these men somewhere before…

And then suddenly, when the back haired man shifted slightly in his sleep, Harry recognized him. It was Salazar Slytherin! And the blonde was definitely Godric Gryffindor. He had seen them enough times in his History of Magic books in order to be sure.

'_Tom!'_, Harry exclaimed excitedly, _'Look at this!'_

Harry could feel the other boy shifting to the front of his mind again in order to be able to look through Harry's eyes.

_/Are this…/_

'_Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin!'_,Harry confirmed,_ 'And obviously they_ _were more than best friends, if this is anything to go by.'_

Tom was silent for a moment, thinking the new information over, before retreating a bit.

_/We'll talk about this later./_, he said, no emotion betraying his voice, _/Let's get this_ _over with quickly./_

Taking another long look at the two lovers, Harry was finally able to take his eyes off them. He let the sheet fall back over the painting and looked on.

As quickly as he could, he looked through the rest of the stuff, but the mirror wasn't here.

Sighing and with his head still reeling from the new information, Harry was about to inform Tom that he was moving on to the next room, when the other boy nearly made him jump from his skin as he addressed him at the same moment.

_/We found it./_, he said, his voice unnaturally tight, _/Let's get out of here./_

In his haste to get to the other two boys, Harry nearly forgot to make his foot prints vanish, but then turned back around to make a sweeping gesture with his hand. Not lingering long enough to actually see them disappearing, Harry crossed the hall and entered the room he knew the Slytherins were in.

Tom and Draco were, unsurprisingly, glaring at each other, but it seemed different than the last time he had seen them. Tom's gaze was so freezingly cold, he looked like he would kill the blonde any moment and Draco had his hands clenched into fists, his pale cheeks tinged with pink, either from anger or embarrassment.

Frowning, Harry stepped in between them, reflexively reaching out to touch Tom and soothingly caressed the taller boy's arm.

"What's going on?", he asked quietly, looking from one to the other.

Draco was the first to look away, swallowing and indicating a small shake of his head.

"It's nothing.", he pressed out, "Let's get this thing out of here."

Drawing his wand, Draco cast a shrinking spell, but nothing seemed to happen.

Frowning Draco tried again, but there was no change.

"It's not working.", he stated unnecessarily.

Tom snorted, but when Harry squeezed his arm, remained silent. Both of them tried as well, but the mirror didn't show any inclination of shrinking, whatsoever.

This was definitely not how they had planned it.

Looking over at Tom, Harry was distracted slightly at the thoughtful look the Slytherin had etched to his face. He looked sexy as hell and Harry couldn't seem to ban the thought from his mind.

After a moment, a determined look replaced the frown on his face, and Tom extended a hand, which Harry followed with his eyes. Slowly, but surely the mirror rose into the air, before coming to a halt a few inches above the floor.

"They protected it from spells that change its general appearance.", he stated, "But that won't keep us from levitating it."

"You want to _levitate_ it from this tower to the ground?!", Draco asked incredulously, looking as though Tom had suddenly grown another set of limbs.

"Do you have a better idea, Malfoy?!", Tom snapped, "I'm open to suggestions!"

"But this is _mad_, Riddle!", Draco bit back fiercely, "This thing is huge! How the hell do you suppose it will go unnoticed? You want to fly down with it, to cover it from view with you glorious self? On the other hand, why not, your ego would be quite sufficient to wrap around it."

Harry watched Tom's eyes darken and narrow, while his lips thinned. Both very bad signs. Remaining firmly in place between the two of them, Harry's grip on Tom's arm tightened, while he threw a warning glance at Draco.

"Could we stay focused here?", he said sharply, trying to get the situation back under control.

Neither boy relaxed, but both remained silent, trying to kill each other with their gazes.

Harry fought the urge to run a hand through his hair and tried to focus on the problem at hand, instead.

The mirror was, indeed, huge, but maybe…

Looking over to where his Invisibility Cloak and broom lay, Harry tried to gauge how much of it would be able to be covered by it.

"What about the cloak?", he said out loud, "It would be big enough to cover the backside if we spread it out."

Both boys abandoned the attempt to glare each other to death and finally seemed to turn their attention back to the problem at hand.

"I guess, but…", Draco said slowly, trying to steer his thoughts into the direction that Harry's were going.

"This _is_ a magic mirror, right?", Harry asked rhetorically, "So if we manage to cover the back with the cloak, then the mirror-glass will reflect it."

"Meaning exactly nothing, if the back is invisible.", Draco stated, eyes wide as the realization finally sunk in. "That's brilliant, Harry!"

Harry grinned, but his response was only for Tom.

'_Well, I leaned from the master'_

Shooting a coy glance at Tom, Harry was relieved when he saw that his expression had relaxed and he wore an almost-smile.

_/I'm glad you are aware of that/_, the soft tone of his voice belied the actual meaning of the words and Harry's smile brightened.

_/T/'H'_

It was already dawning by the time that the three of them managed to levitate the mirror into Snape's quarters and Harry could feel exhaustion taking over as the rush of adrenalin from the whole event had left his body.

He more dragged himself into the potions master's rooms than he actually walked and was glad when he could simply fall into the next best armchair that crossed his path.

Snape was awaiting them, still fully dressed, and gave directions as to where to put the mirror. He obviously had decided that the safest place would be his bedroom and Harry, after the three of them had vanished and not re-emerged, fought for his tired limbs to cooperate and struggled to get back on his feet. The short nights were clearly getting to him. And now he had classes to worry about as well…

Upon entering Snape's bedroom, he found his little group standing beside a big dresser, the mirror leaning against its side. Tom had freed it from the Invisibility Cloak and so it was visible in all its glory, so to say.

Harry was even more reluctant now. He was afraid of what he might see in it, remembering the last time he had looked inside very vividly.

After simply watching from a distance, Harry finally pulled himself together. This was for Sirius, he reminded himself, and the quicker they found the connection between the veil and the mirror, the quicker his godfather would return.

Stepping up to them, Harry was nevertheless careful not to stand directly in front of it. Seeking out Tom's hand between the folds of their robes, Harry was relived when he felt the other boy take it willingly, intertwining their fingers and squeezing gently.

"I doubt we will be able to accomplish anymore tonight.", Snape said, "I suggest we all go to bed and discuss further detail tomorrow. We need to get up in approximately three hours, so I would advise all of you to go to bed immediately."

Harry nodded automatically, but then caught himself. He needed to do this, he realised, or else sleep would not be able to come to him, as exhausted as he may be.

"Professor, would you mind if I just have one look at it now?", Harry spoke quickly as to not lose his nerve, "Really just for a minute."

Snape studied him, his gaze unreadable, but then nodded sharply. Harry was pleasantly surprised at how easy this had been.

"Draco, I will show you outside."

Draco looked at Harry, the question obvious in his eyes, but the Gryffindor only indicated a small shake of his head.

There was nothing else said between them except a quiet exchange of 'good night's, before the bedroom door closed and Harry and Tom were left standing alone beside the large mirror.

Snape's bedroom looked far more comfortable than Harry had ever thought it would. It had a big fireplace, a huge bed and more than a few rugs were spread over the cold stone.

"Are you alright, Harry?", Tom asked quietly, looking at him intensely, obviously searching for any signs of distress.

Harry turned his head to smile at him tiredly and squeezed his fingers gently.

"I'm fine.", he reassured the Slytherin, "I just need to do this."

Tom simply nodded and let go of Harry's hand, making the Gryffindor miss the feeling of his skin before he had fully retreated in the first place.

"Do you want me to go?", Tom asked quietly.

Harry's gaze snapped to the other boy's face immediately.

"No", he said firmly, "Stay."

Not saying anything more, Tom only nodded once more and remained motionless, only his gaze following Harry as he slowly, hesitantly made his way over to the mirror.

Against his better judgment, Harry could feel his heart beating fiercer than it should have and his knees were shaky as he finally came to a halt before it.

When he finally had the strength to slowly raise his eyes and look into the mirror, it wasn't at all what he had expected to see.

Somehow Harry had believed that he would be seeing the same things he had when he had last looked into it, but he had obviously been wrong. Thinking it over now, Harry realised that it had been foolish to belief that he would still desire the same things he did when he was eleven years old…

The first thing he saw was, of course, himself, standing in the middle of a group of people, but they weren't his family. Skimming over the familiar faces, Harry realised that not even his parents were there any longer.

A movement caught his eye and he gasped as he saw Tom wrap his arms around him from behind, without him feeling it.

Although knowing it to be only an illusion, Harry nevertheless couldn't stop himself from turning his head and making sure that Tom was still standing at the same spot as before.

As he had thought, Tom hadn't moved, still observing him carefully, and so he turned back to the image before him, just in time to see mirror-Tom nuzzling the side of his face and tightening his hold around him. Something small on Tom's hand caught his attention as light reflected off it and automatically drew his eyes towards it, years as a seeker having sensitized him to small, shiny things.

Looking closer, Harry bit down on his tongue to prevent himself from gasping again, as he saw that it was a ring that he had seen. His stomach in knots, Harry swallowed heavily and slowly let his eyes wander lower, down his own body. As he had presumed the twin of Tom's ring was on his own hand and he had to swallow again.

The other boy would probably laugh him in the face if he knew that one of Harry's deepest desires was for their love to be shown openly and even underlined by a clear sign of commitment.

Tearing his eyes away from the rings, Harry took a deep breath and let his gaze wander over all of the other faces. They were all smiling at him. Not only happy with their own lives but also happy for Harry's sake.

Not too far away he could see Sirius and Remus standing side by side, his godfather having flung his arm around his much smaller friend and grinning openly.

To their left stood Draco, smirking good-naturedly in their direction. There was a blurry shape right beside him, which Harry could not make out.

Deciding to think about it later, he let his gaze shift over to where Ron and Hermione were standing, arms around each other and not a trace of dislike against any of the Slytherins in neither their posture nor expression.

To his horror, Harry felt his throat closing up and his eyes begin to burn. He could not believe that this one image was getting to him so much. He was pathetic!

Only a moment later, Harry felt Tom's arms as they wrapped him into a tight embrace. The same one that mirror-Tom had bestowed on him earlier.

When his Tom, the Tom that was solid and warm and _real_ pressed gentle lips to the side of his face, Harry watched the image in the mirror dissolve. Somehow it hurt him more than it should have, not knowing if it was because he simply missed the feeling he had gotten from looking at it or from knowing that it would never be possible.

Feeling it becoming too much, Harry turned in Tom's embrace and wordlessly buried his face into he taller boy's warm, smooth neck, his arms slipping around the slim waist of his the other wizard.

Tom didn't say anything, not questioning him on what he had seen, simply wrapping his arms around him tightly, protectively and pressing small, soft kisses anywhere he could reach. Showing him with every caress that he was right here and not going anywhere.

And right now, that was all that mattered.


	33. Chapter 33

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: THANK you my lovely reviewers, i love your reviews as always :)! i'm really glad that all of you liked the painting so much, lol. i've always liked the idea of Salazar and Godric together...

this chapter is a tiny bit shorter than the last ones, but the next will be longer again :). it finally comes down to some action and i can see the end somewhere on the horizon, lol! i can't believe how long this story is by now and i won't make any guesses as to how many chapters i'll need to finish, but as i said, the end is defenitely nearing :).

for those of you who may not like this, i have some good news. there will defenitely be a sequel to this. i have it already finished in my mind and if there are enough people who are interested, there is nothing that could keep me from writing it down.

i didn't plan one, but as the story progressed and the way i picture the ending of this one, i really think it would be nice. and to be honest, IyM has grown so much on me over the last year, that i'm quite glad i won't have to part from it too soon :).

okay, i think that's it for now. i'll bring the sequel-issue up again with the last chapter of IyM, then you can tell me if you are interested :).

lots of love and

enjoy!

* * *

Snuggling deeper into Tom's embrace, Harry felt the arms around him tighten as he draped one of his legs over one of Tom's, letting it slide between the longer ones of the other boy and shifting into a more comfortable position.

He slowly let his hands slide from Tom's hair to his chest and back up to his neck, loving the smooth feeling of the Slytherin's pale skin under his palm. Harry felt the other boy's hand in his own messy hair, while the other was caressing his arm.

"What were you and Draco fighting about?", Harry asked softly, not really wanting to disturb the peaceful atmosphere, but wanting to know nevertheless.

Tom's hand stopped moving, coming to rest on his wrist, while the other one curled deeper in his hair. He could feel and hear him exhale heavily.

"When do Malfoy and I not fight?", he retorted and Harry immediately knew that he was avoiding the question.

Frowning slightly, he shifted his body around so that he was lying on his stomach and able to look at the Slytherin, but Tom wasn't meeting his gaze, his green eyes open but staring up to the ceiling.

"I was talking about the other night in Dumbledore's rooms, when I came back and the two of you where about to attack each other.", Harry said, watching Tom's face carefully, "What was it about?"

Finally Tom turned his head to look at him, but his eyes were unreadable, something that didn't happen often anymore. He reached one of his hands up to gently cup the side of the Gryffindor's face, his thumb gentle as it ran over one of his cheekbones.

"Don't you know by now?", he said softly, his fingers curling slightly and the green of his eyes deepening, "Don't you know it's always about you?"

Covering Tom's hand with his own, Harry slid his fingers in-between the spaces and couldn't suppress a sigh, leaning into the other boy's touch.

"Tell me."

Tom looked away, before taking a deep breath and locking gazes with him again.

"There's something I haven't told you.", Tom said, swallowing.

The frown that had nearly vanished from Harry's forehead returned full force. It had been a long time since he had heard Tom say something like that. And as far as he remembered it had never been a good sign. His fingers involuntarily tightened their grip.

"When Malfoy and I found the mirror…", Tom went on slowly, without needing any more prompting, "we both saw the same thing."

"What?", Harry asked, incredulous, his eyes widening.

"I thought about it a lot and I think", he swallowed again before he went on, "I think it means that if two people who desire the same thing look into the mirror at the same time, they are both able to see it, whereas two people with different desires wouldn't see anything but their reflections, as Ron did in your first year when you showed him the mirror."

Harry stared at him, not sure if he had actually grasped the meaning of what the other boy was telling him.

"So you are telling me that…that when you both looked into the mirror…you saw…me?", he asked, knowing that his voice sounded as astonished as he felt.

"Yes."

This time it was Harry that had to look away, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. He felt the urge to sit up and put some distance between them, but at the same time wanted nothing more than to bury himself in Tom's arms. Or better, crawl under his skin and stay there.

Obviously sensing Harry's turmoil, Tom took the decision from him by drawing the smaller boy against him, wrapping his longer form around him and pressing soft lips to his face.

Harry could feel Tom's right hand curling around he back of his neck and wrapped his own arms around the other wizard, pressing his palms onto the skin of his back and simply breathing in his scent for a moment, trying to calm down.

He didn't know how long they lay like this, but he was sure neither of them moved before Harry's breathing had deepened again and he was able to open his eyes. Leaning the few millimetres forward, Harry pressed his lips to Tom's shoulder and a moment later felt the answering kiss to the top of his head.

"Okay?", the Slytherin asked gently, caressing the nape of his neck.

Harry nodded, but didn't move otherwise.

"It just makes it…more real somehow…", he said slowly, but frowned as soon as the words had left his mouth.

This had made much more sense inside his head. Suddenly he felt embarrassed at the way he had freaked out over what Tom had told him and turned to bury his suddenly hot face into the other boy's neck.

"I know", was all Tom mumbled and these two words made everything seem a bit less stupid.

_/T/'H'_

Harry was just about to take the familiar turn to his right that led to the dungeon-staircase when a familiar voice suddenly called his name.

"Harry! Wait!"

Turning around he nearly groaned when he saw who it was that had called out to him.

"Cho", he said flatly as the girl came to a slithering halt in front of him.

"Hello, Harry", she smiled brightly at him, her cheeks flushed and her breath quick from running, "How are you? We didn't really get to talk again after the ball."

Harry tried not to let his frustration show. He regretted now more than anything that he had agreed to take her as his date to the ball.

"Fine", he said, thinking about the quickest way to get rid of her, "But I'm actually quite busy at the moment, sorry."

Her face fell, but she obviously forced herself to keep on smiling. Harry thought it didn't look good on her.

"Oh, well, I don't want to keep you then.", she said, "Maybe we can meet some other time?"

"We'll see.", he answered vaguely, "But now I really have to go. Bye."

"Bye Harry.", she said softly, just as he turned back around and quickly descended the stairs.

_/She's obviously not one to give up easily./_, Tom commented dryly.

Harry could only agree silently. He had no idea where Cho's sudden interest in him came from. All that he did know, was, that it was very annoying.

Relieved when he reached Snape's rooms without any further complications, Harry knocked and quickly slid inside when he heard the answer from within the room.

Draco was already there and sat with his godfather on the couch, both of them several pieces of parchment in front of them along with quite a few books.

Tom materialised beside him as soon as he had closed the door and they both approached the couch opposite of the one that the two wizards were occupying.

"Anything new?", Harry asked as he let his book bag drop beside the couch and sat beside Tom.

"Nothing", Draco sighed as he leaned back, "But Severus and I decided it would be more useful if we just thought about some possibilities of connections ourselves, seeing as to none of the books are any help."

"And? Did you come up with anything?"

"Well, actually, yes.", the blonde replied, a small smirk tugging at his lips, "We thought that maybe if the mirror showed you your desire, the veil could lead you to it."

Harry frowned and when he looked sideways at Tom he could see that he was doing the same.

"And how do we actually test this theory?"

"We can't.", Snape said, placing some of the sheets he was holding down on the coffee table, "But there are no other options and we are running out of time. The Dark Lord won't wait for us to bring Black back. We will have to take the risk and try rescuing him with what we know."

"But that is practically nothing!"

"Do you have a better idea, Riddle?", Draco shot back at him.

There was a brief silence that wrapped around them like a thick blanket. For a moment it was almost as if time had stopped. No one even moved, all of them thinking about what would have to be done.

"You do realise that we will have to break into he Ministry of Magic. By night.", Harry finally spoke up and just like this, the spell was broken.

Sighing, Snape rubbed the bridge of his nose and Harry ached to do the same, but chose to shift and lean back instead, feeling the warmth of Tom's body heat beside him as their arms and shoulders pressed together. It was comforting and soothing.

"I know", he said, sounding exhausted.

"Maybe we can fly through a window.", Tom said dryly, rolling his eyes.

"Shut up, Riddle.", Draco snapped.

Harry chose, once again, to interfere before this could get more ugly.

"How many people are actually around at night?"

Snape thought for a moment, weighing the question in his mind.

"Members of the Ministry do not underlie any sort of restrictions. They can enter the building as they wish. Aurors and Unspeakables are often also working at night as well as some members of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. But nevertheless there is a much higher chance of our plan working out at night.", he answered slowly, "You must remember from your previous excursion there a year ago, Potter."

Harry tried not to take the bait, and bit his tongue instead. Thinking about the last time he had been in the Ministry.

Obviously flying there on Thestrals and going through he registration process was not an option. They needed a plan. The faster, the better.

"Any suggestions?"

_/T/'H'_

"And?"

"There are still in Snape's office", Shadow said, falling gracefully into the space next to her servant on the couch, "When I saw Potter this morning he was obviously already heading there. What other business would he have in the dungeons?"

Her servant shrugged, trying not to cough at the dust Shadow had whirled up while sitting down. Her gaze was back in the book she had been reading before the other girl had entered the room.

Shadow's eyes narrowed. She hated being ignored by the girl. In one swift move, she had plucked the book from her servant's hands and threw it into the direction of the tattered coffee table, the candle nearby flickering in the breeze this created.

"Don't ignore me.", she snapped.

The smaller girl, glared at her, drawing her legs further under her body as she shifted slightly on the rutty couch.

"I know that you'd like for me to admire you all day, but that was actually a school book.", she bit out.

Shadow felt her temper slipping and almost without thinking grabbed a handful of the other girl's hair, pulling her forcefully closer so that she could feel her breath on her face.

"What have I told you about getting smart with me?", Shadow said softly, her grip tightening.

She was pleased when she saw the smaller girl wince.

"What the fuck do you want?", her servant pressed out between clenched teeth.

"I want you to concentrate on thinking how we best get into the Ministry. We need a plan that won't endanger them seeing us as we follow them inside.", she hissed, irritated that she had to explain herself all over.

"You still think we can follow them and get close enough to maybe find out what Harry's secret power is IF they should decide to discuss it?", she looked as if she was bout to laugh in her face, "That's got to be one of the most pathetic things I've ever heard."

Her grip having loosened, Shadow suddenly tightened it again, nearly tearing strands from the other girl's scalp with the force that she tugged her head back, leaning even closer into her. Her servant's eyes watered and she bit her lip to obviously keep from making a sound. So beautiful…

Shadow had no idea how, or even why she had held herself back from screwing the other girl. There was no way she could protest. She was hers anyway.

"These are our orders.", she said harshly, "And you'll do as I say."

Her servant wisely chose to keep her mouth shut his time, or maybe she was too busy holding back any sound of pain that could escape her if she wasn't careful enough.

As Shadow looked deeply into the other girl's eyes, she suddenly felt as if her chest was too tight. Loosening her grip almost completely, she caressed the spot where she had so forcefully torn at her servant's hair instead, trying to ease the pain.

"Why do you always force me to hurt you?", she asked softly and felt the other girl's breath hitch against her face.

Her servant didn't say anything, obviously too flustered at the sudden change. Using this to her advantage, Shadow shifted her weight and managed to get the smaller girl into a lying position, falling on top of her, forcing the breath from her body.

The smaller girl's eyes widened and Shadow could feel her fear and maybe something else through their link.

Caressing her face, Shadow watched in fascination as the cheek under her fingers slowly flushed with colour and heated up at the same time.

"Don't", her servant begged weakly, trying to turn her head away.

But Shadow slid her finders into her hair, this time gently, and kept her from doing so. There was no denying the want she could feel. Not only from herself, but from her servant as well.

"Why are you doing this to me?", the smaller girl practically whimpered.

Leaning even closer, Shadow softly brushed their lips together before drawing back just enough in order to answer.

"You want this.", she whispered heatedly, "I know you do."

"No…"

But her protests were cut off when finally, finally Shadow allowed herself to press her lips to her servant's. The smaller girl whimpered in protest, pressing her lips together tightly, but it took only a moment of gentle coaxing, before they parted on a gasp and she was able to plunge her tongue deeply inside.

_So hot, so wet, so good…_

The smaller girl moaned helplessly, her fingers digging into Shadow's arms so deeply that she could feel her nails through her blouse and robe. Pushing their bodies together more tightly, Shadow could feel her servant arching up against her and nearly moaned herself.

Sinking deeper into the kiss, Shadow curled the hand, which was still on the other girl's cheek, gently around the side of her face and that's when she felt it.

Pulling back, Shadow looked down at the tear-streaked face of her servant and felt something inside her breaking. Shiny, fearful brown eyes blinked up at her, more wetness escaping and drenching her hand.

Suddenly angry with herself, Shadow pushed herself up and jumped from the couch abruptly. How could she have let herself lose control like this?

Not looking at the other girl, Shadow stalked over and grabbed the book from the coffee table throwing it into her servant's general direction without looking.

"Finish you studies.", she said briskly, "I'll go over to the castle and see if there's any change."

And without even one glance at her servant, Shadow pulled her hood up and over her head, fleeing the room as quickly as possible, her heartbeat still far too quick. What the hell had gotten into her? She needed to focus, damn it!

_/T/'H'_

"Okay, so let's go through this once more.", Draco said tiredly.

They had been sitting around the coffee table the whole day, thinking about all the ways their plan could fail.

"We will use my father's fireplace at the manor that's connected to the Ministry in order to forgo registration and hope that things haven't changed in the last months. The Department of Mysteries is on the 9th level. My father's floo connection leads to the Atrium, which is on the 8th level, therefore it should be no problem to get unseen one level higher. The possible security guard situated by the Registration Area shouldn't be a problem, as people that come through the fireplaces are never questioned and he has no way of knowing every member of the Ministry. The veil is in the Death Chamber, but we won't know what door to take, so we will have to find that out once we've reached the Entrance Room."

All of them nodded, having followed Draco's finger that had run across the plan of the Ministry while he repeated what they had come up with in the past hours.

It all sounded so easy that Harry had an especially bad feeling about all of this.

"Now that we have established how we get into the Department, we have to decide who is going to go through the veil.", Tom stated matter-of-factly, "Malfoy and I discovered that we see the same thing when we look into the mirror, so I would suggest that it's the two of us."

Harry's head snapped to the side, nearly pulling a muscle at the sudden movement. He couldn't believe this!

"What?!", he hissed, suddenly feeling hot from the anger bubbling up inside of him.

"I hate to admit it, but Riddle does have a point there.", Draco said slowly, "If our assumptions about the veil are correct, than this would be definitely the best solution. Not to mention that it's best for Harry to stay out of harm's way. We don't know what will be inside there after all."

"And leaving Potter alone is not an option.", Snape mused.

"I'm still here, damn it!", Harry burst out, his voice rising, "So would you stop talking as if I'm not in the room!"

Looking back at Tom, he glared at him, knowing that they had narrowed and were blazing. The Slytherin's gaze was unreadable.

'_I want to speak with you.'_, his hissed, _'Alone'_

Tom looked away and it almost looked as if he had sighed.

"Would you excuse us", he said, getting up.

Draco and Snape both chose not to comment on Harry's sudden outburst. Snape wordlessly gestured into the direction of his bedroom, giving them permission to use it for their talk.

Harry nodded his thanks, before simply storming off towards it. It was dark inside and he impatiently waved his hand in the general direction of the candles, lighting them and giving the room a soft glow.

The mirror across the room glinted in the firelight and almost seemed to mock him. Harry had the sudden urge to smash it and quickly turned away, knowing how easily his control still failed him when he was angry. And it had been a long time since he had been _this _angry.

As soon as he heard the door closing, he turned to face Tom. His hands were clenched into fists and felt his temper flare even more upon seeing the passive look on the other boy's face. As if they would be discussing something that didn't concern them.

"What the fuck where you thinking when you suggested that?", Harry didn't even try to keep from yelling, he had reached and passed his breaking point, "Do you really think I'd let you go in there without me?! Well, think again! We are doing this together!"

"Harry, please, be reasonable.", Tom said softly, not having moved from his place by the door.

Harry felt the urge to grab onto his shoulders and shake some sense into the Slytherin.

"Is this a joke? _I_ am the one you are telling to be reasonable?! Tell it to yourself, Tom! You think you can treat me as if I was your little wife and simply sit around and wait until you come back?! I don't fucking think so!", he hissed, trembling with anger.

Tom's own eyes narrowed a bit, but there was no other indication that he was becoming angry as well. He was so much in control of himself that Harry wanted to scream.

"This is not about treating you like a wife, Harry, it's about protecting you!", Tom said sharply, without raising his voice, "I want you safe, don't you understand?! I _need_ you to be safe!"

Harry snorted, pushing a hand into his hair and was sure that he ripped some out in the process. Feeling like a caged animal, he paced on one of the many carpets in Snape's bedroom, his steps muffled by it.

Tom remained motionless, as he had always done when they argued. Harry couldn't recall one time he had ever seen the other boy move while they fought. It was just another form of dispassion and only managed to irritate him further.

Harry's next words were accompanied by angrily flaring his arms, desperate to relieve some of his energy.

"Even better! Now I slipped one step lower and get to be you _child_, Tom! I fucking fought that asshole since before you came into my life, I don't need you to bloody protect me! I can take care of myself and I sure as hell can make my own decisions! You have no right to take that away from me! You think I'll follow you around blindly again? Well, sorry to disappoint you, but that's not going to happen! I will not leave you!"

Finally Tom looked stung by his words, but the expression didn't last for long as irritation replaced it. Finally.

"This isn't about us, Harry! This is about _you_!", he hissed, anger becoming clear at last, "I'm very well aware of the number of times you faced him and you'll have to do it again! And guess what, in order to do that you have to be _alive_! It's not only me that needs you, it's the whole damn wizarding world! It's not something you can choose, it's a choice they made for you when they made you their hero and as much as you might hate it it's not going to change! You'll never be free of him if you don't kill him and I want to give that chance to you!"

Harry couldn't believe Tom was bringing up the 'hero-issue'.

"Fuck you, Tom!", he snapped, "Just fuck you! You think you can play the guilt card now?! Well, newsflash, I don't care! What does it matter if I'm alive and you aren't? Do you really think I would be able to fight without you?!"

"I don't think, I _know_.", Tom said quietly, but firmly, "You are much stronger than you give yourself credit and you don't need me to do this! You are able to defeat him without me, if must be."

"This is not about me being able to defeat him on my own, it's about not being able to live without you!", Harry all but shouted, thinking that if he said it loud enough than maybe Tom would finally understand it, "Don't you already know what a fucking good job you have done in fulfilling your orders?! Your orders were to make me weak, to make me depend on you. So congratulations for fulfilling your task!"

The silence that followed this last statement was deafening. They stared at each other, Harry trembling and with burning eyes and Tom unmoving and almost stoic.

Suddenly, something in the atmosphere shifted and Tom's eyes changed, becoming softer and deeper as he slowly closed the space between them.

When he finally touched him it was gentle and all of the anger Harry had previously felt turned to fierce desperation.

Grabbing onto Tom almost roughly, he tugged his head down to his own and crashed their lips together. Tom opened his mouth to Harry's insistent tongue, his arms sliding around him and drawing him tightly against his taller form.

It was a harsh kiss that tasted of desperation and need, their teeth getting in the way, leaving their lips swollen and hurting. It tasted salty from the few tears that had managed to escape Harry's eyes and he only tried to press closer, in order to conceal them.

But Tom knew, of course, turning his head to the side to press his mouth to his cheeks, licking at the tears and caressing his face.

"I don't want you to go", Harry mumbled, his fingers buried in Tom's hair.

They were pressed together, feeling each other's quick heartbeat and breathing each other's air. Harry's chest felt so tight he wasn't sure if he wouldn't choke.

"I know", Tom muttered, his lips brushing over his own with every word.

Harry drew their mouths together once again, but this time it was gentle.

"Promise you will come back", he whispered into Tom's soft lips.

Tom drew back only enough to lean their foreheads together and look deeply into Harry's eyes.

"As long as there is breath in my body, I'll do anything to come back to you"

_/T/'H'_

"I really don't like this, Draco."

Draco wasn't looking at him, his gaze fixed onto he swaying trees outside.

"I know", he said quietly, finally turning to look him in the eye, "But it's the best option."

Harry bit his tongue, not wanting to argue with his friend about this. They would leave for Malfoy Manor in a few hours and there was no point in starting a discussion now that everything had already been planned.

This didn't mean, of course, that Harry liked it any better.

Focusing back on Draco, he studied the blonde's profile, seeing as the other had turned to look back out of the window once again. The Slytherin's expression was blank, but Harry could see the tension in Draco's posture.

"Are you scared?", he asked quietly, never taking his eyes off the other boy.

Draco tore his gaze away from the Hogwarts grounds and looked back at him.

"…Yes…yes, I'm scared."

"Me too", Harry felt the now familiar knot in his chest, not remembering when exactly he had been able to breathe freely lately, "I'm scared for both of you, Draco."

They looked into each other's eyes for a moment, everything still around them, before the Slytherin stepped forward and wrapped Harry in an embrace. Harry returned it, letting his head lean onto the taller boy's shoulder and feeling Draco doing the same.

He loved how his friendship with Draco was full of touches and physical affection. So different from what he was used from Ron.

"It will be alright, Harry.", he whispered, stroking lightly over his back in a comforting way, "I'll take care of him for you."

"Thank you.", Harry swallowed trying not to sound too choked, "Just make sure that the two of you return safely to me, okay? I need you here. Both of you."

Draco's hold tightened and Harry could feel his breath on the side of his face as he turned his face towards his own. It stirred some of his long strands.

"We'll be back.", Draco said softly, before pulling back gently and looking him in the eye with the smallest of smiles tugging at the corners of his mouth, "I guess before we get even more sentimental, I should go and look over the plan once more. There's not too much time left."

Harry straightened and tried to wipe his eyes as discreetly as possible, before running a hand through his hair and looking up at the Slytherin.

"You're right", he said firmly, "We have no time for this."

Draco looked at him, suddenly serious again and raised a hand to cup the side of his face and run a gentle finger over his cheek.

"I love you", it wasn't more than a whisper, just loud enough for Harry to hear it, "I just wanted to tell you in case…"

Feeling his eyes burn again, Harry quickly silenced the other boy by placing a finger over his lips.

"Shhh…It's okay. I love you, too. Now get out."

Draco smiled sadly at him, both knowing that Harry's reply had been meant in an entirely different way than his.

"I'll see you tonight.", was everything he said.

"Yes, tonight", Harry replied softly, watching the other boy leaving the room.

Harry had never believed in any kind of god, but right now he simply closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the cold glass, praying to anyone that might hear him.


	34. Chapter 34

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J.K.Rowling, and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hello, guys, i hope you haven't forgotten all about me yet! i'm SO sorry that it took so long for me to update! but i was so very stressed out with school that my muse left for vacation and i couldn't even form one proper sentence! all the better that she decided to return today, cause i finished this chapter just today. i'm sitting here since late afternoon and was determind to finish it today and post it as well. i just knew that if i waited even a few hours, i would be too tired agian or sth.

i have my finals next week, so i hope that the next chapter won't be as long as this one. pls, even if it takes some time, don't leave me! i have no intention of ever discontinuing this story, so no worries!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for all these most lovely reviews you left me & pls keep it up! love you all!

i really hope that it isn't lacking any of my usual style, cause it's been quite some time since i was able to write properly again, but i thought it was okay and was so glad that i managed it all today that i was less harsh with myself than usual :).

enjoy!

**Chapter 34**

The castle was dark, not one of the many windows bearing any light. At least not on this side. Draco had told them that his mother was residing in the east wing. He had also said that this was because Lucius had wanted her as far away from him and his son as possible. Harry didn't think that Draco had been joking.

Malfoy Manor was bigger than he had imagined. It was a small castle with huge grounds and it's own stables. He couldn't believe how a family with only three people could live in such a monstrosity. And now Narcissa was alone in there… Harry shuddered at the thought. Used to small spaces, the idea of living in such a big place was frightening. It had taken him long enough to get used to Hogwarts - and that was full of people.

The night was cold and Harry drew his cloak tighter around himself. They had apparated through the wards, but into the garden instead of into the Entrance Hall. Draco had said, that the possibility of being detected by Narcissa was smaller this way.

When the three of them sneaked in through the kitchen's back door, Harry felt more like a thief than ever and wondered how it must be for Draco to break into his own home.

Snape obviously knew the castle as well as his own home and Harry simply followed the two taller forms as the three of them silently made their way up a few flights of stairs. His heart was hammering too loud and his nerves were far too strained, for him to look around. Much later he would be surprised how little he remembered this excursion.

Lucius' office was dark, like everything else in the manor, but also looked as if there hadn't been anyone there for a long time. Harry glanced over at Draco, trying to make out his expression, but the other boy was turned away from him and making his way immediately over to the fireplace, without looking anywhere else.

Snape was the one that grabbed a small and very delicate looking box from the mantelshelf and threw powder into the fire that Draco had lit only seconds before. Even the soft red light was almost blinding to Harry, having gotten used to the darkness.

The fire turned green and Harry had to narrow his eyes, feeling them tearing slightly. He tried not to think about the few times he had to travel this way in the past, having hated every one of them with a passion.

"I'll go first.", Snape told them unnecessarily.

They had talked through this so often that Harry could chant it backwards. Nevertheless both Draco and him nodded, watching the tall wizard as he stepped into the green flames and uttered their destination: "The Atrium – Ministry of Magic".

The familiar rushing noise was loud in Harry's ears and now he had to finally close his eyes as the fire shone even brighter. When he reopened them, the fireplace was empty and the light had turned red once again.

Not wasting any time, Harry drew out his Invisibility Cloak from one of his many pockets and threw it over them at the same time that Draco did the powder into the fireplace.

Together they stepped into the once again green flames and Harry let Draco do the talking, not trusting himself to do it right. He almost smiled when he remembered the time when he had fallen out of Borgin and Burkes' fireplace so long ago and then had to hide form none other than Draco.

Closing his eyes, Harry held on to his friend tightly and was glad that he wasn't travelling alone, because he had the mild suspicion that if he had been, he wouldn't have been able to remain upright.

Snape was already awaiting them, his expression tight and his long fingers clenched into fists. The only thing missing was the tip of his shoe tapping the floor.

There were no words exchanged as their professor turned and they fell in step behind him.

The Atrium was exactly as he remembered it. Their shoes clicking slightly on the polished wooden floor as they walked down the long hall. Harry was careful to keep them covered, tugging the cloak slightly on his side and feeling Draco doing the same. The cloak had simply gotten too small for two nearly full-grown men, as small as Harry might be.

The golden light from the ever-changing symbols on the ceiling cast an eerie light on them as they followed Snape past the dozens of other fireplaces.

Careful to remain unseen as long as possible, keeping in the shadows of the Fountain of Magical Brethen, the three of them moved into the direction of the elevators. The security guard was a middle-aged witch that was filling out cross-word riddles, and hardly spared Snape one glance, before her eyes glued themselves back onto the page in front of her.

The professor's long legs were so quick that Harry and Draco only managed to catch up with him at the elevators, where he was impatiently waiting for them once again.

Upon entering one of the free lifts, Draco discreetly brushed against his godfather to alert him of their presence and Snape immediately reacted by pushing one of the buttons.

When he felt them moving upwards, Harry couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. He tried not to be worried at how easily they had passed through the Reception Area and focused on what was about to come instead.

Harry tried to keep the flashbacks at bay as the elevator doors opened a short while later, the familiar dispassionate female voice announcing that they had reached: 'Level 9 – Department of Mysteries'

The hall they stepped into was as deserted as the one downstairs and neither of the three hesitated as they made their way to the only door a few feet away. Snape reached out and slowly closed his long fingered hand around the handle, slowly pushing downwards.

Cold, blue light flooded out of the circular Entrance Room. It was even less welcoming than Harry remembered it to be and he felt himself shivering.

Upon entering, Harry itched to take off the Invisibility Cloak. He hated all of this sneaking around. He would have liked to simply barge in and get his godfather out of there. Whose fault was it that they were here in the first place, anyway?

_-Yours_

_-Shut up._

Forcing all of the thoughts that weren't connected to their mission from his head, Harry raised his hand.

"_Flagrate_", he whispered and watched as a big red mark appeared on the door they had just come from.

As soon as the red light mixed with the blue, indicating that the mark was indeed firmly set, Snape let the door fall shut silently.

Immediately the doors began to spin, turning the red mark into a blur and forcing all of them to look away as to not get dizzy.

When the doors froze again, the Entrance door was somewhere to their left. Letting his gaze wander over the other black doors without handles, Harry wondered what door could be the right one.

He hated this room, with all of its blackness and if it hadn't been for the icy blue light and the now soft red glow from their flagged door, Harry would have felt as if he had been swallowed by a black hole.

He wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible.

"Which one are we going to take first?", Harry asked softly, looking at the other two.

It was a somewhat reassuring feeling that for once it wasn't just him that had to make decisions, but that he could ask questions as well and not automatically be forced to lead everyone else.

"I doesn't make a difference either way.", Draco said, shrugging, "Let's start with the one opposite of it. I doubt that sticking to a pattern would be of any help."

"Probably not", Snape agreed.

With two long strides he was at the door opposite of the one from which they had entered and Harry could feel that Draco was as much holding his breath as he himself was.

The door swung open easily and soundlessly, only to reveal…

…another door.

Both Draco and Harry exhaled heavily at the same time and Harry was almost sure that he could see Snape's shoulders relaxing as well.

"It's 'The Ever-Locked Room'.", Snape said absentmindedly.

They both knew that, of course, having done nothing but study everything about the Department of Mysteries in the past weeks.

"_Flagrate_", Harry said once again.

This time a circle appeared, marking the door as 'seen', but at the same time not confusing them as to what door the actual exit was.

Snape shut it again and Harry closed his eyes as all of the doors began to spin again. The next door they tried revealed the 'Thought Chamber' with its low hanging golden chains that lit the rectangular room and the door after that led into the 'Space Chamber' with the floating planets Harry could still remember from the last time he had been here.

By the time Harry flagged the third door, all of them where becoming slightly frustrated. Time was not on their side and Harry could feel the distant, nagging feeling of panic creeping up on him. This was their only chance, they couldn't afford to waste it.

Suppressing the urge to run a hand through his hair, Harry concentrated on the door Snape was currently opening. A large dimly lit room that looked similar to an amphitheatre was revealed and Harry nearly fainted with relief. This was it. Finally they had found the 'Death Chamber'.

/T/'H'

It was as Harry remembered it to be: a large dimly lit, rectangular room with stone tiers as benches heading down to a pit in the centre. There, on a raised stone dais, was the veil - a big arch with a tattered black curtain hanging from it, moving although there was no wind.

He knew every little detail of the damn thing, was sick of seeing it and hated it for not only taking Sirius from him, but for the fact that it would take Tom and Draco as well.

Harry felt a warm hand sliding into his own and long fingers interlacing with his. Looking to the side, he caught Tom's soft gaze as the taller boy squeezed them gently before letting go again. It made Harry's heart ache.

They made their way towards the pit swiftly, not wanting to lose any more time. Snape was the first to reach it, carefully inspecting it. Draco was standing beside his godfather, an unreadable look on his face. The both turned their backs on them then and Harry was grateful for that.

Turning towards Tom, he simply stepped into the taller boy's embrace, holding on so tight that his fingers hurt where he was clutching onto Tom's robe.

The Slytherin was warm and solid against him, his longer arms wrapping just as tightly around his smaller frame and crushing him against his chest.

Breathing in deeply, Harry placed a soft kiss on Tom's throat, pressing his lids firmly together to keep his eyes from spilling over. Tom's hand was cupping the nape of his neck and Harry followed the silent request blindly, his lips yielding immediately to Tom's desperate kiss.

It was over sooner than Harry would have liked, leaving him breathless and in need of more of Tom's touch. They parted reluctantly and without words. There was nothing left to say that hadn't been said already.

Making their way over to Draco and Snape, who had just embraced as well, Harry hugged the blonde Slytherin one more time, briefly, but tightly, before stepping back.

"Be careful.", Snape said.

Harry didn't say anything. He doubted that he would have been able to force words past his closed up throat even if he had wanted to.

His vision was blurry, but he was afraid to blink. Finally, when his eyes were burning so bad and he couldn't take it anymore he closed his eyes for a small moment, before opening them again immediately – only to discover that Tom and Draco were indeed gone.

A big, warm hand suddenly landed on his shoulder and Harry looked up in surprise.

Snape's expression was softer than he had ever seen it, his forehead wearing a small concerned frown.

"Let's sit down.", was all he said as he led Harry over to the closest of the benches.

Wordlessly Harry let himself be pushed gently onto it. He was already seeking out Tom in his mind, trying to find out what was going on.

Quicker than he would have thought, Harry managed to clink himself into Tom's mind, using something that only the Slytherin usually did: he concentrated only on him and saw through Tom's eyes.

/T/'H'

The mist was thick at first and Tom had to blink a few times in order to make out anything at all. There wasn't much to be seen, anyway, but at least some shadows streaked through the never-ending whiteness.

Glancing to his side, he saw that Malfoy had done the same. Both of them were unnaturally close. So close that their arms kept touching, which was more reassuring than annoying, a fact Tom tried not to think about.

Taking another few steps the mist was suddenly gone, just as sudden as it had appeared. Blinking again, this time out of surprise, Tom glanced back over his shoulder, only to discover that the mist was still behind them, like a big white wall.

Turning back around, the Slytherin decided that this was not the time for unnecessary musings and instead looked around the room they were standing in. He would have recognized it anywhere. It was Harry's and his room at Hogwarts.

Nothing looked out of the ordinary. There was even the same book, marked on the same page, sitting on the coffee table. Tom remembered having stopped reading it only a few weeks ago, when the pressure about finding out more about the Department of Mysteries and the veil had become too much to concentrate on anything else.

Malfoy had obviously recognized the room as well and stood stock still to his left. They were both obviously thinking about the same thing. If this was supposed to be Harry's room, wasn't there supposed to be a Harry as well?

As if having summoned him, the door opened and inside stepped Harry. Tom's chest tightened and he could feel his throat drying up.

Harry was looking just like he always did when he came into the room after classes. His robes open, showing his uniform underneath, the tie loose around his neck and the book bag hanging hazardously off his shoulder.

Closing the door, he looked up and met Tom's eyes, a smile almost immediately lifting the corners of his mouth and Tom could feel his own mouth quirking up automatically. He never had been able to resist him in the first place.

When Harry approached him, his smile widened slightly. He was so close to him that Tom was about to reach out to him, when suddenly Harry turned to look at Malfoy instead, fixating the other Slytherin with an intense gaze.

Tom frowned, suspicious of the strange behaviour and immediately felt jealousy flickering alive deep inside of him, like a dried out wood suddenly bursting into flames.

All at once, motion seemed to come back to this bizarre scene and only seconds later, Harry had practically fallen into Malfoy's startled arms, the pale boy's face flushing with colour and his eyes wide with shock.

If Tom wouldn't have been rooted in place, he might have stepped forward and yanked Harry from the other boy's grasp. If he wouldn't have been too busy just trying to keep drawing breath into his lungs, he might have said something to come between the two of them.

But he just couldn't. The air around him was thick and his body numb, something inside him breaking slowly and very, very painfully.

His stomach was turning and he was feeling so sick that he thought he might be forced to empty it sometime soon. His thoughts that had been frozen until then, started to rush through his mind so fast he couldn't even grasp them properly.

This just wasn't right, this couldn't be, Harry would never do this to him – but he had done it before, had hurt him before…but Tom had hurt him first, had betrayed him first – was this payback? Was Harry hurting him on purpose?

Suddenly familiar arms wrapped around him from behind and Tom was torn from his thoughts and whirling around to attack whoever had touched him in a moment like this. He hated being touched. He hated being touched by anyone but –

"Harry…?"

Green eyes met his own and Tom felt faint.

Harry smiled, but Tom couldn't bring himself to return it. Turning his head he looked at Malfoy, who was still holding the _other_ Harry and then back to the one standing close to him.

His heart was hammering in his chest and he couldn't remember ever having felt this desperate before. Deep self-hatred flared up inside him. How could he ever have let things come this far? How could he ever have let himself become this vulnerable?

"It's okay, Tom.", Harry said softy, slowly closing the space between them, "I'm never going to leave you."

Harry's warm fingers met his skin and Tom wanted to flinch away as much as he wanted to pull him closer. He needed Harry, but something wasn't right and he just knew it.

But Harry's hands were on him now, caressing his face and sliding into his hair and he could feel Harry's lips pressing against the nearest patch of skin they found as his arms wrapped around Tom's shoulders in an all too familiar gesture. His smaller body was pressing into his own, his hands never having stopped moving and Tom was almost unable to think, torn between confusion, suspicion and need.

Almost as if in trance, Tom's arms came up to wrap around Harry, feeling Harry's hands pressing into his back, burning his skin and making him press even closer.

Harry always had that effect on him and it still scared him sometimes. He'd come a long way, but often asked himself if he would ever get used to the feelings that the Gryffindor was able to evoke in him.

Harry's fringe brushed his cheek as the smaller boy titled his head up to press his lips to his jaw. Tom obliged on instinct, moving his head so their mouths could meet in a gentle kiss.

Harry's lips were pliant under his own, as they always were, but still…this just felt wrong somehow…it didn't feel real enough, didn't burn enough.

Wanting to draw back, Tom backed away, but Harry followed him, opening his mouth to capture his lips in a more insistent kiss. It felt almost as if Harry was forcing it upon him.

_/Tom!/_

As if stung, Tom almost jumped back, tearing is lips away and pushing Harry away with more force than he had intended.

This wasn't Harry. At least not _his_ Harry.

Wiping his mouth, Tom watched as the fake-Harry's eyes turned from confusion to annoyance, before his smaller form simply vanished in a cloud of mist.

Breathing in deeply, Tom finally was able to gather his wits around himself again, focusing his thought back on the reason why they had actually come: Sirius.

'_Thank you'_

Tom wasn't sure if Harry could even hear him, their bond had been off from the moment he had stepped into the veil, but maybe he could feel it somehow.

Turning to Malfoy, he almost gagged when he saw that the second fake-Harry was all over the pale boy, kissing him passionately, messing up his perfect blond hair.

_It's not real._, Tom tried to ground himself, tried not to let the scene before him affect him,_ It's not real._

Taking another deep breath, Tom braced himself, feeling more like himself than he had in the past hour.

A few quick strides brought him directly to the still kissing pair. Without any warning, he grabbed the fake-Harry and tore him out of Malfoy's grasp roughly, throwing the smaller boy across the room in one harsh movement, reminding himself over and over that this wasn't his Harry.

Malfoy, obviously completely disoriented, made an incomprehensible, but shocked sound.

"Malfoy, he's not real.", Tom said calmly, trying to bring the blonde back to his senses without having to touch him.

"Don't listen to him, Draco!", 'Harry' said fiercely, straightening and tugging at his robes to straighten them, all the while glaring at Tom, "He's just jealous!"

"Harry…", Draco said softly, taking a shaky step into the smaller boy's direction.

"Yes, Draco, it's okay, I'm here.", 'Harry' soothed him with a gentle voice, "Just come here and I promise we can be together. Really together."

Malfoy seemed almost delirious, making a move as if to follow fake-Harry's cajoling.

Seeing that it just wouldn't work without, Tom finally grabbed onto Malfoy's shoulders, shaking him in the hope of getting some sense back into his fogged brain.

Instead of coming back to himself, Malfoy flinched under his touch and tried to shake him off, hitting him in the chest and almost landing a blow in his face, if Tom hadn't been quick enough to back away in time.

Enough was enough. Tom hated when people didn't do as he told them to. And he especially hated it when people got on his nerves and delaying him. Both of which was the case at the moment.

"Malfoy, snap out of it!", Tom barked, just before the sharp smacking sound of his hand meeting Malfoy's soft cheek echoed around the room, "We are here to get Harry's godfather back, so would you get a fucking grip?!"

The blonde stood rigid before him, every muscle in his body having tensed, his gaze on him, but unseeing, hair still mussed.

Tom tightened his grip on the other boy's shoulders. If Malfoy didn't get over his damn fit anytime soon, he was seriously going to hurt him. He'd never understand what the hell Harry saw in the git.

Finally Malfoy's eyes seemed to focus again and the misty grey turned silver once again as he came back to reality. His pale cheek was tinged with red, Tom's fingers visible where he'd hit the aristocrat.

Blinking slowly, Malfoy focused on him at last, recognition flashing through his gaze.

"Thank you.", Malfoy's voice was hoarse and slightly shaky when he said it.

It was the last thing that Tom has expected to hear, but it settled his too high-strung nerves more that he would have believed that any word uttered by Malfoy could ever accomplish.

Annoyed at his own thoughts, Tom let go of the other boy as if having burned himself. Glancing around the room, Tom was relieved that fake-Harry II was nowhere to be seen.

"Let's go.", he bit out over his shoulder, already halfway across the room, before Malfoy followed him.

/T/'H'

The sun shining down on them was bright and hot and such a sharp contrast to the cool castle they had been in earlier, that Tom had to close his eyes for a moment in order to keep himself upright as sudden dizziness hit him.

"Where the fuck are we?", he asked, once he was able to at least gaze at Malfoy through slitted eyes.

Malfoy's icy glare was back to its usual sharpness, the previous incident seemingly completely forgotten.

"And how am I supposed to know, Mr Wonderful?", he snapped back, "It was your glorious idea that brought us here in the first place – wherever the fuck 'here' is supposed to be anyway…"

Tom could feel his frustration and anger mounting once again. Malfoy just made his damn skin crawl!

"Yeah, but seeing as how worked up you were by the time we tried to think about Black and wanting to rescue him, maybe you sent us to god knows where!", he bit back, knowing exactly which buttons to push to make the pale boy flush with embarrassment and anger – just as he was now.

"Fuck you, Riddle!", Malfoy snapped.

Tom rolled his eyes, a small but triumphant smirk already tugging at his lips for having managed to once again win another of their verbal fights.

"Eloquent as ever, Malfoy.", he drawled lazily, taking his time to look around and inspect their surroundings, which was nothing more than a few cottages, "And people call you intelligent?"

Suddenly Tom caught sight of something he had been hoping to find.

"You-", Malfoy began to retort, his voice dripping acid, but Tom unceremoniously cut him off.

"Look over there.", he pointed at a sign only a few feet away.

Malfoy glared at him, but turned his head to look at it nevertheless, squinting his eyes slightly against the bright sunlight.

"Godric's Hollow", he read aloud, before turning slightly widened eyes back to Tom, "What the hell are we doing in Godric's Hollow?"

"Well, we probably won't find out if we remain standing here.", Tom drawled, opening his robe and loosening his tie to open some of his shirt-buttons as well.

Malfoy opened his mouth as if to make a biting retort, but surprisingly thought better of it and turned his head to make his own picture of the town. Frowning slightly, he pointed at something to Tom's right.

"Look at this", he said, "It looks exactly like the roof of the house Lily and James Potter were killed in, with the only difference that it's actually in one piece."

Turning his own head rather sharply, Tom followed Malfoy's finger, staring at a tall cottage with a big, nicely kept garden surrounding it. It looked nice, but not extraordinary. Just a normal home.

What had it looked like after Voldemort had been here? How much of it had been destroyed? Had the explosion set something on fire? Had there been mist, smoke, ashes?

Tom swallowed, tearing his eyes away and feeling sick.

"But I wonder why we're able to see it?", Malfoy mused on, "If it's undamaged, then this means that Voldemort hasn't been here yet. And if that's true, then the Fidelius Charm would have to be still in place."

"It's not the real world here, Malfoy.", Tom said softly, "Voldemort probably doesn't even exist here."

_I probably don't exist here…_

"Let's have a closer look.", the other boy said, choosing to leave Tom alone with his deeper thoughts and starting off into the direction of the cottage.

Tom followed him, silent for once.

The walk wasn't long, but with every step Tom felt hotter in his winter robes. The sun was relentless and by the look of its axis, it had to be around lunchtime, making the air even thicker.

When he finally broke out in sweat all over, Tom decided that it was time to take off his robes. He made them vanish along with his tie, unbuttoning a few more buttons on his shirt, fighting the desire to open it completely. He was no fan of the heat, and by the sound of Malfoy's complains, neither was he.

"Why the hell does it have to be so hot?", the other boy whined, as they turned into the street where the Potter's house was.

"Maybe if you would take off some of your clothes, you'd be a bit more comfortable.", Tom retorted, annoyed.

Malfoy stared at him as if he'd lost his mind.

"These are a _designer brand_, Riddle! I can't just make them vanish! It would be a crime!", he was obviously seriously scandalized by Tom's suggestion.

The dark-haired Slytherin only rolled his eyes and snorted.

"Merlin, you're such a queen, Malfoy.", he scoffed.

The other boy's eyes snapped to his own, his mouth already opening to start yet another fight, but cheerful laughter made him close it again to turn his head and find out the source.

"Come now, Harry, dear, lunch is ready.", a soft female voice was saying, "You can play some more afterwards."

"C'mon, Lily, he was doing so great just now!", a male voice protested.

"Lunch. Now. All of you.", the woman said firmly, "You have enough time to play with him later, Sirius."

Malfoy and Tom looked at each other sharply, before quickly creeping closer to the garden.

Tom felt ridiculous as he crouched behind a hedge, seeing Malfoy doing the same out of the corner of his eye, and trying to see something through the branches.

Sure enough, they could make out Lily Potter, holding what looked like a two or three year old Harry, James Potter beside her, currently smiling down at his wife and son, Remus Lupin, sitting in the grass with toys in his lap smiling widely, and beside the werewolf sat Sirius Black, looking strangely out of place because of his older features.

"There he is!", Malfoy whispered unnecessarily.

"Really, where?", Tom drawled sarcastically.

Malfoy glared at him, but refrained from saying anything else, choosing to turn his attention back to the people in the garden.

"Sirius was trying to teach him to fly.", James was saying, tousling his son's hair, that already looked so much like his own, gently.

"He's just a _toddler_, James!", Lily said, obviously not as thrilled as her husband.

"The earlier, the better.", Sirius said, smiling disarmingly at the redhead.

Lily just shook her head.

"Come now, all of you, I would like to eat _before_ it gets cold."

"I honestly doubt that it will get too cold today, Lily.", Remus said, smiling softly.

"He does have a point there, you know.", James grinned, kissing Lily's cheek as they made their way over to the table that had been set up under a giant tree, casting a big enough shadow that all of them could enjoy their meal without sitting in the burning sun.

"So what are your ideas on this, Mr I'm-so-smart?", Malfoy taunted him as they watched them sitting down.

Tom glared at him.

"As a matter of fact, I think the direct approach would probably be the best."

"Direct approach?", Malfoy asked slowly, "As in going up to their table and demanding that Black should come to his senses and follow us out of here?"

"Precisely."

"Are you out of your mind?!", Malfoy's look mirrored his statement.

"You have a better idea?", he drawled, raising an eyebrow.

"Fine, but if they attack us you can see that they won't hit us with anything."

"If they attack us I'll save my own skin and hope that you'll drop dead.", Tom hissed, rising to his feet.

Merlin did he want to get rid of that git! He couldn't wait to get out of here. And back to Harry…

By the time that Malfoy and himself had covered the distance from the small garden-door to the table, Tom was feeling slightly uneasy.

When they reached them finally, everyone slowly turned their head to look at them in utter surprise.

"Who the hell are you?", Sirius was the first to speak, which suited Tom perfectly.

The other man looked even older now that he was closer. Still handsome, but definitely older than all of the other people around the table.

"Black, we don't have too much time, but we need you to come with us. It's about Harry, he needs you.", Tom said, having no interest to beat around the bush.

Something inside him told him that their time was running out and it made Tom anxious and uncaring of how they would manage to drag Black back with them.

"What the hell are you talking about?", James asked then, "Harry is right here!"

Tom's gaze didn't waver as it bored into Black's blue eyes.

"Black, this is serious.", he said calmly, "It's time for you to let go of your fantasy world and come back to the real one with us. Do you understand? Let it go."

"Sirius-"

"What-"

"Let. It. Go.", Tom said again, his voice even firmer, putting emphasis on every word and drowning out all of the other voices that had suddenly risen in confusion.

Slowly all of the other people, the fake-people, became quieter, their lips still moving but almost no sound escaping. It was as if they were far, far away or trapped into soundproof bubbles.

Sirius was staring at them in utter shock and what looked like fear.

"Harry…needs me?", he asked slowly, uncertainly.

"Yes.", it was Malfoy that spoke up now, stepping up beside Tom.

The world around them started to lose its colour, fading slowly with every thought that Sirius focused back on where he had actually come from and whom he'd left behind.

"We need you to come with us.", Malfoy said it this time, which Tom was fine with.

Somehow he was feeling sick all of a sudden. The uneasiness that had grown with each minute he had spent in this fake-world had become something he was no longer able to ignore.

He felt dizzy and couldn't focus on Malfoy and Black's conversation any longer. His thoughts turned inwards as he tried to seek out Harry. He needed Harry, he needed him so bad right at this moment. He was feeling faint and simply too far away from him…needed him…needed him now…

Frantically he tried to make a connection, tried to talk to him or simply feel him, but all that he got was the faint notion that Harry was slipping from him or that he was slipping from Harry or that they were slipping away from each other…his head was hurting, bursting – the more he tried to focus, the more it hurt, the longer he was trapped here, the further they seemed to be pushed apart and the world was spinning and he was hurting and he couldn't breathe and everything was just slipping and black, black, back…

/T/'H'

He could feel that something was wrong before he saw it.

Harry felt as if he had suddenly banged headlong into a barrier, while Tom moved on, resulting in their minds to be torn apart so abruptly, that Harry was unable to grasp even one coherent thought.

The only thing he could remember before blackness took him was the panic filled thought of being alone. Tom wasn't there anymore. He couldn't feel him.

_-and the world was spinning and he was hurting and he couldn't breathe and everything was just slipping and black, black, back…_


	35. Chapter 35

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J., and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hello everyone - pls don't kill me! i'm SO sorry i took ages to update, but you wouldn't believe how much stress i had in my life recently. i hope at least some of you are still with me. i can only apologise... and i will reassure you again that i will finish this story, even though i can't promise how quick it will be. the only thing i promise is that i will try to update more quickly. we are nearing the end, after all ;).

pls, pls let me know how you liked it - the ones who are still interested in the story anyway...

a big THANK YOU to all the people who have reviewed so far - i hope you are still with me!

enjoy!

p.s.: if someone asked me something and i haven't answered, then i'm terribly sorry! just ask me again in case the answer wasn't in this chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 35**

When Harry felt himself slowly slipping back to awareness every part of his body hurt. The air on his face was icy, his fingers and toes stiff from not having been moved in a while and he wondered why the rest of his body wasn't colder.

It took him a while before he realised that everything around him was moving. He tried to shift, but his body wouldn't obey. Feeling arms around him, Harry realised that someone must be carrying him. And they were moving quickly. The pain in his head grew stronger with every step the person holding him took.

Trying to move slightly in the other's arms again, Harry wasn't really sure that he had achieved anything at all, but maybe he had because suddenly the person stopped. He was lowered to the ground, which was warm and soft and a stark, strange contrast to the freezing wind sweeping through his hair. Harry realised that he was probably in the other's lap.

A large but gentle hand patted his cheek, obviously attempting to rouse him without the help of magic.

"Potter", a deep voice said, "Potter, wake up"

A sound Harry had never heard himself make before escaped his dry throat and he tried with all his might to peel his too heavy lids open. It seemed to take an eternity until he finally managed it.

His sight was blurry, even though he could feel that his glasses were in place and the darkness of a starless night didn't help him recognise his saviour – or his captor?

Harry struggled slightly in order to sit up, but the other person didn't let him.

"Don't move, you fool!", he hissed and suddenly Harry knew who it was.

"Snape…", he mumbled almost inaudibly.

"How are you feeling?", Snape asked gruffly, still keeping his voice down.

Harry was still unable to get his aching head to string even two coherent thoughts together. Blinking, he tried to find an answer to Snape's question, letting the words of his professor run through his mind once more to be sure that he had understood him properly.

"…Hurts…my head-", suddenly Harry fell silent.

Tom.

Almost panicking, Harry tried to concentrate enough to detect the other boy in his mind. Not caring if he hurt himself further, he forced himself to focus. For a moment all he found was emptiness. It was as if he was floating in nothingness, trying to glimpse or feel something, anything, but at the same time being suffocated by the fear that there was nothing to be found.

Suddenly – buried deeply and almost unreachable – he felt him. He could feel that Tom was weaker than Harry ever thought he could be and unconscious.

The panic that had risen so suddenly and fiercely slowly subsided, leaving only fear and concern.

"Potter", he heard Snape calling him - it sounded far away, "Potter!"

Snapping out of his almost trance, Harry sank even further into the Potions Master, exhausted from his own emotions as well as the explorations of his aching brain, the icy air doing little to clear his thoughts.

"Sirius? Draco?", he managed to croak out, memories slowly coming back to him, although they were few and with big blanks in-between.

"Fine.", Snape looked almost relieved upon seeing Harry making an effort to come back to his senses, "They took another path. We are being chased, so we decided to split up."

Harry was still struggling, both with staying conscious and with processing what the Potions Master was telling him.

"Chased?", he asked, almost voiceless, his throat protesting vehemently, the coldness not helping, "By whom?"

"The Ministry.", Snape said shortly, "But there is no time for this. We need to keep moving. Hogwarts is not far, but we cannot use magic, the Aurors chasing us will know immediately. Can you walk?"

Harry tried to move, but almost fainted again at the pain. Trying hard to concentrate on the problem at hand, Harry couldn't help but miss Tom. He needed him so much right now…but for once it was Harry that had to protect them both. Tom needed _him_ for a change – and Harry would do anything in his power not to disappoint him.

"No", he almost panted, "Aurors, right?"

Snape nodded, his face dark and his forehead bearing a frown of worry.

"They have been trained to detect wands and be alerted when one uses them, right? They have no means to detect protected, wandless magic?"

His professor's frown deepened.

"There is hardly anyone that is capable of such magic."

"I could do it.", Harry said hoarsely, "But apparation is no use to us on the Hogwarts grounds, not to mention that I would be unable to apperate us in the state I am in, but maybe I could summon brooms."

"Even if that might be the case, Potter, the risk would be a great one."

"What other choice do we have? And the anti-apparation spells might help, cause even if they detected us, they wouldn't be able to come here quick enough to catch us."

"Point taken.", Snape relented, "But even the hero of the wizarding world can't find energy in a state like this."

"Who said it was going to be my energy?", Harry said, looking carefully at Snape, "I said my magic. The energy has to be yours."

The Potions Master stared at him.

"Dark Magic, Potter?"

"There is no such thing as Dark Magic, Snape. Dark Magic was something the Ministry made us believe existed to scare and restrict us. Magic is Magic, it depends on the wizard what he does with it.", Harry said quietly, repeating the words Tom had said to him when he taught him so called 'Dark Magic'.

Admittedly at the beginning Harry had felt strange and guilty, but as the time passed and he learned more and more about Magic in general – things that no one had taught him before – he began to understand.

A sudden noise, closer than probably both of them wanted to admit, suddenly tore Harry from his memories. They were running out of time.

Snape's head, that had snapped into the direction of the sound, turned back to him and without one more word, grabbed his hand in a tight grip.

The touch was so unfamiliar that it made Harry flinch involuntarily, but nevertheless he made no move to free himself from the grasp. They needed to do this and quick, or everything they had been through the past few weeks would have been in vain.

Returning the grip as strongly as Harry could, he forced his aching head to concentrate on his magic. He knew this whole idea had been a risky one, but he refused to back down now, after they'd come so far – after Tom had suffered so much.

Feeling his thoughts begin to wander from the actual subject at hand once again, Harry bit his lip hard, to keep focused. Almost immediately the copper, metallic taste of his blood threatened to turn his stomach. Harry's lips had obviously been dry and already partly torn.

Concentrating on his broom and also trying to think of one of the school brooms, Harry willed them both to come to where they were. Closing his eyes to help his imagination along, Harry beckoned them in his head as if they were animals.

First Harry almost feared that nothing at all was happening, but then he felt a surge of energy coming through his hand that was gripping Snape's. The warm flow ran up his arm and soon filled his body, soothing some of his pain.

A twig cracked nearby, letting Harry's grip tighten.

"They must be here somewhere.", a voice drifted over to them, faint, but far too close for comfort, "At least two of them. No idea where the other two went…But I swear to god, for a moment I thought I'd seen Lucius Malfoy."

"You see all kinds of things, Little, if the night's long enough.", a gruff voice replied.

"Just because I have better eyes than you, doesn't mean I imagine things!", the first one, Little, retorted haughtily, obviously offended.

"Yeah, right, and tonight you saw Lucius Malfoy.", the gruff one mocked.

The footsteps stopped, probably because Little was determined to start a fight.

Just when Harry heard them really starting to argue, a soft breeze caught his fringe and he opened his eyes to see both his Firebolt and Draco's Nimbus 2001 floating in front of them.

Wordlessly Snape lifted Harry to his feet and heaved him onto his broom, while almost at the same time reaching for Draco's.

Harry clutched his Firebolt, never having felt so unsafe on a broom before. He held onto the smooth handle with a death-grip, feeling it to be warmer than his own cold, stiff hands.

As if knowing that its owner was too weak to even move, the Firebolt slowly rose alongside Snape. In his almost delirious state, Harry thought that although not very practiced, Snape knew how to handle a broom, leading it with a sure and firm hand.

Later Harry couldn't remember when exactly he slipped back into unconsciousness, but fact was, that he had no idea how he got from his broom, into Snape's bedroom…

_/T/'H'_

"…honestly want to tell me that you suddenly 'saw the light' and decided to be on Harry's side?", a voice was slowly seeping into his still aching brain, becoming louder as Harry's awareness sharpened, "What a crock of shit!"

"Could you two keep it down?", Draco's voice cut in, "Or do you intend on alerting the whole castle? Including Harry who is still resting."

There was silence then and Harry was beyond grateful. Trying to piece together his incomplete memories, the Gryffindor reached out for Tom mentally. Relief washed over him the second time, as he found him. Still weak, but better than the last time he had frantically tried to seek him out.

Wrapping himself mentally around the other boy, Harry felt him stir and shift closer, but not wake.

The opening of the door alerted Harry of another's presence. Peeling his eyelids apart, he squinted into the darkness. The bed dipped slightly as someone sat next to him and a moment later a cool hand smoothed back his fringe. The touch was familiar and Harry relaxed immediately.

"Draco?", he croaked weakly, not able to keep his eyes open for longer than a few seconds yet.

"Yes, Harry.", the other boy replied softy, "How are you feeling?"

The black haired boy needed a moment to answer.

"Not…not too great."

"You should go back to sleep. You need your strength.", Draco said gently, pausing for a moment, "And Riddle does too."

By the mention of Tom's name, Harry relented almost immediately.

"Thank you, Draco.", was all he managed to mumble before slipping back into darkness, "For bringing him back to me."

_/T/'H'_

The second time Harry woke, he already felt much better. His head was clear, although it still hurt. Checking on Tom, he found the other boy still asleep.

Almost immediately Harry noticed another person in the room, and this time it wasn't Draco. Slowly sitting up, Harry panted with effort. Obviously he was still weaker than he had first believed.

Suddenly strong, warm hands were helping him sit and adjusted pillows behind his back for him to lean against.

"Easy, Harry, you are still not well."

Harry's head snapped up so quickly, he was dizzy for a moment. Blinking to stop the world from spinning and make the dark spots that danced in front of his vision vanish, Harry tried to make out who it was that was with him. The voice was so familiar, and yet he was sure he hadn't heard it in a long time.

Dark blue eyes looked back at him when he was finally able to see again. A thin, slightly ragged face and long, shaggy black hair all completed the image that was his godfather.

Hot, long suppressed tears immediately sprang to Harry's eyes, taking his vision once again, but he didn't care. With a desperate sound the small boy flung himself into his godfather's arms.

"Sirius", he gasped.

Sirius' hugged him tightly, his grip almost so strong it hurt, but Harry didn't even notice. All this time he had tried to deny how much he missed his godfather. His advice, his company or simply the knowledge that he could always come to him no matter what he needed.

Sirius was his only family, the only real family he'd ever known. Harry had no idea how the love of parents felt, or what loving their parents meant. His parents' sacrifice assured Harry that the love had been there, but he had never had the chance to actually experience it. But Sirius had always been like a father to him and Harry knew that he was like a son to his godfather. That he had loved him from the moment he was born.

"It's okay, Harry, I'm here now.", the former Gryffindor reassured him, his own voice choked with tears, "I'm here now and I will never leave again."

Harry's grip tightened as he pressed his wet face more firmly against his godfather's chest.

He had no idea how long he wept in Sirius's arms, only that he felt liberated and lighter than he had in a long time when he finally drew back to wipe his face.

Sirius was wiping his own eyes, grinning at him tearfully, but sheepishly.

"I would give you a hanky,", he said in a slightly hoarse voice, "but I don't have one."

Harry grinned and his muscles almost refused the movement, which had become so unfamiliar.

"Snape keeps them in the bedside drawer."

Sirius nodded, reached over and opened said drawer, fishing two handkerchiefs from it.

"I don't think I want to know what else is in there.", he joked weakly, handing Harry one of the little white cloths, that had two neat black 'S's along with a family crest stitched into one corner.

Harry carefully dried his face, every muscle in his body still aching. When he lowered it again and saw Sirius in front of him, it was hard to believe that he wasn't dreaming. For so long he had imagined what it would be like once he had his godfather back. And even before that – when he didn't know that he ever would see Sirius again – Harry had dreamed up hundreds of scenarios where he would come back to him.

But none of them had ever been like this. It all seemed so easy. Harry felt as if they'd never been apart.

Suddenly a thought struck him that almost paralysed him. Did Sirius even know about Tom?

Of course he had seen him in the mirror-world, but Harry doubted that his godfather had recognised the 16-year old Slytherin boy. Furthermore he doubted that Sirius had been in his right mind while he was living in his dream.

"Harry?", Sirius asked, concern clear in his eyes, "You alright? Are you in pain again?"

Harry refrained from telling his godfather that he couldn't remember what it meant to not be in pain and set for shaking his head, which he regretted.

"I'm okay.", he said then, "Just something I was thinking…"

Sirius cleared his throat and shifted on the bed, his expression changing to something Harry would have described as awkward had it been on another's face.

"Well this thing about Snape and Malfoy…", he trailed off, obviously unsure as how to continue.

Harry sighed, slumping even further into the pillows he was leaning against. He didn't know if he should be relieved or not that the subject concerning Tom would have to wait.

"What about Draco and Snape?", Harry asked, meeting Sirius' eyes.

"Draco?!", Sirius spat out, "You can't be bloody serious, Harry! After all that git has done to you?! And his father was a fucking-"

"Spy.", Harry interrupted smoothly.

He didn't have to be Trelawney to anticipate what his godfather's outburst would be like. Although Harry loved him dearly, Sirius was not the most unpredictable person and once you figured him out…

"What?", the former Gryffindor looked at him incredulously.

"He was a spy for Dumbledore, Sirius.", Harry explained calmly, "Just like Draco and Snape."

The dark-haired man opened his mouth to say something, only to close it again soundlessly. Harry thought it best to let Sirius soak up that information and simply watched him silently.

"Draco Malfoy is a Death Eater?"

This was actually not the question he had expected.

"Yes.", Harry said nevertheless, "He was forced to take the Mark, because Voldemort wanted another spy at Hogwarts."

"Another…?", Sirius had obvious problems grasping everything Harry was trying to tell him.

"A girl under the codename of 'Shadow' is spying for him here. She has a servant, another unknown girl. For the last months we have been trying to figure out who they are, but we still have no clue.", Harry tried to give the simplest summery he could master, but it proved to be extraordinarily difficult not to mention Tom.

"Bloddy hell!", Sirius exclaimed, "I sure as hell missed out on some serious shit!"

"I see your language is just as colourful as it has always been, Black.", a deep voice suddenly interrupted their conversation.

Harry, who has become quite familiar with both Snape's voice and presence over the last few weeks, was not startled. Sirius, however, jumped up from the bed.

"Fuck, Snape!", he burst out, "Can't you knock?!"

Snape's lips thinned and a dark frown appeared on his forehead. Harry knew this expression all too well.

"I can most certainly _not_, Black, seeing as this is _my_ bedroom.", the potion's master hissed, glaring at his godfather.

Blood shot into Sirius' cheeks, his eyes almost spraying sparks, he opened his mouth to yell at his nemesis when suddenly a third voice spoke up.

"When you are quite finished with behaving like children, Black, Severus, I would kindly request that you get out of here so Harry can get some more rest.", Draco appeared next to Snape, his expression tight, "In case it escaped your notice, he almost died and is not yet fully recovered."

Sirius snapped his mouth shut, looking actually guilty, whereas Snape wore a smug expression. Before turning to exit his bedroom, however, Snape stepped closer to the bed and handed the Gryffindor another vial.

"Drink this before you go to sleep.", was all he said before he left.

Sirius looked sheepishly at Harry, bending down to kiss his forehead.

"If you need me, Harry, I'll be right outside.", he assured him.

Harry smiled tiredly.

"Thank you, Sirius."

His godfather smiled back, then left the room, but not before glaring at Draco as he passed him.

The Slytherin seemed unfazed and shut the door as soon as they were alone. Making his way over he sat next to Harry on the bed, gently as not to move him too much.

"How are you, Harry?", he asked, brushing the fringe from his forehead in a loving gesture.

"I'm fine, Draco.", Harry said gently, "So did you tell everyone off for keeping me from resting and threw them out, so you could do the same now?"

Draco had the decency to look slightly guilty, but his mouth lifted in a small smirk, before his expression changed into a more serious one.

"You haven't told him yet?"

"I just don't know how.", Harry sighed helplessly, "How am I supposed to tell him something like this? I know Sirius – he'd never understand. He'd flip completely."

Draco studied him for a moment before he replied.

"I won't tell you something stupid like 'I know this must be hard for you' or anything along that line, because I really have no idea about stuff like this, but if you want my opinion- tell him. Sooner rather than later. There is not much time left."

Harry sighed again, looking down at the duvet that covered him, smoothing it with his hands.

"I know.", he said after a while, "I will tell him. Just not right now. First I need to make sure that Tom is okay, after that we'll tell him."

Draco just nodded and carefully stood up from the bed.

"I will let you rest now.", he said, indicating the end of the conversation, "We are all outside should you need anything."

"Thank you.", Harry said softly, looking up, "For everything."

The door closed softy behind his best friend as Harry slid under the sheets, setting the empty vial onto the bedside table.

'_Please, Tom, come back to me soon.'_


	36. Chapter 36

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J., and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hello guys *sheepish grin*. i know it's been some time and i'm truly sorry i didn't update sooner. as always, i can only promise to try harder. to my defence i must say though, that this chapter was a complete pain in the ass! it nearly drove me mental. i'm still unsatisfied with some parts, but decided not to dwell on it, because i didn't want to keep you hanging any longer. i promise the next chapter won't be as boring, but some stuff just can't be ignored and has to be setteled, even if it's not that exciting...oh, well...

i know that some of you may think that Sirius is somehow OOC, but i have looked at this from about every point of view i could manage and, at least in my opinion, don't think he's too far off the mark. for all of the ppl who think he's too calm, don't worry, there're enough traditional Sirius-flip-scenes yet to come.

i also apologise for the lack of Tom in the chapter, but i promise the next one will be ruled by him as any other, lol.

a **very, very, _VERY BIIIG_ thank you to _ALL_ of my readers and reviewers**, you are the best! i absolutely ADORE all your comments and they really mean a lot to me. i hope you will continue giving me feedback. can't believe i've got over 700 reviews! but pls don't let that stop you from commenting. i can only get happier about it!

so, i'll shut up now and hope to see you soon!

enjoy!

**_sexy fox 101: thanks so much for your review, i'm glad you like my story so much! i was very flattered by your compliments and hope you will like the way IyM is going to turn out. as to your questions :) : 1) basically i'm fine with Mpreg, but in my story there isn't gonna be any Mpreg, not only because it wouldn't quite fit in the story-line, but also mainly cause they're still in school. 2) about Draco/Blaise - no, this paring won't feature in the story. i quite like Blaise actually, but Draco already has a fixed destiny that he has to fullfill, lol! but you'll have to wait till the sequel is out to find out more about Draco. thanks again for your review, and pls feel free to ask me all you want ^^._**

* * *

"…_very disappointed, Shadow. I thought the task I had set for you would be easy enough for you to accomplish. Unfortunately it seems now as if I was wrong.", Lord Voldemort's velvety words were a sharp contrast to the murderous glint in his ruby eyes._

_The dark robed figure in front of him stood stock still, their head bowed._

"_Forgive me, my Lord.", came a faint voice from under the hood._

_Voldemort's thin lips transformed into a sneer. How he loved the power he had over every single Death Eater. They were so pathetic, so weak with human emotions and so hungry for a power they would never be able to get._

"_I seem to recall, my dear Shadow, the time where you assured me that granting you your personal servant would help you fulfil all of your duties. And although she has been useful, I fail to see the evidence for your promise.", Voldemort purred the words, knowing exactly which buttons to press to get a reaction from his most important spy._

_And indeed, Shadow stiffened further, her head snapping up without revealing her face, but Voldemort could feel her almost terrified eyes on him. What a shame he had to lose servants with so much potential to emotions._

"_My Lord, she has-", Shadow started hastily, a slightly panicked undertone in her usually even voice._

_Voldemort, however, held up a hand, silencing her almost immediately again. He had neither the time nor the patience for this._

"_Should you fail with your most important task, it will be your little servant who will receive the punishment- not you.", he hissed smoothly, his red eyes fixed on Shadow, regretting not for the first time that he couldn't see her probably ashen face, "Have I made myself clear?"_

_There was a short pause and a sharp intake of breath._

"_Yes, my Lord.", Shadow chocked out, her frame shivering slightly._

"_Very well.", Voldemort was beyond pleased, "Dismissed."_

_Deep satisfaction echoed through him when he watched Shadow scramble away, almost letting him forget the disappointment and the rage that had overcome him when he had learned that Shadow had failed in her task to observe Potter and his little group of imbeciles when they went and freed that mutt Sirius Black. He still had no idea what that secret power of Potter was._

_But never mind. Nothing mattered, because the most important thing was, that Potter had no idea of his secret weapon. The weapon that would finally make him his._

_/T/'H'  
_

In an all too familiar movement Harry shot up from the bed, shaking and drenched in sweat. His hand automatically reached up to his burning scar, feeling his slick hair plastered to his forehead. It had become so long that it was hanging into his eyes, making them sting.

He was ready to brush it aside, when suddenly a cool hand did it for him, making Harry jump and whip his head around. Even though his hair was no longer obscuring his vision, he could make out almost nothing in the pitch-black room.

"Harry…", it wasn't more than a breath, but Harry would have recognised the voice anywhere.

Still trembling all over from the nightmare, Harry reached out blindly.

"Tom…"

Almost immediately he was caught in a weak, but intense embrace, feeling Tom growing warm under his touch as Harry moved as close to him as possible.

Relief so strong it brought tears to his eyes washed over him. There were no words to describe how scared he had been ever since Tom had stepped through the veil. Harry knew that he could never let Tom leave again. He wouldn't survive it.

Finding the familiar crook of Tom's neck, Harry buried his wet face there, drenching the Slytherin's collar as he finally let the tears flow.

The other boy held him, rocking him slightly in an unconscious movement of comfort. Harry sank even deeper into him, the relief making him feel faint. He could feel Tom's breath against his ear, his lips in his hair, his fingers gently caressing his back…

A sudden gasp from somewhere across the room made Tom grow rigid and Harry's eyes open in alarm. The room was suddenly brighter, making him blink in confusion. The Slytherin's arms were still around him, his body automatically having moved to shield him from any possible danger.

Detangling himself slightly, Harry sat up properly and almost wished he hadn't. Framed in the light coming from the next room stood his godfather, wearing a completely dumbfounded expression.

Harry's hold on Tom tightened involuntarily. This was definitely not the way he had wished for Sirius to find out about Tom. His heart beat wildly and he felt his throat closing up.

"Who the hell are you?", Sirius growled, obviously unable to do or say anything else.

Tom's eyes met Harry's, with a solemn but determined gaze. Harry felt his insides knotting together, nausea suddenly hitting him. There was nothing they could do, no way they could lie to his godfather without making things worse.

Closing his eyes in defeat, Harry tried to block out the feeling of despair when he heard Tom's next words.

"I am Tom Riddle."

_/T/'H'_

The slamming of the door echoed throughout the bedroom, making Harry wince. The whole encounter couldn't have gone more wrong. Harry felt all hope fade that Sirius could come to accept Tom somehow, leaving a gaping hole inside him.

No one understood. No one wanted to listen.

Sinking down onto the covers, he allowed Tom to draw him into his arms and gently caress his tangled hair. His other hand moving to his back, which was still tight with tension.

Harry clutched at the Slytherin's robes, his fingers twisting into the dark fabric, as he buried his head in the taller boy's chest. Tom was warm now, wrapping himself around him protectively.

Why was it that the person he had believed he could trust the least had become the most important in his life? So much had happened this term and Harry was still overwhelmed by all of it. As usual fate hadn't given him time to adjust to anything, always throwing something new on top of all the drastic changes he had gone through in the past months.

It was well into the morning hours when Harry's restless mind finally stopped spinning long enough for him to succumb to exhaustion. While listening to Tom's even breathing he slipped into a restless sleep, plagued by dreams

_/T/'H'_

Bracing himself Harry took a deep breath, then slowly reached for the handle of the door. It was cool under his hot, sweaty grasp and his knuckles turned white as he gripped it tightly. Not allowing himself to back down, Harry gathered all his Gryffindor courage and forced his hand to push down and open the door.

As expected, he spied a big black dog on the rug near the fireplace. Other than that, the rooms were deserted, both Draco and Snape being in class.

Letting all the air out of his lungs, Harry silently closed the door behind him and took a few hesitant steps in his godfather's direction.

He knew that Snape had had a raging argument with Sirius on the topic of staying locked in the professor's quarters. Snape had won, reminding the Animagus cruelly of the last time he hadn't heeded advice and left Grimmauld's Place almost a year ago.

Harry felt more than sorry for his godfather, the guilt over keeping his return a secret from Hermione and Ron making the situation all the more painful.

Having reached the couch closest to the rug, Harry sank onto its soft pillows, his heart beating wildly.

"Sirius.", he tried tentatively.

The dog's ears twitched, but otherwise there was no reaction.

Harry sighed.

"Look, I know all of this is a lot to for you to take in, but it hasn't been easy for me either.", he said softly, "All of this has happened so quickly that sometimes I still can't believe it's true. But it is and…and strangely enough, I quite like it this way. I finally feel as if I belong somewhere, you know?"

This, finally, provoked a reaction and in the blink of an eye, the big black dog had vanished and in its stead stood his godfather. His blue eyes were a swirl of all kinds of emotions, the strongest of them probably confusion.

The couch dipped under Sirius' weight as the man sat down next to him. Harry wanted nothing more than to hug him. He had missed him so much and now that he was finally back, they didn't even have time to catch up.

"What about Ron and Hermione?"

Harry stiffened. He had been dreading this question ever since he had made the decision to talk to him this morning.

Running a hand through his hair, both to brush the long fringe out of his eyes as well as giving in to the habit of doing it when he was distraught, Harry sighed.

"We grew apart, I suppose..." he said vaguely, not knowing how else to describe the direction his relationship with his best friends had taken.

"Harry, they were your best friends for 5 years and you want to tell me you managed to grow apart over just a few months? Just like that?", Sirius questioned, disbelief thick in his voice.

Harry squirmed uncomfortably, but at the same time something in him was eternally grateful that he finally had someone that was interested in Hermione and Ron. Someone who cared enough to ask and cared enough about them to ask him about it.

Harry knew he had been running away from the topic and had been scared to even think about them, scared what he would discover about them as well as himself once he allowed himself to dwell on the subject.

"I don't really know what happened to us, Sirius. After I caught the diary…I don't know…in the beginning nothing changed. Everything was as it always had been, but I think something had been slightly off between Hermione and Ron ever since last summer. Hermione is in love with him, but he's too blind to see it and that caused tension between them that wasn't there before, leaving me in the middle…and well, Tom", here Harry stopped to cautiously look at Sirius and gauge his reaction.

The former Gryffindor was uncharacteristically calm, only the slight steely look giving away his true feelings at the mention of Tom's name. Harry could see, though, that he was trying and trying hard. This fact in and of itself was enough to spread warmth through his body and make his heart swell with love.

"Go on, Harry.", Sirius encouraged him gently.

Taking another deep breath, Harry tried to arrange his thoughts before continuing.

"It was hard. I had to deal with him and they kept asking about him, but there was nothing I could tell them. He isn't the monster they were convinced he is and as soon as I tried to explain Ron would flip and start insulting either Tom or both of us. The more I got along with Tom, the harder it was to talk to Hermione and Ron. I knew that I could have tried talking to Hermione. I'm sure she would have listened to me, maybe even understood me, but I didn't want to get her into a situation where she would have had to keep secrets from Ron. I knew that would have broken her heart.", Harry said softly, "So I started to just not tell them stuff anymore, it was just easier that way. I got my own room and then Tom was able to materialise, which made everything even more complicated. Then Draco got involved and even though I felt the need to share things with Ron and Hermione, there was just too much that I hadn't told them, too much I couldn't tell them but things they needed to understand before I could tell them anything else..."

Harry trailed off as he could feel his throat tightening and his eyes starting to burn. Nevertheless, he turned his head to meet his godfather's concerned eyes. Seeking physical contact, Harry reached out and grasped Sirius' forearm.

"And-And now I just don't want for the same thing to happen to us, Sirius.", his grip on his godfather's arm tightened, as if he was afraid Sirius would draw it back, "I just got you back and I can't lose you again. I missed you so much and…and I just need you to trust me. Please just trust me, okay?"

Without any warning, Sirius suddenly grabbed him and hugged him tightly, crushing him against his chest.

"Of course, Harry", he said hoarsely, "of course I trust you."

_/T/'H'_

The noise of the rain outside was soothing and Harry watched the drops on the window slide down and become wet lines, forming a pattern only they knew. It was darker outside than it should be this early in the afternoon, stormy clouds hiding the sun behind a thick curtain of water.

Hogwarts' grounds were deserted, all of the students not daring to step outside with the weather this foul. The lake was overflowing and the only light that could be seen was from Hagrid's hut, where the half-giant had clearly lit candles despite the early hour.

"So, how much has that git told you about this?", Sirius asked behind him.

Sighing, Harry turned round, focusing his attention back on his godfather. Under the protection of Harry's Invisibility Cloak Sirius had been allowed to accompany Harry to the Room of Requirement in order to get some privacy and 'to breathe some bloody fresh air' – as Sirius had put it.

Snape, wisely, had chosen to ignore that particular comment and had looked distantly relieved at having his quarters to himself for a change. He had given Harry some potions to take along, accompanied by strict instructions, and had dismissed him from his care. Sirius, however, was to return to Snape's rooms later this afternoon to stay there as agreed. Harry was more than grateful that Sirius was at least trying to work with them, because although there was a sour look on his face, the former Gryffindor still refrained from protesting any further on the subject.

Nevertheless, Harry couldn't help but feel some kind of naïve remorse that they couldn't just all play 'happy families', although imagining Snape as part of his family made Harry blanch slightly. There were boundaries, after all.

Walking over to where his godfather was sitting, Harry positioned himself on the armchair opposite him, which had just appeared.

Concentrating on the topic at hand, Harry answered his godfather.

"Only that there's a special power that runs in the blood in my family, which is passed on to heirs and…and that the parents aren't able to…unlock the power themselves, that's why there's a third party involved, who's called the 'key' and is required to have different blood running through their veins and to have a strong bond of friendship with the parent in which the Potter-blood runs.", Harry said, stuttering slightly as he tried to remember everything that Tom had told him.

Sirius looked quite solemn, nodding slightly in response.

"This is all true, although not quite that simple.", he said thoughtfully, "It's true that the power is passed on through blood, but it's not necessarily the same power. The character and also certain events in the life of the person who it is passed on to, have a big influence on how the power will develop and what it will turn out to be."

Harry stared at him, trying to wrap his mind around this new concept without really understanding what it actually meant for him. And here he had thought that it wouldn't get any more complicated.

"So what you're saying is that not even _you_ know what my power is supposed to be?"

Sirius nodded, shifting slightly in his chair and leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"We will only know when we have unlocked it.", he said seriously, "But first of all, I have to ask you if you're really sure about this. If you, and by that I mean you personally, actually want this power."

Not having expected this particular question, Harry stared at him for a moment, uncomprehendingly. It had never before occurred to him that he even had a choice in the matter.

"I don't really think I can refuse.", Harry said truthfully.

Suddenly Sirius was in front of him, both of his hands firmly grasping his shoulders, forcing Harry to look him in the eye.

"Harry, this is a very important decision. If you choose to accept this power, your life will change forever. You will have to learn to control it, adjust to it and also embrace it. No matter what kind of power it may be.", Sirius said intently, his blue eyes flashing.

Harry couldn't remember ever having seen his godfather this stoic before. His grip on him was tight, almost painful, obviously meant to make him see how serious the situation truly was.

He found it hard to believe that something he had thought would be easy was actually one of the most important decisions in his life.

"You father refused this power. He was not ready to risk the chance of it being something he wouldn't be able to handle. He didn't want to risk the chance that it was something that could endanger the people around him. Once you make the decision to unlock your power, there is no way back."

Harry stared at him, wide-eyed. It had never occurred to him to think about his father, completely missing the fact that he must have had this power too.

"But…But I-I thought it would be something that would help us.", he breathed, "I thought it would just give me more power to stand up to Voldemort."

He knew he sounded like an idiot, but the surprise of the heavy weight that had been added to everything else he was already carrying seemed to have numbed his brain.

"There is no doubt it will do exactly that, Harry.", his godfather said, his voice gentle but firm, "But it will also do much more than that. We don't know what your power is, Harry. It could be setting stuff on fire just by looking at it, as far as we know."

_/T/'H'_

For the first time in days, Harry stepped into their room again. Nevertheless, he only had eyes for Tom. His Tom, who was currently curled up in one of the armchairs, a book in his lap.

Looking up, the other boy's green eyes met his own and Harry felt some of his despair dissolve like snow under the warming rays of the sun.

Harry watched as the Slytherin marked the page in his book before discarding it without a second glance, instead focusing all of his attention on Harry.

Without a word, Harry walked into Tom's waiting arms, craving the love and protection he knew he would find there.

Tom was still weak, but on the steady way to recovery. His embrace was strong as Harry collapsed bonelessly on his lap, arms winding around his neck, lips pressing gentle kisses wherever they could reach. The other boy's breath was hot against the side of his face as Tom nuzzled him there, his arms drawing him even closer and pressing their bodies tightly together.

Inhaling Tom's familiar scent, Harry willed his heart to slow to a normal pace, trying to block out anything but this for a moment.

Everything he thought he was sure of had been thrown over by Sirius' words just moments ago. He had thought he knew what he had to do, that he knew where they were heading and what to expect, but now he didn't know anything anymore…

…except the fact that Tom would be with him every step of the way, no matter which path he chose.

_/T/'H'_

When she found her, Shadow was huddled in the corner of the room. It was dark and the wind was, once again, howling outside, making the shutters of the small hut clatter against the wooden walls from time to time.

One look at the taller girl was enough to confirm what she already knew. She had felt it the moment it had overcome Shadow, felt it as clear as if it was her own feelings that had managed to become a jumbled mess. Their link had become stronger with time and she hated it as much as she craved it. Just like she did her.

Not able to resist the pull, the servant crossed the room and knelt at Shadow's side.

"What happened?", the smaller girl asked softly, fighting the urge to touch her.

"I didn't summon you.", Shadow said, her voice hoarse and her eyes fixed on the wall on the other side of her.

Only a month ago showing up without having been told would have ended in a great deal of pain for her, but things had changed and as much as both of them were trying to ignore it, they knew.

"Not directly, no.", the servant said, knowing that today Shadow wouldn't inflict pain upon her, at least not physically, "But we both know how much you wanted me to be with you."

For the first time that day, Shadow's eyes snapped to hers. They had been hiding for a long time, ignoring the truth and regularly having indulged into inane word and power games when their fate had been clear almost from the start.

But the servant hadn't wanted to believe any of it. She had been deaf to the call of her heart and most of all her soul. She was a Gryffindor and Shadow was a traitor. They believed in entirely different things, in entirely different people, each hating the decisions the other had made in life. Nevertheless, Shadow had managed to bind them in a way that her servant had never known was possible. And from this moment alone she should have known the truth. The truth that Shadow was her soul mate, because otherwise the spell never would have worked.

With a sound that sounded like a sob, Shadow slumped forward into her servant's waiting arms, her hands clutching the smaller girl's robe as she shook in her embrace. The smaller girl was silent, coiling around her as best as she could and stroking her long, silky hair with gentle fingers.

She didn't know how long they had been sitting on the wooden floor, but it must have been for some time, because when Shadow shifted and sat up slightly, her servant was numb from having been locked in the same position.

Even after all those months they have spent together, it was strange to look at her. Look into the face of a girl she had known, but with eyes staring back at her that belonged to a completely different person.

Maybe the servant was wrong to call her a traitor, after all there was nothing left of the girl she once was.

Unable to restrain herself any longer, the smaller girl reached out gently to touch Shadow's face. The other girl didn't recoil as she had feared, but instead leaned into the touch, covering her hand with one of her own.

"You could still stop.", her servant whispered desperately, eyes brimming with tears, "You could stop all of this. Harry would forgive you, I know he would and we'd be on his side instead. We could-"

A slender finger pressed to her lips and silenced her feverish plea.

"It's too late.", she said softly, "War is upon us and we will face it standing on the side of the Dark Lord."

Tears blurred the image of the girl in front of her and she finally looked away. Nothing had changed. She was still the servant and Shadow was still a Death Eater.

Although when arms wrapped around her in a loving embrace, she knew that at least this one thing had changed. As much as she loved Harry, she was bound to Shadow and protecting her had become her first priority. The fight with herself had finally ended – with her surrendering completely, helplessly.


	37. Chapter 37

Inside your Mind

Pairing: Tom/Harry

Rating: R

Warnings: it's SLASH that means m/m love, don't like don't read

Disclaimer: i own nothing, that tribute sadly goes to J., and am not making money in any way by writing this

A/N.: hello everyone! aren't i good? i can't remember when i last posted so close to my last update! but what can i say - i'm proper in the flow at the moment. i'm even writing another story alongside this one - the new Star Trek movie as really got me and managed to morph me into a Trekkie. Spock and Jim are simply too hot! lol

so anyway, back to Harry. i had no one else go over the chapter except for myself, which means there will prb be some mistakes in it - sorry! i just thought you might appreciate it if i simply post it now with some mistakes rather than tomorrow without any :)!

i must say everything is progressing quite smoothly and more action is to follow soon now that the in-between bits have all been covered. i promise i'll do my best to update again soon!

once again **THANK YOU** to all my reviewers! i'm so glad you like it, it means a lot to me.

enjoy!

_**sky-sun-neighbor:** you'll just have to see if your suspicions are correct ;). as to names that are stated first being dominant: as far as i know it matters little which name stands on what side. at least that's the way i always treated it..._

_**sexy fox 101:** lol, some very creative ideas for the outcome of this story, i see. too bad i can't answer any of them. you'll just have to wait and see ;)._

_**Cailleac:** i'm so flattered that it's my story that made you into a Tom/Harry shipper! glad you like it so much! as to your questions: 1) don't worry, you'll find out who Shadow and her servant are in this story. pretty soon actually ;). 2) there are only a few chapters left till this is over. i'm very bad at estimating ow long sth i write will be cause i'm always influenced by a lot of things, mainly my mood and how my ideas transfer into the story. i honestly envy the writers who, for example, manage to always make their chapters the same length...anyway, i should say there are about 4 chapters left. 5) well technically my boyfriend is my beta (he's british) but sometimes he doesn't have the time or isn't in the mood to proof-read, as it was the case today... i just think having another beta would really slow me down and seeing as i'm not the fastest of writers (sheepish grin) i think it's best to just bow my head in shame in the face of my mistakes and be done with it, lol! -and you remembered correctly, my first language is not english. i live in vienna, but was born in greece :). hope that the info was satisfactory and you'll stick with me for the last few chapters!_

* * *

Darkness had long fallen over Hogwarts, the trees outside swaying slightly in the breeze as the moon, which was reflected in the lake, shone on the wet grounds.

Tom's even breathing from the bed did little to calm his troubled mind. Time was running out, but he was still no closer to a decision than he had been hours ago. What Sirius had told him earlier today- or make that yesterday, seeing as it was already well into the morning- had thrown him completely off guard. He had expected to simply get more detailed information of what the invocation of his powers entailed, before Sirius would help him to successfully awaken it.

Of course fate had spit him in the face once more. Instead of being able to follow the path already laid out for him, Harry was standing in front of another crossroads. He could- no he actually _had to_ _choose_ what to do. Once again the whole weight of the wizarding world lay on his shoulders, only this time...

His eyes wandered over to the bed again, taking Tom's still form in. The Slytherin was still exhausted, Harry knew. For Tom to sleep through the night so restlessly and soundly was a clear sign how much strain travelling into the mirror-world had put on the other boy.

Sighing, Harry turned his eyes back to the window. As much as he just wanted to cuddle up to Tom under the warm covers, he needed to make a decision. Tonight.

_/T/'H'_

"I'll do it."

Sirius head snapped up, the grasp he had on the book he was currently reading slackened and it slipped from his hands, making a dull thud as it connected with the rug on the floor.

"What?"

Harry breathed in deeply and straightened up further, his spine almost as stiff as Tom's usually was when in the presence of anyone but him.

"I said: I'll do it.", Harry repeated, "I want to invoke the power, Sirius."

Sirius still looked completely caught of guard. In an obvious action to buy himself some time, his godfather retrieved the fallen book and placed it on the table in front of him.

It was sometime after nine and Snape was holding his morning classes, leaving Sirius to do as he pleased, which was obviously disregarding the Potions Master's orders. Snape had told him more than once, that it would be best if Sirius stayed in his Animagus form as much as possible. The head of Slytherin should have known what Sirius would think about orders from his archenemy.

"When I said you should think about it Harry, I actually meant longer than one night.", Sirius said slowly.

Harry's whole posture slumped as the sleep deprivation caught up with him. Making his way over to the sofa his godfather was currently occupying, Harry let himself fall onto the empty space next to him.

"I know that, Sirius.", he said quietly, "But there is no time. I've thought thoroughly about this, one night or not, and I think if there is even the slightest chance of defeating Voldemort, then it's worth it."

Rubbing his eyes, Sirius suddenly looked older than Harry remembered. He was too thin and looked stressed. Haunted even. Which was probably not surprising, given the current circumstances.

"Alright."

Startled, Harry's eyes snapped back to his godfather's blue ones.

"Alright?", he echoed in disbelieve.

Given the serious discussion they had had about this topic only yesterday, Harry had come down here steeled for an argument. The sudden compliance of his usually rebellious godfather left him utterly stunned.

Sirius' eyes were solemn as he placed a gentle hand on the boy's shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze.

"Of course it's alright, Harry.", he said gently, "I admit that I'm still anything but fond of the idea, but this is a decision that is entirely yours. As the key I have to follow some ground-rules, the most important one being not to influence you. So if you tell me you really want this, I have to comply. So,…is this truly what you want?"

Harry sat up straight, covering the hand on his shoulder with one of his own.

"Yes."

_/T/'H'_

When Harry returned to their room, Tom had finally woken up. The other boy looked much better than the day before, Harry observed with relief. He was still in bed, though sitting upright, a book lying in his lap.

Harry had difficulty reining in the flood of affection that flooded him.

Approaching the bed, he was careful not to tip the mattress too violently as he sat down next to the Slytherin.

Tom's attention had shifted from the book to him as soon as he had entered and, in familiar fashion, he marked the page and cast it aside.

"How are you feeling?", Harry asked softly, reaching for Tom's hand.

The other boy closed his own fingers around his and gave them a gentle squeeze.

"Better.", he said quietly, sincerely.

The Slytherin's gaze was locked with his own and Harry suddenly couldn't resist the urge to lean in and kiss the other boy.

Tom's lips were warm and pliant under his own, the hand that was currently not engaged, coming up to tangle in Harry's unruly hair.

What was meant to be a brief show of affection, turned into a rather passionate kiss as Tom opened his mouth to invite Harry's tongue.

Sinking down on top of the taller boy, Harry was careful not to crush him. He knew that Tom was still not fully back to normal.

The other boy, however, seemed determined to ignore the fact that he had almost lost his live and was still recovering, because he wound his arms around Harry, trying to get the Gryffindor's full weight pressing him into the mattress.

Gently, Harry drew back from the kiss, his hands caressing Tom's face gently.

"Tom", he chided gently, knowing that the other boy would understand what he was getting at.

Tom rolled his eyes, but relaxed back into the pillows and stopped pushing the issue.

"I won't break, you know.", he muttered, brushing the fringe from Harry's forehead.

"You are still recovering.", Harry retorted firmly, shifting his body so he was lying beside rather than on top of the Slytherin.

"I didn't sustain any physical injuries, Harry.", Tom interjected gently, embracing Harry as the smaller boy curled into him, "I was merely drained of energy."

The Gryffindor's fingers curled into the material of Tom's pyjamas as he buried his head in the other boy's neck, melding their bodies together.

"I nearly lost you.", Harry mumbled faintly, not really sure if Tom had actually heard him.

Wordlessly, Tom's hold on him tightened and Harry could feel the other boy's lips pressing into his hair, a hand caressing his neck, while the other lay flat on his lower back, holding him securely.

How Harry had missed this. It seemed so long since he had time to simply lie like this with him.

For several minutes, nothing was said between them. The silence a relaxing contrast to the tumult that their lives had been lately. Tom's breathing was even and Harry could feel, and hear, their hearts beating in unison.

It was such a faint, simple sound, Harry mused, but still it could fill him with such an amount of calm. It was the sound of live. The proof that Tom was well and with him. In moments like these, Harry could hardly bring himself to believe that there was anything else that mattered.

"Did you talk to your godfather?"

The question was quiet and unobtrusive, yet it brought Harry out of the bubble he had been in for the last few minutes.

Sighing, he shifted in order to be able to look into Tom's eyes. Their embrace, however, remained.

"Yes.", Harry said slowly, "I told him I would do it."

Tom tensed slightly, the caresses on Harry's neck faltering before resuming their previous rhythm.

"You know I don't like this.", he said quietly, but firmly, "If I would have known the details before, I would never have suggested that you should invoke your family power."

Harry closed his eyes briefly, he could already feel the peace of he moment slipping through his hands and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"I know, Tom.", was all he said, his gaze having slipped down to the collar of Tom's pyjamas, watching his own fingers playing with the top buttons.

He was momentarily distracted by the creamy skin that was now clearly visible. Not able to suppress the urge, Harry's fingers slipped under the collar and sought it out. Tom's chest was warm and smooth underneath his fingertips and he longed to press his lips to it.

The hand that had been resting on his back suddenly covered his own hands, cutting the exploration short.

"Harry"

Letting out a somewhat frustrated breath, Harry rejoined the conversation.

"I am not thrilled myself, but, just like I told Sirius, if there is a small chance in this helping us defeating Voldemort, I am gladly taking the risk.", his voice sounded tight even to his own ears, "I'm tired of this shit, Tom. I want this all to be over. I want my life back and what I want even more than that is to finally be able to have a life with _you_."

Tom didn't answer him verbally, but instead pressed a soft, sweet kiss to his lips, their emotions melding together through the bond.

Sooner than either of them really wanted, the Slytherin gently drew back. Breathless, and left in want for more, Harry opened his eyes to lock his gaze with Tom's intense green one, knowing that his must look the same.

"So", his voice sounding slightly hoarse, Tom cleared his throat, "What did Black say?"

Harry shrugged.

"I am to meet him tonight in the Room of Requirement and hold the ceremony, or whatever, there."

Tom didn't look entirely convinced. Harry knew that now was the time to tell him something else that he had decided earlier. Dreading the reaction to what he was about to say, Harry tried to buy some time buy thinking his words through carefully.

"Draco will stop by after classes.", he said slowly.

Tom raised an eyebrow, but remained silent, even though Harry knew that a scathing retort was burning on his tongue.

"He'll bring me the notes from today and tell me what we've got to do for homework. I have to attend classes again after this weekend. Madame Pomfrey has given me more free days off than I thought she would. Maybe looking honestly sick had helped when I went to see her the other day.", Harry babbled on, trying to talk up the courage of finally telling Tom what he really needed to know.

The Slytherin was still being uncharacteristically patient, looking at him with a weary expression.

Harry groaned inwardly. Where the hell was his famous Gryffindor courage? It wasn't that bad, after all.

_Just say it._, his annoying inner voice demanded, _trying to prolong it won't help._

"I've chosen Draco to be my key.", he blurted out suddenly.

Shit. That had sure as hell not been how he had intended to say it.

_Once again you prove what a genius you are, Potter._

_-Shut up self._

"You what?", the tone was quiet and controlled.

Too controlled.

Harry cringed, shrinking into himself. The knowledge that this would happen didn't really make it any better.

Sitting up, Harry tried to shift into a comfortable position and faced Tom, who had sat up as well, his spine as rigid as the handle of a broomstick.

"What I wanted to say is that Sirius told me that I needed to choose a key of my own. The person must be present and also take part in the ritual.", Harry was more careful with his words again, trying to avoid anything that could set Tom off, "And I chose Draco."

Tom didn't move, his body so tense and tight as if he had been frozen in place.

"Please, Tom", Harry said softly, wanting to touch him but not quite daring to do so, "He meets all the requirements. He is my friend and I trust him. The key has to be someone not romantically involved with the Potter, but they have to share platonic love. You told me this yourself."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Harry.", Tom forced out between tight lips, "But since when does Malfoy feel _platonic love_ for you?"

Closing his eyes, Harry ran a shaking hand through his hair. Where had the calm and peace form just a few moments before gone?

"Even if Draco feels more than just platonic love, the point is that he is my friend and _I_ love him platonically.", he said tiredly.

"Oh is that so?", Tom hissed sharply.

"For god's sake, Tom!", Harry shouted, having finally snapped and jumped up from the bed, "Even if, for some reason, I wouldn't want to choose Draco, who the fuck else _could_ I choose? Sirius is already a key, you are the person I'm in love with and Ron and Hermione have slipped so far from me that I doubt they even know who I am anymore! So who else should it be?! Snape maybe?! Or even better, Dumbledore?!"

The silence that followed his outburst was almost suffocating. Harry, who had stopped flailing his arms around wildly, avoided Tom's gaze and once again dragged a hand through his abused hair.

Even as he heard the sheets rustling, Harry refused to look at the other boy until he stood directly in front of him, a gentle finger under his chin titling his head slightly up.

The apology was shining so clearly from Tom's green eyes, that Harry simply accepted it by winding his arms around the other boy's shoulders, pressing his face into the Slytherin's neck and closing his eyes.

Tom hugged him close, his grip tight.

Harry sighed. At least that was settled, he though sarcastically.

_/T/'H'_

The knock on the door came soon after the afternoon classes had ended. Harry glanced at Tom, but the other boy made a show of being engrossed in his book, pointedly ignoring everything else.

Harry pushed his glasses up his nose and closed his own book as he got up. He had tried to catch up on some reading for his classes. Final exams were approaching and although Harry had done better this year than ever before, he still felt as if he didn't know the first thing about what was going on.

As expected, Draco stood on the other side of the door with his schoolbag still slung over his shoulder.

"Hey, Draco.", Harry said weakly, stepping aside to let his best friend enter.

The other boy obediently stepped into the room, placing his schoolbag next to one of the armchairs.

Harry closed the door and was promptly met by the familiar sight of the two most important Slytherins in his life engaging in a glaring competition.

Absently rubbing over his scar, Harry tried to ease the pain in his aching head. He wasn't sure if it was because of Voldemort or maybe, for once, simply because of the strain he was under.

He knew that the two boys didn't act like this to spite him, but Harry was sure that neither one of them actually knew how much stress was added to his life by them being unable to accept each other.

"Tom", Harry said quietly, hoping that he wouldn't be met with any more resistance, seeing as they had already had a fight before.

Tom didn't shift his disdainful expression away from Draco as he snapped his book shut and made a show of standing up slowly. A second later, he was gone, leaving the book to fall onto the now vacant armchair.

Draco turned around, rolling his eyes, muttering something along the lines of 'over-dramatic-bastard'.

"So, how are you?", Harry asked, fidgeting with his hands as he sat down stiffly in the armchair he had occupied before.

"I know there is something on your mind.", the Slytherin said, while gracefully falling onto the couch, "So why don't you just spit it out so we can leave out the lame small-talk attempts."

Harry relaxed somewhat.

"It's about the invocation of my power.", Harry said, getting straight to the point this time, "How much do you know about it?"

Draco frowned, bringing his feet up to rest on the coffee table in front of him.

"Not much.", he said thoughtfully, "Nothing actually, despite the fact that it runs in your family."

Harry ran his fingers though his hair, finally relaxing fully. Getting up, he walked over to the couch and sank down next to his best friend. Somehow being closer to him was comforting.

Drawing his knees up, he tucked them under his body, facing Draco fully while leaning sideways against the back of the couch.

"It's not quite as easy as it sounds.", Harry began slowly.

Draco's attention was focused on him as he listened intently as Harry explained the situation as best as he could. There were still things, after all, that he himself hadn't completely comprehended.

"And you want to do this tonight?"

Harry shrugged.

"There's no reason for us to wait. The sooner I can face Voldemort, the better."

Draco was silent for a moment and Harry kept quiet as well, letting the other boy arrange his thoughts.

"So what do you need to do?", he asked then, "Did Black tell you anything?"

"Well, as far as I know the ritual itself is pretty basic, but there is one thing I still need.", Harry said slowly.

"And what's that?", Draco asked expectantly.

"A key."

The Slytherin looked thoughtful.

"You mean 'a person you share a strong friendship with'? Like Black and your father?"

"Yeah.", taking a deep breath, Harry finally blurted it out, "Would you be my key Draco?"

Draco stared at him, his gaze completely uncomprehending. It almost seemed as if the Slytherin was waiting for Harry to start laughing and tell him that it had been a joke.

"_What_?", he finally forced out.

"I need a key or the ritual can't take place.", Harry answered softly, "And you are my best friend now. Maybe the only friend I have left."

Draco's eyes were wide as he stared at him for a long moment. When he moved, it was to lean forward and wrap Harry in a tight embrace.

The Gryffindor reciprocated, relaxing into his friend's arms.

When he drew back, Draco's eyes where overly bright, something he hadn't seen since the day his father had died.

"It would be my honour, Harry."

_/T/'H'_

The Room of Requirement looked exactly like the last time he had been there, only that his time the light was dim and came mostly from the candles that had been set up in a strange formation on the floor.

Draco was close beside him as he greeted Sirius. The greeting between them was surprisingly civil, probably due to the fact that his godfather was still indebted to him because he had played an important role in freeing him from the mirror-world.

Harry caught himself reaching out for Tom in his mind, but quickly stopped when he realised what he was doing.

Sirius' orders on the subject had been clear. No one but the two keys and Harry could be present at the invocation or the whole thing would be for nothing. Tom, therefore, had had no choice but to stay behind in their room and draw up a mental wall between their minds.

The feeling was unpleasant and only resulted in remembering the horrible time after Tom's betrayal. Harry hoped that the ritual would be over soon. Since Tom having come so close to being taken from him during the veil-ordeal, their mental selves were all the more intertwined. Harry could not imagine his life without this kind of link anymore. He'd rather die than lose it.

The preparations for the ritual were surprisingly unspectacular. Sirius positioned them in the right places and took his own place.

Later, Harry wouldn't be able to recall anything that had happened after that, except for some murmured words, a blinding white light and a pain so intense that his legs had given out from underneath him.

The blackness that followed came slower than any other time he had fainted, almost as if the darkness was creeping up on him, taunting him until it swallowed him completely.


End file.
